Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Show Caring Action
• Part 2 of 4: Show Caring Words
• Part 3 of 4: What not to do or say
• Part 4 of 4: Understanding Chronic Illness
• Tips

If someone from your relatives or friends is sick, it can be hard for you to see his suffering and realize your powerlessness to help the sick person in any way. However, you can show concern and support for your friend in times of need.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Show Caring Action

1. 1 See the patient. If your loved one or friend is in the hospital or cannot leave the house, your presence is most important to them. You can distract him from obsessive thoughts about the disease and create a more or less normal environment during this difficult time for him.
   • Think about what you can do during your visits. If your friend enjoys playing cards or board games, you can bring them along. If you have children, you may want to leave them at home, but you can ask them to draw something to cheer up the sick person.
   • Do not forget to call in advance and choose a suitable time for your visit. Often, patients are prescribed routine procedures, and the hospital regimen usually includes designated times for medication, daytime and nighttime sleep, and visits.
2. 2 Communicate with the sick person as your friend. Often, chronically and terminally ill people, literally everything on a daily basis reminds of their illness. Such a person wants to see signs that he is treated the same way as before, he is loved and cared for. Treat him as if he were not sick.
   • Maintain regular contact. Long-term illness can be a real test of friendship, and in order to withstand this test with honor, it is necessary to maintain constant contact with the patient. Those who are in the hospital or bedridden at home are often “out of sight” and forgotten, so mark appropriate days for visits and contacts on your calendar.
   • Help the person to do what they liked before. If your friend has a long-term or incurable illness, it is imperative that he still find some joy in life. Offer to do something he likes.
   • Don't be afraid to joke or make plans for the future! This is the very person you know and love.
3. 3 Support the sick person and their family. If your friend has a family or at least pets, he may experience additional stress due to the fact that due to illness, he cannot take care of those who depend on him. There are powerful ways you can support his family during this difficult time:
   • Prepare food for them. This is a traditional and proven way to support someone who is sick. Regardless of whether the sick person can share your meals, homemade food for family members will ease his anxiety and he will know that his children, spouse, or other household members are not left without help and care.
   • Help the person with family planning. If your friend has young children, elderly parents, or other dependent people, ask how you can help them during their illness.For example, you may need to visit his father, walk the dog, take the children to school and pick them up after school, or take them to the sports section. Illness can sometimes make planning and mindfulness more difficult - this way you can help your friend.
   • Clean up the sick home. Some people find it frustrating to trust someone else, so ask the patient for permission first. If your friend has nothing against it, invite him once a week (you can more or less often, depending on your employment) to come to his house and do the cleaning there. You can do individual chores that you do particularly well in the house, such as mowing the lawn, doing laundry, or shopping for groceries, or ask a friend what you need first.
   • Find out what exactly the patient needs and fulfill his requests. Many people say “let me know if you need any help,” but most people are too humble to ask for anything. Instead of waiting for requests from the patient, call yourself and ask what he needs. Say you are going to the grocery store and could buy groceries for him, or ask if you need help around the house this weekend. Ask specific questions and be sincere in your desire to help. And of course, be sure to do what you're asked to do!
4. 4 Send flowers or a basket of fruits to the sick person. If you are unable to visit a friend, at least show courtesies so that he knows that you remember him.
   • Keep in mind that illness can exacerbate sensitivity to strong odors (for example, a bouquet of flowers may not be a good choice if a cancer patient is undergoing chemotherapy), so sometimes it is worth considering other things, such as your favorite chocolate, teddy bear, or balloons.
   • Gifts and souvenirs can be ordered with delivery at the appropriate store, so if your friend is in the hospital, consider sending him a bouquet or balloons. Call the front desk or admissions office in advance to see if this is allowed.
   • Talk to other friends or coworkers about purchasing a more valuable souvenir or bouquet.
5. 5 Be yourself. You have your own personality, and you do not need to pretend to be anyone else or pretend that you are omnipotent and know the answers to all questions. Just be yourself.
   • Don't pretend you know the answers to difficult questions. Sometimes, even if you know the answer, it’s better to remain silent. At the same time, behave naturally: it may seem like a rather daunting task, but if you start to feel noticeably nervous and carefully choose your words in the presence of the patient, awkwardness can arise between you. Laugh and joke if you usually do this.
   • Be pleasant to talk to. Do your best to be supportive and positive. You need to cheer your friend up, cheer him up and distract him from negative thoughts and fears. Even bright clothes will help you brighten up his day a little!
6. 6 Make the patient feel like others need him. Sometimes asking for advice or a little favor can help people with a long-term or incurable illness feel that they are needed, and this gives them additional strength to fight the illness.
   • In many diseases, patients retain clarity of thought, and being involved in the worries and problems of other people helps them to distract from their own gloomy thoughts.
   • Think about what your friend is good at, and ask him questions from that area. For example, if your friend is into gardening and you are planning to plant new plants, ask him where to start and what kind of mulch to use.

