Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Work on yourself
• Method 2 of 3: Manage Relationships
• Method 3 of 3: Live life to the fullest
• Tips
• Warnings

Realizing your obsession is the first step to improving your behavior. If you are an obsessive person, you become obsessed with the person you just met. And it doesn't matter if it's a simple acquaintance or a date. After that, you, most likely, constantly call this person, all the time suggesting to go somewhere together and feel abandoned if you have to spend some time alone. If you are showing signs of this behavior, or there have been people in your life who have asked you to give them some personal space, then you need to work on your behavior and approach to relationships to become less intrusive. To do this, you need to follow the steps below.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Work on yourself

1. 1 Build self-confidence. Many people are obsessive because they are unhappy with themselves and feel insecure about being alone. Some even think they are being ignored. The obsessive person often suffers from excessive paranoia, believing that others go somewhere without him, because in reality no one loves him. Conquer these feelings and learn to accept yourself. If you are confident in yourself, you will not be obsessed with people leaving you. This means you will be less intrusive.
   • Come up with at least three things that you think make you unique. Learn to love yourself.
   • Enjoy the things you do well, be it running, persevering at work, or making people laugh.
   • Learn the body language of a confident person. Stand up straight, take your hands off your chest, smile more often.
   • Work on your flaws. We all have drawbacks, working on them makes yourself better.
2. 2 Work on your problems with trust. Many people are obsessive because they have trust issues. Perhaps this is due to the fact that they were abandoned in childhood, or their best friend left, or, perhaps, the person experienced the betrayal of a former partner. The consequences of these events can be very painful, but you need to learn how to start every relationship from a new leaf. The past should not leave an imprint on the present.
   • Learn to move away from people or situations that have hurt you in the past. Move towards a better, healthier future with fulfilling relationships.
   • Reassure yourself that obsession won't make others more loyal. In fact, people are more likely to repel intrusive personalities.
   • Don't give up on yourself.You cannot overcome all problems overnight, but you can take incremental steps to become more open and trusting without having to keep them close at all times.
3. 3 Deal with your anxiety. Most compulsion syndromes are rooted in anxiety. People are afraid of being alone, afraid of being left without friends, or afraid that others will laugh behind their backs. You may also worry that you will not be able to build new relationships, so you prefer to keep close to a few close friends so as not to fear strangers.
   • Very often, anxiety is mixed with stress. You may feel anxious that you have so many things to do and worry about, and you may feel like you won't be able to handle it all. Try to reduce your stress levels through meditation, yoga, healthy daily routines, and sleep. You will soon notice that the feeling of anxiety is receding.
   • Take a few deep breaths before entering a room full of people. Tell yourself it's okay to connect with new people. You need to develop, and not walk glued to one person.
4. 4 Talk to someone. If you feel that you are obsessive and too dependent on your mom, boyfriend, or best friend, you need to talk to someone about your problem. You can try opening up to a close friend, loved one, or family member. If you feel like you are losing control of yourself, talk to your doctor or therapist. Your problems may be related to anxiety or depression.
   • Talking to the other person can help you find the root of your obsession. There are many reasons for obsession. Perhaps you grew up in a dysfunctional family or often fought with brothers / sisters for the attention of your parents, or maybe your loved one left you because you did not invest enough in the relationship or, on the contrary, loved to control everything.

Method 2 of 3: Manage Relationships

1. 1 Give people space. This is the best way to maintain a healthy relationship. Whether it's your partner or your best friend, you should know that the person will value you more for the time they spend apart, rather than together. If you are together all the time, you will eventually get tired of each other, because you will not have the opportunity to get bored or do something interesting separately.
   • Give people space when they interact. You don't have to constantly write, call, or suddenly appear. It can be annoying and even rude. Make sure the person you are calling also calls you back.
   • Don't tie people to you. When you tie a person to yourself, you spend all the time with him and demand a detailed account of the past day, preventing him from doing something for himself.
   • Try to spend about three times as much time apart as you do together. Even if you are head over heels in love and do not go to let your beloved man go, you should know that this feeling will not last forever.
   • Enjoy your time apart. You should not consider your interests as a means to kill time before meeting again.
   • Learn to read the signs. If a person needs to be alone, they may not answer calls often, talk about being busy and avoid meetings. Try to back off if this happens. Let the person breathe.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Lisa shield

   
   
   Dating Coach Lisa Shield is a Los Angeles-based dating and relationship specialist. He holds an MA in Spiritual Psychology and is a Certified Relationship and Lifestyle Coach with over 17 years of experience. Has published in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times and Cosmopolitan.

