Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

Note that mothers can be violent too; if so, use the guidelines in this article to forgive that mother or both parents. When you experience forgiveness, you will experience a tremendous sense of relief. However, do not use these methods if your parents are still physically or emotionally abusing you at this point. Don't let them continue to be cruel to you; suppressing resentment and pain destroys as much as the violence itself. Necessarily use these methods if the violence has stopped and you are seeking to resolve the situation and restore inner peace.

Steps

1. 1 Accept him / her with all their weaknesses and realize that at some time in their life they also experienced violence against themselves. Perhaps they took it as the norm, and now they live, trying to do what is best for themselves and for their children. Perhaps you have already thought that you will love your children and wish them a better fate. Although they are not yet in this world. Some parents treat their children based on how they were treated as children. Perhaps, where they grew up, there were no good examples, and no one showed special affection and affection for them. And so they are realizing these memories in their own lives. They have not learned to forgive, forget and correct their behavior in relation to what they were once taught.
2. 2 Remember pleasant moments. During their lives, most parents do not behave violently towards their children all the time. Most likely, they stop holding back when their emotions and minds are in a state of chaos and anxiety. Try to remember at least one pleasant moment when they treated you and behaved well with you. It's easy to forgive as a child. In the end, it was they who gave you life, and in return - "I love mom" or "I love dad." Whenever you think about your parents' abuse, switch to those pleasant moments and try to be aware of your present. After all, you have already overcome all of this.
3. 3 Realize your own pain and guilt and stop suppressing them. Ask yourself where this pain is leading you and why you still have it inside you. It is important to understand that it is humanly perfectly normal for these deeply hidden memories to remind of themselves from time to time. Do relaxation exercises every day and spend a few minutes in peace and quiet. Allow yourself to experience your feelings, then let them go and congratulate yourself on the way YOU have made your life. Even if we are talking about one simple determination - to survive at all costs.
4. 4 Remember that we are all just aliens on this earth. Life is short, and there is no point in wasting it on eternal discontent. And your new self will envelop the wall of protection built over the years. Everything will pass and the best thing you can do is appreciate every moment. Don't let old troubles ruin your whole life. Fight for your future.
5. 5 Work on yourself. Cultivate strength and a new personality whenever memories come. Concentrate on what you can do to improve your life and the lives of those you care about. Become an example to others. If you ask yourself: "but how?", Just start living in the present and realize that life can be changed, you can fill it with joy and a healthy environment. The renewal can come to you like a breath of a light sea breeze.
6. 6 In order for something to change, you need to change yourself. In order for you to be able to forgive someone, you need to forgive yourself and let go of all guilt and inner anger.Forgiveness has the power to find oneself and freedom from the abuser. Forgive yourself and leave no blame for yourself.
7. 7 Question everything that abusive parents have taught you, especially when it comes to the belief that something was wrong with you. Many rapists distort the lives of their children, and this leaves a much deeper mark than the violence itself. But now you want to find a way of forgiveness and live in that forgiveness. Yes, the thought itself can be intimidating ... But take a look at the examples and thinking of happy people, watch them smile, laugh, or simply remain calm. Run any advice about life through the filter of the question, “How happy is the person giving me this advice?” Apply it to yourself. The biggest destruction caused by violence is the emergence of a range of beliefs that are half-true and create negative perceptions of life and self-distrust. Beliefs such as "There is always hate next to love" will lead you to reproduce a similar situation with other people. Give them up and hold on. Go away. Recover your inner strength. Take a positive look at the world. Try this over and over.
8. 8 The hardest question to ask yourself: Am I following my parents' example? Do I treat people the same way? Ask it frankly to yourself, and if so, start looking for examples of people who grew up in an atmosphere of love and acceptance, notice how they behave in similar situations. It is quite possible to educate a person capable of living a happy life. It takes effort, but the results will be amazing, often much better than you might imagine.
9. 9 If you have experienced this violence for a long time, but suddenly began to react painfully to it again, analyze your current situation. Consider whether the history of the past is repeating itself in any area of ​​your life. A boss, partner, friend or some other circumstance can act as provocateurs. Sometimes it's just a warning sign in an ongoing relationship. In other cases, the situation may be much milder, but the experience of violence sets you up to expect the worst. If you understand that there is a difference between what was then and what you have now, ask for help from outsiders who have more positive life experiences.
10. 10 Cultivate healthy confidence and begin to forgive. It essentially means 'forget' about your past misfortunes, leaving them only as memories. Control the provocative factors, acquire a taste of victory by leaving them unresponsive, and use your inner strength to fully regain this 'new control'.

Tips

• Write about it, talk about it more often. The pain that dwells in you rages like a demon. Or like a child who no one pays attention to, hiding in fear in a corner. It needs to be expressed. However, do not allow yourself to become immersed in the feeling that you are worthless. Listen to your pain. The more often you do this, the less often you will be haunted by feelings of unloved. Keep trying, keep going forward. It will take time, but eventually the pain will go away.
• Remember that by continuing to be angry with your parents, you will only hurt one person ... YOU! They sleep peacefully at night, and you suffer from insomnia from anger and depression.
• You need to stick to your decision. If you're still on bad terms with your parents, any fight can revive old feelings of rejection and resentment. Don't let this happen, or you won't get very far in this relationship.
• Sometimes contact with this or another (non-abusive) parent helps. You all need love and understanding for each other. However, if the abuse continues, stop all contact until you regain your inner peace and strength.

Warnings

• Do not use these tips if the abuse continues.Use them only if you are in an emotionally and physically safe place and your parents cannot harm you.
• Forgiving your parents does not mean ignoring the fact that they have been violent towards you. Know that what they have done is bad, and forgive them for your own sake and yours alone.
• Be careful not to continue the cycle of violence. If you don't know what it means to be a loving parent, seek help in learning to be the best father or mother. Such classes are offered at counseling centers or parenting courses.
• If you find that you are repeating the same behavior, take a break. Recognize that you need to take a break and come back to dealing with the situation later.