Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Make up your mind
• Part 2 of 4: Plan ahead
• Part 3 of 4: Tell Your Wife (and Children)
• Part 4 of 4: Get out of the house

A good deed will not be called a marriage, but divorce is not an easy experience either. What's already there, everything that you go through, divorcing your wife, can remain in your memory as your most difficult life experience. However, even if everything is difficult and unpleasant, you can divorce your wife with a minimum of negative consequences - if, of course, you remain calm and sanity.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Make up your mind

1. 1 Think about what kind of problem is ripening in your relationship - serious or not. A serious problem is one that causes you both significant harm, but cannot be solved. A serious problem means that you need to end this relationship as soon as possible. A not very serious problem, in turn, may well be solvable, and it is worth thinking three times before going for a divorce on a not very serious matter.
   • Serious problems include domestic violence, addictive habits, and adultery.
   • Not so serious problems include the loss of the feeling of falling in love and, say, the belated realization that you have little in common. All this usually serves as a kind of cover for unrecognized problems (when, say, one of the spouses feels ignored, criticized or lonely). In this case, you need to understand where the roots of the problem lie and solve them. Only after that you can think about whether to get divorced.
2. 2 Be honest and realistic. Divorce from your wife will hurt both of you, even if you separate peacefully. If you catch yourself thinking that you are dreaming of an ideal future and want to divorce your wife just for the sake of bringing this dream closer, stop and think again.
   • Let's say you want to divorce your wife in order to start living with your first love or, say, your mistress. In this case, there is every chance that you look at your “future” relationship through rose-colored glasses, while forgetting about the advantages of your marriage or about the consequences of divorce as such.
3. 3 If it makes sense to ask for help - contact us. If you have a problem from the category of frivolous, then try to fix everything with your wife. Talk to your family counselor and see if you can improve the relationship.
4. 4 Apply for divorce. If you are clearly convinced that divorce is the best solution, then apply for a divorce and do not look back. You need certainty, so if your decision to divorce now seems right, then stick to it and do not regret it in the future.

Part 2 of 4: Plan ahead

1. 1 Tell someone. Once you start your divorce proceedings, find someone you can confide in - say, reach out to your best friend who will support you. It is clear that it is not must be your wife or one of her friends. A friend, relative, or even a therapist are good options.
   • This will provide you with emotional support and allow you to make objective decisions even in times when emotions cloud your mind.
   • And that's not to mention the fact that in this case, the divorce process will be safer.
2. 2 Think about where you will live. If you leave home, then you will need to find a place where you will live. If you can't build long-term plans, consider at least where you will live in the first time after the divorce. Please note that the place you have chosen must be available to you for at least a few months.
   • Planning to stay with a friend or relative? Find out in advance how much you can be given shelter.
   • If you are planning to move into your own home, buy or rent it before announcing your intention to divorce your wife. It is advisable to sign all documents up to this point.
3. 3 Think again what exactly you are waiting for. As a rule, even if you need to “live separately for a while,” the case ends up in “divorce”. Think about whether this is what you want, whether you are waiting for it, whether this is the best option.
4. 4 Make a list of everything that has been acquired together. Everything that you acquired in marriage - valuables, assets, real estate, movable property, and so on. Think about how you will share all this later.
   • If all your financial assets are stored in one place, and you yourself live in the United States, then you have the right to half of these funds.
   • Shared assets are what both you and your spouse own. All this should be divided equally. What is yours (say, a trophy razor inherited from your grandfather) is not considered jointly acquired. Make a list of what you have jointly acquired, so it will be easier to understand what you are ready to give to your spouse, and for what you will sue to the last.
   • In addition, you need to remember which services you use together, and which - separately (for example, phones, Internet access). What you no longer use (for example, the Internet in your home) will be your wife's responsibility. Some other services will have to be divided.
5. 5 Find all your documents. Yes, a copy of the marriage certificate including, not to mention everything else. Make copies and keep them somewhere safe (not in your home), which is especially true if you think divorce is going to be problematic.
   • Bank statements, insurance, including social insurance, retirement accounts, documents for transport, mortgages, loans, credit card statements, certificates of ownership of shares, etc. - all this would be nice to copy.
6. 6 Open your own bank account. If you and your wife have a common account, or she has access to your personal account, then secretly open another personal account from your wife and start receiving your salary and other income on it.
   • Of course, keep track of those accounts that you started in your marriage. If your wife decides to show who is the main manipulator in the house, she will begin to withdraw money from the account, just to prevent you from leaving.
   • As a rule, up to half of the funds can be withdrawn from general accounts without problems, but if you do it suddenly, you can give your wife a reason to suspect something was wrong.
7. 7 Take whatever is sweet and dear to your heart in a safe and secure place. Perhaps, if you trust your wife, it will not be necessary. However, if bad feelings persist, then it makes sense to move anything your wife can break or use against you to a safe place.
   • The main thing is to make sure that everything that you removed from the house belongs to you and is not jointly acquired. Gifts and things inherited are exactly that.
8. 8 Hide all weapons, as well as anything that goes for a weapon. Again, if you trust your wife, you can leave the gun at home.Accordingly, if you feel in your gut that your wife is capable of anything, then remove all weapons from the house, so that the wife does not know about it.
   • You, of course, can be piously sure that your wife will not aim a gun at you. However, she may well do something bad to herself after you leave. If there is even the slightest chance that your wife will act in this way, take the weapon out of the house.
9. 9 Make duplicate keys. This, by the way, is universally useful advice, no matter what your spouse is by temperament a woman. Make duplicate keys to your house, car, and whatever else is important. Give the keys to a trusted friend or someone else you can trust.
10. 10 Know when it makes sense to contact law enforcement. As a rule, this is not necessary, but if your wife has already threatened to roll a statement on you (and false) in the past, then it is quite possible that, upon hearing about the divorce, she will take it and do it. Accordingly, it will be appropriate to warn the police that you have received relevant threats earlier.
    • Tell the police about past threats, about the upcoming conversation with your wife, and ask how to protect yourself if she writes a statement.
    • The police, of course, will not take your word for it, they will understand the situation. Nevertheless, if they are warned by you in advance, they will certainly take it into account.

