Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Take it easy
• Method 2 of 4: Talk to your brother
• Method 3 of 4: Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Brother
• Method 4 of 4: Get Some Freedom From Your Brother
• Tips
• Warnings

If you have a younger brother, chances are good that more than one quarrel has already occurred between you. When siblings are in conflict, it is called child rivalry. Dealing with conflicts with younger siblings can be very depressing and exhausting. Fights between children in the same family are completely normal, but it is important to learn how to resolve conflicts on your own. With a little patience, you can build a friendship with your brother without unnecessary stress.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Take it easy

1. 1 Take a few deep breaths in and out. Take a moment to catch your breath and think about the problem rationally, not emotionally.
   • There is a great breathing exercise that will surely help you calm down. It's about the so-called "square breathing method." Inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for four counts, exhale again for a count of four, rest for four seconds, and then take two regular breaths. Repeat the exercise until you feel calmer.
   • If your emotions are pushed to the limit, chances are high that you will only exacerbate the conflict.
2. 2 Provide yourself space. If necessary, find a secluded place and distance yourself from your brother. Go to another room and think about the problem.
   • Get some fresh air. Staying in the fresh air and in nature is a great way to cool down.Take time off from your parents and go outside for a walk.
3. 3 Get distracted. Take twenty minutes to do what you love. Listen to the music you like. or read a chapter from a book. If you digress from the problem for a while, then returning to the discussion of the topic, you can see what is happening more clearly.
4. 4 Describe your feelings. Take a notebook and take twenty minutes to describe the problem. Express all your worries and frustrations on paper. This will help you gain clarity and the ability to think positively faster.
5. 5 Put yourself in your brother's shoes. Younger children often quarrel with their older siblings out of fear or jealousy. They often just get attention. Try to show empathy for your brother and think about what might have caused him to do this.
   • By understanding the root of the problem, you can better understand the whole of the problem. Your brother is not trying to irritate you or hurt you. Children often do not know how to express their overwhelming feelings.

Method 2 of 4: Talk to your brother

1. 1 Start a conversation. An open conversation is the best way to resolve any conflict.
   • Choose a quiet place and invite your brother to talk to you about the situation.
   • Engage in a positive conversation. If you are defensive or too upset, your brother will feel it.
2. 2 Tell your brother how you feel. If you are pissed off by his behavior, tell him about it. Your brother may not fully understand the consequences of his actions. Share your emotions honestly.
   • There is a good way to share your feelings - use I-statements for this. Build sentences on the principle: "I feel _____________ when you are ___________ because ___________." This will prevent your brother from feeling that he is being attacked.
3. 3 Learn to see when to ask for forgiveness. You may feel that you have done nothing wrong. But younger children are often very sensitive and helpless. Let your brother know that you are on his side and try to fix the problem by asking for forgiveness.
   • Sometimes pride must be put aside in order to resolve conflict, especially with someone younger than you.
4. 4 Listen to your brother. Younger children often feel that no one in the family listens to their feelings. Show your brother that you care and that you understand him. Demonstrate this by listening carefully to your little brother.

Method 3 of 4: Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Brother

1. 1 Show your love. Even if you quarreled with your brother, in the end you are still one family. Feeling loved and cared for will make him less likely to want to conflict with you. Tell him with your words and actions that you love him.
2. 2 Praise your brother for his accomplishments. When your brother gets good grades in school or is helping you, praise him. This will help you both build a supportive relationship.
3. 3 Plan a time with your brother. By spending time together, you can strengthen the relationship and help him feel your attention.
   • Plan regular outings with your brother. This is a good way to show that you love and support him. Taking time out to play can help your brother leave you alone when you need some privacy.
   • Offer to help with lessons or other projects. You may be setting an example for your brother and by helping him show that you are on his side.
4. 4 Lead by example. You are a role model for your brother. When choosing a model of behavior in a given situation, he will be guided by how you behave in similar moments.
   • If you get angry and attack your brother, he will treat you the same way. If you are kind and patient with him, he will learn from you kindness and patience.

Method 4 of 4: Get Some Freedom From Your Brother

1. 1 Ask your brother for space. While it is very important to have a good relationship with your brother, you also need personal space. Explain gently to your brother that you need personal time each day.
   • When asking for space, do it very gently. It can be difficult for your little brother to know that you love him and still want to spend some time without him.
2. 2 Ask your parents to provide you with privacy. Your parents may not realize that you have grown older and now need more privacy. Talk to them about what you need. Together, you can find a way to increase your distance with your brother and thereby avoid unnecessary conflicts with him.
3. 3 Find a way to get out of the house. Physical distance can help you feel more independent and have more time with your brother when you are at home.
   • Consider a variety of extracurricular activities. You may have painting lessons, sports or theater classes at your school or near your home. Ask teachers and parents where you can spend time away from home.
   • If you share a room with your brother, create a space for yourself in another part of the house. Start doing your homework in the kitchen or living room. You may not have a private room, but you can create space for yourself to study or read regularly, which will make you feel more independent in your home.
   • A great place to spend time without your family is the local library. Agree with your parents that you will spend some time there after school or on weekends.

Tips

• Involve parents in solving the problem. If the conflict gets out of hand and you feel that you are not coping with the situation, talk to an adult.
• Your brothers and sisters are your future friends. This may be hard to imagine now, but as you get older, your relationship will change. Many brothers and sisters admit that over time, all conflicts between them simply disappear.
• Be patient. Remember that your brother is younger than you and doesn't know how to express himself or deal with his emotions. Once upon a time you were his age and, perhaps, felt the same helplessness. Try to show empathy for his situation.
• Pretend that you don't care that he bullies you.
• Revenge is not recommended. Holding anger and seeking retaliation is unhealthy behavior that can affect both your mental health and your relationship with your brother. Your brother may be bored simply by being bored or suffering from something, so it's best to show compassion.

Warnings

• If you feel that it is unsafe for you to interact with your brother or that he physically injures you, tell an adult right away.
• Never use violence. This is dangerous and can only make the problem worse.
• Never start screaming. So your quarrel will only drag on.