Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Developing a positive outlook on life
• Part 2 of 4: Controlling Emotions
• Part 3 of 4: Taking care of yourself
• Part 4 of 4: Setting goals and making risky decisions
• Tips

Self-confidence, which is a combination of self-efficacy and self-esteem, is an important component of personality. Self-efficacy is the inner feeling or confidence that you can overcome many difficulties in this life and achieve many different goals. Self-esteem, or self-esteem, is similar to self-efficacy, but it also involves making sure that you are competent enough in a particular area and worthy of happiness. A confident person usually likes himself, is willing to take risks to achieve personal and professional goals, and is optimistic about the future. On the contrary, an insufficiently self-confident person doubts his ability to achieve the set goals, often pessimistically evaluates his capabilities and prospects. However, do not be discouraged, because everyone, with some effort, can increase self-confidence!

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Developing a positive outlook on life

1. 1 Recognize your negative thoughts. These may be thoughts “I cannot achieve this”, “I will definitely fail,” “nobody wants to listen to my words,” and the like. Your inner voice sounds pessimistic and helpless, discouraging you from trying to achieve high self-esteem and boost your self-confidence
2. 2 Put your thoughts in a positive direction. Once you catch yourself on a negative thought, reverse it by making it positive. Positive thoughts can take the form of positive statements such as "I should try to do this," "I can succeed with the right effort," "others are listening to me." Start with at least a few positive thoughts throughout the day.
3. 3 Try to keep the number of negative thoughts not more than the number of positive ones. After all, positive thoughts should take up more "space" in your mind than negative ones. Do this by converting negative thoughts into positive ones.
4. 4 Maintain positive relationships. Try to keep in touch with those relatives and friends, communication with whom charges you with positive emotions. Conversely, stay away from people and things that negatively affect your mood.
   • Someone you call a friend can actually affect you negatively if they constantly make negative remarks and criticize you.
   • Even supportive relatives who force their opinions on what you “should” do can also undermine your self-confidence.
   • As you begin to develop a positive outlook on life and take steps to achieve your goal, these skeptics around you will become more visible. As you become more self-confident, limit your contact with these people as much as possible.
   • Think about the kind of people that add to your confidence. Try to spend more time with these people who support you and increase your self-esteem.
5. 5 Eliminate anything that reminds you of past failures. Try not to spend time with things that bring up unpleasant memories and make you relive past failures. These can be items that remind you of far from the best moments of the past, old clothes that no longer fit you, or places associated with unpleasant memories that reduce your self-esteem. It is unlikely that you will be able to shield yourself from all sources of negativity, but you can well reduce their influence. This self-confidence process will take a long time.
   • Take time and remember all the things and phenomena that have a negative impact on you: it can be unpleasant acquaintances, a career that you do not pay due attention to, difficult life situations.
6. 6 Recognize your talents. There are no absolutely untalented people. Think about what you do particularly well, and focus on your talents. Let yourself be proud of them. Prove yourself in what you are strong in, for example, in the visual arts, music, literature, dance. Find something to do and develop your talent.
   • Diversify your life with different interests and hobbies - this will not only increase your self-confidence, but also allow you to make new interesting friends.
   • Engaging in fun activities will not only have a therapeutic effect, but will also allow you to experience your strengths and uniqueness, which will help increase your self-confidence.
7. 7 Be proud of yourself. You should be proud not only of your talents and skills, but also of your positive qualities. It can be a sense of humor, compassion for others, the ability to listen to others, the ability to cope with stress. You may not see any admirable qualities in yourself, but if you dig deeper into yourself, you will surely realize that you have many attractive traits. Write them down on a piece of paper.
8. 8 Accept compliments with gratitude. Many people with low self-esteem have difficulty accepting compliments; they suspect that the person who praised them is either wrong or lying. If you accept praise in your address with the words "yes, of course ...", rolling your eyes at the same time, or simply brush it off, you should reconsider your attitude to compliments.
   • Accept the compliment cordially and respond positively. “Thank you” and a smile work great. Show the person who complimented you that you really appreciated it; try to receive the praise sincerely and cordially.
   • You can even write down the compliment you receive by adding it to your list of positive qualities: it will build your self-confidence.
9. 9 Look in the mirror and smile. Research in expression theory suggests that your facial expressions can actually stimulate your brain to perceive or enhance certain emotions. Therefore, by looking in the mirror every day and smiling at the same time, you can feel happier and, in the long term, more confident in yourself. It will also help you to be more positive about your appearance and your appearance.
   • A smile will endear the people around you to you, which, in turn, will improve your mood. This kind of feedback will also help boost your self-confidence.

