Dealing with the death of a grandparent

Video: The Grieving Process: Coping with Death

Content

To step
Part 1 of 3: Accept your feelings
Part 2 of 3: Keeping the memory of your precious grandparent alive
Part 3 of 3: Moving on with your life
Tips

Coping with a grandparent's death may be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. It can be doubly difficult because it can be your first experience of losing a loved one. While the pain in your heart won't magically go away, you can take steps to accept your feelings and learn how to cope with the loss of a loved one by talking about it, seeking support from your family, and beyond. to get on with your life. Your memories of your precious grandparent will stay with you long after his or her death, and you will always be able to honor the memory of the person you love. If you want to know how to deal with the death of a grandparent, read on.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Accept your feelings

Take as much time as you need. Don't listen to the people who tell you that there is a timeline when it comes to grief. Some people take a lot less time than others when it comes to moving on after the death of a loved one and you shouldn't find yourself any less because you've been grieving for a long time. Most importantly, take the time to fully process your feelings instead of wanting to go straight ahead and suppress how you really feel.
- Know that there is no clear line between grieving and "moving on," and the latter does not mean that you have forgotten your grandparent and are no longer sad about the loss. Every person should take as much time as he or she needs.
- Obviously, if many months have passed, or even a year or two, and you still feel so sad that you find it difficult to function, professional help can be a way to cope.
Let your emotions run wild. Another way to accept your feelings is to cry, scream, be angry, or just do whatever you need to do to get your feelings out. You don't have to hold back your tears or hold back your emotions, because that will make it harder for you to deal with them. You may not want to show your emotions, especially if a grieving parent or other grandparent needs you for support, but you need to vent those feelings from time to time, whether with a friend, an understanding family member, or when you are alone.
- Taking time to just cry can be very therapeutic. That said, you don't have to feel guilty or confused if you don't cry easily and can't find tears, even if you are deeply sad.
- This can also be a good time to write in your journal about how you are feeling. It can help you channel your feelings in a more organized and calm way.
Keep your beloved grandparent in your heart and memories. Don't think that there will come a time when you stop thinking fully about your beloved grandparent. You can always keep him or her in your heart and memory. Allow yourself to reflect on the good times you have shared with you, the conversations you have had, and the journeys you have taken together. And if there have been disagreements or bad times, you can think about that too. It's not just about cherishing the good times and forgetting the bad, but about honoring the whole person.
- Write down everything you remember about your grandparent. This can help you keep him or her in your heart forever.
- Look at pictures of you with your grandfather and grandmother to feel calm.
Be aware of triggers. Of course, some times of the year or some places make it more difficult for you to deal with the loss of a grandparent. You may have to avoid the lake where you used to go fishing with your grandfather for a while, or the eatery where your grandmother used to take you to get an ice cream, just until you feel ready to go back to your favorite places. Perhaps Thanksgiving or Christmas is particularly difficult because you associate those holidays with spending time with your grandparents. Knowing what those triggers are can help you avoid them or seek extra support when you can't.
- This doesn't mean you should stop doing all the things you loved to do with your grandpa and grandma forever. It just means you need a little bit of time away from those things until you feel more stable and calm.
- Unfortunately, some things, like the holidays, can always be a bit more difficult. But over time and with the support of your family, you can enjoy it again while thinking about your grandpa and grandma at the same time.
Support and seek support from your other family members. One of the best things you can do to accept your feelings is to talk to your other family members about the loss. Your parents may really need your support and you should be there for them. If you have another living grandparent, you have to be there for him or her during this difficult time as well. You can share your own feelings while supporting your loved ones, and you shouldn't feel the pressure all the time to be strong. The most important thing is that you are present.
- Don't be afraid to share your feelings. Spend more time with family members than usual instead of hiding in your room with your grief. Even if they don't ask for your company, they will appreciate it.
Remember to take care of yourself. An important thing to keep in mind when dealing with the loss of your grandparent is that you shouldn't forget to take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough rest - without spending all day in bed - eat three healthy meals a day and take the time to get out and see other people. Taking care of other family members can be important, but you shouldn't sacrifice your own well-being in the meantime. Showering regularly and maintaining your hygiene can also help you take more control of your life. While you will still feel restless, sticking to a healthy routine can make a big difference.
- If you're feeling absolutely awful, just showering and changing clothes can make you feel better than spending the whole day in bed without grooming yourself.
- Getting enough rest can help you get better control of your emotions. If you are exhausted from not sleeping enough or feel grumpy from sleeping too much, it will be harder for you to deal with it.

