How to find a good man

Video: Where To Go To Find Good Men: Matthew Hussey, GetTheGuy

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 4: Meet Men
Method 2 of 4: Be the best version of yourself
Method 3 of 4: Find the Right Match
Method 4 of 4: Watch for Warning Signs
Tips
Warnings

Dating can be frustrating, especially when every guy doesn't seem to be who he is. It may seem to you that all the cool guys have already been sorted out, but there are many good men in the world who are in search of love. To increase your chances of meeting the one, look for opportunities to meet new people. Plus, work to be the best version of yourself by living a fun, fulfilling life. When you meet a guy you like, choose the right dating strategy so that your relationship can grow into a love marriage.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Meet Men

1 Join a hobby club. It is great to be a part of the club, because there you can get to know people and gradually get to know them better. Search the internet for local clubs or check out local stores that are related to your interests to see if there are any advertisements for organizations of interest to you. Then join one or more clubs to meet more guys.
- For example, you might want to join a hiking and adventure club if you are into outdoor activities. Likewise, check out the comic store to find a discussion club or board game club.
- Meetup.com and VK groups can also be helpful when looking for a suitable option.
2 Sign up for courses at your local university or organization. Attending courses is a great option for two reasons. First, you will most likely meet several men there. Secondly, it will help you become a more interesting, well-rounded person. Explore the websites of local educational organizations, universities, and libraries to find courses that interest you. Then sign up for classes that you think will also appeal to men.
- You will most likely be able to find courses on topics such as art, cooking, and writing at local nonprofits or stores that sell materials for such events.
- If you are having trouble finding information online, check with the library for all upcoming courses.
- Many educational institutions offer continuing education or continuing education courses that are not part of a full-time or part-time study program.
3 Volunteer with a charity, nonprofit organization, or a festival. Volunteering is also a great way to meet guys while helping your community. Pick an issue that is important to you or volunteer work that you enjoy. Then find a local organization that needs your help. Here are some suggestions:
- work in a local canteen for the homeless;
- collect books for children from poor families;
- bathe and walk the dogs at your local animal shelter;
- become a tour guide at a local museum;
- volunteer at a local film festival.
4 Attend local events and festivals to meet more guys. Explore local news sites, VK group events, and local social media pages to find events or festivals in your city or area. These can include art show openings, live concerts, parades, and farmers markets. Then visit whatever catches your interest. While there, greet the people you meet and try to turn small talk into meaningful conversation.
- You can also find events on sites like Meetup.com.
- As you walk past a guy you are interested in, say something about an event or the weather to try and start a conversation. You can say: "I'm glad the weather is so good today", "Have you seen this group before?" - or: "Do you know if there are stalls today where they sell zucchini?"
Advice: it's a kind of fishing. You throw bait to a lot of guys, but few will take it. If one guy isn't interested in the conversation, just move on to the next one.
5 Participate in community events in your religious or spiritual organization. If you are religious or spiritual, a church or meeting place is a great place to meet a man. In addition to the service, attend social events in the evenings or weekends to expand your social circle. Chat with the guys you meet there to get to know them better and find out if they are single.
- When talking to a guy you like, find out if he is single by casually asking about the status of his relationship.For example: "Did your wife come with you?" - or: “I'm glad it will be on Friday because I need a break from dating. It's all so exhausting, isn't it? "
6 Sign up with a dating app to easily spot single people nearby. The dating app allows you to narrow the focus to people looking for a relationship. Choose a dating app or website that you are comfortable using. Then create a profile that showcases your best features. When you find potential matches, get to know these guys to see if any of them are right for you.
- Some apps are not the best place to meet good men. Using lifestyle or faith based apps can help you find better matches than an app like Tinder.
- Don't reply to rude or disrespectful messages.
- If you like a guy, don't hesitate and email him first.
A warning: sometimes people lie about their relationship status on dating apps. Before letting anyone into your heart, inquire about their marital status and enter their name into a search box on the Internet to look for evidence that they may be married.

