Author:
Laura McKinney
Date Of Creation:
9 August 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Communicating with strangers, the people you're dating, and the people you meet at the party can be difficult. How can you know what you should say? Prepare pleasant, interesting conversation topics, and listen attentively to others so you can make yourself (and others) comfortable.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Learn how to chat
Take advantage of the chat. People sometimes skip chatting because they think it's superficial or superficial. However, chatting serves an important social function: it allows strangers to get to know each other without stressing or discomfort. Allow yourself to engage in small chats without feeling bad or shallow. Chatting is also important!
Pay attention to your surroundings. The right conversation topic can pretty much depend on the particular event you're attending. For example, you can't talk about politics at a work event, but it's appropriate to talk about politics at a candidate fundraiser. Likewise, you shouldn't "talk about work" at a friend's party, but you can do this at a work-related event. In general, it's best to:- Consider a common topic that brings you both to the event (work, whom you both know, your common interests).
- Stay away from controversial topics unrelated to the event.
- Maintain courtesy and spontaneity.
Ask a question that is simple but open-ended. Open-ended questions are questions that the other person cannot simply answer "yes" or "no"; instead, it requires deeper, more personal responses. You can ask simple, basic questions to the person you're talking to about their lives, allowing you to learn more about them without breaking their boundaries. As a rule of thumb, you should take advantage of every question you must answer when setting up your online profile.- Where is your hometown? How is it?
- Where do you work? What helps keep busy?
- What do you think about that movie (etc.)?
- What kind of music do you like? What are your favorite five bands?
- Do you read books? What three books would you like to bring to the deserted island with you?
Transform your usual familiarization question into even more unique. There are a lot of traditional chat questions related to your hobbies, job, and family. You should think about a few changes that you can incorporate to deepen your conversation without breaking any personal boundaries. A few good options include:- What is the best surprise life has to offer you?
- What has your friend been with for the longest time?
- What is your ideal job?
- What do you think you would be good at if you had the time to pursue it?
- What do you love most about your job?
Find out about the person's interests. People like to have the opportunity to share their passions; If you have trouble finding a topic on your own, delegate the hard work to that person by asking about their interests, passions, or plans they are interested in. This method will make the person more comfortable. They may even repay you by asking about your interests.
- Who are your favorite writers / actors / musicians / athletes?
- What do you like to do for fun?
- Do you sing or play any musical instruments?
- Do you play sports or dance?
- What is your hidden talent?
Focus on positive topics. People tend to engage more effectively with positive topics rather than negative, critical, or chewable topics. Try to find topics about what you both are passionate about, rather than having to use insults or criticism to create a conversation. For example, don't gossip at a dinner party about how much you hate soup: instead, talk about your liking for dessert.
- It's also a good idea to keep yourself from arguing with the person you're talking to. You should respectfully share your ideas without resorting to negativity.
Focus on quality, not quantity of the story. If you get too absorbed in the thought of having a lot to say, you will probably forget that a good topic will sustain the conversation for hours. Only when you have exhausted your idea of a topic, should you move on to the next topic. Of course, a good conversation tends to go from topic to topic without your effort; if you find yourself thinking "Why are we talking about the topic? this? ”Congratulations, you are having a pretty good conversation!
Be friendly. While the topic of the story is important, your friendly attitude will be even more important in setting up a successful conversation. Your relaxed attitude will help your partner feel at ease - and in doing so, they'll be more receptive to what you say. Smile, be attentive, and show your concern for the well-being of others.
Ask more questions. One of the best ways to find a conversation topic is to encourage the other person to share their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. If the person shares information about their life or tells a story, express interest by asking more questions about it. You need to make sure you ask the relevant question. Don't redirect the conversation to yourself. For example, you can ask things like:
- "Why do you like it (sports / TV shows / movies / bands / etc)?"
- "I like that band too! Which album do you like?"
- "What's the first thing that directs you to (their hobby)?"
- "I've never traveled to Iceland. What do you recommend tourists to do there?"
Soothe a hot conversation. Even if you try to stay away from controversial topics, sometimes they will happen. Whether you or someone else triggers a stressful discussion topic, you can defuse it in a polite, careful way. For example, you could say that:
- "Maybe we should leave this debate to the politician and move on to another topic."
- "This is a difficult topic, but I'm afraid we can't deal with it now. Maybe we should discuss it another time?"
- "This conversation actually reminds me of (the more neutral topic)".
Praise. If you can give the person a sincere, honest, or appropriate compliment, don't hesitate. It can spark a story and help the other person feel valued and at ease. Some compliments might include:
- "I like your earrings. Where did you buy them?"
- "The food you brought to the party was delicious. Where did you find the recipe?"
- "Football is a hard sport. You must be in good shape!"
