Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Find out what kind of help you need
• Method 2 of 3: Make your request
• Method 3 of 3: Accept help with style
• Tips

Maybe you are a new parent who is overwhelmed with the household, or maybe a college student struggling with a difficult homework assignment. Everyone has been in a situation where they could use some help. Unfortunately, it can sometimes be difficult to ask for help. You may be ashamed or worried that you will be rejected. Do not worry. Once you figure out what you need, make a polite and organized request. Chances are, someone will be happy to give you the help you need!

To step

Method 1 of 3: Find out what kind of help you need

1. List what you need. It's normal to feel overwhelmed in general and just want some help. However, you'll be better prepared to ask for help if you can articulate your needs clearly. For example, say you recently had surgery and need a lot of help getting things done. Your list might look like this:
   • Shopping
   • Go to the dentist with the children
   • Walking the dog
   • Asking for help because of depression
2. Rate each need in terms of urgency. Assign a number from 1-10 to each requirement. A 10 means this task is essential, a 1 means it is not that important. This will help you identify your most pressing needs. You can be the first to ask for help, and then continue working through the list. For example, it is normal to struggle with depression after surgery. That could be given an urgency of 10, as it can affect your ability to take care of other needs.
3. List people who could help you. While it may seem daunting to ask for help from someone, remember that there are probably plenty of people in your life who are eager to help you. Start with family and close friends and then think of other branches of your network. Your list may include:
   • Your partner
   • Brothers and sisters
   • Your children
   • Your best friend
   • Your neighbors
   EXPERT TIP

   Ask different people for each specific need. Now is the time to compare your lists. Choose which person to ask for help for each task. Maybe your sister is a therapist. Ask her for some ideas on how to deal with depression. If your kids are old enough, they can walk the dog. Ask your partner to take a break from work to take the kids to the dentist. Ask your neighbor if they mind bringing a few things for you when they go shopping themselves. Choose people based on their abilities and their relationship with you.

   • This is called delegating. Delegating tasks to people you trust can help you reduce stress, especially during times when you need extra help.
4. Know that it is healthy and smart to ask for help. It's important to remember that it's not weak to ask for help. In fact, it shows that you are strong enough to articulate your own needs. You won't be able to do much good for others if you don't ask for the help you need yourself. It's also smart to ask for help. If you don't, your situation could worsen instead of get better.

Method 2 of 3: Make your request

1. Choose the right time. Do not ask someone for help if they are clearly busy or distracted. For example, do not ask your teacher for help with homework when they are just trying to start class. Also, don't ask your boss for advice when he's just rushing out of the office.
   • If you're not sure if it's a good time or not, just ask. You can say, "I need your help with something. Is there a time when you have time to discuss this? "
2. Dare to bring it up. In most cases, you won't get help if you don't ask for it. Sometimes people hesitate to get up and offer help. If you need something, please indicate it.
   • Maybe you are traveling alone in a new city. If you are lost, ask for directions. Stop at a nearby store, or ask the bus driver which stop you need.
   • You may feel vulnerable when you ask for help, but a certain amount of vulnerability can help you find the help you need. Don't feel weak, insecure, or embarrassed when you ask for help.
3. Be specific. People cannot read minds. Instead of just saying, "I need help," state clearly what exactly you need. For example, instead of saying to your teacher, "I don't understand this. Can you help me? "You say something like," I don't understand how to solve the equation for X. Could you please show me a sample problem? "
   • Instead of telling your partner, "You need to help with the housework a little more," you can say, "Can you take out the trash and do a load of laundry, please?"
4. Make the request in a positive way. Sometimes it is tempting to whine a bit. This can be a defense mechanism if you feel uncomfortable asking for help. It will help if you ask the question in a positive way instead.
   • Don't tell your colleague, "I'm so busy! Could you fill in for me this afternoon at the meeting? "That could mean you're busy, but you don't think your colleague is busy. Instead, say, "I know we're both busy, but you seem to handle the stress better than I do. Do you have time to fill in for me at this afternoon's meeting so I can catch up with work? "
5. Don't put yourself down. Nobody wants to hear that you put yourself down. Don't try to talk negatively about yourself when you ask for help. Instead, act confidently. You will then be more likely to get the help you need.
   • Don't say things like, "I'm that stupid. I will never understand algebra. Can you help me again? "Instead, say," This is complicated, but I know I can. Would you mind showing me another example? "
6. Be persistent. Sometimes the help you get may not turn out to be what you expected. That can be frustrating. However, it is important not to give up. Keep trying to get the right help.
   • Maybe you just had your first mentoring session with your boss. You may feel like you didn't get the kind of helpful advice you were hoping for. Instead of canceling your next meeting, try again. Make a list of specific questions you have for him.
   • If you've asked someone for help and they didn't get through, don't be afraid to ask someone else. Sometimes you have to ask a few people before you get the right help.
7. Build credibility by helping others. People are more likely to be willing to help you if you are known as someone who helps others. Build a reputation as a helpful person. If you see a coworker who has too much on their plate, offer your help. He will probably want to do you a favor at a later time, when you have too much work to do yourself.
   • If your friend is sick, offer to make some food. You will likely receive the same care as you are in the rag basket.

Method 3 of 3: Accept help with style

1. Appreciate the help you have received. Even though you may feel ashamed that you needed help, don't pretend it never happened. Make it immediately clear that you appreciate what the other has done for you. Do this shortly after receiving help.
   • If your teacher has stayed after class to review your paper with you, say, "Thank you for staying. I appreciate the time you have taken. "
   • Maybe your teen did some extra household chores when you had to work overtime. Then say something like, "It was a great help that you already started making dinner."
2. Be sincere. If someone is helping you, it's okay to be a little vulnerable. The other person might appreciate knowing that it really helped you. For example, you could say, "Wow, thanks for babysitting tonight. We really needed a night out! "Showing your need was urgent is a good way to be sincere.
3. Explain how they helped you. Be specific when thanking someone. Let them know exactly what they did for you. You could say to your therapist, "Thank you for this session." I think you gave me some great tools to start overcoming my fears. "
   • You could say to your partner, "Thanks for making dinner. It meant a lot to me to just sit back and relax after a long day at work. "

Tips

• It's okay to ask for help. Everyone needs help from time to time.
• Make sure you thank the other person.
• You could even send your helper a gift or a card to show your gratitude.