Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Control Your Senses
• Method 2 of 3: Focus on yourself
• Method 3 of 3: Use techniques that can help you turn off your emotions

There are situations when it is imperative to reduce emotional pain, for example, if it is too intense. In addition, emotional pain can lead to dangerous situations for the person experiencing strong emotions (for example, they can harm themselves or take a dangerous drug). It can reach the person at the wrong time (for example, at work, at school, or in another place where you do not feel protected), or in a situation where the person is uncomfortable if they sincerely expresses their emotions (for example, if they are in company of people to whom he does not want to reveal his feelings). If you want to learn how to control your emotions, this article is for you. After reading it, you will learn how to control emotions while taking into account your needs and desires. In addition, this article describes psychological techniques, by practicing which, you can learn to control your emotions, and, if necessary, turn them off.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Control Your Senses

1. 1 Try to find the cause of the strong emotional reaction. If you want to learn how to turn off emotions, try to understand what is the reason for the emotional outburst at one time or another. This may be due to the following reasons:
   • you are a very sensitive person;
   • the situation reminded you of painful events in the past;
   • you feel that you are losing control of the situation, which can cause anger and irritation.
2. 2 There is a difference between healthy emotional detachment and painful form. From time to time, we all experience situations when we want to turn off our emotions, especially if they are associated with pain or seem overwhelming to us at the moment. However, extreme emotional detachment from others is associated with psychopathy, in which a person commits a crime without feeling remorse. In addition, this behavior can also indicate that the person is experiencing severe trauma.
   • If you sometimes want to turn off strong emotions, there is nothing wrong with that. We are not always able to cope with our emotions. However, make sure that your condition does not become chronic. If you isolate yourself from others or become an emotionless person, you will have more serious psychological problems.
   • Some signs that may indicate a person needs treatment: social isolation, refusal to attend social events, intense fear of rejection, depressed mood or anxiety, difficulty in completing or completing a task (study or work), and frequent social conflicts or fights with other people.
3. 3 Accept an emotional state. Paradoxically, by accepting and acknowledging our emotions, we are able to quickly take them under control when we need it. Often we want to become emotionless people because it is difficult for us to experience emotions. Nonetheless, these emotions provide us with valuable information about the situation we are in and about our perception of the situation. Like physical pain, negative feelings and emotions (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress) indicate that there is a problem that needs to be addressed.
   • The next time negative emotions such as anger take over, tell yourself, “I'm angry because _____. Anger reveals my reaction to this situation and shows me the right decision. Therefore, there is nothing reprehensible in the fact that I am angry. "Anger itself is not a problem, but actions you can take while angry can have serious consequences. Of course, you can suppress anger or other negative emotions in yourself, but ultimately, the next time it will lead to the fact that negative emotions will burst out with even greater force.
   • If you accept your emotions and find the right way to release them, then very soon they will lose control over you, and you will begin to control them and turn them off when necessary.
   • Try shifting your focus and breathing deeper to help calm your body. First, start by forming internal (mental) ideas about events and the connections between them, in other words, about cognitive processes. This will help you reduce your anxiety. Second, take the necessary steps to help you calm down.
   • To deal with your emotions, you can take a nap, be creative, take a walk, have a massage, walk your pet, drink tea, listen to music, and even kiss your loved one.
4. 4 Express your feelings in a safe place. In case emotions overwhelm you, set aside a cozy, safe place where you can accept your emotions and take control of them. Make it a rule to analyze your emotions at the same time every day.
   • Cry when you are alone. Tears in front of the person who offends you will provoke him to bully you or to offend you further. Taking deep breaths and thinking about something else unrelated to the situation will help you not focus on hurtful words. You probably won't want to cry after that. Thus, you suppress the resentment in yourself. However, this is not very good. By keeping negative emotions in ourselves, we harm our body. Try your best to contain your emotions until the situation ends, so that the person who caused your strong emotions will leave the room. Now you can give vent to tears.
5. 5 Write down your feelings and thoughts. As we mentioned above, tears cannot be held back. The same principle can be applied to anger, embarrassment and other negative emotions - you should not suppress these feelings in yourself. Try to express your feelings and thoughts on paper. This will help you analyze and deal with difficult emotions so that you can detach from them when needed. You can also use the electronic device you are using to express your feelings.
   • Put your feelings into words and write them down in your secret journal.
   • To avoid dwelling on negative thoughts, try to look at the situation in a different way. For example, you think of someone: "This person is such a nonentity!" In this situation, try to look at the situation from the other side. Tell yourself, "This person is likely to have a difficult life, and this is how they deal with anger and sadness." Empathy can help you deal with sadness and frustration. Show empathy and it will be easier for you to deal with difficult people and situations.
6. 6 Try to distract yourself. Think about something else. Don't just try to ignore the feeling or situation. If a person tries not to think about something, in the end, he thinks about it even more. The more he tries to suppress the thought, the more confidently it ricochets back. In one study, participants were asked to think about anything but polar bears. And what do you think they were thinking all the time? About polar bears, of course. Instead of trying to force yourself not to think about what causes negative emotions in you, try to just think about something else.
   • Try to do something that might distract you. Get involved in gardening, play a game, watch an interesting movie, read a magazine, play something beautiful on a musical instrument, paint a picture, cook something delicious, or chat with a friend.
7. 7 Get involved in physical activity. Take a walk, ride a bike, or do any other vigorous activity that promotes good cardiovascular function. Aerobic exercise increases the level of endorphins in the blood. This will help you to control and change your reaction to people who provoke you to negative emotions. Exercise or grounding techniques can help you get the best of your emotions.
   • Think of the following activities: hiking, rowing, kayaking, gardening, cleaning, jumping rope, dancing, kickboxing, yoga, pilates, zumba, push-ups, squats, running and walking.

