Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Starting the conversation
• Part 2 of 3: Questions about what people like and don't like
• Part 3 of 3: Talk about safe sex
• Tips

Talking about sex can seem scary, but try not to get too nervous about it. Be honest when you are attracted to someone and try to keep the conversation light. When you and the person are talking about sex, you can ask what the other likes and dislikes. Talking about what turns someone on can help make the experience more enjoyable for both. While it may be difficult to bring up, have safe sex and ask the other person what kind of protection he or she prefers.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Starting the conversation

1. If possible, talk about intimacy before going to the bedroom. Talking about sex beforehand can help make both of you more comfortable with each other. If you're dating someone, ask when is the right time to talk about taking the relationship to the next level, what the other person thinks about sex, and what he or she likes and dislikes.
   • Try asking "When do you think is the right time for a couple to start having sex?" We should talk about when is the right time for us. "
   • If you are not dating the person you are attracted to, you may not be able to talk about this beforehand. Before it gets serious, make sure you have clear consent and discuss safe sex options.
2. Talk about sex in a comfortable, relaxed environment. When asking if there is an interest, make sure you and your potential partner have some privacy. Try to make the other person feel safe and comfortable and try to read the body language to make sure the other person is comfortable.
   • You don't necessarily have to talk about sex alone in a closed room. You can also do this at a restaurant or in another public place.
   • Be aware of the people around you. Do not ask your partner about sex if there are many people within earshot. The intention is not to draw attention to or make them feel embarrassed.
3. Be honest about what you feel about your potential partner. Be straightforward, warm and friendly and try not to turn it into a play by using cliché phrases. Just be yourself and tell the person how you feel. Make it clear that you find that person attractive, but make sure that all compliments are genuine.
   • Try saying something like "When we kiss I feel electricity flowing through my body." I don't want to pressure you, but I'd really like to take the next step. "
   • Be courteous and respectful. Don't begin by vividly describing the things you want to do to the other person. If that person is not ready for sex, it can deter them.
4. Try to keep the conversation light. Talking about sex doesn't have to be very serious. This is possible when you are talking about a serious topic such as a negative sexual experience or an STI (sexually transmitted infection). But when you talk about what you like or when you make it clear to someone that you want to have sex with that person, try to be playful or make some jokes to keep the situation relaxed.
   • It's okay to get nervous. Some sense of humor can help keep nerves in check. If you suddenly don't know what to say, laugh it off with "Jesus, I sound like Google translate is confused" or just be honest and say "I'm sorry, but I'm a little nervous. Let me start over. "
   • A little laughter can dissipate a lot of nervous energy. However, self-deprecation can kill the mood, so don't make a fool of yourself.
5. Read your partner's reactions when you joke. If you're already joking, assess the situation and make sure the other person thinks it's funny before you go any further. If the other person doesn't seem eager to kiss and touch, slow down and see how they are doing.
   • In the moment, you could say, "You're such a great kisser and you turn me on so much. Do you want to go a step further? "
   • You can also try asking "Wouldn't we be better off going to the bedroom?" Or "Can I touch you here?"
   • If you don't think the other person is ready, stop and ask "Are you okay?" We can stop if it goes a little too fast. "

Part 2 of 3: Questions about what people like and don't like

1. Make jokes to break the ice. Make it clear that you want the other person to experience as much pleasure as possible. You are not supposed to act strangely and ask directly, "In what ways do you enjoy having sex?" Instead, you need to make it clear in an attractive and relaxed way that you care about what the other likes and dislikes and what the boundaries are exactly.
   • While it can be helpful to talk in advance about what the other likes and dislikes, talking about what's arousing can also be very sexy in the moment. Say something like "Where do you prefer to be kissed?" Or "Tell me about something you've always wanted to try in bed."
2. Make it clear that you will not judge the other person. Asking what someone likes sexually or fantasizes about puts the other person in a vulnerable position. Make it clear that you can be trusted and that you will not laugh or judge the person.
   • Trusting something about yourself first can help to make the other person more comfortable. Try to talk about where you like to be touched or which position you really enjoy.
   • Talking about preferences beforehand can make sex more enjoyable, but don't overdo it so you don't leave each other uncomfortable. You are not supposed to share your deepest, darkest fantasies, especially if you don't know each other very well.
3. State what you like, but don't boast about your sexual skills. It's a thing to say you like it when your ear is nibbled or your neck is licked. However, don't go into too much detail about your experiences or talk about past lovers as if they were conquests.
   • Nobody wants to hear everything about the last person you slept with. Bragging about sex kills the mood.
   • You can say "I love to be kissed on the neck," but don't say "Man, I got so excited when my last girlfriend kissed my neck and sucked."
4. Ask about what the other person doesn't like. Turn-offs are not intended to become the main topic of your conversation. However, the experience will be more enjoyable and less strange when you know that a particular spot is extra sensitive or when a particular position is uncomfortable for your partner.
   • While it is good to check every now and then to see if everything is going well and ask "Is everything okay?", You should know that doing that every thirty seconds is a letdown. Try to pay attention to your partner's body language and try to stay in the moment and not think too much.

Part 3 of 3: Talk about safe sex

1. Make sure your partner agrees. Consent must be clear and enthusiastic. If the other person seems uncomfortable or unsure about having sex, try not to pressure. If the answer is no, respect the decision and do not ask for an explanation.
   • The other person may want to kiss and touch, but that doesn't mean that person wants sex.
   • Everyone has the right to change their mind and stop if things get uncomfortable at some point.
2. Try to talk about sexual health before the situation gets physical. Talking about STDs in the moment can ruin the mood, but it is a necessary conversation. Ask your partner if they have been tested in the last 6 months and inform the person in advance of your sexual health.
   • It's best to talk about sexual health with your partner when you are both clear-headed. In the moment, there is a good chance that you will make less thoughtful decisions.
   • If you're already dating and haven't had this conversation yet, don't feel guilty for caring about your health. If the other person is sexually active and has not been tested recently, it is better to slow down until the other has been tested.
3. Ask what type of birth control your partner prefers. Make sure you always have safe sex, even when you and your partner have been tested for STIs and the results have been negative. If you don't have protection on hand, say "This is really hot and I hate to have to stop now, but we need to slow down until we get a condom."
   • Talking about safe sex doesn't have to be a turnoff. For example, try asking what kind of condom feels best or if your partner likes varieties with a flavor or with a certain texture.
   • Try to stay positive when talking about safe sex. Mention that protection benefits both of you instead of phrasing it as if you should try to protect yourself from the other person.

Tips

• Looking your best will give you the best chance of success. When asking someone to have sex, make sure you are clean and neat.