Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Heal the wounds
• Method 2 of 4: Tune in Mentally
• Method 3 of 4: Take Care of Yourself
• Method 4 of 4: Move on

Divorce is one of the most overwhelming and emotionally exhausting experiences a person can go through - but that doesn't mean it can't be overcome. If you want to cope with your divorce, you must give yourself time to heal, work on enjoying your bachelor life, and know that you don't have to go through it alone. Going through a divorce takes a lot of time and energy, but you will feel more stable and resilient when you can let go of failed relationships and learn to love your life again. If you are wondering how to deal with divorce, then just follow these tips.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Heal the wounds

1. 1 Give yourself time to grieve. If you want to cope with divorce as well as possible, then you need to give yourself time to grieve. You cannot completely let go of the situation as soon as you drift apart or once the divorce is over. Even if the relationship began to decline a long time ago, you still need time to deal with the emotional pain of ending a relationship with someone you once loved dearly. Instead of denying your pain, you should fight your feelings of confusion, bitterness, and sadness head-on.
   • Allow yourself to cry for a while, that's okay. This is a kind of therapy that will make you feel better - it's better than keeping those feelings to yourself and letting them build up.
   • If you don't want to go out with people, talk to friends, or go outside for a while, that's okay too. While you will feel better when you interact with the world and settle into a comfortable routine, don't expect it to happen overnight.
   • You can keep a diary to record all your thoughts of confusion and pain. It will be easier for you to heal when you understand your feelings.
2. 2 Let go of your regrets. While you may have regrets about the end of your marriage, or regret that you deeply hurt your loved one because you were not there at the right time or didn’t take the time to do the little things that might help the relationship grow, you cannot. spend all the time asking “What if…”.This will only upset you even more because you are trying to change what you have no control over.
   • Try to make a list of everything you regret and then tear it apart. Once you write down everything you regret, it will be easier for you to deal with it.
   • It is likely that your ex is also full of regrets. But remind yourself that this feeling will get you nowhere.
3. 3 Don't go through this alone. Once you're ready to talk to family and friends about divorce, you should open up to a few close friends or family members, or even one close friend or relative, so you don't have to face pain alone. Talk to your friends on the phone, have lunch with them, or even invite them over to help you heal your wounds. You might also consider getting help from a mental health professional.
   • You don’t have to talk about your divorce if you’re not ready for it yet, but you don’t need to keep all the pain in yourself forever.
   • Friends can also offer you good entertainment when needed. A good friend by your side can help you take your mind off your pain. Even if you are suffering from incredible heartache, you may be surprised when it turns out that your best friend can still make you laugh.
4. 4 Accept that this is the end. You may not be able to accept that your relationship is really over, even if the divorce process has already been completed. It takes time to come to terms with the fact that your life with your ex didn’t work out the way you expected, but that doesn’t mean that life will not go on without him. Understand that it's really over, and that no amount of talking, improving, or compromising will change it.
   • You can only move on if you accept that your marriage is really over. Until you do this, you cannot enjoy your new life.
   • Reminding yourself of all the reasons your marriage ended and all the unhappiness you felt will help you appreciate the fact that it’s over.
5. 5 Treat yourself easier. When you begin the healing process, you shouldn't be hard on yourself or overestimate your expectations about how you should behave. Now is not the time to shed those nasty ten pounds that you always wanted to lose, or start working overtime trying to impress your boss. You will be able to move towards achieving your goals when you feel better mentally - until then, just focus on staying afloat.
   • Don't beat yourself up for eating too much, waking up late, or forgetting a friend's birthday. While divorce cannot be used as an excuse for terrible behavior, you cannot force yourself to adhere to the highest standards during a crisis.
6. 6 Cut all ties with your ex, if possible. If you do not have children in common, and you and your ex-partner have shared all the property, then you should not talk, correspond, or even use social media to communicate with her. And while you may feel that spending time with your ex proves you are “mature,” you shouldn't go out for coffee or talk on the phone until you feel like you're really moving on. This can take years, so be patient.
   • If you have children in common, then, of course, you cannot completely ignore your ex. Talk to him when you have to, and be as polite and cordial as possible, but don't use the kids to be able to strike up a long, deep conversation about how you miss each other.

