Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Emotions
• Method 2 of 3: How to Improve Your Mood
• Method 3 of 3: Moving on with your life
• Tips
• Warnings

Ending a relationship is always difficult. Young people are especially sensitive to emotions and are not always able to control them, therefore, upon breakup, there may be a feeling that the person will never be happy again. The situation becomes much more complicated when you have to end the relationship with the one who became your first sexual partner. The first sexual experience is a very exciting moment that cannot be forgotten. Alas, the fact remains: today almost no one spends the rest of their lives with their first partner. It is important to remember, however, that almost everyone normally experiences such a loss and regains happiness.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Emotions

1. 1 Accept your feelings. At the end of any relationship, there is a period of grief. The person is experiencing loss, so for some time he experiences deep sadness. Just embrace this feeling. At this time, it is useful to cry and think about what happened.
   • Psychologists say that due to the importance of emotional experiences, our first partners tend to be deeply engraved in our memory and retain emotional impact throughout our lives. In practice, this means that you will not be able to immediately get used to the thought of parting. Chances are, you will never be able to forget this person. It's better not to try to forget, but just accept your feelings as they are.
2. 2 Assess the situation. Because of the intensity of the first emotions, people often exaggerate their importance. Modern man views the loss of virginity as an important turning point in life, but in most cases such an event does not become defining.
   • After a few days of sadness, try to objectively assess the situation. You remain the same person you were before losing your virginity.
   • It should also be remembered that only you determine the degree of importance of romantic as well as sexual events in your life. If you don't want to view this moment as most important sexual experience in life is not necessary. It was the first experience with the first person, but in the future you may have another, more important sexual experience with another person. Perhaps the "same" person has not yet come into your life.
3. 3 Avoid negative thoughts. At the end of a relationship, people tend to think negatively of themselves. Especially if another person initiated the breakup. Feelings of rejection can often lead to negative thoughts.
   • If a partner leaves, a person begins to think that he is not good enough and attractive, as if this was the reason for the breakup. It may seem that you will never experience happiness again. It is not easy to get rid of such thoughts if the person with whom you lost your virginity has left you.
   • If you notice such thoughts in yourself, then try to replace them with positive ideas. The ex doesn't want to be with you, but others will. This refusal does not detract from your personal qualities.
4. 4 Look to the future soberly. In thinking about the future, it is important to recognize two things. First, you will find happiness again. Second, you and your ex need to take separate paths.
   • Soberly assess your chances of a happy future. You have experienced happiness before, and you will be able to experience happiness in the future. You will still fall in love with another person.
   • Try not to indulge yourself in the thought that one day you will get back together with your ex. The first feelings are very vivid, but, as a rule, their age is short. Both people are at an age when everything is changing rapidly, while they continue to form as individuals. This is usually the kind of change people get bored. No one is to blame for this, so all that can be done in such a situation is to live on and not interfere with the life of the former partner.
5. 5 Try to contain your sadness. For your own good, try not to grieve for too long. If after a few days you are able to control your feelings, then start moving on.
   • For example, you might decide that you shouldn't be sad about your past relationship for more than one hour a day. Try not to resist your pain twice a day for 30 minutes, but do the rest of the time to distract yourself. After a while, reduce these periods of sadness to twice 15 minutes a day.
   • Some people find that being sad and sad on a schedule is just boring. Ultimately, this is what allows you to lose interest in grief and move on.

