Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Patterns of Immature Behavior
• Method 2 of 3: How to Deal with an Emotionally Immature Person
• Method 3 of 3: How to respond to aggressive behavior in an immature person
• Tips
• Warnings

Whether you like it or not, sooner or later we are all faced with immature behaviors (for example, at work or in our personal lives). It can be harmful to your emotional health, your ability to communicate, and your outlook on the world. However, if you show understanding and self-control, with a certain skill you will be able to communicate with an infantile person with ease.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Patterns of Immature Behavior

1. 1 Think about the age of the person. Immature means not fully developed. Man is naturally incapable of reacting to typical situations. The younger the person, the more difficult it is for him. Be sympathetic to the immaturity of young people.
   • For example, a young boy may show immaturity by joking about his genitals, blowing gas in public, picking his nose, and acting like a child. This may seem disgusting to you, but for a certain age, this behavior is normal and should not be paid attention to. Before you get angry, think about how the person takes time to grow up and mature.
   • However, an adult (who has already outgrown silly jokes) may also lack emotional maturity: he may act unceremoniously, not admit his mistakes, or make others jealous or angry just like that.
2. 2 Learn to recognize mature and immature behavior. Extreme situations can sometimes elicit an emotionally immature response (sometimes referred to as age regression), which blurs the line between adult and childhood emotion. When you notice a mature reaction, turn your attention to the person. There are several ways to understand whether a reaction is mature or infantile.
   • An emotionally immature person reacts quickly, feels like a victim, does not control his emotions (this manifests itself in a sharp expression of anger, sudden crying, and so on), is focused on himself and strives for self-defense, constantly justifies his actions in front of himself or in front of others, is prone to manipulation , may be motivated by fear or a feeling that he has to do something, and also feels the need to avoid failure, discomfort and denial.
   • An emotionally mature person is open to the opinions of others, actively acts, is motivated by personal growth and takes purposeful actions, does something because he decides to do it, and not because he thinks that he is obliged to do it. Such a person exhibits integrity, which means that his actions are in line with his values.
3. 3 Understand why a person can be emotionally immature. Infantile people find it difficult to control their emotions and often feel helpless. It seems to them that they cannot change their life or somehow influence the current situation. This can be explained by the fact that the person has not learned to cope with complex emotions. Immature behavior is not appropriate for the person's age, but you will feel better about the person if you understand that they are behaving this way out of fear and a sense of the need to protect themselves from uncomfortable emotions.
4. 4 Allow the possibility of mental problems. The person you are in contact with may have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or personality disorder. Some of the manifestations of these disorders can be mistaken for immaturity, and they can be expressed in different patterns of behavior.
   • A person with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) may appear immature, but in reality they are suffering from a mental disorder.It can be difficult for him to concentrate, he can talk a lot, order others or interrupt conversations, show verbal aggression in difficult situations, not be able to control his emotions, which often leads to outbursts of rage and tears.
   • Borderline personality disorder is usually accompanied by mood swings.
   • People with antisocial personality disorder are often rude and lack respect for the feelings of others.
   • A person with hysterical personality disorder may behave very emotionally to draw attention to themselves and feel uncomfortable with someone else in the spotlight.
   • Narcissistic personality disorder manifests itself in the over-importance of oneself and an inability to understand the feelings of others. This leads to a sense of vulnerability that triggers emotional reactions.

