Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 2: Identifying Bullying
• Method 2 of 2: Solving the Problem of Psychological Abuse
• Tips
• Warnings

Psychological abuse can take many forms, from demeaning jokes to offensive remarks. Sometimes this form of violence is even difficult to identify. This article contains tips to help you identify signs of psychological abuse and protect yourself from such behavior.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Identifying Bullying

1. 1 Be aware of the different forms of psychological abuse. They are always bullied in different ways. If you set out to deduce some common types of such violence, you get the following:
   • Humiliation and criticism: When you are constantly belittled, condemned and criticized.
   • Domination, control: when you are treated like a child and you catch yourself thinking that you are constantly asking permission.
   • Denial and unreasonable demands: When the other person cannot accept guilt or apology and constantly denies the facts.
   • Isolation and disregard: when you are boycotted.
   • Codependency: Your personal boundaries are constantly being violated, you are used as a “vest”.
2. 2 Remember gaslighting. Gaslighting is a psychological aggressive strategy, the purpose of which is to sow doubts in a person's own perception of reality and sanity. This is one of the most secretive forms of psychological violence, but at the same time it is extremely harmful. We can suffer from gaslighting if:
   • You are constantly reviewing your opinion.
   • You apologize constantly, even over trifles.
   • You know something is going terribly wrong, but you can't do anything about it.
   • It's hard for you to make a simple choice.
   • You wonder if you are too sensitive.
3. 3 Remember what is normal in a normal relationship. Violence is sometimes difficult to define, especially if you have no idea what it is all about - a normal relationship. If you feel like you are missing any of the following, then you are most likely experiencing psychological abuse.
   • Benevolence, emotional support.
   • The right to your own feelings and thoughts, even if they are different from the feelings and thoughts of another person.
   • Promotion of your interests and achievements.
   • No physical or emotional threats, including outbursts of anger.
   • Respectful address to you, not allowing derogatory nicknames or other verbal humiliation.

Method 2 of 2: Solving the Problem of Psychological Abuse

1. 1 Ponder the state of the problem in a calm atmosphere. You shouldn't try to solve the problem through arguments. Even if you are completely right, there will be no sense from this, but the harm will be in excess. Instead, consider less conflicting solutions to the problem:
   • Ask the other person if you can talk it over calmly. Instead of throwing the words "mental abuse", tell us how, in your opinion. could make your relationship better. Use more of the pronoun "I", speak in the first person, and do not throw accusations with the pronoun "you".
   • Write a letter. If it seems to you that a heart-to-heart conversation will not work, then put your thoughts on paper. The advantage of this method is that you can write everything as constructively as possible, saying exactly what is in your heart. Make a few drafts, avoid direct accusations that can inflame the recipient's anger. Instead of saying “you are kidding me and I hate it” write something like I feel like I’m being humiliated and teased. ”
2. 2 Get support. A loyal friend or relative who will listen and understand, to whom you can open your feelings is priceless. Plus, if your relationship does fall apart, it's a good idea to have someone around to help you get through it.
   • No need to contact your mutual friend. This will only put him in a very, very unpleasant position. Instead, reach out to someone you know well, but who doesn't know your abuser.
   • Don't get discouraged. Yes, you can cry into a friend's waistcoat at a difficult time. You shouldn't turn it into something for which you are, in fact, “friends”. Otherwise, the "vest" and may be offended, and then you will have not 1, but 2 pieces of spoiled relationships. So do not become limp, do not fall into despair and ... above your nose!
3. 3 Seek professional help. If you can no longer cope with the problem on your own, then contact a professional. Find a therapist or family counselor who specializes in emotional abuse and make an appointment as soon as possible.
   • If the financial aspect limits the choice, look for municipal institutions with specialists in the appropriate profile.
   • It doesn't matter what happens to the relationship later, whether it persists or not. It is important to consult a professional. If your abuser is not interested in participating, then you can simply focus on healing your mental wounds, and then you can move on with your life.
   • If the situation seems to be developing in a threatening way, leave the society of the abuser as soon as possible. Have a friend or relative be with you, or contact your local violence survivor protection center.
4. 4 Break the vicious circle. Go ahead and do not repeat your own mistakes in the future, do not enter into a relationship where you will again face psychological abuse!
   • Don't let anyone humiliate you. If you feel like history is repeating itself, stop immediately.
   • Don't humiliate others. Resist the temptation.

Tips

• If the abuse becomes physical, do not be afraid to collect evidence of it. Electronic certificates can, for the sake of reliability, be encrypted. Contact the authorities and ask them to take action. Physical violence against oneself cannot be tolerated, no matter what the relationship is.
• If for family reasons you cannot leave your abuser (say, children are very fond of him, etc.), then, even if things are going really badly, remember - you endure it for the sake of the family. The sacrifice, of course, is a noble one, but it doesn't hurt to ask for help. Even if moral or religious reasons interfere with your separation, or you do not want to separate the children and the parent, there is an option - to live separately for some time. It helps.
• If you cannot contact the police because your abuser is a policeman himself or someone else in power, carefully plan your ... escape. Stock up on money and ... run, run. Better - to another region. If you have someone to go to, then it's even better.

Warnings

• Psychological violence may well become physical, and then everything will be much more complicated. In this case, seek help from law enforcement and start keeping a diary. Keep it in a safe place, write down everything that happened to you, not forgetting the dates. If you have been injured, take pictures of them or film them. It will be better if a friend takes the photo and signs it as a witness.