Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

Accepting and realizing disagreements is very difficult for people who seek harmony and cooperation all the time. In any case, without dissent and diversity of opinion, the world would be a very soft and conformist place. Recognizing inconsistencies is a valuable way to learn new things, tempering your own ideas and feasible results, finding answers that everyone can benefit from. Use the following data to embrace the unpleasant.

Steps

1. 1 Remember, disagreement does not mean conflict. Sometimes this can lead to controversy, and sometimes it can lead to discussion and perception. Indeed, if you are ready to participate in the discussion, then most likely, the acquisition of knowledge about the subject or point of view, different from your own, will significantly expand the perception of the problem.
2. 2 Always focus on the problem, not the person. By continually returning to the core of disagreement and focusing on it, you can alleviate an unnecessarily light tendency to defame and fixate on each other's personal qualities. Most of the time, when you are real and follow the right principles, during disagreements, these qualities will remain unshakable - this is a problem and it is necessary for improvement and determination, but not for humanity! If you do have a tendency to invoke and speak unkindly, then read the following:
   • Ask yourself: is this really good? Is this really correct? Is it really necessary?
   • How to let this make it worse for both of us by choosing each other's individual traits, beliefs or physical / personality traits and the problem as such (it won't).
   • Always be prepared to take time out if you feel overwhelmed, angry, or prone to threats and assault. Cooling down is a rule and responsibility, not an afterthought.
3. 3 Express disagreements politely. When someone voices an opinion that you disagree with, there are various ways to express your point of view.There is no need to shout, "you are completely wrong." Never assume that your opinion is the only correct one by saying "as easy as shelling pears", trampling on any opinion other than yours and invalidating their own thought process. This final answer, even more frightening if the person hasn't decided anything yet and is working on options; your comment will lead the other person on your way of thinking. Instead, make a "disarming" preliminary statement before expressing your own opinion as opposed to the rest:
   • "Interesting means you have different points of view. Do you mind if I explain what I mean?"
   • "Really? I made different observations because the circumstances were different ..."
   • I appreciated your ideas in this matter, and I see why you are concerned about resolving the issue in a different way. Perhaps we can consider a way to reduce your workload and give you more free time to try this new approach. "
   • "I just wanted to try a different way from yours, thanks to which it is possible to save time and money. I will be happy to give more information if you are interested."
4. 4 Don't tell people that your opinion is "for their good." There is another tactic with which you can close disagreements, you need to treat your opponent like a small child. Think how effective it is to use this method on children - even less effective on adults! Basically saying, "You're too stupid to come up with a better way out of the situation. I know better and I'm going to impose my opinion on you." This can make the discord worse, rather than suppress it. The moment you say this phrase, the conflict is most likely already at a boiling point, so put out the flame by becoming more accommodating. Try never to use this phrase again. Instead, acknowledge the other person's right to their opinion, pay attention to their successes, and replace the desire to impose their will with something:
   • "I admire what you do and I don't want to redo what you have done. I just wanted to share my experience in case some of my ideas come in handy."
5. 5 Exercises with an open mind. Ask a lot of questions - try to understand why and why the person made a conclusion with which you disagree. You may find out that he has tried something that you have not done, and that experience may shed light on your own beliefs. Many questions and active listening is the best way to learn what they know and provide respite from any current disagreement.
   • Understand that people from different backgrounds and cultures may have completely opposite ideas due to their upbringing and experience. Their experience is as important as yours. Strive to find contact, not look for differences. By combining different points of view, you can find a more universal and stable solution than just imposing an opinion that suits only you and your experience.
6. 6 Use nonviolent communication. To keep the conflict from escalating to a boiling point, communicate empathetically, expressing observations, feelings, requests, and needs directly in that order.
   • Don't confuse the phrase "I understand you" with sensitivity. Say banal phrases: "I understand you, but ..." For example: "I understand everything, but I'm still going to do X, Y, Z, regardless of your actions." As a result of misuse of this term, most people will interpret "I understand" as your indifference to their feelings or preferences, and you will want to end the conversation at this point. Replace "I see" or "I can say" or paraphrase it as if you understand their point of view: "You should be ..." into "You are probably upset about what happened."
   • To truly show empathetic solidarity, try to express an understanding of the problem based on your own experience.For example, say, "I went through something similar in the past and felt the same as you do now." Naturally, this must be true, do not come up with anything.
7. 7 Try not to express your disagreement by apologizing to someone for giving up. "I'm sorry" is meant only to apologize for doing something wrong or hurting a person. This phrase cannot be used to prevent a worsening of the situation or to justify oneself for suggesting one's idea. For example, “I'm sorry I hurt your feelings” is fine, but “I'm sorry, but you're fired” or “I'm sorry for your inconvenience” is totally unacceptable. In the last phrases, the speaker distances himself from the listener and tries to apologize for the action or inaction that he takes in relation to the interlocutor. These are "deviations" and most likely you will immediately feel the same as your opponent when you call the Call Center asking about a recent purchase! Instead, try the following phrases to express your disagreement:
   • The phrase "I'm sorry you don't like what I said, but ..." translates into: "I feel terrible about causing a misunderstanding between us. What can I do to fix the situation?"
8. 8 Embrace the differences. At some point, be sure to thank the other person for their courage in expressing your opinion. Disagreement means your opponent is voicing a different point of view and offering you a chance to expand your horizons. It also means that the other person values ​​you highly and trusts you enough to express differences of opinion in your presence (you can congratulate yourself for being so open). Rule number one, reckon with someone else's point of view, not agreeing with it. For example:
   • "You know, even though I still think our approaches are different, I think yours is much better. Thanks for discussing this with me."
   • "I really appreciate that you took your time to explain your vision of the situation to me. I have not looked at the problem from this point of view before, and it gave a lot of food for thought. I will definitely consider the aspects you raised in further consideration."
   • "I appreciate your opinion. In current affairs, I am obliged to act according to the bylaws, but maybe in the future, we can work on lobbying for these changes, if they are still interesting to you."
9. 9 Know when to agree and when not. If the discussion goes into a dead end, it is probably best to talk about what you agree with. Indeed, the more you insist on being right, the more stubborn your opponent will be. If you press too hard, the other person may disagree on principle. The answer to this includes:
   • Be tactful and diplomatic. Know where to step back or take a break than continue a pointless argument.
   • Acknowledge how you feel about the problem and look for alternative solutions that you disagree with. Win through negotiation, not denial and refusal to budge.
   • Remember that the listener is able to work through details if you step back. Express your preferences, but leave them open to his or her desire to solve the problem in a more constructive way. For example, instead of saying, “You’re too fixated on this idea; senior management doesn’t listen to youngsters,” say, “I know why you want Mr. Preston to understand this. to find free time, but we can give him your idea through a trusted person, if you agree to share it. "

