Content

• Steps
• Advice

"Self-esteem" is the combination of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about ourselves. Because our thoughts, feelings and beliefs always change, our self-esteem is constantly changing. Low self-esteem can negatively impact your mental health, relationships, school and work life. However, there are several ways to help you feel good about yourself and boost your self-esteem.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Raise self-esteem

1. 

   Maturity in thinking and belief. Try to focus on positive, encouraging, and constructive thoughts. Don't forget that you are unique and unique, someone who deserves the love and respect of everyone and yourself. Try the following tactics:
   • Speak up with hopeful statements. Be optimistic and avoid the pessimistic self-fulfilling prophecy. The bad thing will usually show up if you wait for it. For example, if you plan to give your presentation poor, it probably works out that way. Instead, be optimistic. Tell yourself, "Although there will be challenges, I can do well with this presentation."
   • Focus on "can" statements and avoid "shoulds". The sentence "should" implies that there is something you need to do and that this can put pressure if you do not meet that expectation. Instead, focus on what you CAN do.
   • Focus on the positive. Think about the good things in your life. Remind yourself of things that have been smooth recently. Think about the skills you used to cope with difficult situations.
   • Be your cheerleader. Give yourself positive words of encouragement and take note of what you do. For example, you may find that while you are not doing all the exercise you want, you are going to the gym one more session a week. Recognize the positive changes you have made. For example, "My presentation may not be perfect, but colleagues asked questions and were interested - and I accomplished my goal."

2. 

   
   
   Set goals and expectations. List the things you want to accomplish and make a plan to achieve that goal. For example, you might decide to volunteer more, find a new hobby, or spend time socializing with friends.
   • Make sure your goals and expectations are realistic. Going down to the impossible because of the impossible will not improve your self-esteem. For example, suddenly you want to achieve your dream of playing professional hockey at the age of 40. This is unrealistic and it will hit your self-esteem when you realize that the goal is too far away and can not be achieved.
   • Instead, set more realistic goals, such as deciding to learn the guitar or a new sport. Setting goals at hand that you can strive to accomplish will help you stop the negative thoughts that drop your self-esteem. As you set and accomplish your goals, you will enjoy satisfaction and have the strength to repel the feeling of inferiority caused by not reaching your ideal and distant goals, just like a person. Perfect love, perfect chef, or anything perfect.
   • You can also set goals that will help you see and feel your energy. For example, if you want to know more about the world, you should decide to read the newspaper every day for a month. Or you want to know how to fix your bike and choose to learn how to tune your bike yourself. When you achieve your well-executed goals, you will feel strong and capable, and more satisfied with yourself.

3. 

   
   
   Take care of yourself. Some of us spend so much time worrying and caring for others that we forget our physical and mental health. On the other hand, some find it so frustrating that it makes no sense to spend time and effort taking care of themselves. After all, taking care of yourself can help improve your self-esteem. The stronger you are physically and mentally, the more likely you are to be satisfied with yourself. Note that taking care of yourself doesn't mean you have to be slim, solid, and perfect, it's about trying to healthy from your own perspective. Some suggestions are:
   • Eat at least three meals a day with healthy and nutritious foods like whole grains, poultry, fish and fresh vegetables for energy and nutrients. Drink water to stay hydrated.
   • Avoid processed foods, foods high in sugar, and caffeinated drinks. These can affect your mood and should be avoided if you are concerned about mood swings or negative emotions.
   • Do exercise. Research has shown that exercise can actually boost self-esteem. This is because exercise makes the body release "happy chemicals" called endorphins. This refreshing sensation can be accompanied by increased optimism and energy. Try to spend at least 30 minutes three times a week with high intensity exercises. You should at least take some time for a brisk walk every day.
   • Reduce stress. Make a plan to reduce the stress in your daily life by making time for relaxation and activities that interest you. Practice meditation, take a yoga class, gardening, or anything else that makes you feel peaceful and optimistic. Note that sometimes stress makes it easier for people to overreact or let negative emotions overwhelm.

4. 

