Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to Stabilize Existing Love
• Method 2 of 3: How to Cultivate Love That Is Just Beginning
• Method 3 of 3: Let love develop slowly and gradually
• Tips

Our emotions are naughty little rascals! They belong to us, but sometimes it seems that we have no power over them. Do you want to reduce your feelings of love? To love a person stronger? To make your feeling more stable? Then you need to take revenge and learn to control your own emotions. By developing a few new good habits, you can achieve your goal.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to Stabilize Existing Love

1. 1 Don't let yourself get hung up on one person. Whether we like it or not, our thoughts govern our emotions. If the thought of a person occurs to us, it becomes much more difficult to control emotions, especially if you thinking all the time about him. That is why, when thoughts about a person again arise in your head, immediately be distracted by something. Do any business. Of course, these thoughts will arise from time to time, but you can fight them back. No, I don’t want to, thanks!
   • This tip works for everything from lessening falling in love to dieting or quitting smoking. As an example, let's say you suddenly have the thought of a fruit cake. Up to this point, you have not even felt hungry. You didn't want sweet things at all. But all of a sudden, you start thinking about cake. Now you can imagine its creamy filling and delicate taste. You can feel the taste of aromatic strawberry juice on your tongue and hear the crunch of a delicate crust. The more you get lost in your thoughts, the more you convince yourself that you want this cake. It's time to think about how you would feel if you stopped your fantasy thirty seconds ago. You wouldn't want this dessert at all.
2. 2 Make an If-then plan. Research shows that we make better decisions when we plan them in advance... We cannot control our desires, but we are able to control our actions. If you want to go on a diet, the "I won't want to eat fries anymore" mindset isn't the right plan. It's right to say to yourself: "I won't there is fries. ”Similarly, when you feel the urge to love that person, replace it with something else. If you want to call your loved one, call your mom better. If if you want to check SMS thirty-third times this evening, it is better to sit down at the computer and go to battle in "Tanks". This plan will help you cope with your desires and replace them with more constructive behavior.
   • Let's continue with the cake example. You love cakes very much and this is starting to turn into a problem for you. And so you lie in bed in the evening and say to yourself: "From tomorrow I will stop eating cakes. It's simple." And what? The next day, you have a couple of fruit baskets for breakfast. Much better to think to yourself, “Tomorrow, if I want to eat a cake, I’ll buy myself a low-sugar cube. Next time, I’ll get myself a savory low-fat brownie. And on Saturday I’ll eat some whipped cream from the top of the cake and some strawberries. And finally, I can eat just strawberries. " This plan will be much easier for you to stick to.
3. 3 Spend more time with other people. This does not mean that you should spend less time with someone or someone you love. This means spending more time with other people (although these two decisions often go hand in hand). If you return home in the evening and you have a lot of free time, your brain has absolutely nothing to do, and little by little the feelings creep into your soul again. But if you have invited a bunch of friends to visit, you will not have a moment to be alone. You will get a lot of pleasure from communication - it's so great!
   • Moreover, gradually you will become imbued with the belief that other people are also interesting to you, and the time spent with them benefits you. Each person is valuable in their own way, and you will miss a lot if you do not get to know the people around you properly. What a fortune that all these wonderful people are next to you, and you can spend time together in a useful and interesting way. Such communication will only benefit both you and your psychological health.
4. 4 Smile. It is easy to understand that our mind is in control of our body. When we are happy, we smile; when we are upset, we cry. But sometimes things are not so simple. The bottom line is that this mind-body relationship works in both directions... If you want to force your mind to experience a feeling, you just need to transmit a certain bodily signal to it. When you smile, you feel happy and ready to start laughing for any reason. At this point, your mind is full of small, nimble endorphins that make you feel so much better. Again thoughts of that person? Go away!
   • Be brave, try it! Right now! Smile and keep a happy expression for a while. The chin is up, the shoulders are straightened and a smile is on the lips. You will be surprised, but soon you already feel a little better. And you know what else? Research has shown that smiling makes us more attractive to those around us, can change our moods, deal with stress, improve immune function and even lower blood pressure.
5. 5 Practice meditation. Meditation and smiling help control not love in general, but emotions in particular. Both can help you become happier and find peace of mind. It makes you feel better, live like you want and think about what you want. It is much easier to avoid being completely obsessed with one person when you are able to achieve a state of concentration and concentration of your mind.
   • All you need is 15 minutes daily to focus on, well, let's just say, nothing. A little time to relax and immerse yourself in something that gives you a sense of peace. You can also practice traditional meditation (ohmmm), and just sit on the couch reading your favorite book, if that's more to your taste. If an activity allows you to find peace of mind, do it.
6. 6 Do what you love. The best way to distract yourself from thinking about this person is to fill your life with activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. If you love playing guitar, play from morning till night. If you like to draw, draw. If you like dressing up dolls in circus costumes and taking pictures of the performance - do it! Irrelevantwhat exactly you are doing if your activity allows your minds to move in the correct, positive course.
   • When a significant portion of your time is devoted to a cause that gives you a purpose in life, everything else fades into the background. The feelings you want to get rid of are leaving you. Getting hung up on someone? This is already in the past. You are calm, cool and collected because you literally have things are more interestingthan to be addicted to this person.