Tips

• Know your limit and the point at which you are ready to "lose" the disagreement. Many people who actively avoid controversy get offended and annoyed too easily because you haven't learned constructive prevention.If so, it is recommended that you work on self-control in such things as nonviolent communication or attend courses on the topic of dealing with disagreements, and also learn phrases and ways of responding in each situation in which you feel excessive pressure from the interlocutor.
  • In the "Joel Osteen podcast," there are five steps from which to form the word P. E. A. C. E. to get a constructive solution to a disagreement with others. It consists of:
  • Plan the right time, think about what you are going to say, so as not to hurt the vanity of the person with whom you disagree.
  • Accept the other person's point of view.
  • Actively look for a way out
  • Focus on agreement. It's not about winning or your own satisfaction. It's about the settlement of relations.

Warnings

• Never expressing disagreement will be a sign of passivity or disinterest in others. By being passive, you can be used by other people; no one likes to associate with such individuals - Dr. Henry Cloud said: "It is difficult to be intimate with a passive person, because you have to guess what he needs." And being disinterested in others can be due to fear, shyness, or other compelling reasons, but be careful, because this behavior can often be mistaken for arrogance and disrespect. Try to work on relationship skills if you are afraid of contact with people.
• Don't confuse disagreement with belittling the other person's ideas. Always show respect for their thoughts and points of view, even if you are not going to agree with them.