Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to Choose an Action Plan
• Method 2 of 3: Talking to a Relative
• Method 3 of 3: How to deal with different situations

Weddings, birthdays, retirement, graduation, holidays, and other special occasions should be fun, not scary. An annoying guest can become a threat to the holiday due to inappropriate actions and scandals. If you are concerned about the possible behavior of some relatives, you can cancel invitations for such people, but before that you should consider the possible consequences of your decision. Then get ready to have a sincere conversation with such relatives. Consider your actions in case of different scenarios.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to Choose an Action Plan

1. 1 It should be understood that you may be considered "bad". If you decide to cancel a previously sent invitation, it is important to understand that by doing this you can turn both this person and other guests against yourself. In general, good manners do not allow canceling previously sent invitations.
   • Your decision can offend the person and aggravate your relationship with him and others.
2. 2 Weigh the pros and cons. Due to the possible negative consequences of a canceled invitation for a relative, you should carefully consider your motives. What has this person done to deserve your refusal of hospitality?
   • There was a fight between you, why did you decide to cancel your invitation out of emotion? There was an incident that made you question the appropriateness of this person's behavior?
   • List the advantages and disadvantages of not inviting a relative. In the first column, you can indicate “avoid quarrels due to alcohol problems”. In the second column, write down “possible scandal due to cancellation of the invitation”. Analyze the list to make the right decision.
   • It is not always possible to cancel your invitation. In some cases, it is best to leave things as they are.
3. 3 Seek advice. This is a tricky decision that should be carefully considered. It is sometimes helpful to discuss the problem with a close family member or trusted friend. Ask the person for their opinion.
   • Say, “I'm seriously thinking about canceling an invitation for Larisa to a barbecue. I heard that she made a terrible scandal at a meeting with the Petrovs last weekend. I would not like a replay of events at my party. What do you think?"
4. 4 Consider alternatives. Before canceling an invitation, you should consider some less drastic solutions to the problem.
   • For example, if your relative has poor control over his behavior after alcohol, then you can limit his access to alcohol or completely refuse alcoholic beverages at a party.
   • If two relatives hate each other, then invite both and make it so that they hardly intersect. Have them sit down further away from each other and choose someone to watch over them.
   • If one of your relatives speaks a lot, tells inappropriate jokes, or is prone to scandals, then ask him to monitor his behavior. For example, say: “Listen, Kostya, I know that you like to put in a strong word in a conversation, but there will be people at the event with conservative views who do not accept swearing. Would you mind keeping track of your words? I would not at all want to refuse you an invitation. "

Method 2 of 3: Talking to a Relative

1. 1 It is advisable to discuss the situation face to face. If you decide to cancel the invitation, you need to do it tactfully. The most courteous option is in person. Arrange to meet with him in private.
   • You can talk over lunch or over a cup of coffee. Say: “Uncle Ruslan, why don't you and I go to a cafe on Tuesday. I want to discuss something. " It is better to meet in a crowded place to reduce the likelihood of a scandal.
   • If your annoying relative lives outside the city, you can talk to him on the phone. No need to cancel invitations via email or social media. This is a tricky conversation, but it is important to act like an adult in order to try to maintain your relationship with your relative.
2. 2 Be honest about your motives. Prepare for the conversation in advance. Reconsider the pros and cons. Think over the course of the conversation and rehearse the conversation before the meeting. When speaking, try to express your thoughts politely but decisively. Don't use long phrases. State your reasons clearly and concisely.
   • You might say, “Thank you for agreeing to meet. It is difficult for me to tell you about this, but I am sure that I made the right decision. Since you and dad are on bad terms, it seems to me that you better not come to the wedding. The groom and I really want the wedding to be quiet and peaceful, and you and your father cannot even be in the same room without a scandal. I hope that you will understand me ”.
   • Perhaps the person will understand you if he has already got into trouble because of his behavior or different stories happen to him.
3. 3 Do not apologize. The words “I'm sorry” show that you have made the wrong decision and are taking responsibility for the relative's misbehavior. You don't need to feel embarrassed if you canceled an invitation because of a person's bad behavior. Your concern is the good mood of other guests, not the behavior of other adults. If a relative is capable of ruining the holiday, then don't blame yourself for the refusal.
   • Instead of saying "I'm sorry," it's better to say, "I wouldn't want to hurt you." This will show that you were guided by good intentions and will not give up on the decision you made.
4. 4 Remain calm if the reaction is negative. It is possible that the relative will not react to the situation in the best way. Canceling an invitation may be considered humiliating, so put yourself in that person's shoes. Don't take his words to heart. Remain calm and friendly.
   • Say, "I understand that you are upset. I didn't want to hurt you, but this solution will be the best for everyone."

Method 3 of 3: How to deal with different situations

1. 1 Explain that the guest list is limited. It happens that guests are invited by mistake. You may have accidentally chosen a person's name when setting up a Facebook event. Perhaps you discussed the event in the presence of a person, and he decided that you extinguished him. In any situation, you can find an excuse for your decision.
   • Say: “Yana, I accidentally clicked on your name while setting up an event. I would gladly invite you, but we cannot accept more than 15 people. It’s a pity that it happened. ”
2. 2 Apologize for the person who spoke on your behalf. If a relative is invited without your permission, then apologize for the misunderstanding. Say: “Listen, Denis. Roma told me he invited you to a party. He shouldn't have done this. We have a very limited number of guests. I'm sorry it happened. ”
   • It is even better if the person through whose fault everything happened will sort out the situation. Say, “I recently saw Regina and she is sure she was invited to the party. She likes to drink too much, so I'm afraid of scandals. Could you tell her that she was not invited? "
3. 3 Be decisive with those who come uninvited. Some relatives think that they are automatically invited to any of your events. They may not have received formal invitations, but they are about to come. Talk to them gently.
   • For example, you've heard that your cousin is considering an outfit for your bachelorette party. You should say, “Ah, Karina, I didn't know you were going to come. This party is for colleagues only. I will be glad to meet you at any other time. "
4. 4 Be aware that other guests may be boycotting. In the worst case, the rest of the guests will refuse to come out of solidarity with the person they decided not to invite. If their presence is very important to you, then try to convince people to come, but do not let other people impose their decisions on you.
   • Remain firm, even if some disagree with you.