Part 2 of 4: Controlling Emotions

1. 1 Don't worry about the feeling of fear. You might think that confident people never have fear. This is by no means the case. Feeling fearful means that you have approached a growing limit. You may be intimidated when speaking in front of a large audience, meeting new people, or asking your boss for a pay raise.
   • By overcoming your fear, you will become more confident and increase your self-esteem!
   • Imagine a child taking their first steps. So many opportunities are open to him! However, he is afraid that he will fall after taking the first few steps. When the child overcomes his fear and finally walks, a happy smile will overshadow his face! You are in a similar position, overcoming your passing fears.
2. 2 Be patient with yourself. Sometimes it is necessary to step back a little to then move forward again. Self-confidence doesn't come overnight. Sometimes it's helpful to be distracted by something new that isn't directly related to your goal. And in this case also try to learn the lessons. Doing something that, at first glance, does not bring you closer to your goal, will allow you to learn something new about yourself. Self-confidence should be nurtured with care and patience.
   • Suppose you asked your boss for a pay raise, and he turned you down. What lesson can be learned from this? Reflect on the situation. Could you have done something differently?
3. 3 Strive for balance. Like everything else in this world, achieving self-confidence is about maintaining balance. Self-doubt can prevent you from achieving your goals and feeling comfortable. On the other hand, you have to be realistic, otherwise you may underestimate the time and effort required to achieve the goal.
4. 4 Stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to build self-confidence, then you need to focus on improving your own life, rather than striving to make your life similar to that of your best friend, big brother, or celebrities on TV. If you want to become confident, then you should know that there will always be someone who is more beautiful, smarter and richer than you. Just as there will always be someone less attractive, less educated, and less wealthy than you. None of this makes any difference. What really matters is moving towards your own goals and dreams.
   • You may lack confidence because of the thought that everyone else has more than you.Forget about it! In the end, all that matters is whether you are happy by your own standards. If you have little idea of ​​these standards, then it is time to understand them before moving on.
   • Research has shown that people who spend a lot of time on social media are more likely to compare themselves to others. Since people online prefer to communicate their successes, omitting the setbacks and boring details of everyday life, it may seem that others are living a brighter life than you. This is most likely not the case! There are ups and downs in everyone's life.
5. 5 Identify the sources of your insecurities. What does your inner voice tell you? What makes you uncomfortable, what are you ashamed of? It can be anything from acne to regrets about the past, school friends, past negative and traumatic experiences. Whatever makes you feel unworthy, inferior to others and causes shame, identify it and write it down. You can then rip up the tape or burn it by thinking positively about the matter.
   • This exercise is not intended to lower your self-esteem. Its purpose is to make you aware of the problems you are dealing with and empower you to overcome them successfully.
6. 6 Recover from your mistakes. Remember, there are no perfect people. Even the most confident people have flaws. At some point in our life, we may feel a lack of something. This is the reality. Know that life's journey is full of obstacles. How often you feel insecure depends on where you are, who you are with, what your mood is, and how you feel. In other words, the degree of self-confidence is not constant. If you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is admit it, apologize, and think about how to avoid making a similar mistake in the future.
   • Don't let one mistake make you think you won't be able to achieve your dreams. Perhaps you weren't a great guy and your relationship with your girlfriend ended in failure. This does not mean that you are not able to turn the tide and meet your love in the future.
7. 7 Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and prevents you from achieving your goals. If you feel like everything should be perfect, then you will never be truly happy with yourself and the circumstances in which you are. Instead of wanting things that are absolutely perfect, take pride in a job well done. Thinking like a perfectionist will only raise obstacles to gaining self-confidence.
8. 8 Be grateful for what you have. Often, insecurity and self-doubt are based on the feeling that you have something lacks: either emotional support, or good luck, or money. Recognizing and appreciating what you have has already, you will be able to cope with feelings of incompleteness and dissatisfaction. The inner peace that accompanies sincere gratitude can work wonders with your self-confidence. Take time to sit and think about the things that are important to you, from your wonderful friends to your health.
   • Sit down and make a thank you list, writing down everything you are grateful for. Reread it and add at least one item weekly. This will set you up for a more positive and stronger frame of mind.

