Author:
Robert Simon
Date Of Creation:
21 June 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
All of us, even the most confident people, have moments of anxiety, anxiety and hesitation. However, confident people know how to handle those moments and make use of their strong will. A confident demeanor can attract positive attention and open up new opportunities. Even if you don't feel confident, the "pretend to come true" technique can help you right then, in the hope that true confidence will come later. While you may not be able to be confident all the time, you can still learn skills to perform when absolutely necessary, such as when giving job interviews, giving presentations, or attending events. Practice improving body language, socializing, and building a confident lifestyle.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Use Confident Body Language
Imagine what a person without confidence looks like. Perhaps her head was lowered, her shoulders drooped, trying to curl up and avoid eye contact. This posture is associated with submission and fear. This body language indicates that you are nervous, submissive, and lack of confidence. Changing your posture and body language will change other people's impressions of you, their attitudes toward you, and ultimately your own perception of yourself.- If you don't feel comfortable doing this in front of everyone, practice in front of the mirror or in front of the camera until you feel more comfortable. You can also practice with a close friend and see feedback.
Stand up straight with your head held high. Stand and walk with your shoulders balanced and slightly back. Face straight forward and chin balanced. Walk as if the world is yours, though you probably don't think so.- Imagine hanging from the top of your head. Try to keep your head fidgety from spinning around by choosing a fixed point to look at. Focus on that point instead of letting your head constantly move.
Learn to stand still. People who are nervous often change their body focus from side to side, fidgeting or pounding their feet. Try standing with your feet hip-width apart. Keep your center of gravity balanced between your legs. By keeping your feet balanced and secure, your feet will help you avoid feeling like you need to go somewhere.- Keep your feet level even while sitting. You will feel nervous if your legs are twisted or beat.
Occupies space. Resist your instinct to lean forward or hide your arms under the armrests while sitting on the recliner. Instead, expand and occupy the space around you. This is called power gesture. Studies have shown that those who hold a power posture when interviewing feel more confident and also show outside that confidence. Here are a few powerful poses to try:
- When sitting down, lean back in the chair. Place hands on handrails if available.
- When standing, keep your shoulders open, your hands on your hips.
- Lean against the wall, but don't slump. This will accidentally make you seem like you are the owner of the wall or the room.
Use touch effectively. If you're looking to get someone's attention, tap the person's shoulder. You need to consider the situation and the correlation to know which exposure is appropriate. For example, if you can get a girl to notice simply by calling out her name, physical touch may seem a bit too much. But when you want to call out to someone at a busy, noisy date place, a light touch on the shoulder can catch her attention.
- You remember just a light touch. Using too much force may indicate domination, as opposed to a calm and confident attitude.
Put your hands in a confident position. When standing or sitting, keep your hands mostly still. Confident posture is usually to open the front and body instead of closing in front of the other person. Here are a few suggestions:
- Fold your hands together behind the back or behind your head.
- Put your hands in the pockets of your pants, but leave your thumb open.
- Put your elbows on the table, your hands touching at the tips of your fingers to form a tower. This is a very assertive pose, best used when negotiating, interviewing, and meeting.
Be careful with hand gestures. The hand movement that accompanies each word can be a sign of nervousness or enthusiasm, depending on the culture in which you live. Depending on the situation, it is still better to control your gestures. Keep your arms at waist level and the movements are mostly confined to that space. This will make you seem more trustworthy.
- Palms open and relaxed in social situations. Hard palms or fists exhibit dynamism or domination, often used by politicians.
- Keep your elbows on your flanks. Hands tilted slightly to one side as he gestured so he wouldn't block in front of his body.
Method 2 of 4: Use Confident Social Interaction
Eye contact. Maintaining eye contact while speaking or listening to others is a sign of confidence and concern. Never look at your phone, look at the floor, or constantly look around the room. Such gestures will make you appear impolite, anxious, and even annoying. Try to make eye contact at least half the time of the conversation.
- To start with, try to make enough eye contact with the other person's eyes to see what color the person's eye is.
Shake hands tight. A tight handshake can instantly appear confident and confident. Reach out and invite the other person to shake hands as you are approaching. The fist is tight enough, but it won't hurt the other person's hand. Shake your hands up and down two or three times, then release.
- If your palms get sweaty, keep a tissue in your bag and wipe it off before reaching out to shake it.
- Never give a weak handshake or make the other person feel like holding a dead fish. Such a handshake will make you seem weak.
Speak slowly and clearly. If you often messed up when you were trying to express your opinion in a hurry, then slow down now. Pause for a few seconds before you speak, and you will have more time to prepare for your reaction, making you appear more relaxed and confident.
- When you speak slowly, your voice is also lower. This can make you seem confident and commanding.
Smile often. The smile will quickly bring you a warm, friendly and approachable look. Studies have shown that people love and remember people who smile at them. If you are having trouble smiling naturally, just smile briefly and then return to your normal expression.
- Laughter is also a great way to show and boost confidence at the right time. Avoid giggling because it might seem like you're nervous or arrogant.
Stop apologizing. When you find yourself constantly apologizing, even for trivial things, now is the time to change. You will feel and act with more confidence. Tell your best friends that you are working hard to gain confidence. After apologizing to someone for something unnecessary, say "wait, why should I apologize?". If you can make fun of it, then you don't have to be afraid of offending anyone.
- On the other hand, accept compliments gracefully. When someone compliments you, smile and say "thank you". Don't react by demeaning yourself, or devaluing your accomplishments ("it's nothing").
Treat everyone with respect. Respect in your dealings with others shows that you value them as others, you are not afraid of them, and you are confident in yourself. Avoid getting caught up in gossip, don't gossip. So you are comfortable with yourself.
