Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Decide on the conversation
• Part 2 of 3: Effective Communication
• Part 3 of 3: End the conversation on a positive note

When a sensitive problem in life becomes serious, it is natural to want to seek help from a mother. Nevertheless, sometimes, due to embarrassment, it can be difficult to trust your mother. This is fine, and there are many ways to make this conversation easier. Prepare ahead of time by deciding when and how to conduct this conversation. Be prepared for a little stress, but be open and polite throughout the conversation. Try to end everything on a positive note. Ask your mom for advice, and at the end, thank you for your time.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Decide on the conversation

1. 1 Find the right time to talk. If you want to talk about something potentially uncomfortable, then it's important to find the right time and place. Trying to talk to your mom when she is busy or upset will only make the uncomfortable conversation more stressful.
   • Choose a time when neither you nor your mom will be limited in time. If the topic is rather immodest or personal, make sure you can discuss the matter as much as you need to.
   • It is also worth choosing a time when both you and your mother will be in a good mood. You probably won't want to discuss some awkward question with her when you are already in a bad mood. If both of you are not usually busy on Saturday, it is probably best to talk on that particular day, because both of you will be calm and relaxed.
2. 2 Be prepared to be embarrassed. If you decide to talk about something personal with your parent, chances are, the conversation will go off with some degree of embarrassment. This is fine. It will be easier for you to deal with this situation if you are prepared for the fact that you may be embarrassed.
   • Don't try to shield yourself from feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness. This will only make you more focused on these feelings.
   • Instead, accept the fact that awkwardness is most likely unavoidable and remind yourself why it is important for you to discuss the issue. For example, you might want to talk to your mom about sex or dating. Although it is not easy to bring up such a topic, Mom can give you valuable advice on this matter, because she is older and more experienced.
3. 3 Think about what you want to take away from this conversation. You shouldn't start a conversation without the slightest idea of ​​what you want. If you decide to tell your mom about something personal, then you probably have a specific reason. Think about why you want to talk to your mom about this topic. Knowing what you want also helps you better direct the conversation.
   • Perhaps you want your mom to just listen to you. If you're having an embarrassing personal problem, you may just want to talk to someone. In this case, it is better to tell your mom that you are not looking for advice or guidance.
   • But, perhaps, you are just looking for advice in some matter. Consider if your mom's input will be helpful.If you need advice, you can ask directly for it. For example: "Mom, I wanted to ask you for advice on one question."

Part 2 of 3: Effective Communication

1. 1 Start a conversation. You may be very anxious and afraid to start a conversation. However, this can be done with one simple sentence. Take a few deep breaths in and out, walk up to your mom and start talking.
   • Start simple. For example: “Mom, do you have a minute? I want to talk to you about something. "
   • If you're worried that your mom will be angry, try to warn her about it. For example: “Mom, something happened that might make you angry. But I need to talk to you about it anyway, even if you end up getting angry with me. ”
2. 2 Be direct. It makes no sense to beat around the bush. If you need to talk about something important, get down to business immediately, without hesitation. Being as honest and direct as possible can help start an open and honest conversation.
   • Tell your mom everything she needs to know to fully understand the situation. Avoid hints, go straight to the point.
   • Start with a clear, direct sentence: “Mom, I've been dating Dima for some time now, and he wants to have sex for the first time. I'm not sure if I'm ready, but he continues to insist. I don't know what is the best way to proceed. "
3. 3 Listen to your mom's point of view. You may not feel like listening to guidance, but this is one of the functions of a parent. Even if you disagree with your mom, let her express her opinion without interrupting her.
   • Try to understand your mom's point of view. If she upsets you, stop and try to put yourself in her shoes. Think about why your mom might feel this way about the situation.
   • Let's say you tell your mom that one of your friends is experimenting with drugs. At the same time, mom reacts very negatively to your words. In such a situation, it may seem to you that your mother is behaving reprehensibly, however, it is possible that in her younger years she had a friend who developed a serious addiction due to such experiments. This is probably the reason for her negative reaction.
4. 4 Be polite and respectful throughout the conversation. If you share something personal, there is always the possibility that your mom will react differently than you would like. She may be upset, agitated, or even angry. But despite your mom's reaction, try to stay calm yourself. Otherwise, the situation may develop into a quarrel, and this will not help you to discuss the problem and understand it.
   • Don't forget about basic manners. Don't interrupt or raise your tone.
   • Always confirm that you heard your mom's opinion, even if you didn't like it. For example: "I understand - you think that Natasha has a bad influence on me, but she is deeply not indifferent to me as a friend."

Part 3 of 3: End the conversation on a positive note

1. 1 Avoid quarrels. Don't let the discussion turn into an argument. Even if your mom reacts negatively, don't fight her. Keep a calm and respectful tone throughout the conversation, even if you think your mom is being unfair.
   • If you feel like you're losing your temper, pause. Say something like, “It seems to me that we cannot understand each other in any way. Maybe we can take a break and come back to this topic later? "
   • Then you can take action to release the anger, such as going for a walk or talking to a friend.
2. 2 Deal with negative reactions. Mom may not react the way you would like. She may get angry, punish you, or even establish a new rule about your behavior. If your mom's reaction is negative, try to deal with it effectively.
   • If your mom lectures you or her words are of little use, let her know. Say something like, “I really don't need advice. I just wanted to talk. "
   • If your mother establishes a new rule about your behavior (for example: "You will not walk with Natasha anymore"), accept this rule for now. You can talk to your mom again when she calms down. If you argue, it will only make your mother even more strict.
3. 3 Ask for advice if you like. Perhaps you need Mom's advice. Maybe that’s why you’re starting this conversation at all. If you need guidance, ask your mom for advice after you present the problem. Say, "I just wanted to ask you for advice because I'm not sure what to do."
   • Remember, if someone gives you advice, this does not mean at all that you must listen to him. However, it would be helpful to just listen to Mom's point of view and take note of it.
4. 4 Talk to someone else if your mom doesn't want to listen to you. Some problems can be very difficult to explain to mom. If she reacts very negatively and doesn't want to talk about it, talk to another adult.
   • You can talk to your dad, aunt or uncle, older brother or sister, or the parent of a friend.