Part 3 of 4: Tell Your Wife (and Children)

1. 1 Write a script. Plan out everything you say to your wife before actually presenting her with a fact. A script and a good memory will come in handy, believe me. Remember everything at least in general terms, without losing sight of anything important.
   • Focus on your reasons for divorce. Do not blame, do not blame the wife for everything, even if inwardly you are sincerely sure that everything is precisely because of her.
   • Write what you are waiting for (a break in a relationship or a divorce) and leave, so to speak, a little space for your spouse to speak.
   • When working on the text, test yourself. Anything written in a moment of anger or specifically to hurt his wife should be immediately deleted or rewritten.
2. 2 Warn a trusted friend. It is possible that soon after talking with your wife, you will need his help. The main thing is to warn the person in advance about when you will talk with your wife so that he is ready to come to your aid.
3. 3 Prepare a thoughtful plan. No need to confront your wife with a fact at a random moment. Think about when, where, and under what circumstances. Organize everything so that your wife has time to listen to you, but until then, do not tell her anything.
   • Do not start this conversation in the morning, before leaving for work, or at a holiday. Pick a time when you can talk as much as you need to, and as loudly as you like.
   • If the question of your physical safety haunts you, choose a crowded place in which you can more or less safely retire - say, a park.
   • Stick to the plan and resist the temptation to tell your wife everything before the due date.
4. 4 Be calm, follow the script. Sit down with your wife somewhere and forward, act according to your scenario. Yes, she will react emotionally, but still try not to turn the conversation into screams. Remain calm, objective, and detached.
   • You should talk to your wife, not yell at her. If necessary, pause to make sure your wife is listening and listening.
   • Be focused and consistent. Remember that your conversation has a purpose. Do not say or do anything during a conversation that could distract you from this goal. You may want to calm your wife down or distract yourself with shared pleasant memories, but that will only make the inevitable a little further and more difficult for both of you.
   • Do not argue about the meanings of the words, just explain as easily and easily as possible how things are and what you will do - so the chances are higher that your wife will understand you.
   • Understand that your wife is at least surprised (more likely seriously offended) by your statement, but still resist the temptation to make the pill sweeter.
5. 5 Tell the children if you have them. If so, think about how exactly you explain to them that mom and dad will no longer live together. If it seems to you that the wife will turn the children against you, then sit with them somewhere in advance and explain everything to them so that the wife is not there.
   • Prepare another scenario, but for the children. Be honest with them, let the children know that they are not to blame for the divorce.
   • Even if your children are already adults, first you need to explain everything to your wife, only then - to them.

Part 4 of 4: Get out of the house

1. 1 And immediately leave the house. Having told your wife that you will no longer live with her under this roof, leave. That evening, preferably (packing your bags and stuff).
   • If you stay under the same roof with your wife, then it turns out that you yourself are asking for trouble. The atmosphere will heat up at the moment, and there it is not far from problems. By the way, if it is you who own the house, then your wife will have to leave - and this is already a separate round of the corresponding difficulties, which is not discussed in this article.
2. 2 Hire a lawyer and start your divorce proceedings. Do not hesitate, it may seem to you that the most difficult thing is over, and you will somehow cope with the legal issues. However, the longer you drag out, the harder it will be to take the next step.
   • Sometimes the court will block your accounts in a special way to protect your accounts during the divorce process, and sometimes such instructions will take effect immediately after the divorce is filed.
   • Again, the wife may not believe your intentions are serious until she gets the papers from the court.
3. 3 Burn all the bridges. Yes, sometimes you manage to remain friends with your ex, but right now - burn all the bridges connecting you and your spouse, but not related to divorce.
   • You will have to interact with each other - on the same issues related to divorce, for example, this is a fact. If you have common children, then you will see your ex-wife even more often. The main thing is, do not allow yourself to succumb to loneliness and call your ex-wife just like that, out of boredom.
4. 4 Keep it up there! A good deed is not a marriage, but divorce is not an easy experience ... but you can handle it. Emotional support from relatives and friends, and legal support from a lawyer, that's the whole secret of success.