Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 2: Dealing with negative people on the spot
• Method 2 of 2: Dealing with negative people in the long term
• Tips
• Warnings

Everyone has a friend or colleague who sucks all the energy out of them, complaining about all the ways the world turns against him / her. Unfortunately, you will have to deal with many negative people throughout your life. Negative thoughts can affect your personal well-being, so it's important to avoid them. Fortunately, there are many ways to deal with negative people.

To step

Method 1 of 2: Dealing with negative people on the spot

1. Remember, you don't have to cheer him up, fix his problems, or provide a solution. It's commendable that you try to change things for him. However, keep in mind that you may not be able to succeed, and it is not really your job.
   • Sometimes the best way for you to deal with negative people is to stay positive and ignore their negativity.
   • Unsolicited advice is rarely accepted. Wait for the person to tell you they want to hear your ideas.
   • Sometimes there is a good reason why a person is in a negative state; respect their situation. The best way to annoy someone in a bad mood is to tell them not to be. While it may be true, it is of little help.
   • Be a good example of being positive. Sometimes the best thing to do is simply take a positive stand. Just staying positive and staying so in an ocean of hopelessness will have an effect.
2. Offer support. The first time you meet someone who is negative, offer a listening and compassionate ear. Try to help when needed. Everyone has a bad day or could use some help from time to time. You shouldn't be too quick to judge a friend who needs help.
   • If the person keeps bringing up the same negative topics, you are likely to feel emotionally drained after meeting them, so if they use negative language overwhelmingly often (I can't, I don't, I hate, etc. ), it is time to free him / her from the negativity.
3. Do not let yourself be dragged into it. It is very easy to get sucked into the spiral of negativity when you are confronted with a negative person. Choosing not to go along with those thoughts does not mean that you ignore the other person, but only that you maintain an emotional distance.
   • Avoid arguing about why the person shouldn't be negative. When attempting to get negative people to switch, the first instinct is to try to convince them why the person shouldn't be. Unfortunately, this usually does not work. Negative people often have a lot of rational reasons why, and will usually have a lot of defense to keep them there. You will likely put a lot of time and effort into it for nothing, and maybe even get pulled into the negative spiral yourself.
   • Negative people tend to overdo it, focus on their negativity, and ignore the positive.Rather than trying to make them see that they are negative (which usually only leads to arguments, and can reinforce the idea that the whole world is against them), try to give meaningless answers that neither encourage nor encourage their negativity. condemn.
     • "Okay" or "Aha" are two examples of this.
     • You can continue with your own positive outlook, but don't try to contradict the person: "I understand. It's really hard when customers seem so ungrateful. I try not to take that personally. ""
4. Make use of appreciative inquiry. If the other person is negative only about certain events or topics, you can have a conversation with them using a technique called "appreciative inquiry." This is the process of asking questions to help the other see the future a little more positively. If he / she is complaining about a past event, you can ask questions so that he / she focuses more on the positive aspects of the experience, or by asking questions about the future.
   • These questions could include, "What do you hope will happen next time?" or "What was the positive about that experience?"
   • These questions can lead to a story about how the future could look brighter, and how to achieve that.
5. Send the conversation in a certain direction. If appreciative inquiry doesn't seem to be working, try steering the conversation to something more innocent.
   • For example, you can say, "I understand that you are angry with your colleague. That must have been very annoying for you. But tell me, what are you going to do this weekend?" Or "Wow, that sounds like an ordeal ... Hey, have you seen that new documentary yet?"
6. Try to break through negative worry. Worrying (having the same negative thoughts over and over) only reinforces negativity. It is also associated with higher levels of depression. If the other person tends to worry, you can try to break the spiral by letting the person focus on something else.
   • While directing the conversation may mean trying to lead the other person to a more enjoyable topic within the same theme, to break through the negative worry you may want to try to change the topic altogether. If the person is worrying about work, talk about their favorite show, pet, or anything else that will help spark a more positive conversation.
7. Help the other person see how he / she can regain control. Negative people often blame external factors rather than themselves. People who blame their problems on outside factors usually have worse emotional well-being than people with a different perspective. Try to help the negative person make a plan for how to deal with negative events.
   • Venting out about a negative situation is not necessarily an unhealthy reaction. We all encounter problems and develop ways to deal with them. Try to help the other person by transforming the negative energy into something constructive. For example, you can ask what the other person could do about changing an unfavorable situation at work.
8. Help the other person to accept negative events. In addition to talking to the person about how to respond to a negative event, you can also help them eventually accept the negative events. For example, imagine that a friend was reprimanded for arriving late for work. He / she will complain to you at lunch, nagging that he / she had to take the bus, that the boss hates him / her, etc. You can then say several things, such as:
   • “Well, that reprimand has already been given, you can't do anything about it anymore. But you can show your boss that you are really committed by being on time from now on ”.
   • “Wouldn't it be better to get on a bike? Then you are not dependent on buses that run on time, and then you can leave home even later ".
   • "You are really upset about it, I can see. I think it is really annoying that this happened. If you need help to be more organized in the morning, I find that this helps me a lot to leave on time. Please leave on time. let me know if you want my help with that. "
9. Set boundaries. When dealing with negative people, you have to set boundaries. Someone else's negativity is not your responsibility. If they burden you with it too much, you have to take some distance.
   • If the negative person is a coworker, break the downward spiral by saying you have to get back to work. Be nice, otherwise you will feed the negativity even more.
   • If the negative person is a family member (especially if they live in the same house), try to do as much as possible without them. Go to the library or a nearby coffee shop, or just don't always answer the phone when they call.

