Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Taking the first step
• Part 2 of 2: Staying relaxed
• Tips

Today, texting is a normal way to develop a friendship and perhaps blossom into something more. If you want a girl to like you too, texting is one of the easiest ways to connect. So stay calm, get your phone and put your best foot forward.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Taking the first step

1. Ask for her number. SMS only works if you know her phone number. It's hard to ask a girl for her number, but try to be casual about this. A simple one "Hey, I don't think I have your number yet. Shall we exchange numbers?" should get the job done in most cases.
   • When trying to get her number, avoid:
     • Get her number from a friend. If she hasn't personally given you her number, she won't expect you to text her. She may find it scary that you got her number without asking her.
     • Requesting her number via IM or the Internet. Asking her personally for her number makes it very difficult for her to decline. Unless she's really controlled and really doesn't like you, you should be getting this 9 times out of 10.
     • Make it a point. The less it seems like getting her number is important to you, the better. If you come across like it really matters to you, this can put her off a bit.
2. Introduce yourself in your first text if she doesn't have your number. If she gave you her number and is waiting for a text from you, start with something like:
   • "Hey, with Sjors from yesterday. How are you?"
   • "Hi. With Joey. Don't want to bother you for long, but have you seen this video? I didn't know what I saw earlier ...."
   • Or try something with a little self-deprecation if you think you can get away with that:"That guy who just embarrassed himself to get your number? With this one!"
3. Send a text message every now and then. Send some text messages gradually to see how she responds. In the beginning, don't burden her phone with hundreds of text messages. A few text messages a day, followed by a break of a day or two, will show her that you're not completely crazy about her (which can be a reason for some girls to distance themselves).
4. Wait and look for clues that you are doing well. We all have body language. You probably knew that. What you may not have known is that body language can seep into written text. Clues that you are texting her the right things include:
   • Fast responses. Is she really quick to respond to a text from you? If she wants to make it difficult for you, she can make you wait on purpose, so don't hang on to this too much.
   • Laughs and other emoticons. She sends texts all the time saying "haha" or "lol?" That is a good sign. Smileys and other emoticons are certainly also good signals.
   • Flirt back. You know what a flirt is when you see one. If she sends you a message like, "Mmm, I certainly wouldn't want to have missed that" or "When I talk to you, my day is good again" it means that you are doing something right. Keep going!
5. Pay attention to signs that she's not as interested as she could be. Just as there are positive signs you should learn to pick up on, there are negative ones you should pick up on. Note the following when you start texting:
   • She does not respond to some of your messages. She just ignores them. If you message something rude or insensitive, make a mental note of it and don't do it again. Give her some space.
   • She writes back with very few words. If you've sent her some really nice, well-thought-out text messages, and she's just responding with "that's nice," it means that she is not in the mood for it, or that what you have written is not particularly interesting.
   • She's never the one to text you first. If you're always the one to text her, and she never tries to text you, things probably aren't going the way you intended - right now!

Part 2 of 2: Staying relaxed

1. Think about the kinds of things you want to text her about. It may be a good idea to start with general things and gradually work your way up to more personal things.
   • For example, you could initially notify her about parties and events that are coming up.
   • Later you can send her text messages telling her what you are doing and where you are going.
   • Eventually, you can send text messages to let her know that you think about her and what you like or love about her. (Only do this if you're already in a relationship or know she's comfortable with it.)
2. Try to put humor in your lyrics. Text her funny things to make texting more relaxed. If you're funny, take advantage of that. If not, try to develop this with jokes that only you understand, by playfully teasing her, or simply commenting on funny situations that both of you have witnessed.
3. Make sure you read what she writes to you. Respond to questions she asks you in a way that indicates that you've read and thought about the things she's texting. She will appreciate that.
   • Don't always respond immediately after she text you. Wait a few minutes before texting back. Alternate it. Sometimes wait a little longer, sometimes a little less.
4. Don't always try to flirt with her. Don't put it too thick on top of it day in and day out. If you've started flirting, do it sparingly. A little can go a long way. Learn to diversify your texts by texting about:
   • Her daily life. "How are you?" "How was your day?" and "Are you going to have some fun this weekend?" are all normal lyrics.
   • Problems she's dealing with. Let her come to you with her problems. Don't start rooting in her life. But give the best advice if she seems open to it.
   • Things that happen in your life. You probably give her a lot of attention, and that's okay. But maybe, just maybe, she would like to know more about your life. Talk about what you're doing, who you've met, and what you're planning to do. A little can help you on your way. Don't get carried away.
5. Make sure you eventually go beyond texting. When you start developing a relationship with a girl, don't just stick with text messages forever. Ultimately, you will have to step beyond texting and interact with her, call her, and ask her out. If this girl really likes you, that's what she expects from you.

Tips

• Be nice and polite to her. Show her you care.
• Use smiley faces when texting a girl! If she's going to use them too, chances are she'll enjoy talking to you!
• Don't resend the same text if she didn't respond the first time.
• Don't wait endlessly to answer her text messages. She will think you are ignoring her.
• Be yourself, and don't change yourself for anyone. Girls like honest and loyal guys, so keep that in mind.
• Try not to show that you've been waiting for her text message. Otherwise, you will come across as desperate.
• Try to give a few hints that you like her, but don't say it bluntly. You don't want to scare her!