Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 5: Slow down the drama queen
• Method 2 of 5: Dealing with your own long toes
• Method 3 of 5: Consult with your partner
• Method 4 of 5: Dealing with your sister-in-law's calls and messages
• Method 5 of 5: Treating each other in a kinder way in the future

Whether or not you think your sister-in-law is crazy depends in large part on what you think of as crazy. Some of the indicators that your sister-in-law isn't really taking you into account are masses of outraged text messages, being asked to participate in gossip calls, and always wanting to be updated on your private affairs. Above all, she may always try to be in the spotlight when family gets together. If your sister-in-law is giving you a hard time and you want this to stop, learn some ways to limit her interference, which also largely comes down to how you responds.

To step

Method 1 of 5: Slow down the drama queen

1. Realize that you may be dealing with a hysteric or drama queen. The dynamics of a sister-in-law may seem complex at times, but it isn't anymore when you consider that much of her life she has dedicated her immediate family to serve her at her beck and call. The drama queen thrives on drama and everyone's attention as a result.
   • Sit back at the next family gathering and observe. Notice how she interacts with her relatives and how they respond to her. If you witness a lot of tiptoe around her and indulgent behavior towards her, then she's clearly used to getting her way.
   • Think about what happens when she brings up a dramatic topic. Are other family members rushing to agree on how "outrageous" the price of childcare / electricity / shampoo / pet care / car maintenance / etc is? Do they confirm her complaint as soon as possible, causing even more complaints? This shows that the family is cultivating its plaintive view of the world, and has unfortunately used this for a long time just to give in to it. You can't change them, but you can be a new role model by not complaining yourself.
   • Pay attention to what happens if you disagree with her. Does she pout, throw an adult-style tantrum, or try to put you down? While it is important to stand up for those things that are important to you, you will have to learn to deal carefully with any childish reaction. Learn not so much to argue as to just disagree - the boundary isn't always clear, but it's about recognizing her underlying need (notice me, help me, etc.) without going along with her vision of the world.
2. Don't get involved in her dramas. Your sister-in-law can let off steam, let herself go, and swear whatever she wants, but you don't have to get involved in the negativity. Don't take anything being said personally –– the crazier the reactions and actions, the more your sister-in-law will reach for opportunities to provoke you and put yourself back in the spotlight. Let her be in the spotlight in her own home, but don't hang around falling victim to her tirades. If things get really cool, indicate that you will come back when she calms down and leave. If this happens at your home, tell them it is time to leave. (You can even make up an appointment or say you go to bed early if you really need a polite excuse.)

Method 2 of 5: Dealing with your own long toes

1. Look at yourself first. It can be difficult to do this if someone else is provoking you. But it's important because it's your response that makes her feel like she can go in the same direction with you. Some things to consider are:
   • Stay quiet at the risk of just thinking you're stupid, impressed with her, or eating yourself up with resentment. Regardless of your choice, she's probably happy with all three. And she will use your silence to hold on to her position at your expense. If you just grin and put up with it resignedly, you will probably gradually turn into a doormat.
   • You enter into the argument and she probably thinks her sibling has married an angry, resentful, and bitter person, who hates her, and will do everything she can to get between her and her sibling. You may think you are defending yourself, but to her it means that you don't care what she thinks, and you may even want to put her down. This doesn't mean that there isn't room for a dispute - it just means that you should choose with care the way you try to change her mind.
2. Set boundaries. Line up the facts about things she's pressuring you about firmly but politely, and don't get emotional while negotiating. If you put things simply, stick to the facts and don't make a case of her, so that she has few leads. Be aware that she may continue to blame you for speaking up and acting in an assertive and self-effective manner, but this should not prevent clarifying your position. Ultimately, she'll have to respect someone who won't argue, lose his or her mood, and won't mince words, but instead make it clear what the boundaries are. And even if she can't, everyone else will immediately see that you are the more sensible person in the room.
   • For example, let's say your daughter Sheila fell out. Your sister-in-law is urging her to see a doctor right away because something terrible may be going on. You're sure there's not much going on and know you're a good parent, but sister-in-law keeps nagging about it, listing all the bad things and exaggerating that can happen if you don't follow her advice. Speak to your sister-in-law in a calm voice, such as, "That's very nice of you to worry about the Sheila, but I'm absolutely sure her knee will be fine." Things like this happen all the time and are just part of her experience of the outdoors. She doesn't have to go to the doctor. " And that is that, without any need to enter into further discussion. If your sister-in-law tries to get on with it, smile and change the subject - refuse to go into the matter again.

Method 3 of 5: Consult with your partner

1. Talk to your partner about your feelings. There's no need to swear, insult her, or insinuate anything about your sister-in-law. Instead, explain how you feel when she talks obnoxiously again when you are in her presence. Your spouse cannot blame you for your feelings, so be clear and thoughtful in your articulation. Your partner then knows that you have recognized your sister-in-law's behavior for what it is, and that you have chosen to stop accepting that you are its victim.
   • For example, "George, when your sister talks a lot about how difficult it is to finance her children's private education, I feel claustrophobic because she doesn't know when to stop. Considering that we can hardly afford our mortgage ourselves, I feel a bit anxious about this kind of conversation all evening. I want to stop putting myself in this position from now on, by simply acknowledging her problem, but not letting her go on about it all evening, and I would like you to help me do this by finding other topics to to talk about without it being about money. Do you agree with that?'.
2. Ask your spouse to think carefully about the way he or she tells you about family matters. Tell your spouse that you love to hear about your sister-in-law, but that you don't appreciate stories about the drama that often accompanies it. Help your partner recognize what you consider "drama" and what "real news", and over time, both of you will learn to talk about family matters in a less dramatic and more emotionally healthy way.
   • Kindly remind your partner when you feel like your sister-in-law's drama is repeating itself in your home. You could even arrange a special signal instead of repeating it over and over again.
   • Place a ban on gossip at home (or anywhere). Remind each other when conversations start to resemble gossip and stop it. It doesn't matter if you feel like you're being gossiped about - you're the more mature person who doesn't engage in the same behavior.