Method 2 of 4: Tune in Mentally

1. 1 Prepare for a lengthy process. Once the wounds have begun to heal, you may begin to realize that it will take a long time to forget your ex.This is not a simple school breakup, or even the end of a relationship that has lasted for several years. Marriage requires more commitment and has likely left you with a lot of baggage, whether it be deciding who will be left with a home, or deciding how meetings with children will go.
   • The sooner you accept the fact that you will not be able to survive a divorce for several weeks, the sooner you will be able to deal with it.
2. 2 Admit your flaws and work on them. While you can blame your ex-partner for the breakdown of the marriage, it is likely that it is your fault as well. There must be at least a few times when you could have acted differently, and there are some personality traits you might need to work on to ensure the success of your future relationship.
   • Make a list of all of your qualities that you would like to change, and make a plan to neutralize them. This will give you a positive way to occupy your time and make you less angry about the end of the relationship.
   • You don't have to make yourself even more depressed. Addressing flaws does not mean that you should feel unworthy and full of negative qualities.
3. 3 Don't jump into new relationships. While you may think that a new relationship will help you distract yourself from your ex, in reality it will only make it worse for you to rush into a new relationship before you have moved on from your old one. If you start dating someone new, you will constantly compare that person to your ex, and spend a lot of emotional energy meeting the new person, while trying to cope with the failed relationship.
   • Throwing yourself into a new relationship will not only make it harder to forget your past, but it will also offend the person with whom you are trying to establish a relationship.
4. 4 Don't involve your children in this. While you may have strong feelings of regret or even hate for your ex after a divorce, do not involve your children in this, or it will only worsen the situation and cause a lot of pain for your children. Even if you and your ex are ready to gnaw each other's throats, you should not show this tension to your children, otherwise they will feel caught between two fires and will not be happy to spend time either with you or with him.
   • Don't say anything negative about your ex to your kids. It will embarrass them and hurt them.
   • When you see your ex, bring the kids, try as best you can to be at least warm.
   • Children will intuitively feel that things are not working out between you and your ex, so try your best to ensure that everything looked fine.
5. 5 Don't make important decisions right away. You may have thought about returning to school, moving to the other side of the country, or quitting your job to pursue a new career, but you should postpone making such important decisions until you feel a little more stable. Wait at least a few months before making important, life-changing decisions to make sure these aren't just the consequences of divorce.
   • If you make an important life decision right after a divorce, then you have to deal with too many changes at once. Wait until you feel a little more relaxed about the divorce, and then consider other solutions.
6. 6 Find your own path to healing. When people hear that you are getting a divorce, your ears will immediately be filled with a barrage of well-intentioned advice, many of which will be useless or unattractive to you. You may be told to have a romance, stop believing in love, try to move on right away, or try to stay insanely busy so you don't even have time to breathe. However, you should find your own path, and not listen to the advice that you hear.
   • Every relationship is different, and the same goes for ending them - so you have to decide what advice is helpful and find your own path to happiness.