Method 2 of 4: Be the best version of yourself

1 Express yourself through your style. Instead of trying to impress a guy, dress to impress yourself. Choose clothes that fit well, make you feel great, and showcase your personality a little. Also, style your hair to match your face type and your hair texture. If you wear makeup, use it to highlight your natural beauty.
- For example, you can wear clothes featuring a funny dinosaur to show your quirky side, or opt for an elegant pencil skirt and cardigan if you consider yourself a business lady.
- If you like the way you look, you will naturally be more confident, which will grab the guy's attention. Plus, your relationship will be more successful if you meet a guy who loves you for who you are.
2 Be sincereso that people recognize the real you. Opening up to others can be very difficult because then it hurts to feel rejected. However, being yourself is the only way to find a good partner. Show your personality from day one and honestly share what you like and don't like. This will help you find the right batch.
- For example, you don't need to act like an extrovert if you prefer to stay at home. Likewise, you don't need to be meek and quiet if you tend to like to make noise. You are amazing the way you are, so don't hide your nature.
- Also, don't pretend you like things just because you think a guy likes them.
3 Chase personal and career goalsthat are important to you. Having goals is important because it helps us to be satisfied and happy. Plus, men will be more attracted to you if you are a more dynamic person. Set one or two goals for yourself, and then break them down into actionable steps. Then start working on the steps to make it happen.
- For example, you might set yourself the goal of pursuing a bachelor's / master's degree or promotion. Or you can set a personal goal: to save money to buy a house, write a book, or purchase a painting at an art exhibition.
4 Spend your free time doing a hobby or enjoying social activities. Hobbies and social activities can help you be a happy and interesting person, making you more attractive to guys. Plus, it will help you enjoy your life in general, so you will be less anxious about your relationship status.Pick one or more hobbies that you enjoy, and then devote time to it a few days a week. Also join friends and family in joint gatherings or invite them to your home.
- If you have free time, do something fun.
- For example, instead of spending Saturday night alone, go bowling with friends or invite a bunch of friends over for a game night.
5 Decide what you bring to the relationship. In all relationships, you have to both accept and give, so you are more likely to find a great partner if you contribute equally. Think about what you will do for your partner, how you will spend your time, and what previous partners liked the most about you. Then use it openly with guys you like.
- If you have a profile on a dating site or app, please include this information there.
- You might say, "I organize fun, creative dates, I am patient, open in my desires, and I make great breakfasts."
6 Don't hide your flaws, because everyone has them. It's perfectly normal to worry about our flaws, but each of us has a flaw. Realizing your flaws will help you be more honest in your relationship and therefore meet a better guy. Think about the problems in your previous relationship and what you usually try to hide from people. Then openly tell the men you meet about your shortcomings.
- For example, you may not like having a scar on your thigh, or you feel like you sometimes become too intrusive. Knowing this will help you make better choices when getting to know a guy. You can tell him about the scar early on to understand how he will react and make a conscious effort to be less intrusive and apologize if you catch yourself doing it.

