How to Determine Why Others Are Treating You

Author: John Stephens
Date Of Creation: 2 January 2021
Update Date: 29 June 2024
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Teach People How you Want to be Treated! | Stephanie Lyn Coaching
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Content

Have you ever wondered, "Why do others treat me like that?". If someone (a stranger, a friend, or a relative) treats you badly, you probably want to know the cause.You will find out by observing their behavior and consulting others. The next thing is to talk openly with the person about why they are treating you badly. Finally, learn to set healthy boundaries with people who don't respect you.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Assess the behavior of the person who treats you badly

  1. Make a list of what causes them to be dissatisfied. To know why someone is mistreating you, you need to be clear about what is going on. This is when you reflect on their behavior towards you. Which of their behavior makes you uncomfortable? Try to be specific and specific in their behavior.
    • Write down the unusual things you notice about their behavior. For example, they don't show interest when you talk to them. You should write down exactly what happened.

  2. Put yourself in the person's shoes. Try to think of a good reason for their behavior. Of course you can't read other people's minds, but you can imagine the same thing happening to you and identify the factors that caused them to act like this.
    • For example, maybe they get bad news at school and when you come to talk, they show a lack of affections. That bad news may be the reason they behave inappropriately, not because of you.
    • Another example is you accidentally kicking a friend out of the game. Because they are left out, they are unhappy and angry with you. Recognizing your mistake and apologizing can help you fix it.
    • However, you shouldn't take your feelings lightly when doing this. Even if you understand the cause, you won't have to forgive or compromise if your actions hurt you.

  3. Observe how they treat others. To better understand their behavior, observe how they interact with others. Find similarities and contrasts with how they treat you. If they treat other people just as badly as you do, it's probably not your problem. If the way they treat others around you is different from you, it may seem that they deliberately treated you badly.

  4. Consult with others. Maybe you are a bit sensitive to the unfriendly behavior of people, so consulting with a few people will give you a more objective view. Talk to people you are familiar with and see what they think.
    • You might ask, “I noticed that recently, Xuan has been a bit mean. Do you see that? ”
  5. Consider ignoring this. With information gained from observing and consulting many people, you will decide what you should do next. If you think the person is acting like this because he or she has a personal problem, it's probably better to just ignore the behavior and hope things will improve soon.
    • However, if you can't find a good reason or if you suspect that they were being treated poorly on purpose, talk to them directly.
    • Determine if the person is important enough for you to be willing to let go of the issue.
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Part 2 of 3: Talk to them about what's going on

  1. Take the initiative to have a private conversation with the person. If you decide to reach out to the person to talk about what's going on, choose a very personal time. When the conversation takes place in the presence of other people, things get worse and it will be difficult to have a goodwill conversation.
    • You can say "Man, can I talk to you for a bit?"
  2. Describe the behavior you are witnessing and how you felt about it. When it is only you and the person left, state what you see in their behavior. The next thing is to play out how you feel when you see what is happening.
    • You should say what you are experiencing, such as "All week, I noticed that every time I greet you, you don't say anything."
    • Next, describe how you felt about the action by saying, "I feel hurt when I'm ignored."
  3. Ask them to explain. After describing the person's behavior, you can ask them to explain why the person acted.
    • Try the suggestion by saying, "Can you explain why you're acting like this?"
    • However, they may not acknowledge their behavior or refuse to explain. Some people even blame you.
  4. Set your boundaries. You can't control how others treat you, but you can let them know how you want to be treated. Do this by setting healthy boundaries. If someone treats you badly, it will be easy to identify which boundaries have been broken. Now just let them know not to do it again.
    • For example, with the above example, you could say "If you keep ignoring me, I won't say hello."
    • Another example involves your reaction to being offended. Your boundary will be expressed by saying “Don't call me that name anymore. If you don't stop, I will notify the teacher ”.
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Part 3 of 3: Get the treatment you deserve

  1. Do not accept bad treatment. Don't feel guilty when you go up against bad behavior and set boundaries. You deserve to be respected and you are the one to decide it. When anyone treats you badly, discuss it with them and state how you want to be treated.
  2. Keep your distance from the person. If someone continues to treat you badly, stop seeing them and terminate the relationship. This is a way of saying that you do not accept their behavior and you will not tolerate it.
    • If they ask you why you ended the relationship, simply say, "I do it to protect myself because you don't treat me the way my lips would like."
  3. Let others know how you would like to be treated. How you treat yourself also tells others how you want to be treated. Let acquaintances, friends, and loved ones know the treatment you want to receive by setting standards for yourself.
    • For example, don't look down on or say negative things about yourself in front of others. Walk and act confidently, with your head up and your chest upright.
    • You can also let others know how they should treat you by making a clear request (“I really need to talk to someone”) or by giving support for being treated properly. ("Thank you for respecting my privacy").
  4. Respect others. Use kindness and kindness to model the kind of treatment you would like to receive from others. Speak easily and positively when communicating with others instead of looking down on or slander. Respect others and they will respect you. advertisement