Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings
• What do you need

It is possible to be socially active if you are a single mother. Many women have overcome difficulties on the road to success for themselves and their children. Whether you are suffering from lack of time for social life, not meeting other people's expectations, or simply afraid of the unknown, you can overcome it all and start living for yourself again if you follow the instructions below.

Steps

1. 1 Feel like you can start living a social life. You need to stop thinking that taking some time for yourself means being selfish, irresponsible, and unfaithful. It is completely normal and natural to want to socialize with others or have certain interests and enjoy free time without being surrounded by children. If you are still in doubt, consider the benefits such as feeling that you have the strength to live as a single mother and have time to remember pleasant and long-forgotten moments from your past social life. Working and raising children all the time does not mean living a balanced life; your life and your role as a mother will improve a hundredfold if you spend a little more time on yourself.
   • But try not to justify yourself by the fact that it is much more pleasant for you to spend all the time with your children than to do something alone. You may have convinced yourself that you are living this out of necessity, but it can also hurt you children if they see you as the main support and source of friendship in their own lives. It will be best if your children spend some time with other people during their free time from school. And you, in turn, will learn to communicate with adults again!
   • Are you familiar with the situation when a woman convinces herself that the forbidden desire to devote time to herself and the desire to meet a new partner is a manifestation of selfishness, because children come first? Do you think so too? Do not include their names in the list of your regular interlocutors! Of course, this is your family, but you shouldn't put it first.Making responsible choices will make your family happier. You can do this without negativity, pressure, or judgment from other people.
2. 2 Look at everything from a logical point of view. For many single mothers, it is too difficult to organize time for social life, because for this you need to rely on others. Given that single mothers tend to carry everything on their own shoulders, asking someone for help beyond “all obligations” can mean crossing borders. But it's very important to accept that helping other people can help you take care of the children while you spend time with someone else. And there is nothing wrong with that. This does not mean that you are bad; it also doesn't mean you can't do it alone. There are always people willing to help if you ask them - don't be afraid to ask for help if you need to take a break. In practice, this includes the following:
   • Consider someone who can take care of your children while you are away. Do you have family or friends you can rely on? Are your neighbors suitable for these purposes? Do you know women with children? If it suits your situation, your children can also spend time with their own father.
   • If not, consider professional babysitting services. This can save you any anxiety about asking someone to sit with the kids or if you really don't have anyone you can rely on.
   • Consider taking turns with children with other single mothers or a group of single mothers. You can share responsibilities and have someone take care of your children while you are away; so you can be sure that each of you can have time for yourself. This can relieve stress about bothering someone, and it can also be a good way to introduce your children to other children. It is also a way to build good relationships with other mothers who can help you out in emergencies, for example, if you need to go to the hospital with one of the children, so that someone will take care of the second child. Establishing good relationships with other mothers for social reasons can also be beneficial.
3. 3 Choose a time. It may sound corny, but you won't have a social life if you don't want to, which includes planning and permission taking time for herself for something other than caring for the children. Sit down and think about when it is more convenient for you to attend social events; you may be able to do this once a week, once a month, or once every three months. It all depends on you and on what you yourself want in the current situation. But at the same time, one should not think that everything is too complicated, postponing social life for the next year; planning allows you to set a goal, choose a caregiver, arrange a meeting with other people, and save the right amount of money. As soon as you allow yourself think in this way, everything will fall into place.
   • Lower standards for household responsibilities. Do everything conscientiously, but don't try too hard to make everything perfect. Throw away the really unnecessary chores such as perfect ironing, daily cleaning, or separating white from color during the wash. Consider how you can simplify your daily chores around the house so you have more free time. Let the children clean up after themselves or do some household chores. Children can be taught to do this from a very early age. If you do your chores “just enough” rather than perfect, and if everyone in the family does their part, you will have more time for yourself.
   • Your schedule is too busy and you focus entirely on work and caring for the children, simply because you are afraid of feeling lonely if you are alone? If this is your case (be honest with yourself), then try to see these moments in a new light - this is just the time that you can devote to interacting with people!
4. 4 Choose activities that you can afford. It is possible that you are worried about wasting money on entertainment instead of paying your rent, paying for the needs of your children, or buying something for your home.But with careful planning and the right choice of activities, you can have a great time with your friends without wasting too much. Naturally, everything should suit your interests, but here are some ideas for beginners:
   • Visit a museum or art gallery. Depending on where you live, there are special days with discounted admissions or even free admission.
   • Go to the park. Have a picnic or have lunch with friends you haven't seen in ages. The park may also host street performances, or you can simply observe people. You can also play sports, such as jogging in the park or the sports field. And finally, and importantly, if you go to the park, you can relax lying on the grass under a tree and dream to escape from the chores around the house.
   • Go dancing. Dancing is an affordable and enjoyable way to spend time with friends or meet new people. But try not to drink too much; so you will save money and have fun.
