Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 2: Evaluate the self-talk
• Part 2 of 2: Stop Talking to Yourself
• Tips
• Warnings

Have you ever noticed that you are talking to yourself? Dealing with yourself is the ghost of great emotional health, but you may have noticed that sometimes it gets in the way of your life and the lives of those around you. There are many ways to learn how to stop talking to yourself, but first you need to understand why you are doing this.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Evaluate the self-talk

1. 1 Think you are talking to yourself in someone else's or your own voice? If you are talking to yourself but hear someone else's voice, you may need to see a mental health professional because this could be a sign of a more serious problem.
   • One way to understand if you are hearing your own voice is to consider if you are responsible for what that voice is telling you.If you do not feel responsible for what this voice tells you (that is, you are speaking these words and vocalizing thoughts unconsciously), and you have not the slightest idea of ​​what this voice might say next time, this could be a sign mental illness, such as schizophrenia, depression, or psychosis.
   • Other signs of mental illness include the perception of more than one voice, the perception of uncontrollable thoughts, visions, tastes, sensations and touch that cannot be called real. If you hear other voices and it feels like a dream that feels real, if you constantly hear voices throughout the day and they negatively affect your daily life (for example, you become detached and aloof because voices scare you if you don't do what they tell you) is also a symptom.
   • If you discover any of these symptoms while talking to yourself, it is very important to talk to a mental health professional about the topic to find out if you have any mental illness that could harm your life and your health.
2. 2 Observe the content of this conversation. What kind of things do you usually talk to yourself about? Are you discussing the news of the day? Planning what to do? Chatting about recent experiences in your life? Do you read the subtitles from the movie?
   • Talking to yourself isn't necessarily a bad habit. Voicing your thoughts will help you organize them better. In addition, it will help you better reflect and analyze your thoughts, especially if you are planning to make a serious and important decision (for example, which college to go to, whether to buy a particular gift for a person).
3. 3 Evaluate whether the conversation you are having is positive or negative. Talking to yourself in a positive tone is very helpful, especially in situations where you need extra motivation, such as a job interview or intense exercise. Telling yourself "you can do it, you can do it!" You can become your own support group. In this case, talking to yourself in a positive tone will be very helpful.
   • However, if your conversation with yourself is mostly negative, if you constantly blame and criticize yourself (for example: "why are you so stupid?", "You constantly do everything wrong!" And so on) - this may be a sign hidden psychological or emotional problem. Also, if elements of your self-talk are repeated and focus on negative things and situations that have happened to you, this can be cause for thought. For example, if you recently had a little squabble with a work colleague, and you spent the last two hours thinking and talking to yourself, discussing what you should say, this is not normal. This is the habit of getting stuck and concentrating on the problem.
4. 4 Evaluate what feelings and sensations a conversation with yourself brings to you. We are all a little crazy sometimes - that's quite normal! But if you want to keep your emotional health in order, you need to make sure that this behavior is just a bad habit and does not negatively affect how you feel and how you spend your day. Ask yourself the following questions:
   • Do I often worry and worry about talking to myself a lot?
   • Does self-talk bring me sadness, anger and anxiety?
   • Is my habit of talking to myself so serious that I try to avoid certain social situations so as not to embarrass myself and feel embarrassed?
   • If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you should discuss the issue with a psychologist or mental health professional.A psychotherapist can help you understand why you are talking to yourself and can work with you on strategies to help you control this habit.
5. 5 Assess how others are reacting to your self-talk. Notice how other people react when they see you talking to yourself. Chances are, most people don't even notice this habit. But if you often notice the reaction of others to your habit, it may be a sign that your conversation with yourself is interfering with others, or these people are just taking care of you and your mental health. Ask yourself the following questions:
   • Do people look at me strangely when I walk by?
   • Do people often ask me to be quieter?
   • How often does it happen that the first thing people hear from me is my conversation with myself?
   • Have the teachers at school ever advised me to talk to a school psychologist?
   • If you answered yes to any of these questions, you really should see a psychologist or psychiatrist. People can react by their reactions to take care of your health. It’s also important to notice if you’re distracting others with your self-talk — this is important for leading a normal social life.

