Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Deal with emotional deposits
• Method 2 of 3: Get Support
• Method 3 of 3: Move on

Cheating on the part of a partner can trigger a range of emotions, such as denial, sadness, humiliation, and even anger. Perhaps you are wondering and wondering what you did wrong. First, realize: if your partner cheated on you, then it is his fault, not yours. Then take the appropriate action to recuperate yourself, such as taking a break from social media and getting support from friends. Then take steps to move on without letting your ex's cheating affect the health of your future relationship.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Deal with emotional deposits

1. 1 Admit your pain. Denying your feelings will only delay the healing process. Betrayal hurts badly, so allow yourself to grieve no matter how long it takes.
   • Curl up in bed and lie down for a couple of days. Cry until there are no tears left. Throw the darts into your ex-partner's photo. Do whatever you see fit, as there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
2. 2 Hit or break something. By releasing emotions on a physical level, you will truly feel better. However, it is unacceptable to behave aggressively or harm another person.Try to throw, break, hit or burn something better.
   • In large cities of Russia, places began to appear where you can come, take a stack of plates and smash them against the wall, or, for example, make a fire in a barrel and burn gifts from a former partner.
   • Try signing up for a boxing or kickboxing class. Physical activity will help release negative emotions and strengthen not only the body, but also the spirit.
3. 3 Look at your ex without rose-colored glasses. Often, victims of infidelity see the “good guy” as a traitor, placing all the blame on themselves. Do not do that. Yes, you, too, may have played a role in the breakdown of the relationship, but it is the cheater who is responsible for his actions.
   • If you find yourself blaming yourself, redirect your thoughts in a different direction. You can silently repeat: “He is a traitor. It is his fault, not mine. "
4. 4 Stop going over and over in your head. After the relationship ends, you may be constantly replaying what happened in your head. Of course, a little analysis doesn't hurt, but constantly thinking about what went wrong can negatively affect your mood.
   • Load yourself up with chores after a breakup. Chat with friends, join a hobby club, rearrange furniture in your home, or volunteer.
   • Tell friends and family that you are trying to mention less of your ex.
5. 5 Stay away from social media. VK, Instagram and Twitter may seem like tempting hideaways after breaking up with a cheater, but letting off steam on your page is not a good idea. Take a little vacation from your favorite social networks until you get a little better of yourself.
   • Once back on social media, immediately unsubscribe from your ex so you don't spy on his page or get upset about photos of his new girlfriend.
6. 6 Suppress the desire for revenge. Some people try to "forget" their cheating partner by spreading rumors about them or by sleeping with one of their close friends. This may seem like the perfect way to get even, but it will only make matters worse. Plus, the end result is that you will look bad in the eyes of others.
   • Instead of trying to settle scores with the cheater, work on being a better person. Don't let your ex steal more of your time and energy. Stop thinking about revenge.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Klare Heston, LCSW

   
   
   Licensed Social Worker Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. She has experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision, and received her Master's degree in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also completed a two-year continuing education course at the Cleveland Institute of Gestalt Therapy and is certified in family therapy, supervision, mediation, and trauma therapy.

   Klare Heston, LCSW
   Licensed social worker

   Focus on healing, not hurting the cheater. Claire Heston, a clinical social worker, says: “Work on your spirits and don't focus on hurting or getting revenge on the guy. Pay attention to yourself and your own interests, hobbies, positive habits, and friends. Don't waste all your energy on this guy. "

   
   

Method 2 of 3: Get Support

1. 1 Talk to friends and family members. No matter how many times you say, “I’m fine,” it’s still not true. Let friends and family be with you during this sad period. Talk about cheating or negative relationships from their past. You may be surprised to learn that many of your loved ones have also been victims of infidelity.
   • If you don’t want to discuss it, don’t need to.Invite loved ones to go to the movies, take a walk, or crawl under a blanket on the couch with a bucket of ice cream.
2. 2 Contact our online support team. Positive sources of support are imperative in coping with your ex's cheating. If you feel uncomfortable discussing a situation with close friends and family members, find support groups online where other people are experiencing the same situation.
   • If you live in a big city, you may be able to find in-person support groups.
3. 3 See a psychologist. Another option is to see a mental health professional, such as a psychologist. The psychologist will be of immense support for you, as well as help you work through the emotions caused by cheating and think of positive ways to move on.
   • For example, a counselor might ask you to write a letter to your ex (but not send it) or talk to an empty chair, pretending to be a cheater. This will help you get rid of the sediment left on your soul so you can move on.
   • Signs that you should seek help from a psychologist: You constantly check your ex's social media page, think about him all the time, contact him often, or feel overwhelmed.

Method 3 of 3: Move on

1. 1 Do not hurry. It takes time to recover from any relationship, and forgetting a cheater can be even more difficult. Don't be hard on yourself if you cry in the middle of the day or wonder how your ex is doing. These reactions are completely normal. Be patient. Over time, you will start to feel better.
2. 2 Don't make abstract generalizations. The worst thing that can be done in this situation is to turn away from all men with the belief that they are all cheaters. Also, be wary of friends who try to comfort you with statements such as, "All men cheat."
   • This negative attitude will make it harder for you to open up to your new partner in the future. Plus, it's unfair to make every man pay the price for your ex's actions.
   • Instead, focus on your family and friends. Focus on the good relationships in your life.
3. 3 Take responsibility for your contributions. Of course, cheating was not your fault. However, you may have done something wrong, even if you simply ignored the warnings of your intuition, although you shouldn't have done it. Consider what you could have done differently.
   • Another way to take responsibility is to admit that you may be picking the guys you want to “save”. Take a lesson from this and continue to look for a different type of men, avoiding guys like your ex.
4. 4 Return to the dating world. Perhaps the thought of dating scares you after you've faced cheating. However, don't let one bad person make you mistrust the whole world. There are great guys around you, and you owe it to you to get to know them.
   • Once you're ready to date again, moderate your fervor and focus on befriending your potential romantic partner. If the person has a pleasant personality and you like their personality, you might consider starting a serious relationship with them.