Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

Have you ever suspected that the person you are dating is much more interested in your finances than in you? If you are extremely concerned about this, thanks to this article, you will not only be able to find out if your premonitions are true, but you will be able to protect yourself before it is too late.

Steps

1. 1 Define what love of convenience is. There is nothing wrong with the person concerned about your financial stability. Long-term union implies mutual dependence on each other during the ups and downs, and financial security is indeed to some extent a manifestation of this judgment. The difference between a person who enters into a relationship solely for the sake of a resource component, and someone who appreciates your role as material support, is that the first, being deprived of your finances, will fall in a flurry of ridicule and, possibly, leave you. A decent person is highly grateful for material support from you, but a greedy individual appreciates exclusively this and nothing else.
2. 2 Such a relationship is characterized by the fact that the greedy side often hints at problems with paying their bills (sometimes such a person may even ask you for a loan to cover them). She knows that you don’t want to see your half receive a notice of eviction or lose a car, as well as the fact that you are able to help. However, there is a huge difference between a money freak and someone who is going through hard times. You have to start from the fact that, despite the depressing situation, this person makes questionable financial decisions. Does anyone buy a luxury car at a time of the supposedly daunting scale of the rent problem? Does someone buy a pair of shoes for tens of thousands of rubles or a watch when their phone is threatened with disconnection? Does this person continue to go out to restaurants in an expensive area when their credit card limit is significantly exceeded, but they do it because they "work hard" and "deserve it"? Such extortionists are smart enough to take advantage of your desire to help them with the fact that really necessary in the first place (food, housing, transport), thereby spending their own money on things that they want.
3. 3 When the topic of financial problems arises, suggest ways that your partner can use to quickly fix the alleged plight. What is his reaction if, as a way out, you offer to sell his luxury car, video console, guitar, diamond bracelet or any other luxury item? A common reaction in this case is sadness, anger, or upset. The initiator of the relationship by calculation will be shocked the very idea that he will have to give up his values ​​in order to satisfy his own primary needs. He will find this idea ridiculous. More often than not, their dissatisfaction with the offer will also be accompanied by anger or even rudeness. This will give you a clear understanding of the true ins and outs of his feelings for you.
4. 4 Identify your partner's confidence that you owe him something. Greedy people feel that they deserve to be treated well, which also comes with spending large sums of money on them. Perhaps the reason for this desire for happiness, given at too high a cost, lies in a bad childhood or past relationships. Perhaps they consider the possibility of pursuing their grandiose dreams at the cost of financial stability their given right, but they did not consider who will pay the bills of their self-realization process. Have you noticed unreasonable expectations of a particularly favorable treatment of your partner? Such genuine confidence is one of the symptoms of narcissistic behavior, which can have a number of other manifestations:
   • an exaggerated sense of self-importance (for example, exaggerating achievements and talents, expecting to be recognized for superiority without any corresponding achievement)
   • immersion in dreams of unlimited success, power, chic, beauty or ideal love
   • confidence in the particularity and uniqueness that can be understood or associated with other people of special or high status
   • need for excessive admiration
   • lack of empathy: inability to identify the feelings and needs of others
   • envy of other people combined with the belief that he is also envied
5. 5 Ask a series of speaking questions.
   • What is the best gift your partner has ever received? Money-obsessed people almost always refer to an expensive material object, rather than a purely personal and meaningful gift.
   • What's the biggest thing you had to give up in order to get what you want? With this question, you are trying to identify evidence of delayed gratification - the ability to give up something now in order to achieve something more in the future. As you know, the person in charge of the "calculated" part of the relationship is spoiled or used to patronage, not being ready to really wait, work, fight for what he wants, because until that moment there was always a person on the side who could calmly arrange all this ...
6. 6 See what questions are being addressed to you. Some questions that may seem harmless at first may actually be considered an attempt to judge your ability to provide for someone else's needs. None of these questions, taken alone, should give you cause for concern, but their whole rant on the first date is a reason to think hard.
   • How much do you earn per year? Why is she / he asking this question? Because such a ransomware is a mobile calculator, so every question on a monetary topic for such a person is an element of the calculation that allows you to determine the percentage of the total amount that he / she "deserves".
   • Do you have your own home? What kind of car do you have? This is an attempt to determine your condition and the profitability of investing in a relationship with you.
   • How many children do you have? Your answer to the question will help her / him determine the majority of your income and attention to your children and which he / she can count on by being with you. After all, this kind of extortionist, first of all, is a needy individual who will require a significant amount of time, money and energy resources.
7. 7 Look for signs of generosity and gratitude towards you. Having gone on a few dates, have you ever faced the situation that this person offered to pay for you? When you pay, does he / she express gratitude? Does he offer help in other matters? (And no, physical intimacy doesn't count); Does anyone prepare dinner for you when you are late at work? Fixing a broken computer? Does household chores during times when you are extremely busy? If there are no such signs, do you really want to continue the relationship with this person? A person does not become grateful and generous in the blink of an eye ...
8. 8 Immerse yourself in a pipe dream. The pipe dream method is pretty dodgy. Stop at one of your childhood fantasies and take action. Tell the person you are meeting about your aspirations to become a mechanic, farmer, supermodel, writer, or whatever. Explain that fulfilling this dream will lead to significant changes in your lifestyle; you will have to continue your education, move, - in other words, do something that can significantly lower your standard of living. What is your partner's reaction? Is he worried? It's quite normal. A decent person will try to encourage you to pursue your dreams while offering you their advice. The profit seeker will be horrified, disgusted, and forced to say something like "You're kidding, aren't you?" OR he simply decides to end the relationship, deciding that you are paying attention to "yourself" and not to "him."
9. 9 Watch yourself. Helping others is fine, whether it’s saving someone from vagrancy or giving support to an aspiring musician, but try to avoid a situation where helping you becomes the norm, and if it ends, your relationship will end as well. If you have a hard time saying no, or you are extremely responsive and compassionate, your chances of being meddled in a relationship of convenience are skyrocketing for you. You may find your partner in such a relationship extremely attractive and interesting and be afraid to ruin your idyll, but you should not fool yourself with a pretty wrapper. It can cost you a lot.
10. 10 Pay attention to the questions asked to you. Even seemingly harmless questions like "What are you doing?" and "Where do you live?" can be very compelling when trying to figure out your income and lifestyle. In any case, don't give direct answers to these questions - start with your life story. How did your childhood / adolescence experience affect your life today? A person who is truly interested in you will ask questions of a more personal nature, while the beneficiary is not at all up to the intricacies of your nature; it focuses solely on information about your financial situation,before investing in you at any time. Being in society, the extortionist seeks to carry out his plan as soon as possible. The further you postpone the answers to the questions of interest to such a person, the more chances you have to bring him to clean water.