   Lisa shield
   Dating coach

   Try to see your partner as a separate person. Dating and Relationship Coach Lisa Shield says, “If you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, then you may feel vulnerable and threatened.You must understand that the other person also has their own fears and reasons for insecurity. Begin to make compromises with him, and do not consider him an absolute mystery. "

2. 2 Gradually bond with new people. Many obsessive people immediately stick to new people, despite having seen them once or twice in their lives. This can be regarded as a defense mechanism against the fear that the person will not reciprocate and will let you go if you do not persist. Calm down and don't take everything too personally. Try not to meet new people more often than once a week.
   • If you start building your entire schedule around a new person, you are more likely to scare them away.
   • You should not immediately open up and say that you are looking for a new friend, boyfriend / girlfriend. This will scare the person away.
   • Do not initiate every meeting with a new person. Maintain a balance in which you participate equally.
3. 3 Don't babysit anyone. Many obsessive people believe that people need them and their care. The obsessive person loves to give advice and tries to help where it is not appropriate. Sometimes people need your help, but you do not need to motherly patronize every acquaintance, believing that the life of another person will not be complete without your attention and advice.
   • If a person needs help, in most cases he will ask for it himself. Therefore, you should not think that people constantly need your care.
4. 4 Watch your body language. Even your body language can show that you are trying too hard to take possession of the other person's space. If you are close to a friend, do not stand too close, do not hug and touch the person too often, play with his hair and jewelry.
   • Hugs and kisses are great if you are with your significant other, but you don't need to hold hands all the time and not break away from each other during a party or other event.
   • While you should pay attention to the person you are talking to, you don't need to squeeze them into a corner, stare into their eyes and not allow them to communicate with others.
5. 5 Don't let people take you for granted. One of the vulnerabilities of obsessive people is being taken for granted. This is all because obsessive people always near. Thus, your friend or partner knows that you will help or will come, you just have to beckon your finger. Don't let people think that you are always free and available.
   • Make it clear that there are other people around you. Mention your time with them and don't spend all your time with one person.
   • Make it clear that you have other activities, such as a school project, playing soccer, or planning a mother's birthday party. Show people that you are a busy person and that you need to look for space in your schedule to see them. However, you are not going to rebuild your life for the sake of one person.
   • Of course, you shouldn't push your friends away, but you shouldn't immediately answer phone calls or instantly reply to messages. This can give the impression that you have nothing to do.
6. 6 Enjoy keeping a healthy distance. Once you stop being intrusive, you will learn to truly love relaxation from other people. You will have time to solve your own affairs and problems, take care of your own interests and pursuit of goals. You will also learn to really appreciate the person when you meet. A busy and interesting life will make you feel much better than spending all your time with one person.
   • Maintain several or even many wonderful relationships so you don't get stuck with one person.
   • From time to time, try to make sure that the person is not bored with you. Don't be afraid to ask, "Have you gotten tired of me this week yet?" By becoming aware of your obsession, you can quickly get rid of it or learn to avoid it.
   • Think about how much you love yourself now, how you enjoy spending time alone and doing something outside the company. If people see that you are one of those people who are comfortable alone with themselves, they themselves will be drawn to you.