- You can also talk about the host of the party you're attending, especially if you're both acquainted with the person.
Find common interests, but appreciate the differences. If both you and the person you're talking to share the same story, great. However, you can also take the opportunity to learn about new places, people, and ideas that you are not familiar with. You need to find balance in finding similarities and curiosity about what's new to you.
- For example, if you and the person both play tennis, you can ask about the racquet they like. If you play tennis and the person plays chess, you can ask about the ongoing chess tournament and ask if it is different from the tennis tournament.
Share your right to speak fairly. Finding the right topic to chat with is an important part of being a conversationalist. But knowing when to be silent is also key. After all, you want the person you are talking to enjoy the conversation with you. Try to divide the story 50-50 equally to make sure everyone feels appreciated and appreciated.
Pay attention to current events. It's easy to find something interesting to trade with if you have interesting thoughts about the world. Pay attention to popular news, culture, arts, and sports. They will provide you with an easy way to build interesting stories that can capture the interest of many people. A few great tips related to the current event include:
- Activities of local sports groups
- Important local events (such as concerts, parades, concerts)
- New movies, books, albums, and TV shows
- Notable news
Prove your sense of humor. If you've been given the ability to tell funny jokes, you should use it when searching for conversation topics. Don't impose your sense of humor on others, but you can incorporate it into the story in a polite, friendly way.
- However, you should make sure that your sense of humor is not based on humiliation, excessive sarcasm, or profanity. They can be quite annoying.
Be yourself. Don't pretend that you are an expert on a topic you are not familiar with. You need to be honest and share your passions with others. Don't force yourself to be different from who you really are.
- While being witty, funny, and entertaining can be nice, you shouldn't worry about meeting these high standards. You just need to be the fun, friendly version of yourself.
- For example, instead of pretending to be a Spanish travel expert, simply say, "Oh! I've never been to Spain. What's the point of traveling there?"
Don't be alarmed by conventional or amateur thinking. People are sometimes hesitant to engage in conversation because their ideas are not original, out of the way, or not creative enough. If your knowledge of Monet does not go beyond what you learned in high school, it is okay to share what you know and learn from someone with more experience.
Consider previous conversation with this person. If you have met the person before, you should ask questions that are related to the previous story. Are they preparing for a big project at work or a sporting event? Did they talk about their children or spouse? If you show that you listened attentively during the previous conversation, they will appreciate it and may open up to you.
Think about interesting events in your life. Think about what is weird, interesting, confusing, or funny that happened to you recently. Have you ever encountered something funny or strange coincidence? Remind them to the person as a way to elicit a conversation.
End the conversation politely. If you find that you or the person you are talking to has become distracted or bored, politely end the conversation. Just make an excuse to retreat to somewhere else and start another conversation. Remember that successful conversations don't have to be lengthy: short, friendly stories are also important. Some polite ways to end a story when it's over include:
- "Nice to meet you! I won't bother you to meet other people here".
- "Nice to chat with you about x. Hope we will meet again".
- "I'm afraid I have to come say hello (my friend / landlord / boss). I'm glad to see you!"
Method 2 of 3: Search for deeper topics to discuss
Ask deeper questions as your comfort level increases. Starting with a chat will be great, but a deeper conversation is even more fun. Once you and the person you're talking to are comfortable with a simple question, start asking more tentative questions to see if the person is more open to the discussion. For example, if you are discussing your work for a living, you might ask deeper questions like:
- What is the most rewarding part of your career?
- Have you ever encountered difficulties at work?
- What do you hope to become in a few years?
- Is this the career you have come to expect, or are you going on a non-traditional path?
Recognize the benefits of deep conversation. Even introverts find it happier to focus on the conversation. In general, chatting makes people happier, and real conversation makes people happier.
Slowly examine the deeper topic. Don't rush into an informal conversation with others: you need to slowly introduce the topic to observe the person's reaction. If they look like they are happy to join, you can continue. If they look uncomfortable, you should change the subject before causing any damage. Some examples of how to test potentially dangerous conversation topics include:
- "I watched the political debate last night. What do you think?"
- "I often join active groups in the local church. Do you join groups?"
- "I am passionate about bilingual education, although sometimes, I realize that it is a controversial topic ..."
Keep your mind open. Convincing others about your point of view will lead to negative emotions, while expressing curiosity and respect for others leads to positive emotions. Don't use chat topics like street speeches: use them to engage others. Listen respectfully to their opinions, even if they disagree with you.
Try out a new theme with small details. Sharing small, specific details about your own life and experiences is a great way to determine if others want to join you. If you get a positive response, you can continue the topic of conversation. If not, redirect it to another topic.
Answer general questions with specific stories. If someone asks you a general question, answer it with a brief, specific anecdote about your experience. This approach helps the conversation progress and inspires others to share about your own experiences.