Method 3 of 4: Take Care of Yourself

1. 1 Be attentive to your needs. It is important to take a look at yourself and make sure your mind and body are as healthy as they can be during this time of crisis. While it may seem like all you can do right now is lie on the couch and cry, you should eat even when you're not hungry, get out of the house and go for a walk when your body needs exercise, and give your eyes a break from TV.
   • And if you are drawn to ice cream or if you really want to go out all night with girls, but do not admit it to yourself, give in to this desire. Do what your mind and body tell you instead of ignoring your true needs.
   • The sooner you start eating, sleeping, and doing what your body and mind needs on a regular basis, the sooner you can get back to normal.
2. 2 Develop a solid schedule. While you don't need to jam your schedule so much that you don't have time to breathe, you should be as busy as possible so that you don't end up having time to think about your divorce. When you're ready, schedule a few social activities, workouts, hobby time to keep you on your toes and keep you looking forward to something.
   • It is worth trying to schedule at least one event a day that you will look forward to, even if it’s just a call to a close friend or watching that old favorite movie that you haven’t seen for ten years.
   • Goal setting will help you develop a schedule. For example, if you want to run a 5-kilometer marathon, then you will have to devote several hours a week to training.
   • Try to change everything. Don't go back to the schedule you had when you were married, or you will miss your old life even more.
3. 3 Be healthy. While you don't have to jump into a healthy lifestyle right after a divorce, working to maintain healthy lifestyle habits will make you feel mentally resilient and physically stronger. Try to eat three healthy and balanced meals a day, sleep about 7-8 hours each night and at about the same time, and exercise at least a few times a week.
   • Do not overdo it. Don't take your divorce as a reason to lose 20 pounds or be obsessed with healthy food. Just be healthy - in moderation.
   • Exercise will make you feel more energized and positive.
4. 4 Discover new interests. Use your divorce as an opportunity to try things that you never did when you were married. Maybe you've always wanted to take painting lessons but never had the opportunity, or maybe you never had the opportunity to expand your cooking repertoire because you didn't have the time for it. Now you can devote some time to finding love for Italian cuisine, ceramics, or foreign films, enjoy the feeling of expanding knowledge and physical capabilities, and find new hobbies.
   • Browse through the list of suggested activities at your local gym and sign up for the ones you like. Fear not if you are a complete beginner - you will not be alone.
   • A new interest will expand your social circle with interesting, involved people.
5. 5 Change your environment. If you are staying in a home that you shared with your ex, then you may need a space change. It may be impractical or financially impossible for you to leave the house, but you can move things so that your ex's presence is no longer felt in the area.Rearrange furniture or buy new ones, repaint walls, or even invest in a new bed so you can slowly eliminate your ex's presence.
   • If you want to take a little vacation, go visit a friend who lives on the other side of the country. While traveling won't be a permanent solution to your divorce, it can help distract you.
   • You can also change your surroundings by avoiding bars, restaurants, and all places where you and your ex often hang out.
6. 6 Don't use alcohol as a solution to problems. While you may think that drinking will ease your pain and make it easier for you to deal with your divorce, in reality it will only make the situation worse and bring you even more physical and emotional pain. While forgetting about the divorce for a few hours and relaxing can be helpful, don't drink so much that you don't know where you are, lose control, and end up embarrassing and hurting others.
   • If you want a little break from alcohol, let your friends know. Then they will not put pressure on you and make you walk all night.
7. 7 Pamper yourself. You are going through tough times and deserve to be pampered sometimes. Spend the day at the spa, get a massage, or take a relaxing hot bath and watch your stress levels drop. You can even splurge on an expensive haircut, manicure, or a new outfit that makes you feel great.
   • Now is not the time to be hard on yourself or punish yourself. Instead, let your body relax and feel cared for.

Method 4 of 4: Move on

1. 1 Have fun with friendships. When you've recovered from your divorce and are starting to feel like yourself again, take the time to show your gratitude to your friends and understand how much their help and support has meant to you. Take time to have a heart-to-heart conversation, have a fun evening together, or go to a yoga class or camping trip with your close friends. Your friendship will grow when you feel yourself becoming more stable.
   • Use this time to reunite with long-lost friends and see if you can rebuild your friendship.
   • You can also turn acquaintances into friends. Don't be afraid to invite a potential friend for a cup of tea or a movie.
2. 2 Spend time with your family. Use divorce as an opportunity to reunite with your family and spend more time with your parents, siblings, and your children, if you have any. They will know you are trying, will be there when needed, and you can rely on your family no matter what happens. If your loved ones are far away from you, visit them or just call them more often, write and contact your family whenever you can.
   • If you have children, spend as much time as possible strengthening your relationship. They will need you too during this difficult time, and you will be able to help each other.
3. 3 Enjoy the lonely life. After a while, you will be able to enjoy the benefits of living alone. You should not be responsible to anyone, you should not tell anyone (except children) where you will spend the evening, and you can make decisions for yourself, and not ask the other person's opinion about where to eat, what movie to watch, and with whom to spend the weekend.
   • Have fun with going out, dancing and flirting. It won't hurt anyone.
   • If you are single, you can dance with whoever you want, go on a weekend with friends or girlfriends, and do whatever your heart desires.
   • Do not take loneliness as a deplorable state - enjoy independence, meeting new people, and simply by myself.
4. 4 Start dating only when you're ready. After a few months, or even a year or more, have passed, and you feel like you've come to terms with your divorce and are ready to move on, it's time to go on dates again. This could mean setting up a dating site, asking friends to introduce you to interesting single friends, or just opening up to meeting someone new when you go out.
   • Don't jump into a serious relationship right away. Just a few dates with the same person can get you back on track.
   • Do not hurry. Take your time and get to know the person, rather than open up immediately about your divorce.
5. 5 Do what you couldn't do before. Use the post-divorce time as an opportunity to do what you've always wanted, but couldn't do before. Maybe your ex hated hiking even though you've always wanted to go hiking - use this time to become a hiking enthusiast. Maybe your ex-partner hated classic movies - now you can watch them all. Perhaps your ex-partner hated traveling - now you can go on the trip yourself.
   • Make a list of everything you wanted to do when you were married. Check out which items are feasible and have fun crossing them off the list.