Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Be helpful
• Part 2 of 3: Providing support
• Part 3 of 3: Talk about their experience

A friend / colleague may be crying or upset a lot. You may want to help someone who is crying, but you don't know how. Most importantly, show that you care. Give them all the help you can provide and support them whatever they need. Ask a few questions to make sure they feel safe, or see if they need anything. Give them time and let them talk about what they are thinking about. However, don't force them to talk to you.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Be helpful

1. Be there for them. There is often little you can do or say that is actually helpful or helpful. Words provide little comfort. In many cases, the most important thing is just being there. Your physical presence and time is often most appreciated during difficult times.
   • Stay with the person and let them know that you are there and support them. You don't have to talk much, just your presence is enough.
2. Make the person feel safe. Most of the time, people are afraid of crying in front of others, because society sees crying as a weakness. If the person starts to cry in public, offer to go somewhere else, more privately. This can help with any embarrassment they feel. Go to a toilet, a car, or an empty room. Going elsewhere where it is more private can help the person feel safe and able to go through any emotions they feel.
   • If they are uncomfortable, ask "Do you want to go somewhere else where it is more private?"
   • If you are still young (in school or college), do not take the person to a place where you should not be, such as a classroom where no one is. Also make sure you can always find your way out. You don't want to get in trouble!
3. Offer a tissue. If you have a tissue or know where to get one, offer to get them one. Crying gives you wet faces and wet noses, and offering a handkerchief shows that you want to help. If there aren't any tissues nearby, offer to get them one.
   • You can say, "Do you want me to get you a tissue?"
   • Sometimes, giving them a handkerchief can be seen as a sign that you want them to stop crying immediately. Be careful how you come across, especially if the person is very upset or facing a death or breakup.

Part 2 of 3: Providing support

1. Make them cry. It never helps to ask someone to stop crying or tell them it's not worth their tears. Crying makes someone feel better. Emotions that are expressed are better than when they are held back, because pent-up emotions lead to mental illness, such as depression. If someone is crying, make the person cry. Never say things like "Don't cry" or "This is so unimportant, why are you crying?" They share a vulnerable moment with you, so let them express what it takes without telling them how to feel.
   • You could feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable with someone who is crying. Remember that your role is to provide support in a way that is helpful to them, and the focus is not ultimately on you.
2. Ask what they need. They may want you to stay and listen, or they may want some space and time for themselves. Don't assume you know what they want because you don't. Asking what they want and need gives them control, and you the ability to listen and respond. Whatever they ask or need, respect what they say.
   • Question: "What can I do to help?" or "How can I support you?"
   • If they ask you to leave, leave. Don't say things like "But you need me to help you!" Instead, just say, "Okay, fine, but if you need anything, give me a call or text me." Sometimes people need space.
3. Give them time. You shouldn't feel like you are in a hurry or have to do something. Part of supporting someone is being there and giving your time to that person. When you are there to comfort them, give them the time they need. Your presence alone can be comforting, so sticking around and making sure they are able to get on with their day, or get further help, may be what they need the most.
   • Don't stop for just a few moments and then move on with your day. Stay with them and let them know you are staying if they need you. Even when you have work to do, staying an extra few minutes won't hurt.
4. Give them some affection if desired. If you know your friend likes to cuddle, give them a hug. However, if they don't like to touch that much, you can pat them on the back or maybe not touch them at all. If you are helping a stranger, it is better to ask if they want to be touched. When in doubt, ask if they want a hug or if you want you to hold them. If they don't want to be touched, then don't.
   • Question: "Do you mind if I hug you?" Your friends or family may want to be touched before strangers, so don't make things more uncomfortable for the person.

Part 3 of 3: Talk about their experience

1. Don't pressure them to talk. The person may be in shock or may not want to talk. If they don't want or seem willing to open up, don't force it. They don't always want to share their problems, especially if you don't know them well. If you're struggling to figure out what to say, don't think you need to say anything profound. Just being there and saying (or implying), "I'm here to support you" is often enough.
   • You may be comforting someone who never says what upsets them. That's fine.
   • You could just say, “Talking about a problem makes you feel better. If you want to talk, I'm here with you. ”
   • Do not judge. Doing so will make the person withdraw more.
2. Listen carefully. Improve your listening skills and be willing to give your full attention to them. If you ask them what's wrong and they don't respond, don't keep asking. Accept everything they say and focus on listening sympathetically. Give them your full attention, paying attention to what they say and how they say it.
   • Improve your listening skills by making eye contact and responding neutrally.
3. Keep your focus on them. You might think that saying, "I've been through something like this myself" is helpful and enhances the connection, but it puts more of the focus on you and not them. In fact, it can make them feel like you're rejecting their feelings. Keep the conversation going about them. If they talk about what makes them cry, make them talk and don't interrupt.
   • You may want to show that you understand them or talk about something in your life, but resist that urge unless they ask. Your role is to help and support them.
4. Don't come up with solutions right away. If the person is crying and upset about something, don't try to fix the problem right away. It is more important that you talk less and listen more. The person shouldn't even have to say what's wrong, which is fine. It's not your job to solve their problems.
   • Their crying isn't a way of solving their problem, it's a way of expressing their emotions. Let them do that without intervening.
   • This could be difficult if you normally try to avoid crying on your own. Remember that crying is not a sign of weakness.
5. Encourage them to seek out a therapist if they need more help. If the person is repeatedly having trouble dealing with his or her emotions, it may be time to see a therapist. Their problems may overwhelm you, or you may think that what they are going through is best treated by a therapist. Be careful with your recommendation, but let them know it might be a good idea.
   • For example, try saying, “It sounds like what you're going through is really tough. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? ”