Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Effective Communication
• Part 2 of 4: Avoiding mistakes
• Part 3 of 4: Move on
• Part 4 of 4: Should You Break Up?

Parting with a person who is not interesting to you is often quite difficult. But if you want to get rid of old feelings, here are some tips to help you. Choose the best way to communicate, avoid common pitfalls, and structure the conversation so that both of you can move on.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Effective Communication

1. 1 Choose the most appropriate time and place. When you want to break up with someone, time and place matter. If you don't want to let the person down, take the time to think about the right place and time to talk.
   • Face-to-face conversation is ideal for difficult situations. People develop, communicate using verbal and non-verbal cues that help during difficult conversations. For example, an impromptu pat on the shoulder is a good-natured sign that can calm a person down, even if the relationship didn't work out this time. A sad look will help your partner see that you are truly worried about his or her feelings, even though you want to end the relationship.
   • If possible, arrange the conversation in a place where your partner will be most comfortable. For example, stop at his / her entrance to talk. You may not feel very comfortable, but you will give your partner an edge to help them get through the bad news.
   • If you think the conversation will be long, try to choose a time when no one and nothing will interrupt you. Don't you dare to part with your partner an hour before he has to leave for work. Better to drive up to his place of work and talk at lunchtime. This will allow you to talk slowly.
2. 2 Take responsibility. If you decide to break up with a person, you need to take full responsibility for your decision. People often feel that it will be easier for them if their partner initiates a breakup. However, you are the person whose feelings have changed. Therefore, the responsibility for this conversation lies with you. If you try to walk in from afar while talking about how you want to break up, it will be dishonest and can be confusing. Your partner may not take the hint, and he will start asking himself what you are trying to achieve.
   • For example, if you become less physically affectionate to show your partner that you are losing interest in him, the partner may question your attractiveness. If you want to make things easier, you need to take full responsibility for your decision.
3. 3 Be open and honest about your feelings. Better to be honest when letting go of the person. Of course, you don't have to go over all the reasons why you wanted to leave, but it is important to be honest about your expectations. Explain why you want to end the relationship, tell the main reason.
   • More often than not, most of the breaks come down to the standard phrase: "You are not who I am looking for."It's okay to say this phrase. Thus, the partner will understand your reasoning and try to distance themselves. You might say something like, “I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore. Now I need something different, and I think our paths diverge. " If you were in a less serious relationship, you can put it more succinctly. Something like: “I'm sorry, but the spark that ran between us has died out. I think it would be better for us to part as friends. "
   • Honesty is important, but it doesn't have to be cruel. There is no need to remind your partner of all past mistakes and put pitfalls. If you want to break up because your partner no longer attracts you, it's best not to say so. If you have lingering feelings of resentment about past fights and arguments, you may be feeling devastated. However, it doesn't make sense for your partner to listen to this. If you want to help the person calm down, it's best to keep your remarks until the end of the relationship, and don't go into excessive detail about your partner's flaws.
4. 4 Don't drag out the conversation. Once again, it is best to be honest and straightforward. You're not doing your partner any good by walking around the bush and not getting to the main topic. Start the conversation with a direct announcement of what you came for: "I wanted to talk to you, because it seems to me that our relationship has dried up." Now keep the conversation going and keep it as short as possible.
   • Parting with a person can be quite difficult, but what is important here is, first of all, composure and calmness. This way you can express yourself concisely and accurately. Being overly emotional can confuse you and your partner. Take the time to emotionally prepare for the conversation by replaying a possible scenario in your mind.
   • You can write down some of what you are planning to say. Cramming speech is not the best way: you will seem too insensitive. You just need to have an idea of ​​what you are going to say - it will help you focus. It is better to scroll the words in your head several times before speaking.
5. 5 Offer to stay friends if you want. Offering some consolation at the end of the relationship will lessen the blow. If possible, invite your ex to stay friends. Say something like, "I hope we can stay friends." However, keep in mind that many people refuse to be friends after breaking up. If you doubt that you will be able to calmly be friends with this person after the breakup, then it is better not to suggest it.