   • Have a snack somewhere. Stop by a local café, check out the cheap menu options, or take advantage of restaurant vouchers to save money. You can enjoy your favorite meals in the café or have a picnic in the park.
   • Go study. Attending evening school once a week to learn something new will be beneficial both for gaining new knowledge and for communicating with people. Not all students go to night school for the sake of socializing, but this way you will meet new people and share your interests, as well as improve your knowledge in a particular area! And not all areas of knowledge require continuous study from textbooks. Can you, for example, enroll in a cooking class to learn how to prepare different dishes, or a wine tasting course?
   • Start exercising. The idea here is to go to the gym regularly or play team games. It is a great way to relax and relieve stress, and to spend time with people who also enjoy your chosen sport.
   • Go to the theater or cinema. Look for discounted tickets for higher-priced shows, or save money for a really worthwhile show or movie you "must" see.
   • Go to the bookstore and just take a leisurely look at the books that remind you of the days before you were burdened with caring for children. Sip your coffee while reading the latest news and just enjoy the process.
   • Go shopping at your favorite clothing store. You may even find something at a discount.
5. 5 Take your children with you. This may seem counterintuitive at first, but living a social life doesn't necessarily mean dating or attending adult events, but it also means interacting with your kids during social activities that both you and your kids might be interested in. If you do not have the opportunity to leave your children with someone, then take them with you. There are many places that suit your interests and still bring joy to your children, unless it happens late at night. Consider showing them that you love music, art, and history in the hope that someday they will also be interested in all of this. Although now they may not be entirely interested in it, this or that information will still be deposited in their heads.
   • Connect with friends who also have children to introduce your children to other children. Children can play together while the adults communicate.
   • Take the kids for a bike ride or hike or picnic. Calculate travel times based on your child's age, but don't make excuses that your kids are too young for these activities. Spending time outdoors is good for both you and your kids.
   • Go on a trip together, even if it means just throwing things in the car and driving to another city in a family motel. A change of scenery will benefit all of you. You will be able to freshen up and show yourself in front of your children from a new side! Traveling is a great way to socialize and experience with the whole family without spending a lot of money on it (you can go camping on the weekend, for example).
6. 6 Meet new people. If you find the strength to relate to someone again, don't hesitate. With the help of the internet, you can find the right person and meet him for a cup of coffee after you have a little virtual chat. Not only people with children prefer online dating. This method of communication is preferable for many people, and although not all of your acquaintances can turn into mutual interest, it can still happen.
   • See things realistically and be honest. If you are in a relationship with someone, tell your new friend that you are a single mother. If this option does not suit him, he may not even spend time developing a relationship with you. This is also how you can get to know a person who also has children; they "understand" your situation and will treat you with understanding.
   • If you do not intend to start a relationship with someone, be prepared for the fact that this can destroy the relationship. If it soon becomes clear that you shouldn't meet so often, most likely your partner has lost all interest, so you should consider this point and not exclude the possibility that you may not work out!
   • Avoid socializing your casual partner with your children. Only introduce children to your partner if both of you are serious about each other.
   • Be careful. When you first meet a person in reality, always make an appointment in a public place and do not be alone until you get to know each other better. May your meeting bring you joy and pleasure, because you do not know where your relationship will lead.
7. 7 Talk to other single mothers online and share ideas and tips for social life as a single mother. There are many single mother forums and websites where you can ask questions, get information, or simply share your own experiences. You will learn how other single mothers find time for themselves, and you will also find a lot of useful things for yourself in your particular case. For some single mothers, virtual communication is a way of socializing and making new acquaintances, but be careful that virtual life does not replace the real circumstances of your life.
   • Sites such as Meetup.com contain information on events for single mothers in your area, and if you can't find one where you live, you can organize one yourself. An “event” can be just a meeting with other single mothers at a local café, or something more complicated, like taking turns with the kids, going to a restaurant, going to the movies, or any other fun activity for you.
   • Other opportunities to come together can be found with the help of church workers, community centers, or any other organization that runs activities for children where mothers can talk to each other.

Tips

• The mobile phone is something that single mothers did without in the old days. But the phone will help you find out if everything is okay with your child in your absence, or if you need to immediately run back home. Let the mobile phone be responsible for "what if ..."!
• If you have friends who are still throwing parties, chances are they haven't become parents yet. Whether they are single or married, the parties end instantly when the kids show up.If you feel like you are the only single mom missing out on the opportunity to have some fun at the party, put those thoughts aside. Chat with other mothers, single or not, and work together to help each other find time to socialize.
• Ask for some free time for your birthday or other holidays. This can be a great way to find a caregiver for your child.
• Use creativity to incorporate social life into your daily routine and to embody whatever you want out of social life. There are no rules you must follow.

Warnings

• Be careful when meeting people and never let anyone come to your home if you don't know the person well enough. Especially if you have children at home. Be smart and think about safety; you can even ask your neighbor to "suddenly" drop in on your date, just to check that everything is in order.

What do you need

• Calendar for planning
• A diary reminding you to live a social life
• Nursing contacts
• Vouchers and the like for different events.