Method 2 of 3: How to Deal with an Emotionally Immature Person

1. 1 Understand that you cannot force someone to change. If the person is not ready to admit their behavior and do something to change the situation, you cannot do anything on your own. It can be extremely difficult for an emotionally immature person to understand that they need to change, since the basis of immaturity is blaming other people or circumstances for their bad behavior.
   • You can only change your behavior - how you react to a person's actions and how much time you spend with him.
2. 2 Try to limit your contact with this person. You may have to isolate yourself from this person, but everything will depend on the degree of immaturity of the person and his desire or unwillingness to work on his behavior. If the immature person is your spouse, you may need to end the relationship if your partner is not willing to change. If you cannot relieve yourself of the presence of a person in your life (for example, if he is your boss, colleague or relative), try to limit contact with him.
   • Keep conversations as short as possible. End the conversation politely but firmly: "Sorry, I have to go. I am working on an important project and I need to get back to it as soon as possible."
   • In general meetings, avoid socializing with the person and talk to other friends and family.
3. 3 Express your position actively. An emotionally immature person can manipulate and think only of himself, so if you need to communicate with him, speak clearly and to the point. Actively expressing your position does not mean being aggressive - it means speaking clearly, with respect and about what you want, while showing respect for the needs, feelings, and desires of others. In other words, you should say what you want and not dwell on the response you receive.
   • Remember that even if you communicate your desires properly, an immature person can react in an infantile manner.
   • WikiHow has articles on how to actively express your opinion.
4. 4 Talk to the person. If you think that the person is ready to listen to you, and you do not want him to leave your life, try talking to him about his behavior. Be prepared for him to become defensive, which will prevent you from getting what you want to say to him. Perhaps you should invite him to talk to a therapist or someone who can help him connect with others as an adult.
   • Explain what behavior you consider immature and how it affects you. For example: "I can't handle everything when you stop doing the housework. Could you help me clean up every week?" Then tell me what kind of responsibilities you would like to ask for.
   • Tell the person that it is always difficult to change, but you are ready to be there and support him if he is ready for the change.

Method 3 of 3: How to respond to aggressive behavior in an immature person

1. 1 Stop paying attention to the person. This is the easiest way to get out of a situation in which an immature person is trying to get your attention by provoking a reaction. If you respond to his behavior, you will give him what he needs and encourage infantile action. Ignoring the person will make him realize that the attack was unsuccessful and give up.
   • If a person loses his temper or clings to words, you should stop paying attention to him as soon as possible.
   • Stop looking at him. Turn away or look away. Don't notice the person.
   • Turn your back. If the person bypasses you, turn away again.
   • Go away. Walk as soon as possible until the person stops following you.
   • Dive into your phone. Talking to someone or distracting someone who is busy with their phone or tablet is extremely difficult. You will be so busy that you will stop noticing the person.
2. 2 Ask the person to leave you alone. If the person does not understand you or does not leave, you will have to go to a conflict and say that you do not want to continue this conversation. Gather your strength and ask the person to leave you alone. In this case, it will be better to leave yourself. Try one of these ways:
   • Tell the person that you are not in the mood and ask them not to touch you.
   • Immediately ask him to leave you alone.
   • Directly say that you do not intend to argue: "I am not going to argue with you. The conversation is over."
   • Use a worn-out record tactic. Just repeat your refusal to participate in the conversation many times in a row: "This conversation is over." Remain calm and try to get away.
3. 3 Let the person know about their actions. It is possible that the person is not aware of their behavior. Growing up also lies in the ability to communicate with younger and less mature people. If you let the person know that they are bothering you and that their actions are inappropriate, they may decide to avoid your company.
   • It can be helpful to be direct about how you feel: “I don’t like this behavior. Please stop.”
   • Just tell the person about his behavior: "You are acting like a child. Stop bothering me."
   • Formulate your thought with the question: "Do you understand that you are now behaving infantile?"
4. 4 Do not try to knock out a wedge with a wedge. You may want to respond in kind to the person so that they feel what they are doing with their behavior, but this can have serious consequences. If you are communicating with a person for work, your actions can lead to problems. you... In addition, it can be unsafe to respond to such an aggressive person. If you feel like you're about to explode, act like an adult and leave.
5. 5 Get help. If the person is behaving aggressively and refuses to leave you alone, consult a lawyer or contact the police. No one is allowed to mock or touch you. Outside help is needed to stop this behavior. A person will most likely not stop until they are stopped by a force that they cannot resist. There are several options:
   • Seek help from loved ones. If you cannot avoid communicating with the person, ask a friend, relative, teacher or head teacher at the school, principal, or anyone you trust to help you.
   • Let the person know that you intend to contact the police. Such a threat may be enough to curb unwanted behavior.
   • Call the police. If you fear for your safety or fear someone who is stalking you, threatening you, or who has been violent towards you, you may need to call the police or write a statement. Write down the details of all attacks so that you have a history of the persecution, including its timing.
   • Attacks include threats, repeated phone calls, messages, emails, notes and other means of communication, harassment, blackmail, puncturing car tires.
   • Ask the police what you should do.Legislation differs from country to country, so it is best for you to check with the police on what to do.

Tips

• Take deep breaths. Do not take out your anger on the person, otherwise you will fall to his level and let him win.
• Don't act rashly. Before making a decision or saying anything, consider the problem.

Warnings

• There is a difference between immature behavior and insolent bullying. If you think you are being bullied, ask someone for help.