Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Recognizing the positive
• Method 2 of 3: Look for like-minded spirits
• Method 3 of 3: Get professional help

For some reason, some people think it is a negative trait to be somewhat quiet and reserved. In reality, having such a personality can be something positive, or at least not something negative. In fact, there can be multiple benefits associated with these properties. There are also several ways to accept that you have these qualities.

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Method 1 of 3: Recognizing the positive

1. List all positives. While society tends to favor extroverted or more outward-looking personalities, that doesn't mean you're worth less.List all the positive effects that being silent and being reserved can have.
   • Maybe you are a very good listener.
   • Maybe you're playing it safe and be smart about it.
   • You may be a good observer of situations and people.
   • You may be considered modest.
   • You may be considered thoughtful.
   • Are there other benefits of being quiet and reserved?
2. Start a log. If you have trouble making a list of the positives of being quiet and reserved, start by writing down specific moments where your personality has helped you. You may find that your memory is focused on remembering the negatives, but this technique can help you find the positives of your personality.
   • If you have a smartphone, take your notes on it and move them to a Word document, or write notes in a diary.
   • If you don't have a phone to keep notes on while you're on the road, always have a pen and paper handy so you can jot down your thoughts during the day before you forget what happened.
3. Read about your personality. Humans have studied the power of quiet and reserved personalities. There are several resources that can offer you a new and supportive vision of yourself:
   • Read the book Quiet by Susan Cain: http://www.npr.org/books/titles/145928609/quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking
   • Learn about the evolutionary logic behind your personality. In some settings, introverts thrive better than extroverts, especially when an outward-looking attitude can come at the expense of something (such as when you live somewhere high in infectious diseases, because being social exposes you to more pathogens).
   • In other words, there is no such thing as a 'best' personality from the perspective of success on survival, but rather it depends on a complex set of things, such as a person's environment: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06 /26/opinion/sunday/26shyness.html
4. Try to feel comfortable in your own skin. Once you have realized that there are many positive aspects to being quiet and reserved, try to accept yourself as you are. Accepting yourself is a positive quality in itself. And as long as you're happy with that, that's what matters most. Many people will indicate that feeling good about yourself is more important than having a certain "skin" in particular. There are a number of tips you can try to feel better about yourself:
   • Make a list of all your strengths.
   • Forgive yourself for what you did wrong in the past. Try to remember that you can learn from mistakes, but those mistakes don't have to stop you in your life.
   • Treat yourself well and remember that perfection is not part of the experience of being human. You have quirks and flaws just like everyone else, and that's okay!
5. Learn from successful introverts. There are a number of quiet and reserved people who have each become successful in their own way. Include the following people:
   • Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.
   • J.K Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series.
   • Albert Einstein, one of the greatest physicists of all time.
   • Rosa Parks, famous human rights activist.

Method 2 of 3: Look for like-minded spirits

1. Think about the people you know. Ask yourself if there is someone in your social network with a similar personality. You can then start working on getting to know them better. It can be easier to learn to accept your personality if you surround yourself with others who are similarly constructed.
   • You probably have more in common with people who are just as quiet and reserved as you are than with people who are quite outgoing and outgoing.
2. Find a meeting group of like-minded people. You can use the website http://shy.meetup.com/ to find and connect with other quiet and reserved people.
   • If there are no upcoming events in your area, maybe organize one yourself!
3. Participate in online forums. Perhaps conversations online with other people who look like you can help you accept yourself. When you realize that there are a lot of other people who are also quiet and reserved, it can help you realize that your personal characteristics are very common and not something to be ashamed of.
   • To find an online forum, use keywords such as: "forums for shy people"
4. Create a support group. If you have trouble accepting yourself, consider starting a support group and then recruiting like-minded minds for support.
   • You will have to make some decisions about your group. Decide where and when you want to hold the meetings, and what the name of that group will be.
   • You will also have to advertise the group. You can try to recruit people through online forums or by posting ads at bus stops in your place.

Method 3 of 3: Get professional help

1. Find a mental health expert. No matter how hard you try, sometimes you just don't manage to accept certain traits of yourself on your own. That is completely okay and normal. In that case, it may be helpful to hire an expert, such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, licensed medical social worker, licensed counselor, or relationship and family therapist, all of whom can help you address your problem.
   • Find a psychologist via this website: http://www.psynip.nl/contact-en-service/vind-een-psycholoog.html
   • To find another medical healthcare professional, search the internet with terms such as, counselor + your zip code or, for example, relationship therapist + your city name.
2. Consult your doctor. You may be suffering from a severe form of social anxiety. If so, it may help to consult your doctor about the use of medication for reducing anxiety.
   • You may have a social anxiety disorder if everyday social interactions cause you a lot of anxiety or fear or embarrass you because you feel that you are being judged negatively by others.
3. Make a list of complaints. If you decide to seek the help of a doctor or psychologist, there are a number of things you can do to get the most out of your visit. You can start by writing down the complaints you experience and under what circumstances.
   • It is better to work in more detail than in less detail. Let your doctor decide what information is important and what is an afterthought.
4. Prepare a list of questions. There may be a number of things on your mind and you want to make sure you make the appointment as worthwhile as possible. You do this by bringing along a list of questions that you can refer to during the appointment. Examples of questions you can ask are:
   • Ask about medications you could take.
   • Ask about the pros and cons of medications.
   • Ask about the alternatives to medications, such as a lifestyle change.
   • Ask about the side effects of medications.
   • Ask about the possible underlying cause of social anxiety disorder.