   
   
   Review your life and achievements. Perhaps you have not properly recognized what you have done in life. Impress yourself, not anyone else. Take time to ponder and reflect on the brilliant achievements of the past, whether big or small. This not only helps you better understand your success, but also creates a place for you in this world and the value that you bring to the people around you.
   • Grab a notebook or journal and take 20-30 minutes. During this time, list all your accomplishments. Remember to write it down everything, from great achievements to everyday little things. The checklist should include things like learning to drive, passing college, moving to a private apartment, getting to know a good friend, cooking a good meal, getting a degree or getting a reward, getting a job “ growth first, and so on. The possibilities are endless! Bring out a checklist from time to time to add new achievements. You will find that you have a lot to be proud of.
   • Review old photos, scrapbooks, school yearbooks, mementos of trips, you can even think about using collages of your life and achievements to keep track of dates. passed.

5. 

   Do things that interest you. Make time to do something that makes you happy every day, whether it's cooking, reading, exercising, gardening or just spending an hour chatting with your partner. Don't feel guilty about the time you enjoy; you deserve it. Repeat that sentence if needed.
   • Try new activities; you may recognize talents and skills you would not expect before. Maybe you got into running and discovered that you're really good at long-distance running, a skill you've never thought of. This can help boost your self-esteem.
   • Consider participating in artistic activities such as painting, music, poetry, and dance. Efforts in the arts often help people to know how to express themselves and to get a sense of “mastering” a subject or skill. Many communities offer free or low-cost classes.

6. 

   Helping others. Research has shown that people who do volunteer work feel happier and have a higher self-esteem. It may sound paradoxical to say that if you want to be happy with yourself, you should help someone, but science has shown that a sense of social attachment comes with volunteering or helping others. makes us more optimistic about ourselves.
   • There are endless opportunities to help others. Volunteer in a nursing home or homeless housing. Join the temple to help the sick or impoverished. Dedicating time and effort to the animal protection association. Helping and teaching children. Clean up the park on community-organized occasions.

7. 

   Adjust your own image if necessary. People are always changing, and you need to change your perception of yourself to adapt to who you are now. Raising your self-esteem is meaningless if you don't see yourself correctly. Maybe you were really good at math when you were a kid, but now your math is just enough to calculate the size of your house. You may have been very religious at one time, but now you follow a certain ideology and are no longer going to church. Adjust your self-perception in response to your current life practices. Don't expect yourself to be good at math or to stick with mental factors.
   • Evaluate yourself on the CURRENT, and the skills, interests and beliefs you currently have, not on the old “version” of you.

8. 

   Get rid of the idea of ​​perfection. There is no perfect person in the world. Think of it as your new mantra. You will never get the perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect family, the perfect job and the like. No one has such things. Perfection is a fake concept, and becoming popular is created by society and the media. It is hurting us with suggestions that perfection IS attainable, it's just a matter of us not being talented enough.
   • Focus on effort instead of dreams and perfection. If you don't try something out of fear of not being able to do it perfectly, you will miss the opportunity in the first place. If you've never tried to play on the basketball team, you probably won't get a spot on the team. Don't let perfect pressure stop your progress.
   • Accepting that you are human, but already human, is fundamentally imperfect and can make mistakes. You may have grumpy with your children or have a harmless lie at work. No problem. People often make mistakes. Instead of blaming yourself for your mistakes, see them as opportunities to learn and grow, which you can fix in the future. You may find that it takes more thought before you speak, or that lying is never the best solution. Be tolerant of yourself and move forward. This is not easy, but it is the key to avoiding the vicious cycle of self-esteem and low self-esteem.
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Method 2 of 2: Managing when self-esteem is low

1. 

   Find things that lower your self-esteem. Think about situations and situations that might make you feel dissatisfied with yourself. For many people, typical triggers can be workplace meetings, school presentations, personal troubles at home or at work, and major life changes like leaving. leaving home, changing careers or breaking up with a partner.
   • You may also need to consider other people that you are dissatisfied with. You cannot control another's behavior; You can only control your responses and allow their behavior to influence you to some extent. If someone behaves harshly, petty, or disrespectfully towards you, understand that they also have their own problems and emotional problems that cause them to act negatively. But if the person is making your self-esteem down, it's best to stay away or go where they are, especially if the person reacts negatively when you try to question their behavior. .
   • Although the views and ideas of others have an impact on your life, don't put your life on them. Listen and accept what works for you. You own your life, nobody can do it for you.