Part 2 of 4: Show Caring Words

1. 1 Chat with your friend. Learn to be a good listener and let your friend know that you have come for him so that he can talk about his condition or anything else that is taking his mind at the present time. Be that as it may, being able to speak out is very important for those who are sick.
   • Be honest with the patient if you are unsure of what to answer. Often the illness makes people difficult to communicate, and this is quite normal. You need to show that you do not forget about your friend and are ready to help him. Tell the patient that you are with him, no matter what happens.
2. 2 Send a postcard or call. If you can't visit a friend, send a postcard or call him. Of course, it is easier to send a text message or write on social networks, but it is better to send a regular postcard or call by phone - this way you show more attention and care, and the person will definitely appreciate it.
   • Consider writing a caring letter. This option is especially good if you are one of those people who are lost and do not know what to talk about with others when they are in a difficult situation. You can write a letter, and after a while re-read it and make corrections if you think that it does not fully express your feelings. In doing so, focus on good wishes, prayers for recovery, and good news that is not related to illness.
3. 3 Ask questions. You should respect your friend's privacy, but at the same time, if he does not mind, ask him more about the current situation - this way you will learn more about his problems and how you can help him.
   • While you can search the internet for information about the condition, direct communication can help you learn how the illness affected your friend's condition and how they feel after their experience.
4. 4 Talk to the sick person's children. If your friend has children, they probably feel abandoned and alone. Depending on the severity of the illness, they may experience fear, irritation, or anxiety. They need someone to talk to, and if they know you well and trust you, you can act as a mentor and senior friend and support them in this difficult moment.
   • Take the kids for a walk, treat them to ice cream and chat with them. Don't force them to talk about anything that would embarrass them. Some children need only the support of adults, while others are ready to pour out their hearts. Be open and walk with them every few days or weeks, depending on how close you live.

Part 3 of 4: What not to do or say

1. 1 Be careful and try not to make mistakes. There are many common clichés that people use when their loved ones are in dire straits, and often this standard response is perceived as insincere and negative. For example, you should not say the following:
   • "God only sends trials that we can handle," or worse, "This is the will of God." Believers sometimes use this phrase, and they sincerely believe that this is true, but such words can sound too cruel to a sick person, especially if he is in a very difficult situation. In addition, the patient may not believe in God.
   • "I know what you feel". Sometimes people say these words to those who are going through difficult times, and although they may be true, it is impossible to know exactly how the other person is feeling. This phrase sounds even worse if it is uttered by someone who has not had a chance to experience what his interlocutor faced. For example, if someone has lost a limb, you should not compare their position with the situation when you broke your arm. These are completely different things. However, if you have encountered similar problems, you can talk about them and say "I went through something similar."
   • "Everything will be fine".This common phrase is used by those who do not know what to say, and it is often pronounced as a wish, and not a statement of fact. You don't really know how it will end, and in many cases, long-term or incurable illnesses DO NOT end well. A person may soon die or suffer for the rest of his life. This phrase belittles what he endured.
   • "At least...". Don't belittle the person's suffering or claim that they should be grateful that things didn't turn out worse.
2. 2 Don't complain about your own health problems. Little things like headaches or colds should not be discussed in particular.
   • The recommendations given may vary depending on your relationship with the sick person and the duration of the illness. If you are in a very close and trusting relationship, or if the illness has been going on for a long time, it is possible that you will want to discuss what you have been through.
3. 3 Don't let the fear of doing the wrong thing keep you from taking action. Yes, when dealing with a sick person, you need to be sensitive, but this does not mean at all that you should sit back and be afraid to take at least something. It's better to make a mistake and then apologize than to leave your friend to the mercy of fate.
   • If you have been tactless, just say, “I myself do not know why I said this. I just didn't know what to say. It's too hard for me. ” Your friend will understand you.
4. 4 Be gentle. Watch your friend's reactions to determine if you are visiting too often and if you are delaying your visits. Severely ill people find it difficult to maintain a long conversation, but they are often embarrassed to say so.
   • If the patient is distracted and tries to watch TV or look at his phone, or is visibly struggling with sleep, this may mean that your visit has been delayed. Don't take it personally! Just remember that the patient is hard, both physically and mentally, so give him a rest.
   • Be mindful of the time and make sure that your visits do not interfere with meals and the like when the patient needs to be alone. If you plan to visit a friend during a meal, ask him if he would like to bring him any food and if he would like you to cook something.

Part 4 of 4: Understanding Chronic Illness

1. 1 Be aware of your friend's disabilities. Find out more about their condition and the treatment they are prescribed so that you can be prepared for possible side effects, changes in behavior and character.
   • Ask a friend about his illness, if he is willing to talk about it, or find relevant information on the Internet.
   • Observe external signs to understand how the person is feeling and how the illness affects their behavior, concentration, and emotional response. Be sensitive and be aware that his behavior and character may change. Remember that he has had a hard time.
2. 2 Consider possible mood changes. Progressive, chronic and incurable diseases very often cause depression and other problems. In addition, the drugs taken by the patient can affect mood.
   • If your friend is struggling with depressive thoughts, remind him that the illness is not his fault, and no matter what happens, he can count on your support and help.
3. 3 Show empathy. Try to put yourself in the patient's shoes. You can also get sick with something like this, and you need the compassion and help of others. Remember the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.
   • If you were sick with the same, what would support you? How would you feel? What kind of help from friends would you need?
   • Putting yourself in the other person's shoes will help you understand what kind of help they need.

Tips

• If your friend has a dangerous contagious disease, take precautions not to get infected: use a gauze bandage and do not get too close to him. To minimize the risk of infection, you can also communicate with the patient via video chat or by phone.