Method 2 of 3: Focus on yourself

1. 1 Practice self-reflection. One way to take control of your emotions is to look at yourself from the outside. Try to look at yourself with someone else's eyes and see yourself from the outside.
   • When you're alone, analyze your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Ask yourself, “What am I thinking today? What emotions am I experiencing? "
   • Also observe yourself, how you behave in society. Pay attention to what you say, how you act, and how you express your emotions.
2. 2 Assert yourself. Self-affirmation is an important step if you want to learn how to turn off your emotions. Self-assertion allows you to confirm to yourself that your actions and emotions are reasonable.
   • Talk to yourself in a positive way. Tell yourself, “There is nothing wrong with my feelings. Even if I do not want to show my feelings to others, I have the right to experience them. "
3. 3 Set boundaries in emotions. This will make you think about your needs first. Decide for yourself what will be the extreme point that you can no longer tolerate when others hurt you emotionally. If possible, stop all communication with people who annoy or upset you, such as a colleague or neighbor.
   • Try to set boundaries by telling the person directly about your emotions at the moment and what you expect from them. For example, if your brother teases you, tell him, “I get very annoyed when you tease me. I'll be grateful if you stop doing this. " In addition, you can mention the consequences that can be if a person crosses the line you set: "If you do not stop behaving this way, I will not communicate with you." This is an example of a situation where you were able to express your irritation without losing control of your emotions.

Method 3 of 3: Use techniques that can help you turn off your emotions

1. 1 Use your wise mind. According to dialectical behavioral therapy, all individuals have two minds - two different thinking abilities: rational, which comes from the mind, and emotional. Our wise mind is a combination of emotional and rational thinking. If you are trying to abstract from emotional pain, use the help of your wise mind, find the perfect balance between the rational and emotional components of your brain. Instead of only reacting emotionally, try to think rationally, assessing the situation objectively.
   • Recognize your feelings, tell yourself: “Emotions are quite natural for a person. Over time, all emotions pass, even the strongest. I can understand why I reacted this way when I calm down. "
   • Ask yourself: “Will this be important to me in a year, 5 years, 10 years? How much can this person or situation affect my life? "
   • Ask yourself, “Is this thought fact or fiction? What is it more like? "
2. 2 Maintain an emotional distance. To do this, you need to be aware of the situation. As a rule, the ability to maintain emotional distance can be needed when you need to be sensitive to someone, but you do not want to adopt their emotions and experience negative emotions after that.Awareness helps to show empathy for the person, while maintaining an emotional distance, so that we internally do not adopt what the person is experiencing. Try the following techniques to increase your level of awareness.
   • Eat mindfully (raisins, candy, apples, and so on). First, see what the food looks like, what color and shape it is. Next, pay attention to the texture and temperature, how you feel when holding this product in your hands. Finally, take a bite slowly and taste it. To the last crumb, focus your attention on the taste of what you eat. Pay attention to this valuable experience.
   • Walk mindfully. Allocate at least 20 minutes for this. Just focus on walking and what is happening around you. Feel the breeze. Feel the air, appreciate the weather. Is it hot, cold, windy, or quiet outside? What sounds do you hear? Can you hear birds chirping, people talking or car alarm sounds? Feel your every move. Look around. What do you see? Swaying trees or a neighbor's dog?
   • Focus on the present moment instead of “stewing” in your thoughts, feelings, or other emotions. Mindfulness requires concentration of attention at the moment. Try to be aware of how you react to a particular situation, to accept and let go of painful thoughts and emotions.
3. 3 Breathe deeply. When you are under stress, your body naturally tenses and your thoughts run at a frantic pace. Breathe slowly and deeply to avoid oxygen deprivation, which can make the problem worse.
   • Get into a comfortable position and breathe deeply, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Focus on your breathing, how you feel with each inhalation and exhalation. Breathe diaphragmatically; this means breathing from the belly. Imagine that you are inflating a balloon, taking deep breaths through your nose and exhales through your mouth. Do this exercise for 5 minutes.
4. 4 Learn grounding techniques. With these techniques, you can move away from your emotional pain and shut off your emotions.
   • Try the following exercises: count to yourself to 100, count the sheep, count the number of objects in the room, list all the cities in the Central Federal District of Russia or the names of all kinds of colors. Use whatever is logical and unemotional that can distract you from the situation.
5. 5 Make it a habit. Eventually, your mind will learn to remove unpleasant memories, and you will naturally begin to think logically and emotionlessly in any unpleasant situations. Practice will help you reach your goal faster. You can turn off emotions when needed.