2. 

   Watch out for thinking patterns that erode your self-esteem. For many of us, negative thoughts and beliefs can become so ordinary that we assume that they accurately reflect reality. Try to recognize some of the main types of low self-esteem:
   • Turn positive into negative - You underestimate your achievements and good experiences. For example, when getting a promotion at work, instead of seeing it as a reward for your hard work attitude, you lower your personal capacity: “I got a promotion just because of me. stay in the same neighborhood as boss ”.
   • All or nothing thinking or binary thinking In your thinking, your life and all actions have only two directions. There is only good or bad, positive or negative, etc. For example, you did not get into the top prestigious school you dream of but got points in five other schools, but you still insist that you failure and worthless because you failed to get into Harvard. You see things as either purely good or completely bad.
   • Psychological screening - You only see the negative side of things and sift through the others. This often creates a distorted image of people and situations. For example, when you make a typo in the report, you think the report becomes worthless, your boss will think you are stupid and unable to do a job.
   • Hurry to a negative conclusion - You pose the worst case scenario, although there is almost no evidence to support that argument. For example: "I sent an invitation to my friend half an hour ago and didn't see a reply, she must hate me".
   • Wrong feeling about things You deduce that your feelings reflect a greater truth. For example: "I feel like a complete failure, then I completely failed".
   • Negative monologue You talk to yourself with negative words, including criticism, curses, or demeaning sarcasm. For example, when you're five minutes late, you keep blaming yourself and calling yourself "stupid".

3. 

   
   
   Take a step back to reassess your thoughts. Repeat those negative thoughts over and over again until they get weird or seem like someone else says. Think about it, if you repeat a word over and over again, it starts to become meaningless (you could try doing this with the word "fork" for example). You can also write down your negative thoughts with your left hand to see how different they are. It probably isn't even your handwriting!
   • These experiences can help you distance your thoughts, so that you are able to observe them more objectively, almost with the eyes of an outsider. You will find that negative and self-deprecating thoughts are just words, nothing more, nothing less. And words can change.

4. 

   
   
   Accept all of your thoughts - even negative ones! Although the old adage is often used to change or counteract certain negative thoughts or feelings, sometimes it only worsens the situation when you realize that speaking is easier than done. Instead, accept those thoughts that are not necessarily approved. Negative thoughts come to mind and are there. They may not be correct, but they still exist. You don't have to love them, but accept that you have those thoughts.
   • Instead of trying to control your negative thoughts, make an effort to reduce their impact on you. Understand that negative thoughts are counterproductive and try not to let it drastically influence how you feel about yourself and your values ​​in this world.

5. 

   
   
   Place positive thoughts alongside negative ones. Turn the negative things that you think of yourself into positive things.
   • For example, if you often say yourself ugly, add that you look cute today. If you think you can never do anything right, say that you did the right things and give some evidence. Consider doing this by keeping a journal to keep track of your positive thoughts. Read your journal before you go to bed and when you wake up.
   • Write these positive statements on sticky notes and post them in obvious places like on the bathroom mirror. Thus those statements are strengthened and imprinted on your mind. Hopefully over time, these positive thoughts will replace the negative ones.

6. 

   Stop comparing. Comparing yourself to others often results in low self-esteem. Your friend won a scholarship and you didn't. Your sister finds a job right after she graduates, and you can't. One of your coworkers has 500 friends on Facebook, while you only have 200. The more you compare yourself to others, the more inferior you feel. Such comparisons are lame, important because it assumes that all situations are the same. Maybe your sister got such a job soon because she joined an experimental program with many opportunities. Or your colleague has many "friends" on Facebook because he befriends anyone he meets. Yes, your friend won a scholarship, but maybe his parents can't help and he has to work 20 hours a week part-time at that school.
   • Should focus on yourself. Compete with yourself. Challenge yourself to move forward. Do you want to win a scholarship? Then challenge yourself next year to do it, but you also need to spend more time studying outside of class. Don't forget that you only have control over your behavior, so focus on that.
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Advice

• No one can give you self-esteem. You have to find it yourself.
• Avoid the tendency to turn your self-esteem into pride and pride. Empathy for yourself does not mean you are lost in "thoughtful", an act of letting go of thinking too much about yourself and your experiences.