Tips

• Protect yourself by maintaining your own financial independence. Protect personal bank accounts and credit cards with extreme caution.
• Observe how other people react when you mention that you are dating or spending time with someone. Sometimes such delicate remarks will let you know that you are dealing with a person for whom money is above all else.
• Most people don't like to owe large sums of money to anyone. The beneficiary does not have to ask twice to take such a debt. Think about whether it makes sense to spread a new acquaintance about your financial hardships? Would you borrow from a guy or girl you hardly know? Most probably not. Meanwhile, extremely greedy people continue to seek their generous patrons for all time.
• After entering a relationship, the beneficiary usually avoids physical contact unless some incentive is expected (an invitation to a date, a gift, etc.).
• If this person complains that you have stopped giving him surprises, offer 2-3 inexpensive dating options and 1 much more expensive, and then see what your partner choices will be. The profit seeker will stop at the most expensive way of spending time from time to time.
• It's a good idea to check the court records to find out if the person is divorced. Looking through his complaints, petitions, answers, etc., you can glean a lot of new information for yourself. Don't rely solely on "his" version of history.
• This category of people is very fond of showing off their connections, this is an alarming sign.
• Do you have a chance to communicate with the family and friends of this person? You can find out a lot from them.
• The beneficiary usually has several credit cards at once, and most likely, he will not allow you to look into his wallet or bag. Look him in the eye as soon as you notice the value of something in a conversation or open your wallet or bag.
• Your income in a healthy relationship is only revealed when you plan to live together.
• The profit seeker, on the other hand, seeks to find out about this as early as possible.
• Such people can also often meet among business partners.
• Catch the beneficiary on your own greed. If you give your credit card for the purchase of one outfit, you will be faced with the fact that the amount spent by the partner will be too impressive. Thus, it will betray his true intentions.

Warnings

• If you find yourself in this kind of relationship a lot, think carefully about where you are dating and how you present yourself. If you truly come across as a “patron” (successful, with a high standard of living), who will you attract first?
• A beneficiary can be both a woman and a man, in abundance or not. Sometimes such a person tries to act out his own production about how he lost absolutely everything and is in a state of deepest depression.
• Pay close attention to people who change jobs often or go without work for a long time. Be on the lookout when your partner always has an explanation for such unemployment, especially if it is always someone's mistake (I got fired, my boss hated me, I was forced to work overtime, there were no opportunities for promotion, my salary was constantly being cut, etc.) Anything can happen, but when it happens to this person over and over again , this is a reason to think seriously.
• Do not overdo it with stinginess in trying to spot the catch. All of the above steps involve getting to know the person and observing their behavior.You don't have to pretend to be a hopeless curmudgeon to judge someone's character.
• Many representatives of this category will prefer not to part with their current partner until they find a more profitable "investment" on the side. Beware of young people or girls who gradually grow closer to you without breaking off their current relationship. They can work on two fronts at the same time, step by step breaking the connection with the current patron and laying the foundation for a more profitable option in your face.