- This way others will respect you and be inspired by you as well. They will also stop dragging you into stressful and dramatic situations because they know you won't be involved.
Practice the new communication skills above. Go to a party or event to practice some of the above skills. Remember, you don't have to reach out and get to know everyone on the team. Even if you only talk to one person at night, you should consider this a victory. If you don't feel comfortable getting out of the way to practice and choosing to practice at home, enlist the help of a friend.
- For example, you could ask your friend to be an audience member or interviewer if you are preparing for a presentation or interview. If you feel comfortable, invite your friend to come with you to the presentation. This way you can focus on your best friend rather than on everyone in the room.
Method 3 of 4: Building a Confident Lifestyle
Look at your best side. Taking good care of yourself is important for happiness. Your clean body, good looks and health are worth the effort, especially when you're trying to impress in a job interview or on a date. Looks and first impressions have immense power. Being dashing can give you the edge that makes it easier for others to listen and receptive. You will look beautiful and confident in a moment.
- Take time every day to clean your body. Wash, brush your teeth and use deodorant whenever needed.
- Wear what outfit makes you feel beautiful. Your confidence will be boosted if you wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and comfortable.
Good self-assessment. Acting in a confident manner will make you appear more confident, but it's equally important to find your values. This will make you really confident. You are special, talented, and there are many people who want to see you happy. If you are working hard to do this, make a list of your accomplishments. Don't be afraid to congratulate yourself.
- Be honest with everyone and with yourself. When others see that you can trust yourself and acknowledge your mistakes, they will cherish and perhaps trust you more.
Learn how to control your fear. People who lack confidence are often afraid of making mistakes, or afraid of acting like the wrong person. Whenever worry comes to mind, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “I can do it. My fear is unreasonable ”. Be aware of your mistake or failure, but don't dwell on it.
- When you first build your confidence, try doing something that feels more thrilling. For many, this could be asking a question in a crowd, or admitting that you don't know something.
Create a self-confident spirit. When you lack confidence, you may focus on the negative events that shaped your life. Don't look at your mistakes and see them as failures, but see them as lessons for you to develop your personality and confidence. Remember that each mistake is an opportunity to learn and improve next time.
- Remind yourself of all the times you've been successful. Everyone, no matter how confident and dashing they are, make mistakes at times. The way you handle mistakes is important in the long run.
Start writing a diary. You can reduce stress by placing a pen on paper to write down your stressful thoughts (as opposed to letting your thoughts wander), and writing also allows you to think about things differently . To start your journal, try writing something like, "Things I'm proud of are the things I need to remember every time there's a disturbance." (This is easiest to write when you're in a good mood). Such things are always true, but when we are in a bad mood, anxiety or lack of confidence, we often ignore it. Keeping this list with you can help you remember that you have things to feel confident about.
- For example, you might list something like, “Proud of me playing the guitar”, “Proud of being a mountain climber”, “Proud that I can make my friends laugh when they are sad” .
Ask yourself self-confidence-building questions. The greatest source of confidence comes from yourself. When you feel insecure, ask yourself: What do I have that other people don't have? What makes me a social contributor? What are my challenges and how can I improve? What makes me feel worthwhile? Remind yourself that you can't claim to be perfect all the time because it's impractical.
- For example, if you feel nervous before an interview, take five minutes before the interview to try stress management and confidence building. Remind yourself that you prepare and attend the interview on purpose. Raise your hands up high and spread out, then put your hands on your hips. Shake to relax and take a deep breath. Exhale heavily and tell yourself you can do it.
Method 4 of 4: Managing Fear
Understand that fear affects your confidence. Sometimes people think too much about themselves and fear that they are acting that makes others think badly about them. Everyone gets scared and nervous at times, and this is normal. However, if you are feeling so fearful that it can affect your daily life and communication, now might be time to deal with some of those fears.
Take control of your body. What is your body telling you? Your heart is beating hard? Are you sweating? This is your body's natural reflex to help you get ready to act (like the “fight or run” reflex), but sometimes this emotion can cause too much fear and anxiety. What is your body feeling?
- Ask yourself, "What in this situation makes me nervous and afraid?" Maybe you are afraid of sitting in the wrong place at a formal dinner or saying something wrong that will embarrass you.
Assess what is frightening you. Determine if this fear helps you in some way, or if it prevents you from working or living your way. Some other things you need to ask are:
- What am I afraid of?
- Am I sure it will happen? How sure?
- Has it ever happened? What happened last time?
- What is the worst that can happen?
- What's the best that could happen (which I could miss without trying)?
- Will this moment affect my next life?
- Are my expectations and beliefs realistic?
- If a friend of mine were in my position, what would I advise you?
Learn to deal with your fear by taking deep breaths. Taking several deep breaths in and out can be very effective and will help control your nervousness. It also makes your heart beat slower. If possible, try placing one hand on your abdomen and breathing deeply so that only the hand on your abdomen moves and your chest stays the same.
- This is called "belly breathing". Taking deep breaths can help relax you and reduce your nervousness.
Practice meditation and mindfulness. We often feel anxiety and thrill when we feel out of control. If you are facing a stressful situation, take a few minutes to meditate or use written therapy before entering the situation. This way, you will be calmer so you can get started.
- If you have persistent disturbing thoughts that lead to anxiety, you may feel out of control. Meditation and mindfulness will help you perceive the thought and forget it.
Write down what is frightening or nervous. Ask yourself where these fear assessment questions come from. This will help you keep track of your thoughts and fears, determine your pattern, think about your fear differently, and keep it out of your mind.
- If you can't do it at the time, write it down later. It is important that you go through and get to the root of your fear.
Advice
- Practice continuously. The more you practice, the more you master it.
- Do something that is more confusing than what you really have to do. The more you get used to feeling embarrassed, the less you will feel truly embarrassed.
