How to write to someone with cancer

Video: How to talk to someone with cancer | Top tips from patients | Cancer Research UK

Content

Steps
Part 1 of 2: Provide support
Part 2 of 2: Avoid Indifference and Resentment
Tips

If your loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, chances are, you really want to support him in such a difficult period of life. However, in such circumstances, it is difficult to find the right words. However, your loved one needs your support, so do your best to take care of them. Write a letter to a loved one. Think carefully about the text of the letter. Of course, the tone of your letter will depend on how close your relationship with the sick person is. Keep your thoughts simple and clear.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Provide support

1 Find words of encouragement. When you find out that a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, you most likely feel helpless. At such moments, it is difficult for us to objectively assess the situation and find the right words. It is perfectly normal to have these feelings. However, remember that the loved one needs your support. Even if you don't know what to say, be close to the sick person. This will show that you care about him.
- Send a short message by email. Tell him what you know about his illness and want to provide the necessary help. Thanks to this, the sick person will not feel so lonely.
- You can say, "I am very sorry that you are sick. I am constantly thinking of you."
- If you do not know what to write, you can say it directly. Write: “I don’t know what to say, but I want you to know that you are dear to me.I want to be next to you".
2 Provide emotional support. Of course, everyone is different, but often a person who has been diagnosed with cancer feels lonely. Therefore, tell them that you are there and ready to provide the necessary support at any time. You can express words of encouragement by writing, "Please tell me how I can help you."
- Be prepared to listen to the person. You can say: "If you want to talk, I am always ready to listen to you."
- If you tell the person that you are ready to listen to him, you should not ask him about the details of the disease.
3 Offer practical help. In the letter, write that you are ready to help the person. You can provide emotional or practical help. If a person has cancer, then practical help may be urgently needed. Offer him help. For example, offer to sit with the children, help with cooking or cleaning. You can also take care of pets. The sick person does not have enough strength to cope with everyday tasks. Therefore, your help will be most welcome.
- Remember that a loved one may not ask for help himself. So suggest it yourself.
- Pretend that you are helping by chance, even if you are not.
- For example, if you wanted to offer to pick up the children from school, you could say, "I will be in the school area when your children finish school. I could (could) pick them up from school."
- Don't say, "Do you want me to pick up the kids from school?"
4 Be an encouragement to the person. It is very important to provide support to a loved one, while not going to extremes. Of course, it is not always easy to be balanced in such circumstances. However, you should not display false optimism or play down the severity of the situation. Provide the necessary support and encouragement to the person.
- You can say: "I know that you are currently having a difficult period in your life, but I will be with you and we will cope with it together."
5 Joke when appropriate. Depending on how close your relationship is with the person who has been diagnosed with cancer, you can tell interesting jokes to make them smile. Of course, this is very difficult to achieve in writing when you don't see the person's reaction.
- For example, jokes related to hair loss can help reduce stress levels.
- When in doubt, it is best not to use jokes in your letter.

Part 2 of 2: Avoid Indifference and Resentment

1 Remember, every cancer is unique. For example, in different people, a tumor of the same type can grow at different rates. Perhaps you know someone who was able to overcome this ailment. However, do not compare this person's medical history with that of a friend. Remember, every case is different. Therefore, avoid talking about people who have cancer.
- Instead, you can say that you are familiar with the condition. If your loved one wants, he will ask you about it.
- You can say: "My neighbor had cancer, and he overcame this disease." However, you shouldn't say this if you just want to comfort your friend.
- By giving support, you may think that you are helping the person to take their minds off their illness.
2 Needless to say, you understand how your friend is feeling. You probably think that you are expressing your support with these words. However, if you haven't had cancer yourself, you shouldn't. If you tell a friend, “I know how you feel,” you are showing that you do not take their situation seriously enough.
- If you are comparing your friend's diagnosis to a difficult period in your life, be prepared for a negative reaction from your loved one.
- If you know someone who has overcome this ailment, you can tell about it and invite your loved one to get to know this person. However, don't insist on this.
- You can just say, "I have a friend who had cancer a few years ago. Do you want me to introduce you to him?"
3 Don't give advice. You may want to share some information about how someone was able to overcome this formidable ailment with the help of alternative therapies. However, your loved one may not be interested. If you are not particularly knowledgeable in the medical field, you should not give advice. Let the doctors do it.
- Also, do not ask a loved one about his habits or lifestyle.
- You may have told your friend more than once that he should quit smoking because he could get lung cancer. There is no need to remind him of this now. Just be support for him.
4 Don't show false optimism. While it's important to stay positive, don't say, "I'm sure everything will be okay!" or "You won't have serious health problems!" Perhaps you want to support the person with these words. However, he may think that you do not understand the seriousness of the situation. Perhaps you do not know the doctors' predictions at all.
- Do not pressure a loved one to tell you about the doctors' predictions.
- Instead, find the information you need yourself.
- You can talk to friends or family members to find out more information. However, remember that you should not interfere with a person's personal life.