Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Opening Up Your Feelings
• Method 2 of 3: How to Meet
• Method 3 of 3: How to Build Strong Relationships
• Tips

Are you having trouble falling in love? To do this, you need to become open to feelings and vulnerable, so try to weaken your layered defense. If you don't have the right candidates, start going out and meet people. Stay positive on dates and enjoy dating. Remember that feelings cannot be rushed, so be patient and develop relationships naturally.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Opening Up Your Feelings

1. 1 Recognize your defense mechanisms. Some people build walls so that no one can hurt them. Opening up to someone is always a risk, so it's perfectly okay if you're afraid of letting people get too close. To fall in love, you need to become vulnerable, and understanding your own defenses will be the first step.
   • If you've been in a relationship in the past, remember the times when you closed yourself off from your partner. For example, you were afraid to declare your love for fear that your partner would not reciprocate.
   • Dealing with defense mechanisms is always tricky, as they tend to relate to past grudges. Be honest with yourself and remember that everyone has fears and doubts.
2. 2 Accept the personal aspects that cannot be changed. Nobody is perfect, so embrace yourself plain. It will help you open up to your romantic partner and finally fall in love.
   • A person always has room to develop. For example, you won't force yourself to get taller or shorter, but you can always eat a healthy diet and exercise for your health.
   • Remind yourself that you are a wonderful person with many virtues! Take a look in the mirror and say to yourself: “Don't be afraid to be yourself, you are a good person! Loosen up your defenses and let yourself fall in love. "
3. 3 Change overly critical thoughts. Each of us has an inner critic, but often self-criticism becomes irrational. If thoughts like, "You are not good," or, "No one will love you," come to your mind, stop and remind yourself to be objective.

   Advice: Transform any intrusive negative thoughts. Instead of, “You're doing everything wrong,” tell yourself, “Nobody's perfect, just keep trying. It's not scary to make mistakes sometimes. "

   
   
4. 4 Don't play games. Today, many people like to pretend to be touchy and restrain their feelings. In any case, sincerity is always valuable. Of course, you don't need to share all the details on the first date, but be yourself and don't play games.
   • For example, if you enjoyed a date, don't be afraid to talk about it. If you want to write: “Thanks for a great evening! Everything went great, ”then don't stop yourself. You should not wait three days if you want to call now, or show a lack of interest, so that the person runs after you.
   • Opening up is an important aspect of building close relationships. You don't need to immediately admit your deepest feelings, but falling in love is very difficult when partners are playing games.
5. 5 Don't be afraid of rejection. Unrequited love hurts, but everyone goes through it. You will recover from the blow, even if it seems impossible now, but if you do not risk it, then you will miss out on a rare opportunity to experience all the joys of love.
   • Never take rejection as the end of the world. Relationships don't work out for a variety of reasons. Human incompatibility does not indicate that something is wrong with you.

Method 2 of 3: How to Meet

1. 1 Take action instead of relying on fate. If you don't have a partner, try to start conversations with strangers. Talk to the person in line, say hello to a stranger in a cafe, or sit down with a new person in the dining room.
   • Sometimes it takes an effort to find love. You can't just wait and hope that you will accidentally meet a soul mate. Go outside, get acquainted and try to understand what qualities you value in a partner.
   • Even if you're not going to date the person, talking can help you feel confident in different social situations.

   How to start a conversation

   
   

   "This is the best coffee in town, okay?"

   "Hey! I noticed that you are reading Hemingway. This is my favorite writer! "

   “The weather is just a miracle! I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for spring ”.

   “Only to me yesterday’s homework seemed terribly boring? How do you think? "

2. 2 Find a hobby or become a club member. A new collective hobby will allow you to meet new people and force you to leave your comfort zone. Find an activity that interests you. So you will immediately have something in common with new acquaintances.
   • For example, if you love reading, join a book club. Sign up for a cooking, yoga or mountaineering class, or play basketball or soccer. Pupils and students can find a suitable club in their educational institution. If you have a dog, take your pet to a dog park and meet other dog breeders.
3. 3 Register on dating site. In your profile, briefly describe yourself in living language. Indicate your hobbies, but do not get carried away by talking about yourself. Also choose clear photos in which you smile genuinely and look into the camera.
   • On the Internet, it is important to take your time and rely on intuition. Communicate in applications or on websites, after which you can exchange phone numbers. Talk on the phone before meeting in person and make an appointment in a crowded place.
   • Dating sites are designed for adults. If you are under 18, then meet at school, through mutual friends or in extracurricular activities.
4. 4 Identify the qualities that are important to you in a partner. When making acquaintances, you do not need to rely that everything will turn out in the best way by itself. Intuition plays a role, but you should still make a mental list of the qualities that your partner should have.
   • For example, responsibility, sincerity, and a sense of humor may be central to you. If you have goals like expanding your family or traveling the world, your partner should share your views.
   • Physical attraction can help ignite a spark of sympathy, but it shouldn't be put at the forefront. It is much more important to find someone who accepts you and shares your views.
5. 5 Don't jump to conclusions. Be open-minded when meeting people. Draw a circle of desirable qualities, but do not rush to conclude that the person is not suitable for you.
   • Also, never think that you are unworthy of a person. Always appreciate yourself and take a sober view of the situation.
   • Don't push opportunities away. You may find that you will fall in love with the person you least expected.

