Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 2: Understanding your loneliness
• Method 2 of 2: Overcoming your loneliness
• Tips
• Warnings

People feel lonely for a number of reasons including social shyness and deliberate abandonment. Everyone experiences loneliness. Fortunately, there are a number of ways to overcome this.

To step

Method 1 of 2: Understanding your loneliness

1. Realize that everyone is lonely at times. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you. People are especially sensitive to loneliness during major changes in their lives, especially changes that need to bring about improvement. If you change as you are exploring new alternatives and avenues for yourself, you will no doubt feel a little lonely looking for people to share your new interests and thoughts.
2. Distinguish between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness is when you are not content to be alone. Being alone is when you are content to be on your own. You are not alone if you want to be with other people. There are people you can connect with and become friends with.
3. Join an online community. It can sometimes help. Share your thoughts and experiences, or ask questions of those in similar situations. Online forums often allow for helping others while helping you too. Also take a look at the ES Foundation that offers emotional support by chat at no cost.
   • Be safe when you are online. Not everyone is who they say they are and predators live on solitude.

Method 2 of 2: Overcoming your loneliness

1. Call or meet with people you know. Even if they're not the one you want to spend time with right now, having human contact will make it easier for you to make new connections. This includes your mom and the man at the deli.
   • Listen more than talk. Listening to and taking in people will strengthen your contacts more than just talking endlessly about yourself.
   • Don't exhaust your existing relationships, they are all you have right now.
2. Participate in activities. Join a sports club or register for a course. Volunteer in your community. If you're very shy, look for a social anxiety group, even if you have to go online for it. Check Craigslist or local news sites for activities in your area.
   • Do not participate in activities with the sole purpose of making friends or meeting people. Try to go without any expectations and have fun no matter what happens. Look for activities that interest you and relate to groups of people, such as book clubs, church groups, political campaigns, concerts, and art exhibitions.
3. Challenge yourself to take the initiative in social relationships. Don't wait for people to come to you - approach people yourself. Ask the person if they would like to have a chat or a coffee. You should always show an interest in other people before they start showing interest in you, if they ever do.
   • Remember, you're trying to make a place for yourself in someone else's life, so be considerate. Don't think you'll instantly win friends just by showing up. It can be a long, tedious process and most of the people you meet already have friends and lives of their own.
4. Spend time with your family. Even if you don't have a great history with a family member, chances are they'll take you to an invite. You can share friends and meet new people together.This will lessen the awkward feeling of being alone in public.
5. Don't allow yourself to wallow. Instead of constantly dwelling on how only you feel, do whatever it takes to keep your thoughts off. Take a walk, ride a bike or read a book. Discover activities and hobbies, and don't be afraid to try new things. Having experience gives you a foundation on which to respond in more social situations (i.e. talking to more people), and start conversations that will interest other people.
   • Keep yourself busy. Having too much free time causes feelings of loneliness. Throw yourself into work or extracurricular activities.
6. Do social activities yourself. Many times it is not the partner or friend you are missing, but the activities and hobbies you have shared. Take yourself out for a date. For example, if you went out for dinner or to the movies on a date, take yourself to a movie or a nice restaurant. While it may seem difficult at first to do things for yourself that you used to do with someone else, don't let this stop you. It is not strange to be alone and do things alone! Once you can remember why you used to do these things, you can enjoy the activity itself again.
   • Take a book, magazine, or diary with you when you go out for dinner or a cup of coffee alone so that you can enjoy yourself at the time when you would usually converse. Keep in mind that people go out on their own for the purpose of "having time for themselves." It's not that people will look at you just because you sit alone and assume you don't have friends.
7. Consider getting a pet. If you're really struggling without companionship, consider adopting a dog or cat from your local animal shelter. Pets have been family companions for a reason for centuries, and gaining an animal's trust and affection can be a deeply rewarding experience.
   • Be a responsible pet owner. Make sure your pet is spayed or neutered, and only consider bringing a pet into your life if you are willing to take on the day-to-day tasks of caring for your pet.
8. Be pleasant company. Attract people by providing fun company. Be flattering instead of being critical. For a casual response, don't nitpick over other people's hair, clothes, or habits. They don't need to be reminded of the small stain on their shirt if there's nothing they can do about it. They need to hear that you think their sweater is cool or that you read their article. Don't make it a big deal, just mention it casually if you want something. This is one of the best ways there is to break the ice, and over time it gradually builds trust as people come to understand that you will not criticize them.
9. If you don't exercise yet, get started and consider joining a gym. This is a good time in your life to work on your self-improvement.