Method 2 of 2: Dealing with negative people in the long term

1. Recognize negative people. Part of dealing with negative people in the long run is determining whether they are really negative or just having a bad day.
   • Negative people often get that way because they are constantly being disappointed or hurt, causing anger.
   • Negative people usually blame external factors and not themselves. Of course there are also people who think very negatively about themselves, and that can be just as tiring for the listener.
2. Avoid lecturing the other person. Friendships or working relationships with negative people can test your patience, time, and energy, but it's important not to lecture the other person. Even the most positive of us often don't like criticism very well, and a negative person sees it as proof that you are already against him / her, instead of seeing the criticism as something constructive.
   • Even if you think it helps to vent so that you can "put it off", it will not improve the situation in the end. If you really want to talk about the negative person, do it to someone else you trust in your circle of friends.
3. Act instead of just responding. One way to help both yourself and the negative person is to do nice things that aren't inspired by a specific situation or conversation. Rejection by others reinforces the negative worldview, so an act showing acceptance can make a lot of difference.
   • People can sometimes take for granted the support they receive if they are already trapped in a negative spiral of thoughts. Do something positive for the other person that is not produced by the negative situation. You may have more influence on how the other person interacts with you if you do.
   • For example, if you occasionally come up with excuses not to have to meet with the negative person when he / she is worrying about a negative situation, you can agree to do something fun when he / she is not in a bad mood or worrying.
4. Send the other person messages with positive content to help them become more positive. Remind him / her of a good time you had together or a funny situation. Compliment the other person if you think he / she has done something right. It shows the other person that someone is thinking about him / her, and that can contribute to more positivity that day.
   • For example, "What a good piece of work. I was really impressed with the amount of research you did."
5. Do something unexpectedly sweet every now and then. This could be anything from taking over chores to proposing you watch a movie on the couch together, or just take a stroll together. It is a good way to reinforce positivity for the negative person, without lecturing him / her, because that hardly ever goes well.
6. Meet with a group. Sometimes the best way to deal with a negative person (especially if they belong to your circle of friends) is to meet up with a whole group so that the negativity can be spread among the different people. Make sure that the whole group does not turn against the negative person.
   • This step works best when everyone in the group has an equal amount of empathy for the negative person, and the same strategies are used to help the person overcome his / her negativity.
7. Be responsible for your own happiness. Since we are social beings, our happiness often depends on the quality of relationships with others. But you, and you alone, are responsible for your own positivity and happiness.
   • Being happy regardless of the circumstances means taking control of your emotional responses rather than a situation. For example, if you are dealing with a negative friend, you can allow that friend to rob you of your own positivity, or you can keep reminding yourself of positive things before and after meeting the friend.
   • Controlling your emotional responses is like training a muscle. You need to practice controlling your emotional response to outside situations, such as dealing with a negative person.
8. Think about the person's role in your life. In the end, sometimes it can be better to banish a negative person from your life altogether. There are times when the negativity puts you down too much, making a meaningful and equal relationship no longer possible.
   • You have to carefully weigh the pros and cons of banning someone. It can be very difficult if the person is part of a mutual group of friends. It may even be impossible if the other person is, for example, a colleague or several.
   • Look honestly at what you get out of the relationship with this person and don't keep the relationship because it "used to be nice", when the person has only become so negative in recent months or years.
9. Avoid the person. If you can't completely banish them from your life, avoidance is the best option. Remember to take care of yourself. You don't owe your time and energy to anyone, especially if the other person sucks you out with his / her negativity.

Tips

• Know that there can be many different reasons for negativity, such as insecurity, low self-esteem, abuse, frustration, low self-confidence, etc.
• Negative people have a hard time seeing the positive aspects or the positive outcomes of life. Know that these people must want to adjust their thinking themselves.
• Do not respond to negative comments. They try to provoke a reaction with this. If you don't respond, they will stop because their attempts are unsuccessful.
• Be polite, be patient, and don't be rude.

Warnings

• Don't let these people's negativity make you a pessimist!
• Someone who is always negative could be depressed. Make sure he / she will not hurt himself or others. Encourage suicidal people to seek professional help.