Method 3 of 3: How to Build Strong Relationships

1. 1 Let the relationship develop its own way. Eliminate the need to control the outcome of the relationship. In matters of love, the person has little control, so be patient. You cannot fall in love with a person by your own decision or make a person love you.
   • If your lack of control makes you feel anxious, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself, “Don't worry and don't take this too seriously. You feel good next to this person and now this is the most important thing. It's okay if it doesn't turn out to be the love of your life! "
   • Also, you may meet people who, in theory, seem like the perfect match, but the relationship with them will not work out. You can't force yourself to fall in love.If you are dating a person and cannot love him in any way, then consider the situation as an experience. Eventually you will find a more suitable person.
2. 2 Maintain a positive attitude and curiosity. Concentrate on making sure you feel good with your partner. Try to get to know each other, try new things together, talk about yourself. Don't put pressure on yourself or your partner.
   • For example, on first dates, ask questions and show genuine interest in the answers. If you like each other, then you will be curious to know as much as possible about the person.
   • If you've already fallen in love, then don't lose your initial positive attitude and curiosity. Falling in love takes less conscious effort than maintaining feelings. Have fun, share your impressions and keep getting to know each other.
3. 3 Communicate openly with your partner. Communication is vital both in the first weeks of a relationship and after years of marriage. Try to talk to each other as often as possible. Share your fears and hopes, compelling stories, and take an interest in the state of affairs in your relationship.
   • For deep conversations, it is important to set aside time when both partners are free of distraction (for example, during or immediately after dinner). Ask each other open-ended questions like, “What good did you have today?” To avoid getting monosyllabic answers.
4. 4 Discuss your goals and plans. Share your hopes for the future, as well as your views on developing relationships. As the relationship deepens, discuss your common goals, such as getting married, having kids, and buying a home.
   • The ability to meet each other's needs also influences falling in love. Shared goals and mutual help strengthen the bond between partners.
   • It is also important to make sure that you view the situation in the same way. For example, if you are already ready for family life, then it is hardly worth starting a serious relationship with a person who does not want to have children.

   Advice: The time to discuss issues like living together and getting engaged depends on the specific relationship. Discuss such topics gently. So, you can ask: "Do you see yourself as a father in the future?" - or: "When do you think a couple should think about living together?"

   
   
5. 5 Share new experiences so that the relationship does not stagnate. Comfort is good, but you don't want to get bogged down in a routine. Try new things and visit new places together to strengthen the bond between you. If a relationship needs fresh impressions, then invite your partner to diversify your everyday life.
   • Date regularly and don't get obsessed with monotony. Visit new cafes and restaurants, try new dishes, explore different parts of the city.
   • Do bold things and learn skills together. You can go skydiving or sign up for cooking classes, hiking or mountain climbing.
6. 6 Take an interest in each other's personal passions. Encourage each other to have personal interests, not be limited to relationships, provide personal space, provide support in endeavors.
   • For example, your partner is into long-distance running. You like different joint activities, but training is his "outlet". Do not distract your partner during training, but support during the races with the words: "I am so glad that this time you surpassed your best time!"
   • As the relationship develops, partners often feel as if they are losing a piece of themselves. Shared and personal goals can help you maintain love and lasting relationships.
7. 7 Do the nice little things. Little favors are a great way to show your love. For example, leave a note on the fridge: "I love you and wish you a good day!" - or wash the dishes after dinner. Actions of kindness strengthen the senses.
   • If it seems to you that you have fallen out of love with your spouse or regular partner, then pleasant little things can help.Take the initiative to write nice notes, make small gifts, or do errands that your partner doesn't like to do. When your partner sees your efforts to maintain a relationship, they will most likely follow your example.
8. 8 Find healthy ways to resolve conflict. The problem needs to be dealt with calmly and constructively, and not rushed into personal attacks. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. The ability to solve problems appropriately helps not only to fall in love with a person, but also to keep feelings.
   • For example, the words: “It seems to me that I have a lot of household responsibilities. Could you help me a little more around the house? " - will sound constructive. “I'm just tired of your laziness and inaction” is a personal attack.
   • During conflicts, you do not need to hide resentment, remember the past, threaten to part, or condescend to sarcastic remarks.
   • If partners need to cool down, then there is no need to disperse and play in silence. In a situation like this, it’s better to say, “I guess we both need to cool down and pull ourselves together. Let's get back to the conversation a little later. "

Tips

• Don't rush to fall in love with someone just because they are attractive, nice to you, or spending a lot of money on you. True love is mutual respect, trust and compassion.
• Meeting and dating will help you figure out what works best for you. In the beginning, you don't need to take everything too seriously or hope to meet the “right” person on the first try.
• Love can be scary! It takes time to open up to a person and show your vulnerability, so be patient and do not rush each other.
• If you have been hurt in a past relationship, remember that it is not your current partner's fault. Try to let go of the past and live in the present.
• If you are having trouble weakening your defenses or falling in love, try seeing a psychologist. He will help you understand the causes and solve problems.