Method 3 of 3: Live life to the fullest

1. 1 Develop your own interests. The easiest way to get rid of an obsession is to live a busy and busy life full of joyful events. If you have nothing to do with yourself, it is likely that you will be looking for entertainment in the person of your partner or friend. If your life is already busy, you will have no time to think about obsession. Try the following:
   • Find yourself a hobby. Perhaps you enjoy taking pictures, doing yoga, or playing the piano. You won't know until you try! Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone by trying something new and time-consuming.
   • Find fun sports activities. Running, rock climbing or kickboxing training is all about learning how to shed excess energy while enjoying it. If you go to a fitness club, make it a rule to go to classes at least two to three times a week. This will create a new routine that doesn't depend on other people.
   • Dedicate a few hours a week to your hobby. This could be songwriting or poetry writing, gardening, jewelry making, or something else. The main thing is that you are distracted by this at least a couple of hours a week. You will not only do what you love, but you will also enjoy your loneliness.
2. 2 Follow your own goals. Pursuing your goal is just as important as developing your interests. This will help you focus on your short- and long-term dreams and aspirations, making you think about yourself first and not the interests of your sister or friend. No matter how old you are, you should always have short-term and long-term goals that will keep you on your toes.
   • Set some short term goals. For example, gain 5 kg or finally read War and Peace. To stay motivated, you can set milestones for each goal.
   • Make a plan to reach your early goal. Maybe you want to go to university with a high score, get a promotion at work, or write a novel? Make a plan to make your dream come true. This will give you enough food for thought before bed.
   • Write down your goals in a journal. A diary helps us not to lose ourselves and helps us see the future in a better light. It will also help you focus on your own self.
3. 3 Expand your social circle. This is another excellent way to get rid of obsession. You are more likely to become clingy if you only have a couple of friends or if your partner is your only friend. The more people you communicate with, the less you are focused on one specific person. Here's how you can expand your social circle:
   • You don't need to have ten best friends. You can ask a friend to have a cup of coffee together, or even turn that acquaintance into a friend.
   • Be friendlier with your colleagues at work and school. It can grow into friendship or just keep you busy for a while. Even if you go to a business lunch with a colleague twice a month, this is already expanding your social circle.
   • Reconnect with old friends. Perhaps, while you were concentrating on one person, you forgot about other close people. Apologize for your behavior and resume the conversation.
   • Don't be afraid to invite people to a friendly meeting. If you like the girl from the party, suggest going to yoga together or having a glass of wine together sometime.
4. 4 Learn to love loneliness. Many obsessive people choose to spend 99% of their time around others. The desire to always be with other people causes fear of loneliness. The ability to enjoy time alone with yourself is very good for self-confidence.This makes a person happier and relieves of the burden and pressure that he experiences among others. Here are some tips on how to learn to love loneliness:
   • Take a long walk. This is not only good for your health, but also helps you collect your thoughts.
   • Love to read. Not only is it fun and learning, a book can be a wonderful companion.
   • Make repairs or rearrangements. If you create a comfortable environment for you, you will not only express your self, but also make your time in this place more enjoyable.
5. 5 Become a volunteer. This is not only a great way to help the community. You will also be able to feel needed and useful. Look for ways to help others in the free kitchen, cleaning the park, or teaching reading at your local library.
   • Once you find something you like to do, volunteer at least 1-2 days a week. This is another way to fill your schedule and not depend on other people.
   • Volunteering can also help you expand your social circle. Make friends with other volunteers and pursue a common goal together.

Tips

• Get close at a distance. Each person in your life is important to you in its own way, just as you are to him. And the more you give space to each other, the more they will appreciate you for not getting into your soul. In turn, the other person also allows you to breathe deeply. Distance is an essential part of a healthy relationship.
• Identify the signs of your own compulsive behavior. Do you see irritation or discontent on the part of the people you want to be closer to? Don't be tempted to manipulate them. It is better to try on the situation for yourself and think about what might annoy these people. Give the person space and go your own way.
• If you are dependent on other people for things like living, grooming, and preferences, think carefully and be honest about why this is happening. Perhaps this is a manifestation of agoraphobia or other mental illness. In this case, you need treatment, since psychological diseases are no less dangerous than physiological ones. However, if you need help for physical reasons, this is not an obsession. Maybe you just need to look for someone else who can help you, contact special professional care services.
• If you are under the influence of a compulsive person, offer to do separate activities that suit that person's area of ​​interest. Help him gradually realize that his interests do not always coincide with yours and that it is better for him to do them alone. Try to find balance and maintain it in joint and separate activities to maintain a good relationship.

Warnings

• Long-term obsession leads to the loss of friends, and sooner or later, everyone's patience bursts. Over time, even the most patient person will feel helpless, as well as the fact that they are trying to manipulate.