Method 3 of 4: Find the Right Match

1 Focus on having fun instead of looking for a life partner. Even if your ultimate goal is to find the perfect boyfriend, you will have a better chance of success if you just try to have fun. Pick the guys you like and then take the time to connect with them. Take your time to get to know the guy better so that the relationship can grow into something meaningful.
- For example, on a date you can play minigolf or bowling, go to concerts, have picnics, climb mountains, or walk around the local museum.
2 Prioritize what you need and want from a man. This will help you focus on the applicants that match your requirements. Make a list of what you absolutely need to see in your partner, and then make a separate list of what he would like to have. Then prioritize both lists so you know what is non-negotiable and where you are willing to compromise.
- For example, maybe you need a caring, honest guy with an open mind. In addition, he must have a favorite job, as well as love cats and adore hiking.
3 Ask your boyfriend out on a date if you're interested in him. It will probably be scary for you to take the first step, but you might get a great batch this way. If you like someone, invite them to do something fun that you both enjoy (like watching a local band perform). Or offer to join you for a cup of coffee.
- Say, "Would you like to go to this show with me on Friday?" - or: “I'm going to have coffee at McCafé. Would you like to join? "
4 Give your man your undivided attention during your date. Put your phone aside to be present in the moment. Listen to the guy and show interest in what he is talking about. This will show him that you really care about him and want to get to know him better.
- Expect the same in return. If he's on the phone, let him know it's bothering you. Say, "Do you mind if we both put our phones away during our date?" If he continues to use the phone, he may not be who you want.
5 Get to know the guy better before you cross him out of your list of potential partners. As a rule, people are very nervous when they first meet, and it is not so easy to recognize someone in the blink of an eye. Therefore, it is important to spend time with the person before drawing conclusions about them. If you think he might be the right choice, go on a few dates with him to see if you might be successful.
- If you meet a guy and he just doesn't hook you, it's okay to cut off the conversation. However, do not give up on an option that fits a lot of your points, but does not immediately resonate in your soul.
Advice: just as you shouldn't immediately cross out a guy, so true love doesn't happen overnight. If you find yourself falling in love with someone you just met, be careful because you may be romanticizing their image.
6 Don't judge new partners based on the actions of your ex. Chances are, you've had your heart broken several times, and it's great that you've learned from this experience. However, try not to jump to conclusions about the new guy. Give him the credit until you see evidence of his bad deeds.
- For example, suppose your ex said he was working late when in fact he was cheating on you. If your new boyfriend says he's working late, don't automatically assume he's cheating. Perhaps he just needs to stay late at work.
7 Maintain mutual independence after starting a relationship. In a healthy relationship, both partners are able to maintain independence. This means that you both need to have space to pursue your interests, spend time with your family, and maintain friendships. Do not give up on self-study and do not expect the same from a man.
- Of course, it's great to share a lot of interests with a guy. Just don't feel like the two of you have to spend every moment together.
- For example, you can go out with your girlfriends while the guy is having fun with his friends.

Method 4 of 4: Watch for Warning Signs

1 Reimagine the relationship if the guy doesn't respect your boundaries. Once you share your expectations with him, he should start to respect your wishes. If he doesn't, then he doesn't really respect you. Discuss your feelings with him and end the relationship if he continues to ignore your boundaries.
- For example, you asked him not to call you while you were celebrating a friend's birthday, but he called eight times and left two messages. He ignored your boundaries, this is not normal.
- Likewise, suppose you have a child and you don't want to introduce him to a man until things develop into a serious relationship. If your new boyfriend unexpectedly shows up at your home to give your child a toy and say hello before you're ready, then he doesn't respect your boundaries.
2 Pause the relationship if he is not fully open with you. Of course, it is unlikely that a man will tell you everything about his life in the early stages of a relationship, but you should feel that you get to know him better. In addition, he must freely share the most important information in his life. If it seems to you that he is not saying something or, perhaps, is hiding something, it is better to pause the communication. Tell your boyfriend that you expect him to be completely transparent if you're going to be together.
- Perhaps he gives vague or short answers when you ask questions about his life.For example, you asked, "Do you see yourself in marriage in the future?" If he answers: "The future plays with all colors" - or: "Who knows if the future will come" - this is a sign that he is not open with you.
3 Take a step back if he speaks down to you. You deserve a relationship with someone who respects and cares for you. A good person will not humiliate you, try to prove that you are wrong, or harm your self-esteem. If you're dating a guy who makes you feel bad about yourself, consider breaking up in order to find someone better.
- For example, if he says something like, "You can't do anything right," or, "You sound like crazy right now," then he is using verbal violence. Better to part with him.
4 Break off the relationship if he tries to control what you do and who you see. You don't give up your independence or autonomy when you enter a relationship. Your man has no right to tell you what you can and cannot do. This includes what you wear, who you spend time with, and when you come and go. If he tries to control you, break up with him immediately, because the situation will only get worse.
- It may seem like a little bit of a small matter, but directions for what you should wear or asking why you are wearing makeup can be an early sign of control problems. You have the right to do whatever you want, so don't waste your time with the guy who will command you.

Tips

Don't chase guys who aren't ready to love you. If a guy isn't giving you the attention you want, move on to another man.
Don't make romance the main focus of your life. Having more interests will help you feel more fulfilled and make you a more attractive partner.