Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Part 1: Abstract
• Method 2 of 3: Part 2: Take a Break
• Method 3 of 3: Part 3: Come Back

When faced with a stressful situation, it can be difficult to maintain your composure and stay calm. The next time you feel yourself losing your temper or losing your temper, abstract yourself for a few seconds and distract yourself with something before returning to the problem.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Part 1: Abstract

1. 1 Resist the urge to take it personally. In many stressful situations, you can take the insult personally when it really isn't. Personal insults are much more difficult to handle than other people's difficulties, so treat the situation as impersonal as possible - it will help you maintain your composure.
   • Reassure yourself that each person has their own views and that they may be different from yours. Different views do not necessarily mean that it is an insult to you, even if decisions that you cannot control are made based on ideas that are different from yours.
   • Even if the person tries to insult you, it will still benefit you if you can look at the insult from an impersonal point of view. You have no control over this person's beliefs and actions, but you can control your own and should not allow someone to manipulate you.
2. 2 Analyze your emotional outbursts. Think about when you reacted to something in a burst of emotion. Ask yourself if these emotional outbursts have ever improved a bad situation.
   • Think about some of the most common causes of emotional outbursts. For example, think of a hateful comment on a website or the guy who cut you off.
   • Think about how your emotional outbursts usually go. Think about frequent occurrences, not exceptions. Hysteria once or twice may have improved the situation. But, as a rule, reactions in an outburst of emotions only complicate the situation even more.
3. 3 Avoid making assumptions. When a person gets upset, it becomes easier to assume that those involved in the situation are behaving in the worst possible way, even if this is not confirmed. Often times, however, the behaviors and motives you might be tempted to assume are actually very different, so you will get agitated for no real reason.
   • In the same way, when one thing goes wrong, it is easy to assume that the rest will go wrong too. Such an assumption can only provoke trouble. You can create more problems simply by waiting for them.
   • For example, if you've just gone through a difficult breakup, you might assume that all of your mutual friends will turn against you after hearing your ex's version of the situation. Your panic can lead you to simply distance yourself from your friends and cause the problems you feared.
4. 4 Identify the true source of frustration. Ask yourself what really upset you. A certain situation may have caused the disorder, but it may not actually be related to the real problem. Only by identifying the true problem can you solve it.
   • For example, you might be upset with a task given by your boss at the last minute of your work day. The task itself may not be the source of your tension. You may be upset because this is the time you planned to spend with your loved one, or you may be disappointed because your boss regularly makes unfair demands on you this way.
5. 5 Express yourself in a safe way. By keeping stress and frustration within you, you succumb to constant anxiety, so you are unable to maintain your composure. Find a way to express your feelings that doesn't make the situation even more complicated.
   • One good way to express your feelings is to call a friend, relative, or trusted colleague and pour out your heart.
   • Another option is to write your grievances on a slip of paper or in an unsent letter. If you choose this option, it is a good idea to get rid of these complaints after you have written them down so that they do not cause you problems in the future.

Method 2 of 3: Part 2: Take a Break

1. 1 Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath and exhale several times. In fact, you can set aside 5 to 10 minutes and concentrate on focused deep breathing. Deep breathing can help you calm down physically, mentally, and emotionally.
   • When you panic, your breathing automatically becomes shallower and faster. Deliberately slowing down your breathing and taking deeper breaths can save you any panic altogether.
2. 2 Feel better physically. Physical stress can be superimposed on situational stress, and you will probably be overreacting to a problem situation. Take your mind away from situational stress and focus on dealing with physical stress for a few minutes.
   • If you only have a few minutes, improve your physical condition by standing up, stretching, walking around a table or room.
   • If you have more time, go outside for a walk, cycle or relax in a warm bath. Stretch the muscles that are petrified from lack of activity and relax the muscles that ache from over-activity.
3. 3 Take a break. Sometimes the best thing to do in a hectic situation is to simply take your mind off it. Spend some time doing what you love to take your mind off the problem you are facing. It can change your overall mood and help you approach the problem from a calmer perspective.
   • Even a short break is better than nothing. If you can only afford to step back for five minutes, step back for five minutes. If you can allocate more time, do so.
   • A good option is to switch completely. Step away from your computer, turn off your phone, go somewhere and do something that has nothing to do with the digital world. Technology is great, but it makes people so attached to it that it can be hard to get away from it unless you turn everything off.
   • If you can't get away, another option is to spend a few minutes on a site you like.
4. 4 Work on something productive. Spending too much time on unproductive activities can increase stress. If you still don't feel like you've regained your composure after a short break, spend a longer period of time working on something that isn't stressful, but still productive.
   • It will be especially good if you find something that you just wanted to do, but kept putting it off. Clean up your files. Tidy up your bedroom or office. Finish the book you started reading but never finished.
5. 5 Switch to a state of gratitude. It may sound strange, but thinking about the things you are grateful for can lift your spirits. The key is to be able to focus on real sources of gratitude without feeling guilty for not having anything to thank for due to other difficulties.
   • You may become even more stressed by criticizing yourself for feeling ungrateful or trying to tell yourself that you shouldn't feel unhappy just because others are worse off than you.
   • Instead of telling yourself that you are must feel grateful, just be grateful. Identify what you are grateful for in life - people, animals, home, etc. Focus on these sources of happiness for a few minutes.

Method 3 of 3: Part 3: Come Back

1. 1 Look for a goal. Everything in the world happens with a purpose. When you return to the source of stress, think about the purpose for which this is happening in your life. If that goal matters, then tackle the solution. If the goal is not important, leave this question completely.
   • Also consider the overall purpose of the situation when analyzing the source of the stress.
   • For example, the stressor might be something your partner did, and the situation is a specific project that you have to work on together. If discussing the issue with a colleague does not help you achieve the project goals, then it is better to omit the problem. If the problem is important and needs to be addressed, you must find a way to do it constructively.
2. 2 Think about the possibilities. Instead of thinking about all the bad consequences that came with this turn of events, think about all the possible good consequences that could arise. Think of your current difficulties as opportunities.
   • For example, if you've just lost your job, your first reaction is likely to be fear about the future. But now may be a good time to reflect on the complaints that have arisen about your job and to consider the fact that you will no longer have to deal with these issues.
   • If you've lost your job, now is the time to consider what you want to do when you are no longer constrained by your old job.
3. 3 Think about the future. More specifically, think about how you will look at this incident in the future. Things that threaten a person's peace of mind are often quite short-lived. Looking at the problem in this light makes it easier for you to devote less energy to worrying about your problem.
   • If you find it difficult to imagine yourself 5 or 10 years from now, think about yourself 5 or 10 years ago. Think about the sources of stress that bothered you then. As a rule, you will be able to see that things that seemed so big problems then no longer seem so important to you now.
4. 4 Look at the situation objectively. Ask yourself how an innocent person would view the problem, or how you would take the situation if it happened to someone else. Be honest and use your findings to control your reactions.
   • Also ask yourself how someone you admire would behave in a similar situation. By thinking about how your idol would react, you can control your own reactions and create yourself the way you want to be.
5. 5 Go forward. Once you've managed to regain your composure and sort out your feelings, the next thing to do is move forward. This could mean trying to fix the problem, or getting away from the problem entirely.
   • When you start taking action, focus only on what you can control: your schedule, your actions, and your interactions. Do not get hung up on what you wantedto make it happen.
   • Look for practical solutions. Ask for an extension. Seek professional help if you are struggling with a difficult relationship or addiction.