Part 2 of 2: Stop Talking to Yourself

1. 1 Understand your behavior. As soon as you notice that you start talking out loud, immediately try to notice and understand what you are doing. You can repeat to yourself several times a day that you need to catch yourself talking out loud. Beginning to notice your behavior is the first step to stopping it.
2. 2 Start thinking more. Try to carry on this conversation mentally. As soon as you notice that you are talking to yourself out loud, try to continue this conversation mentally without making a sound.
   • You can even press your lips with your teeth so you can't open your mouth. This can help, but keep in mind that it can alert those around you.
   • Try chewing gum to keep your mouth occupied and not express yourself out loud.
   • If you find it too difficult to talk to yourself mentally and not out loud, try to say only a few words. This way, you can calmly continue the conversation without distracting others.
3. 3 Only allow yourself to talk to yourself in certain situations. For example, you can allow yourself such a conversation while you are at home or in your car (alone). But be careful with this step, because once you allow yourself to talk to yourself out loud, you might not hold back and continue this conversation in other situations as well. To limit your monologue, you can set rules for yourself. If you can stick to these rules throughout the week, reward yourself with, for example, watching a good movie or buying yourself something delicious. Going forward, try to reduce the number of situations in which you have to talk to yourself, until you completely get rid of this habit.
4. 4 Record your conversation on paper. Start keeping a journal of your conversations as soon as you start talking to yourself. In this way, you will learn not to say your conversation out loud, but to write it down. One way to do this is to write down your thoughts and then answer them yourself.
   • For example, let's say you went on a date with a guy, but you still haven't heard from him. You might want to talk to yourself about the situation, but instead, you can write down on paper: “Why doesn't he call me? Maybe he's just busy with his studies. Or he didn't like me. Why do you think he might not like you? ? Maybe he's really busy because of his studies. Maybe we won't be a good couple because we have different interests and priorities. Okay, this is possible. But I still feel rejected. I understand the feeling, but this not the last guy in the world, besides, it is much more important that you have a lot of good qualities.By the way, what do I like about myself? .. "
   • Recording these kinds of conversations with yourself will help you organize and analyze your thoughts. It is also a good way to train yourself to think positively about yourself and correct any negative thoughts you may have.
   • Get in the habit of carrying this diary with you all the time in your bag, pocket or car. In addition, you can download applications to your smartphone that allow you to record your thoughts. Another advantage of this method is the ability to sort your thoughts a little and sort them out. First, you can build your thoughts on a template, then include creative elements, and you have something to show!
5. 5 Chat with people. One of the common reasons people start talking to themselves is feeling lonely and unable to talk to someone else. If you become more sociable, you can interact and talk with different people instead of constantly talking to yourself. Remember that a person is successful in interacting with other people.
   • If the thought of talking and interacting with other people bothers you, try taking a few small steps to strike up a conversation. For example, if you have the opportunity to chat with someone who looks welcoming and friendly enough (smiling at you, saying hello, or just making eye contact), try smiling and saying hello back. After you have successfully initiated your first communication a few times, you will feel more confident and ready to move beyond your usual courtesies.
   • Sometimes it is very difficult to notice non-verbal signs and understand how and how much to talk to the interlocutor. Trust is another thing that helps make the conversation more comfortable, but it takes time to build trust between the interlocutors. If you are very anxious and nervous when you have to talk to strangers, this is completely normal. However, it may be a good idea to enroll in a support group or consult with a psychologist to overcome this problem.
   • If you want to meet a lot of people, try doing something new (yoga, handicrafts, dancing). Try an activity that has many more people involved (for example, group yoga is better than running on a treadmill at home). These activities will give you more opportunities to strike up conversations with other people who share your interests.
   • If you live in some remote area, try to communicate with people via the Internet - it will be very convenient. You can go to chat rooms or forums where people discuss what you are interested in. If you don't have an Internet connection, try to communicate using the old old-fashioned way - letters! Communication with other people is an important part of every person's life.
6. 6 Keep busy. Very often, conversations with ourselves begin when we start dreaming or just miss doing nothing - that is why being busy will help get rid of this problem. Try to immerse yourself in a different activity to keep your brain occupied with something else.
   • Try listening to music. When you are alone with yourself and are just walking somewhere, try to keep your brain busy so that you can focus on something other than talking to yourself. Music is a great distraction, and music can also inspire you and bring you new thoughts, awaken your personality and originality. Melodic sounds have been shown to stimulate the release of dopamine in the reward / pleasure center of the brain, which means you will feel better while listening to music. In fact, there is an advantage to just looking like you are listening to music.For example, if you wear headphones and are talking to yourself, people will think that the headphones are a headset from the phone, so they will think that you are just talking to someone on the phone.
   • Read books. Reading will help you discover a new world and help you focus. If you focus on something else, the risk of talking to yourself out loud is reduced.
   • Watch TV. Try watching something on TV that you're interested in, or just turn on the TV for the background. This will help create a certain atmosphere and a sense that the room is "full" and lively. It is for this reason that people who often cannot sleep alone turn on the television before falling asleep. So they feel that there is someone else in the room, although, in fact, he is only on the screen! Watching TV can also help focus your attention and keep your brain busy.

Tips

• Remember that most of the day each of us talks to ourselves (mentally). Therefore, most likely, you are not so different from those around you; you just love to verbalize!
• This most often happens when you feel lonely, insecure, when you lose someone. Stop these conversations with yourself and try to be busy to get rid of these thoughts.
• Press your tongue to the upper palate if you feel that you are about to start talking to yourself. People around you will not notice this, and in our opinion, it really helps to muffle the voices in your head.
• Carry a piggy bank or money box with you and put it in there every time you start talking to yourself out loud. Decide for yourself how much you will contribute each time. Then donate those savings to charity!
• During meditation, concentrate your attention on your lips. Try to touch the tip of your tongue to the oral surface of your upper teeth and stay in this position for as long as possible. As soon as some thoughts interrupt you, try to notice it and let go of these thoughts.

Warnings

• If you understand that you cannot stop your monologue, if your thoughts are mostly negative, if you hear not your own voice, but someone else's, these are all signs of a more serious problem. You need to see a mental health professional as soon as possible to diagnose this condition and discuss possible treatment.