Author:
Randy Alexander
Date Of Creation:
25 April 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Maybe you're just a teenage girl with a boyfriend for the first time, or even though you're a little older, it's always been difficult to announce your partner's love, especially if your parents are. you fastidious. Or maybe you are a boy but don't know how to tell your parents that you are gay. Either way, confessing to your parents that you have a boyfriend is worrying, but if you approach the topic appropriately, they may be more than willing to accept the news. If all goes well, they may even be happy for you. Here are tips to help you get through this task as smoothly as possible.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Disclosure of news
Practice speaking or writing. If you are afraid of not being able to speak because you are too confused, you can completely write down what you intend to say, then practice speaking in front of the mirror. That way, when the stressful moment comes, you can bring up the issue without stopping.
- When you write down what you want to say, you can try to guess what your parents react to. That way, you can respond to their concerns when it comes to your boyfriend.
Practice. It is normal to feel anxious when telling parents about a new relationship. Practicing in advance will make everything easier. Ask a friend or a relative who understands the story to help you practice.- You can also try doing it in front of the mirror.
- Ask for help from someone trustworthy, someone who probably won't give out information before you're ready. For example, choose a cousin that you are close to over a sibling, as they may feel they need to tell their parents right away.
Think about who to tell first. Maybe you feel closer to your mom or dad, or maybe one of you is more inclined to sympathize. Often times sharing the news with the easier person will pave the way for you to talk to the other person.- For example, if you are dad's "drinking daughter", meaning you can persuade him easily, then you should start talking to him first. Conversely, if your father tends to be overprotective, then talk to her first.
- This approach is especially helpful if you are a teenage girl having a boyfriend for the first time.
- On the other hand, if you think that both parents are receiving the same information, try to muster up the courage to tell both of them at once.
Choose the right time. Don't talk to your parents when they're busy, or when they're not in a good mood. If you want, you can ask them when it is appropriate to talk. Try to choose a time when the whole family is at ease, and your parents won't be stressed or distracted by anything.- However, you should not take advantage of the reason to choose an appropriate time to continuously delay information disclosure. Eventually you have to say it, so it's better not to procrastinate.
Determine your feelings. You are hesitant to let your parents know for a reason. Do you think your parents will get angry because you are dating? Maybe you think they don't approve of the person you know, or you simply want to keep your privacy private. Your feelings are important, as you can use it in conversation.
- For example, if you think your parents don't think you're ready for a date, you can say, "Mom, I have something to say. I'm a little shy to say I have a boyfriend, because I think you daddy. I still consider you young. "
End the problem quickly. After you sit down, you just need to speak up quickly, not in a roundabout manner. However, you should find your opening words to alleviate the problem. For example, say, "I love you so much and I don't want to make them angry. And I also want to be honest about my life. I want to announce the boyfriend that I started dating. ".
Tell why you feel ready for a date. If you want to convince your parents about this issue, you must state why you think you are old enough to date. For example, you think you are old enough to have a boyfriend because you were in high school, and most of your age friends are allowed to date. Be reasonable and don't get angry if your parents don't agree.
- Maybe your parents don't accept the excuse "Everyone else is!". However, you can take statistics from the internet on the average age at which people start dating, and give examples of how much they have grown over the past year.
Willingness to negotiate. If your parents disagree and you want to persuade them to give you permission, be willing to negotiate. You might suggest that you only see your boyfriend at school or only see him when you are with other friends in your group. Your parents just want to protect you, so you have to be willing to sacrifice part of your freedom.
- Listen to what your parents say and think if their concerns are justified. Although they can be confusing at times, keep in mind that they are older than you and have more experience. They may see alarming signs or worrying problems that you have never experienced. If they are concerned, watch for signs that they may be right.
Talk about boyfriend. Tell your parents about your boyfriend. Tell them about his family and what you like about that person. Highlight your boyfriend's good qualities so they can visualize him or her. It is also good to show them his picture.
- Your parents will probably ask a lot of questions. You should answer all questions honestly and fully to reassure them about the relationship. If you try to hide or lie about something, they will become suspicious and anxious.
- If your boyfriend has a good relationship with his family then you should let your parents know. This feature is a big plus for parents because it shows that your boyfriend respects others, so he will also respect the bonds in the family.
Don't try to hide. One of the most important things to do if you want your parents to accept your boyfriend is to tell them your story directly. If they learn about the relationship from someone else, they'll assume you're hiding it because you feel you're doing something wrong.
- You should let them know even if you are not planning to introduce your boyfriend to your family in the near future. The general rule of thumb is to admit you have a boyfriend as soon as possible. Avoiding talking will only make the problem even more difficult later, and increases the risk that your parents find out the story from someone else.
- As you grow older and have moved into your own home, you don't have to say every single boyfriend you know. Wait until there is a friend who really feels sure and serious, then officially inform everyone.
Method 2 of 4: Dealing with special situations
Don't mention the shortcomings. If you know something about your boyfriend that your parents would be bothering with, don't start a conversation about it. Instead, wait until the middle or the end of the talk and talk. For example, if he is many years older than you, delay disclosing this information until near the end of your talk.