Part 2 of 4: Avoiding mistakes

1. 1 Avoid stamps. When someone lets you go easily, it's important to avoid phrases that your partner might perceive as insulting or pitying. Clichés such as "it's not about you, it's about me" will awaken a sense of injustice in your partner. Better be straightforward, don't use clichés. If you want to end a relationship, it is best to refer to personal experience.
2. 2 Don't blame it. You may feel angry and angry if you want to end the relationship. It can be tempting to blame your ex, especially if he or she actually hurt you. Thus, if you want to break up in an amicable way, blaming your partner is not a good idea.
   • Avoiding negative judgments is the best way to share someone's feelings. Overcoming past mistakes and grievances can lead to quarrels that lead to a painful and unpleasant breakup.
   • If you suspect that your partner will not be able to handle the breakup correctly, keep in mind that he may try to blame you. Don't get caught up in negative conversation. If your partner tries to blame you for your actions or words, simply reply, "I'm sorry you feel this way, but that won't change my mind."
3. 3 Avoid the influence of social media after a breakup. During and after the breakup, social media can be very toxic. If you want to make the breakup easy, you don't need to write anything about it on social networks.Even accounts that you think are not available to your ex can eventually become quite readable. Many people turn to social media when trying to cope with a breakup. But keep in mind that you can seriously hurt your ex-partner's feelings by posting a note about this. Plus, it's a good idea to remove your ex from your social media friendships. During the breakup, it takes time for you to pull back and create space between you. This is necessary in order to move on. This will help differentiation on social networks.

Part 3 of 4: Move on

1. 1 Focus on the good things. You can help yourself and your ex by switching to the positive. At the end of the conversation, it is best to discuss mutually beneficial terms.
   • Note all the good things that your partner has done for you. Make sure your partner understands the essence of the conversation, even if it didn't work out very well. Say something like, “You helped me feel so much better, thanks to you I became more kind and empathetic. I will always be grateful to you for this "
   • Encourage gratitude. Even if it takes a while, remind your partner to cherish and remember the good times you spent together. Relationships are primarily about social exchange, and people have a natural tendency to look for advantages in them. Your partner will appreciate the fact that you help him or her look for positive things, even when the relationship is about to end.
2. 2 Be honest about your relationship. As discussed earlier, it may be helpful to remain buddies. However, there is no need to give false hopes. Be honest about what kind of communication awaits you now. If you need space and time before you can communicate in a friendly way, say so. Don't try to initiate friendships prematurely because it can embarrass you and your ex. You will need time and space so that you can communicate with each other without romantic feelings.
3. 3 Behave properly after a breakup. You will likely run into your ex-partner in the future. Be friendly with meetings that may happen. Be emotionally prepared for them. Keep in mind when you go to work, school, when you do errands, you may run into your ex. Be calm and collected during the meeting.
4. 4 Don't fall for the thought of your ex as your one and only true love. When you are in love, you begin to convince yourself that this is your one and only true love. However, after a breakup, these feelings need to be eradicated. In fact, there are many potentially compatible people out there. You will probably find someone else in the future (despite how you feel now). Accept that the relationship ended for a specific reason, and you are bound to meet someone in the future.

Part 4 of 4: Should You Break Up?

1. 1 Are you sure you want to end this relationship? If not, then don't rush. You need to consider this parting. Do not try to end the relationship by keeping your partner on a short leash. Either you break up or you don't. Playing with the emotions and feelings of a person is too unfair and cruel.
   • If you are hoping that you can get the person to break up with you, do not try to gently lead them to it. Don't expect him to do the job for you - you need to finish it yourself.
   • If the person does not take the hints or is acting too harshly, be prepared to step in and end the relationship permanently.
2. 2 Do you want to completely cut the conversation or try friendships? When breaking up, it's important to understand your goals. If you don't want to see this person, just politely end the relationship. If you want to distance yourself, it's best to be more gentle.
   • A break that is too soft can give the impression that you want everything back. If you don't want to, it's best to end the relationship.
   • If you are being very gentle because you are concerned about your safety, it is best not to. Don't try to be soft and gentle. If you're worried about your partner's reaction, take a friend with you.
   • If you've had any disagreements lately and need some space, be careful so that you can rebuild the friendship after you both come to your senses.
3. 3 Did your relationship just calm down or completely deteriorate? Any relationship has its ups and downs, and it's easy to forget the good times when you're in a bad mood. If you want to break up with your partner just because of an argument, ask yourself if you really do not love your partner, or if you are just having such a period right now.
   • Take your time with this decision. Wait 2-3 weeks to see if your feelings have changed.
   • Many people like a soft break because it gives them a chance to change their mind. However, if you're changing your mind all the time, chances are you're just having a lull in your relationship, not a crisis.
   • If you have the same fights every day, consider breaking up once and for all.
4. 4 Would a quick break be the best option for everyone? Your good intentions are noble, and you still care about the other person's feelings, but ask yourself, are you really doing the right thing by closing the gap? Sometimes it's worth turning off the feeling of pity. If you know the person has invested emotionally in your relationship and doesn't want to end it, you don't need to be gentle when breaking up. Don't renew the relationship if you don't need to.
   • If the person is also moving away from you, and you do not feel the spark, move on and politely part with him.
5. 5 What options are there besides soft break? If you find it unfair or not the best way to end a relationship, consider other options by reading the following articles:
   • How to get rid of manipulative relationships.
   • How to end friendships.
   • Breake down.
   • How to rekindle the fire of a relationship.