Part 2 of 3: Keeping the memory of your precious grandparent alive

Learn about your grandparent. When your parents or other family members are ready, don't be shy about asking them about something you didn't know about your grandparent. Talk to them about where he or she grew up, what his or her job was, what stories you might not have heard about him or her, or just any other details that come to mind when your beloved grandparent comes up. Many grandchildren tend to think of their grandparents as kind old people rather than people with a rich history and background, especially if they lose them at a young age - having an idea of the whole person you've lost can help you get more to be in control of the situation.
- When your parent is ready to talk about it, ask what it was like for him or her to grow up in a home with your grandparent, and what memories he or she could share from childhood.
Write down the stories your grandparent used to tell. While not all grandparents like to think back to their lives, many of them love to share stories about their childhood, work, home city or country, or what the world used to be like. Get together with your loved ones and see how many stories each one remembers about your beloved grandparent. Writing them all down gives you a sense of the whole person and gives you something to cherish forever.
- You can even pass the notebook along so anyone can write the story he or she remembers. While it is impossible to get a full sense of the person you lost, you can find comfort in remembering these stories.
Look at pictures of your grandparent's life. While your beloved grandparent won't have had a Facebook account that chronicled his or her life from birth to his or her final years, going through a family album can help you find peace and a deeper understanding of the person who was your grandparent. There may not be hundreds of photos available, so you should really dwell on every photo and memory your grandparent created. Review the album with a family member, who can help provide some context, and take comfort in the fact that your grandparent lived a full and rich life.
- If the photos aren't organized in a photo album, but in a box, you can even turn it into a project and create a photo album that honors the memory of your grandpa and grandma chronologically.
- Obviously, this activity leads to some more tears. Make sure you are ready before doing this.
Keep the gifts that the grandparent gave you. View the gifts, photos, sweaters, books, jewelry or other valuable mementos that your grandfather and grandmother have given you. If it's something you can wear, wear it for a while. If not, give it a prominent place. Don't think you have to get rid of these things or put them out of sight to "overcome" the loss of your grandparent. You can keep them close to your heart and honor the memory of the person you love.
- If there is something special that your grandparent has given you, such as a pendant, a figurine, or a written letter, you can even carry it with you for a while and take comfort in it. While it may seem a bit silly and symbolic, it can help you through grief.
Go to your grandparent's grave when you are ready. If you think visiting your grandparent's grave will help you grieve and have a quiet conversation with the one you lost, then you should go there once you are ready, alone or with family members . If you are really young and have never been to a grave before, then you should talk to your parents about it and see if you are ready. If you are older and think this will help you honor the memory of the person you lost, then you should take this step if you can.
- Bring flowers or whatever is customary in your culture to pay tribute to the person you lost.
Talk to other people who have lost their grandparents. You may also be able to honor your grandparent's memory by talking to other people who have experienced a similar loss. If you feel like your family members are too emotionally drained to talk about it, you can talk to friends who have experienced similar pain and who can help you get through this difficult time. While no two grieving processes are exactly the same, having someone to talk to can make you feel less alone.

Part 3 of 3: Moving on with your life

Know that you will never "go on" completely. You should not think that there is a negative meaning to the term "continue," or that it means putting aside thoughts of your beloved grandparent in order to move on with your life happily. It just means that while you always have a special place in your heart for your grandparent, you don't feel like the pain is completely holding you back from living your life.
- Don't consider moving on as a form of betraying your beloved grandparent. Think of it as a positive development that will help you live a healthy life.
Change your routine. One thing you can do when you feel like you are in a rut is change things a little bit. If you do all the things you always did when your grandparent was alive, you may find it a little harder to move on than if you change things a little bit. You can spend more time with your friends and family, find a new hobby, or discover a love of volunteering or reading that you didn't know you had.
- While you should avoid making drastic changes or big life decisions during a time of grief, small changes here and there can help you feel like you're getting into a new and positive rhythm.
Spend more time with your family members. Another way to feel more comfortable and move forward is to spend more time with your close family members. It's not a cliché that a death in the family can really bring loved ones closer together, and you should see this as an opportunity to spend more time with those you care about and make more family-oriented plans. This can help you in the grieving process and can also provide you with comfort and stability.
- Maybe you don't normally come home for the holidays or you're not the type to phone your parents several times a week. Try to spend more time communicating with your family and you will see that it gives you strength in this difficult time.
Return to the things you and your grandparent used to enjoy doing together. While it is natural that for a while you will want to avoid some of the activities you used to do with your beloved grandparent, such as walking in your favorite woodland area, making dessert or just watching baseball, but at some point it should go without saying return to these activities and you should even be able to enjoy them again. Don't avoid the things you used to love forever, or you'll never feel like you're making progress with your grief. When you think you're ready, start doing those things again, either alone or with another family member or friend.
- While the activity will not feel the same as it did when you did this with your grandparent, it is a way to channel the loving memory you have of that beloved person.
Seek more help if you need it. If you feel like you are still grieving after many months and feel as bad as when you first got the sad news, then you may need to seek extra help. You can make an appointment with a specialist therapist, go to group therapy, or even talk to your doctor if you feel like nothing is working. It's no shame to admit that you need more help getting through this difficult time, and it will only do you good to take as many steps as possible to move forward.
Remember, your grandparent wishes you could enjoy the rest of your life. While this may sound like corny advice now that you're feeling the pain of grief, in the end nothing is a greater truth. Your grandparent loves you very much and would like you to live a happy and meaningful life, remembering all the great moments you have been through. You may feel like you are in a rut or feel guilty for experiencing joy, but the best thing you can do is continue to enjoy your life while lovingly thinking about your grandparent.
- Your grandparent's influence on your life continues long after he or she passes away. The best thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to continue to enjoy your daily life while keeping your grandparent close to you, in your heart and in your memory.

Tips

Your parents will understand if you suddenly and randomly cry because you miss the person, although they may start crying themselves.
On their birthday, quietly sing "Happy birthday" or turn your icon / background on your computer into something your grandparent loved.
Often tell your grandparents or your parents that you love them so they know! Make sure you show them that too, for example by helping them when they haven't been asked for it.Actions speak louder than words.
Cry as much and as often as you need to so that you can process the grief, but never forget them.
Don't feel bad if everyone has moved on and you're still upset. It's different for different people. Just know that they loved you and the rest of your family still does.
If your grandparent (s) are old and you know they can die, if possible, tell them good night every night before going to sleep and that you love them so they can take it with them in their hearts.
If they are in a nursing home, visit them as often as possible before they die.
If you have to cry at school or work, ask your teacher or boss if you can be alone for a minute to pick yourself up.