Method 2 of 3: How to Improve Your Mood

1. 1 Move away. As challenging as it may be, it's important to distance yourself from your ex as much as possible in an effort to release your current strong feelings. Try not to see each other, call, write messages, and look for an appointment.
   • This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be friends, but if romantic feelings for the person are still strong, it will be more difficult for you to get rid of the memories and move on if you spend time together. Try not to communicate for a while. Later, if such a desire remains, you can become friends.
   • It will be difficult if you are in the same school or even in the same class. You don't need to be rude or pretend your ex doesn't exist, but try not to start a conversation unless absolutely necessary. If necessary, ask your ex to do the same.
2. 2 Chat with other people. In such a difficult moment, there is absolutely no need to strive for loneliness. Share your feelings with a close friend or relative. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
   • Despite suggestions that talking about a former partner can cause feelings of sadness, psychologists have come to the following conclusion: people who regularly talk about ending their relationship are more likely to recover from the breakup.
   • Losing your virginity is a very sensitive topic, so it's best to trust a trusted friend who won't judge you or tell other people about the situation.
3. 3 Get rid of reminders. Perhaps you will never forget your first partner and the very loss of virginity with him, but you do not need to constantly think about it. Remove from the room all objects that may resemble a person.
   • These include gifts, your shared photos, and other reminders.
   • Someone decides to get rid of such souvenirs, especially in moments of anger and despair. Often a person later regrets this decision. Better to put them in one box and put them out of sight. Over time, when emotions subside, it will be easier for you to make the right decision.
4. 4 Keep a diary. Personal notes are a great way to analyze your emotions. Buy a notebook and write down your feelings in it. You can use it as a diary, write poetry, stories or songs about your feelings.
   • This approach is no less valuable than a conversation with a person. The diary allows you to give free rein to emotions and tell about the most intimate.
   • If pleasant events occur in life that improve mood, then they can also be described in a diary. This will allow you to focus on positive change.
5. 5 Get to know yourself again. After breaking up, many people find it difficult to accept themselves. Even in a short relationship, it's easy to come to the conclusion that your connection with the person has become a key aspect of your personality. Get rid of such thoughts and understand that you are a self-sufficient person.
   • Now is the perfect time to think about your goals and try something new. You may find a new hobby, start spending more time with friends, take up physical activity or sports, or change your life in line with long-term plans.
   • Focus on the present moment and gain new positive experiences to move on and deal with feelings for your ex.

Method 3 of 3: Moving on with your life

1. 1 Do not hurry. The uncomfortable aspect of any breakup is that it always takes time to heal.There is no way to speed up the passage of time and skip the tribulation period. Accept that it takes time for you to fully recover. Don't rush things.
   • Psychologists have concluded that it takes the average person 11 weeks to feel positive changes after a breakup. Don't be surprised if it takes a little longer. The situation is complicated by the fact that the first partner is always remembered, so strong emotions are inevitable.
2. 2 Take your time to start a new relationship. It often seems to people that the easiest way to quickly forget a person is to find a new partner as soon as possible. Some people think that having sex with another person makes you forget your ex. As a rule, such attempts lead to negative consequences.
   • If you start a new relationship (or have sex) before you manage to forget your ex, it may end up comparing your new partner to the ex you still love. As a result, a person may feel more alone than they did before starting a new relationship.
   • If you haven't forgotten your ex, rushing into a relationship with a new person can hurt both you and your new partner.
   • If losing your virginity has become an unpleasant experience, then do not rush to have sexual intercourse with another person. A negative "first" experience often leads to the person trying to find similar circumstances and exacerbates the situation. First you need to learn to control your emotions, and only then look for a new romantic or sexual partner.
3. 3 Start new relationships when you're ready. If you managed to forget your ex or at least cope with constant emotional distress, then you can try to start a new relationship. Only you will know when that moment will come.
   • After a difficult breakup, many people are afraid to fall in love again. They are intimidated by the prospect of opening up and showing their vulnerability. After all, some people are worth overcoming and falling in love again. New romantic experiences saturate life and help you understand that breaking up with your “first” partner is not the end of the world.

Tips

• Trust your feelings. People may say it's time for you to let go of the situation, especially in the case of a short-term relationship. The duration of the relationship does not affect the strength of feelings, and only you know how long it takes to move on again.

Warnings

• If you are unable to cope with your feelings, then sometimes you need to seek help from a specialist. If thoughts of suicide or self-harm occur to you, talk to your parent or other trusted adult and discuss the need for counseling.