- For example, if someone asks about your job for a living, you could tell a story about something strange that happened to you while on your way to work.
- If someone asks you about your interests, talk about the time when you finished the event instead of simply listing it.
- If someone asks what movie you've seen recently, you can talk about the interesting encounter you had at the cinema.
Be honest about yourself. Research has shown that exposing information about yourself can make others fall in love with you. While you shouldn't over-share, honestly with others about your life, your thoughts and opinions will make them feel more comfortable sharing information about them. Don't be too discreet or reserved.
Poke deeper questions if your audience seems open to it. Questions about ethics, personal experiences, and weaknesses can help build bonds, especially between people who already know each other a bit. If, after trying a new topic, the other person seems open to deeper discussion, consider asking a few more personal questions. However, be sure to rate your partner's comfort level at all times, and turn the conversation to a more casual topic if things are getting awkward. Some of the questions include:
- How were you as a child?
- Who is your biggest role model when you grow up?
- Do you remember the first day of kindergarten? How is it?
- What is the hardest thing you have ever tried not to laugh at?
- What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever seen?
- You are in a sinking boat with an old man, a dog, and a man who just got out of jail. You can save only one person. Who will you save?
- Do you want to die like an anonymous person doing great things or as a hero who never did something for which you are credited?
- What is your biggest fear?
- What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever felt?
- What do you want to change about yourself?
- How different was the life you imagined as a child from your current life?
Method 3 of 3: Demonstrate good conversation skills
Pay attention to eye contact. The normal eye contact is someone who wants to participate in a conversation. Eye contact can also help you determine if a conversation topic is a topic of interest to the other person. If the person seems distracted or looks away, consider changing the topic, asking the person a question, or politely ending the conversation.
Cherish the silence that happens from time to time. Moments of silence will happen, you can cherish them, especially with someone you are quite close with. Don't force yourself to fill up the disruptions in your story with your point of view, questions, and story: sometimes, they are natural and positive.
Intentionally forming a disruption to the story. Once in a while, pause while speaking. This will allow the person to change the subject, ask you a question, or end the conversation if needed. Make sure you are not in monologue.
Compulsive urge to share too much. If you're just getting to know someone, it's a good idea to keep the most intimate details for yourself until you get to know each other better. Excessive sharing can make you appear gossip, inappropriate, or shocking. Stay realistic but have a good level of intimacy until you get to know each other better. Some topics you should avoid over sharing include:
- Physical or sexual function
- Recent breakup or emotional instability
- Political and religious views
- Gossip and obscene story
Stay away from sensitive topics. Topics that people don't like to discuss in the workplace include personal appearance, relationship status, and socioeconomic status. Politics and religion can also be taboo, depending on the context. You need to be sensitive to the audience and try to keep things natural and gentle until you have a better understanding of what they care about.
Stay away from long stories or monologues. If you want to share a funny story, make sure it's short or relevant to your audience's interests. Just because the topic is interesting to you doesn't mean it's interesting to others as well. You can share (briefly) your interest and excitement, and then, observe the audience's response. Let them ask you more questions (if they're excited to know more) or change the topic (if they want to discuss something else).
Don't put pressure on yourself. Keeping the story is not your own responsibility friend- Both of you are responsible. If the other person is not interested in your conversation, find someone else to communicate with. Don't torment yourself for a failed conversation.
Show active listening skills. Maintain eye contact and listen attentively while the person is speaking. Don't be distracted or bored. Show the person you are attentive and interested.
Have positive body language. The conversation will go smoother if you smile, nod, and express interest in body language. Don't move too much, fold your arms, look down at your feet, or keep your eyes on the phone. You need to maintain appropriate eye contact and be openly confronted with the person you are talking to.advertisement
Advice
- If you find yourself having trouble finding a topic to talk about, focus on relaxing for a few minutes. The more relaxed you are, the more creative your brain will be in search of new ideas.
- Praise the person to make them feel more comfortable around you. For example, praise their taste in music or movies, clothes, or even smiles.
- Remember that in order to be able to talk about something, you will have to do what. Find a fun experience to create an interesting story about your life.
Warning
- Humans need time to think. You don't have to fill all the silence with endless worry.
- Don't talk too much about yourself. This will put pressure on you to perform well - not to mention the fact that it quickly gets bored listening to others chatter about your accomplishments.
- Don't be rude.
- Don't talk about the topic too heavily! What causes others to lose interest quickly is to talk about “the big deal” too quickly, especially when you're not sure if the person has a problem. Chatting the weather, your vacation, or the news will tell you quite a bit about each other, without having to switch to "my deep feelings about the world's poverty" or "abdication surgery" . In particular, you should stay away from the political topic (both domestic and international) until you know the person better.