Part 3 of 4: Taking care of yourself

1. 1 Take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself involves a lot of little things. Take a bath regularly, brush your teeth, and eat tasty and healthy foods. Pay attention to yourself, even if you are very busy and have very little free time.
   • While not obvious, taking care of yourself will make you feel worthy of attention.
   • Once you begin to believe in yourself, you will embark on the path of gaining self-confidence.
2. 2 Take care of your appearance. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt to gain confidence.If you want to feel better, both externally and internally, take care of yourself, shower daily, brush your teeth, wear well-chosen clothes, and take time to look. This does not mean that the look or style will make you feel more confident, but when you start paying attention to your appearance, it will indicate that you are worthy of attention.
3. 3 Exercise regularly. Exercise is one of the most important components of self-care. For some, a short walk in the fresh air is enough, while others can undertake 80 km of cycling trips. Choose a starting load according to your fitness level. You should not overload your body.
   • Numerous studies show that exercise contributes significantly to the positive outlook on life that is so important to self-confidence.
4. 4 Get enough sleep. After 7-9 hours of healthy sleep, you will look and feel more refreshed. Sleep will charge you with positive energy and allow you to look with optimism at the world around you. A healthy sleep will calm your nerves and help you manage stress successfully.

Part 4 of 4: Setting goals and making risky decisions

1. 1 Set goals that are small and achievable. Often people strive for unrealistic and difficult-to-achieve goals, which leads to overexertion of strength or to abandonment of activities (sometimes at the very start). It significantly reduces self-confidence.
   • Gradually build your small goals so that their consistent achievement leads to a larger goal.
   • Let's say you want to run a marathon but are in doubt about whether you can reach the finish line. Don't try to run all 42 kilometers on your first day of training. Start with a feasible task. If you've never jogged before, run one and a half kilometers first. If you are able to run 8 kilometers, you can start training with a 10 kilometer run.
   • Let's say your desk is very cluttered, and you think with horror about the upcoming cleanup. Start with the books by returning them to the bookshelf. Then you can simply stack the sheets of paper in a stack, leaving it to parsing for later - and this small step will bring you closer to your main goal.
2. 2 Don't be afraid of the unknown. People with a lack of self-confidence worry that they will never reach their goal in an unexpected situation. It's time to stop doubting yourself and try something completely new, unknown, different. Whether you're taking a trip to a new country, or letting your cousin arrange a date for you, getting into the habit of accepting the unknown will help you feel more comfortable feeling guided by your destiny, or rather voluntarily surrendered to the game of chance. If you find that you are able to succeed even in a situation that you cannot foresee, then your self-confidence will rise through the roof.
   • Spend more time with people who are adventurous and spontaneous. You will soon find yourself happy to do something unexpected.
3. 3 Choose what you can improve. Surely there is something that you would like to change, but are not able to do it - for example, your height or the texture of your hair. However, there are many things (for example, certain flaws in your character) that you can easily change by setting an appropriate goal and making the necessary efforts.
   • Whether you want to become more social or improve your school performance, you can make a plan and start putting it into practice. You may not be the most popular in your class and rank first in academic performance, but either way, you will increase your self-confidence by embarking on self-improvement.
   • Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't try to change absolutely everything.Take on one or two things you want to change about yourself by starting small.
   • Keeping a journal where you note your progress towards your goals can be of great help. This will make you realize how well your plan is working and feel proud of the steps you have taken and the goals you have achieved.
4. 4 Help other people. If you realize that you are kind to people around you and change the lives of others for the better (even if it will be a good attitude towards the waiter in a cafe serving you morning coffee), then you will understand that you are a positive force in the world, and this will increase your confidence. in itself. Whether you volunteer at your local library or help your little sister learn to read, make helping others a part of your daily life. Providing help not only benefits others, but also increases your self-confidence as you see that you have a lot to offer the people around you.
   • It is not necessary to help someone on the side to feel the benefits of helping others. Sometimes your help may be needed by people close to you, such as your mother or best friend.

Tips

• Do not be afraid to expose yourself to trials that exceed your physical or mental capabilities. Strong tension will show you how easily things can be achieved and thus help you improve your skills. Get out of your comfort zone.
• You can provide yourself with an extra dose of confidence using the Best Me hypnosis technique, instilling in yourself a long-term goal and thus reducing stress.
• Don't dwell on your mistakes and don't focus on negative points. They only highlight your dignity and suggest further ways of self-improvement. There is no feeling better than achieving something that was previously inaccessible.