Understand that your parents may be disappointed. If you are going against your parents' wishes, they will definitely be sad. All you have to do is deal with their anger and even tears, and make them understand your reasoning.
Please wait. Maybe your parents need a certain amount of time to get used to this information. If they get angry while you're talking and say "no", they may change their mind later when the anger is less. Either way, you have to respect the fact that you need to maintain a relationship with your parents, which means you can't put them on a bad list just because they disagree. advertisement
Method 3 of 4: Reveal to your parents that you are gay
Wait for the right moment. This will be a difficult conversation, especially if you are not sure how your parents will react.Better wait until you feel comfortable with this conversation. The problem is not easy if you are in doubt about your gender, as your parents often try to convince you that you are not gay.
- If you are hesitant about your gender, they will ask questions like "Are you sure?". It is okay to discuss your questions with your parents, but know that they will often ask you if you are sure of your feelings. If you are unsure then generally it is okay. Now maybe you have feelings for a guy, and decide to like women later. Sexual orientation can change over time.
Test before. Self-confessing homosexuality is difficult, so reveal it to someone who understands. For example, if you have a lesbian friend or know someone who is a gay advocate, talk to them about your sexual orientation before meeting your parents. The first confession is difficult, so try to talk it out to others first so that when you talk to your parents, it will be easier for you to speak up. Also, the person can give you advice if they're gay too. It is important that you fully trust them.
Presenting objective information. If you need to persuade your parents, you should try to give them objective information about homosexuality. There are many reliable sources of information on homosexuality, such as the Planned Parenthood's website on the gay and transgender communities.
- You should also prepare material for them to see or to address the website for them to refer to.
Give them time. Many parents need time to adjust to this new statement, since most expect their child to be a complete male or female, they now have to change how you think about who you are. Let your parents know they don't have to accept the truth right away.
- For example you could say, "I know this is very important information, and I understand that it takes time for you to adjust to this fact."
Knowing when that's not a good idea. If you are sure your parents will react very negatively because of their beliefs, you should rethink this revelation. That means, if you think your parents will kick you out of the house or act violently, it's best to wait until you can be independent.
- You should also not let them know if you are emotionally imbalanced, and know that they are going to be very rough.
- Be prepared to deal with your parents' negative reactions in advance. Plan where you will go if things get stressful and you can ask someone for emotional support.
- You can ask a non-profit center dedicated to supporting LGBTQ, such as The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/trvr_support_center/coming-out/#sm.00019zneyztt2eehw0y1c8qhs18yj.
Method 4 of 4: How to react when a parent disagrees
Listen to your parents' concerns. Love can blind us. Your parents may overreact to having a boyfriend, and on the contrary, they also have legitimate concerns that you should consider.
- Calmly and politely ask parents why they disagree. Perhaps one trait of him makes them worry, and that worry is also very sensible. Even if the reasons they give may seem unimportant, listening to your parents' doubts and concerns will help you understand what you need to do to convince them to accept the relationship.
Understand parental role. Good parents have a serious duty to protect their children, so it is only natural that they have difficulty accepting the fact that their child is an adult. You should have some sympathy for them.
- In addition to sympathy, you must also respect your parents. No matter how the conversation goes, treat them with respect. If you can politely speak out your disagreement, they will feel less sad and may even end up agreeing with you.
Determine whether to stay in a relationship with your boyfriend. Consider how deep your relationship with your boyfriend will be and how much will affect your feelings for your parents if you continue to date. Weigh the gains and losses of all parties to come to a conclusion about what to do. Yes, it is true that you love him, but all your life you have them as your parents.
Continue to persuade. If you're not willing to leave your boyfriend, keep talking about this topic with your parents. The more you try to persuade, the more you will understand each other. Maybe they will give in to you.
- You should also give your parents more opportunities to get to know your boyfriend. The more opportunities they have to meet each other, your parents' perception of him will gradually change. If he was a good guy they would find out eventually.
- It is also a good idea to have a nice meeting before you tell your parents about the relationship. For example, your boyfriend might attend a group meeting at your home with other team members. That way, your parents will probably get to know him better.
Discuss this with your boyfriend. If he is a good person, he will understand that gaining the support of his partner's parents is an important step in their relationship. Together, you must find a way to convince your parents to accept.
- If your parents have never met this boyfriend, he should introduce himself to them and see it as a way to reassure them.
- If your parent has clearly stated the reasons for not accepting the relationship, let him know and he may try to fix the flaws that worry your parents.
Ask his parents for help. Talk to your boyfriend's parents about your relationship and get their support. If they do, they'll be more than willing to talk to your parents to convince them.
- This step is especially helpful if you are still a teenage girl with a boyfriend for the first time. It is often difficult for adults to have a common voice with young people but understand each other more easily. So if they agree to reach out to your parents and protect their relationship, and assure them of their son, your parents can accept this new reassurance.