Tips

• Learn to be happy with yourself. When you love yourself or like yourself the way you are, you radiate this. People like to spend time with people who are cheerful and confident.
• Create a positive mood and atmosphere. Realize that solitude is an ideal time to try something new, relax, or nurture your creativity. After all, some of the most famous personalities spend a lot of time alone.
• When you talk about yourself, don't get too personal. This can scare people and lead them to treat you badly. Telling stories about your pet is not too personal. It opens communication with everyone who loves animals and especially those who love your cat (or dog).
• Don't expect vague acquaintances to be really deep friends you can trust in everything. Build that trust gradually and accept it as it is. There's nothing wrong with having a lot of acquaintances, quite a few friends you like to hang out with to share things with, and a much smaller, intimate circle of friends that you trust with your personal things. Think of your contacts as a series of concentric circles.
• Remember, the reason you are self-aware is because everyone is self-aware. People are not focused on your mistakes - instead, chances are they are more focused on their own mistakes.
• Learn to meditate so that you can experience the experience of being loved and cherished emotionally by sources other than humans.
• Realize that one can be "lonely in a crowd." You can have friends, family, and acquaintances and still feel lonely. For some people it is difficult to connect with people around them. In this case, external counseling can help.
• Try not to get stuck in a rut of routines. Routines let you go on autopilot so that you daydream about "what could be." And worse, you won't be performing on those daydreams anytime soon because you are comfortable with your routines. Shake things up!
• Remember, reaching out to someone else who is lonelier than you can give you more happiness than you might think.
• Pamper and love yourself. Go to a spa or beautician to get your hair done.
• Read literature and go to museums / theater / dance. Art touches you.
• Prove to yourself that you can challenge this loneliness and turn it into a motivation to try or learn new things, such as learning to draw or play the guitar. It will make you happier.
• Listen to soft, quiet music, but not too sad. You can also just play or make things or think about funny things that happened in your life.
• Learn to enjoy solitary activities. If you're already having a good time, this attracts people who want to get involved and be happy too. It never fails - when you want to be alone people will come to you and talk to you!
• For people with religious beliefs, consider friendship with people of your faith. Most churches have to have some sort of regular meeting. If your church doesn't have this, consider starting one of your own.
• If you're in school or college, consider having a party or meeting with the new people in your classes. It's a great way to meet new people!
• Sometimes it can be you who brings yourself out. Don't let yourself be such a person, even if you have to go through difficult moments for a short period of time. Better the chance to go out, grab, meet people and try new things. Love yourself so that others can love you too.
• Call or text someone. Maybe you just need to know that someone is there for you.

Warnings

• If you feel lonely, consider taking a break from social media websites like Facebook and Twitter - they don't help your social relationships. Not only can people be cruel at times on these sites, seeing others update their status with fun activities can make you feel even worse. Instead, try to do something outside. Maybe take a long walk, or play with your dog, or spend some time with a sister or brother.
• Loneliness is a state where cults, gangs and other groups take advantage of the vulnerable and will negatively affect them. Be careful and listen to what others have to say about a group you think you are joining.
• Becoming too dependent on online communications as a social meeting point can lead to addiction and more complications. Use it as a tool to meet people with similar interests in your area, and do whatever it takes to meet up with your online friends. It can be a good filter for sorting mutual interests, but don't expect people to be the same in person as they are online.
• You can find bad people in bad groups. Try to find good people in good groups.
• If you have a persistent feeling of loneliness, seek medical attention. It could be a sign of depression.