Method 4 of 5: Dealing with your sister-in-law's calls and messages

1. Do not respond to what you do not need to respond to. Do not respond to any of the text messages that are not directly related to a family visit, positive messages or other completely normal affairs. If you get exaggerated reports from her about things that have happened to her, her annoyance at something you have apparently done wrong, or gossip about friends and family, let it pass so that she is left in the dark.
   • If you are angry and want to send a response, rebuke, or explanation right away, don't do this. Treat your anger or irritation as a warning to sleep on it. Furious texts or messages can only end in more discomfort on both sides.
2. If your sister-in-law gets on your nerves, keep social media networks to a minimum. If your sister-in-law is a real nuisance and a bit of a procrastinator, her social networking style may reflect her attention-grabbing. It's all too easy to get drawn into the web of her anger and exaggerated expressions, if you can see her Facebook updates or her latest tweets.
   • If she identifies you as a friend, you can do several things.
     • A: Ignore the request. If she asks you about it, tell her you don't use social media much to exchange important things (if at all).
     • Two: Answer her with a "Thank you, but rather not." I am not currently accepting any new requests due to the crowds / privacy / overload, etc. "You can also add something like:" Besides, we see each other often and I prefer that we speak personally. "
     • Three: Set all your settings to private so she can't see who your online friends are. Don't say anything or tell her that you've stopped using social media or that you only have a close circle of followers and you don't want to expand them at this point. If you say you didn't receive a request, she will only resend it, but it may take enough time to get her off the idea if you offer to 'look at it' but let the 'look at it' run its course and refuses to go back to it).
     • Four: Offer her a more neutral alternative. Offer to mark her as a friend on Pinterest and focus solely on a shared hobby or cooking. Nothing daring or mean, of course.
   • Avoid using terminology such as "friends" when discussing a refusal to accept her request. Unfortunately, the use of this term by social media has led many people to take it literally - a lot of people are just followers or fans - no friends. She may feel devalued if you suggest she is rejected as "girlfriend."
   • If she's already a follower of one or more of your networking sites, consider blocking her and making your pages private on some sites. You probably need to explain what happened (with a good excuse), and if she's a procrastinator, she'll not only notice but take offense.
3. Be careful if you persevere trying to be her friend online and / or over the phone. If she treats you negatively, it is recommended that you keep this record to show your partner and other family members evidence if necessary. Keep messages, emails, voicemails, etc .. Some hysterics "like to attack" when no one else can see and think you don't have the courage to expose their behavior. You are not looking for something against the other, but it is a way to protect yourself when something gets out of hand. However, this is the last option - if you are deft in public situations around your sister-in-law, then everyone will know who is really acting and who is causing unrest.

Method 5 of 5: Treating each other in a kinder way in the future

1. Get on with your life together. You have chosen to live with your partner, not with your family.While his or her family members are part of the package, they are not part of your intimacy and do not share the same journey with the two of you. If you make it very clear that you have no interest in jealousy, innuendo, rumors, or gossip, it will soon become apparent to your sister-in-law that her stabbing, attitude, and meanness no longer excite you as in the past. Ultimately, it is no longer useful or fun for her to keep making the effort and she will likely be reluctant to look for someone else to mock and harass.
   • Spend less time with your sister-in-law. In what ways do you make yourself a target for her? While it may feel like you have to accept her, you can find ways to spend less time with her. For example, ask other family members to visit each other when she is not around. Don't always do this or she'll have a legitimate reason to complain, but the time you spend with other family members doesn't always mean she's there too. If you live far away and have to visit once a year, stay in your own accommodation to give yourself some respite.
   • Take walks, go outside, and don't stay longer than necessary when it comes to long-winded family matters that get on your nerves. Families know better than anyone what the pain points are and unfortunately some are more than happy to press on it. At such events, your sister-in-law probably has alliances she can use to be even more effective, so the less time you spend around such complaining cliques, the better.
2. Really listen to her. When your sister-in-law is around, try to listen actively and give recognition, instead of letting yourself be controlled by your lack of self-defense. When she's at the top of her lament, instead of putting her complaints aside with a clincher like, `` If you think you're having a hard time, you should be in my shoes, '' you can also focus on her and try to find out what it really is that drives her underwater stabbing, nagging and gossip. By not relating this to yourself, you may be surprised at what you discover. Keep it in your response to her in acknowledging her pain with neutral comments such as, "I'm sorry you had to go through that to pay an electricity bill. It must be difficult to pay for everything for four children every month. "Don't give advice, don't state how you would deal with it, and never offer to pay or pave the way for a solution to her problem. It is with her, and you simply recognize it.
3. Be compassionate. If your sister-in-law has been annoying more than once and even did things to outdo or put you down, chances are she's trying to do it again, even if you don't bite. But if you are ready and understand what her problem is (insecurity, loneliness, feeling left out, wanting to be in control, etc.), then you can empathize with her actions and disconnect from her drama. If you refuse to bear her burden, she will be forced to do it herself and no longer see you as a potential target.