Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Respond to the behavior
• Method 2 of 3: Set boundaries
• Method 3 of 3: Support your loved ones

An attention seeker displays dramatic behavior, tells exaggerated stories, and argues too violently. If someone is bothering you with this type of behavior, it is best to ignore their disruptive behavior. If you have clear boundaries, these will help you stay calm and keep control. However, if the attention grabber is someone you love, you may need to be able to help him or her get rid of this behavior with the help of a therapist or psychologist.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Respond to the behavior

1. Ignore him (or her) if he does something that disturbs you. Ignoring is the best way to show him that he's not going to get your attention. Don't look at the attention grabber or ask him to stop. Just pretend he's not trying to get attention.
   • Many attention seekers enjoy both positive and negative attention. He (or she) may whistle softly because he knows it annoys you and you will lash out at him. As difficult as it is, just try to stop responding when he whistles. Put in earplugs or listen to music if it happens again.
   • If the person is telling stories to get your attention, make up an excuse to avoid listening to them. For example, you can say, "I have to go back to work" or "Sorry, but I'm just working on something."
2. Stay calm while the other person is drawing attention. If it is not possible to ignore the person, try not to show any emotion while interacting with him or her. Do not show that you are angry, frustrated, or agitated. But don't pretend you're interested in the other. Just stay calm with a calm expression on your face.
   • For example, if your coworker sits next to you and starts talking about the argument he's having with his boss, just nod a little. When he's done, tell him to get back to work.
   • It is best not to ask questions when he or she is telling a story. Respond with short sentences such as “nice” or “ok”.
   • That said, if he or she has a really good idea or tells a funny story, don't be afraid to show that you're interested. After all, everyone needs genuine attention. If you're really interested in his or her hobbies or stories, it might be a fun conversation too.
3. Just ask for the facts if you find him (or she) pretending to be the victim. Being a victim is one way for attention seekers to gain sympathy and compliments. For example, he tells a story in which he was ridiculed and insulted. Respond by asking objective questions about the facts of the story, not the emotions or perspective of the person telling the story.
   • For example, if he or she keeps going on about how rude the cashier was to him or her, you could say something like, “What exactly did the cashier say? Did she really say that to you? Where was the manager? ”
4. Learn to just walk away when you are in a dangerous or extreme situation. Attention seekers behave this way because they want to elicit responses through their behavior. Some of those people go further and further to get that attention. If the situation gets too bad, just walk away. This gives him (or her) the signal that his behavior is not having the desired effect, and you bring yourself to safety.
   • Don't reward dangerous stunts or jokes by paying attention to them. If an attention seeker does dangerous things to get attention, tell someone like that very directly, “I don't like seeing you hurt yourself. If you continue, I don't know if we can still get along. ”
   • If you think the person is in danger, hurting themselves, or hurting someone else, get them help as soon as possible. Signs that someone is thinking of suicide include talking about his or her death, giving away belongings, or taking more alcohol or drugs.
   • If the person is regularly crying, yelling, or screaming in public, it might be an idea to advise them to see a therapist or psychologist.

Method 2 of 3: Set boundaries

1. Let him or her know which behaviors you will and will not tolerate. Make sure the attention grabber understands that you are not accepting certain behavior. If he (or she) knows that he (or she) is not getting any attention from you with the behavior, he may stop doing it in future.
   • For example, if you don't want him (or she) to touch you, you might say to him, “Don't you want to pat me on the shoulder or grab my arm anymore if you want my attention? You can also say my name if you need me. ” If he continues to touch you afterwards, ignore it.
   • You can also say something like, "I know you really like bungee jumping, but I don't feel good if you keep showing me clips of you jumping off buildings. Please don't show the clips to me again."
2. Set limits on conversations and small talk. An attention grabber can quickly fill your day with his (or her) stories and needs. To end the conversation in time, you can tell him (or her) exactly how much time you have to talk at the beginning. When that time has passed, the conversation is over and then you end the conversation.
   • For example, if he (or she) calls you, you can say something like, “Hey, I only have fifteen minutes. What is it?"
   • If you are in his or her company, say something along the lines of, “Come on, let's have lunch; I just have to leave at 14:00. ”
   • Set your alarm on your phone to remind you to end the call at that time. As soon as it goes off, you both know to end the conversation.
3. Stop following the attention grabber's social media accounts. Some people post things that are too personal or they post too many things on social media, such as on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. If you find the posts annoying you, delete them as a friend, or delete their posts from your timeline or news feed.
   • If someone posts too much on social media, it could be a sign that they are seeking more contact with other people. If it's someone you care about, give them a call and meet up or drop by.
   • If the attention seeker posts controversial material on social media, you may feel the urge to comment or respond. Try to resist that tendency.
4. Minimize contact if the attention grabber is causing you stress, anxiety, or irritation. If you are bothered by the attention grabber too much, break contact if possible. If not necessary, minimize contact as much as possible.
   • If it concerns family members, you can, for example, call once a month or see each other during family events. But you don't have to keep answering their calls.
   • If the attention grabber is a coworker, say you prefer to only discuss work-related things, especially in the office. If he or she comes to you with a dramatic story, give him or her a time limit before resuming your work.

Method 3 of 3: Support your loved ones

1. Determine if there is an underlying cause for the attention grabber's behavior. Attracting too much attention can be a reaction to trauma, neglect or other stressful situations. It can also be a sign of low self-esteem or a feeling of not being good enough. When it comes to someone you really care about, try to find a time when the two of you can talk quietly, and then see if there is something going on that makes the other person act that way.
   • For example, you can start the conversation by saying, “Hey, I just want to see how you are doing. Is everything going well lately? ”
   • If the other person doesn't want to talk, don't try to force it. Just say something like, "If you do want to talk later, let me know."
2. Boost his (or her) self-esteem if he doesn't actively demand your attention. Your loved one may think that no one cares about him (or her) if they don't get constant attention and approval. Let him know you love him, even if you don't give him immediate attention.
   • For example, you can text him (or her) with something like, “Hey, I was just thinking about you. I hope you have a good day! ” or "I want you to know how much I appreciate what you do."
   • You can also tell him (or her) something like, "Even though we're not always together, you mean a lot to me."
   • It's important to approach him (or her) yourself so that he doesn't get a chance to try to catch your attention. This makes it clear to him that he doesn't need to be in a drama or fight to get positive attention.
3. Tell him or her that he or she needs professional help if you think he or she is going to hurt himself or herself. Extreme behavior can manifest itself in threatening to hurt or kill oneself, lock oneself in a room, or collapse if there is no major reason to do so. These are usually signs of underlying psychological problems. The good news is that your loved one can receive support and treatment from a therapist.
   • You could say to your loved one, "I've noticed that you've been very upset lately. I love you, and I want to make sure you get the help you need."
   • This type of behavior can be a call for attention. Be careful not to see these types of threats as mere attention grabbing. Because the threat can be very serious.
   • Personality disorders, such as the Theatrical Personality Disorder or the Borderline Personality Disorder, can cause a person to act like an attention grabber to the extreme.