Method 2 of 3: How to Cultivate Love That Is Just Beginning

1. 1 Spend time together. When you are with a person, learn to be with him or her for real. This advice will seem elementary to you. However, try to remember the last time you were with a person and felt that you were only busy with each other? Didn't talk on the phone, didn’t look at people around you, didn’t change TV channels - were you really with each other? If you can be that person, then your loved one will appreciate you more, and you will feel that you are firmly connected with each other.
   • It doesn't matter if the other person is trying to build a relationship with you, do you want you yourself develop relationships or are trying to transfer existing relationships to a qualitatively new level. Sometimes it takes hard work to develop love, including at the very beginning of a relationship. While you cannot bring yourself to love another person, it is entirely possible to light a fire in your heart and help love develop if there is attraction and mutual sympathy between you. The first step on this path is learning how to truly be together.
2. 2 Be open. Each of us has acquaintances who are always closed and never open up to other people. Why are they doing this? Sometimes the reason is that a person avoids attachment to people. The closer we become to a person, the more difficult it is to part with him later. If you want your love to grow stronger, you need to be willing to show the person your vulnerability. Share your thoughts and feelings, and soon you will feel such strong bonds between you.
   • You can start small. Just tell the person something about your past. Then you can move on to stories about what you love and what you don't. Let the person know how other people and life events make you feel. At the same time, you should not immediately open your whole soul to a person and dump your most secret fears on him. You will have the opportunity to do this when you are ready.
3. 3 Try to understand the true essence of a person. The more we open up to another person, the more he or she opens up to us in return. You will begin to comprehend the uniqueness of another person, and this experience can be truly exciting and unexpected. Gradually you will see how multifaceted, extraordinary and interesting the personality of this person is. The dynamic development of relationships can give you a lot of strong emotions.
   • Take time to think about how your loved one actually lives, and not in your imagination. It's great that he can see you! Is there anything about him or her that surprises you? But now he is thinking about something, and you, perhaps, will never know about these thoughts. If you can see how an extraordinary person is around, it will be difficult for you not to love him.
4. 4 Look inside yourself. Sometimes our feelings are very indirectly related to another person. We take events and circumstances into account and interpret them from our point of view. Thus, we simply do not give our brain the opportunity to see the situation from a different point of view. Thus, the next time you think about your loved one, try not to think about yourself first.
   • Consider this situation: Your husband comes home from work and immediately turns on the TV. You are upset because you feel that your spouse does not love and ignore you. Of course, you are entitled to such feelings, but try to make an effort on yourself and admit that this is his personal time. Do not take this behavior as a personal insult. If you give yourself the opportunity to look at the situation from a different angle, there will be fewer obstacles in the path of your love.
5. 5 Let go of fear and mistrust. Sometimes they have nothing to do with life's circumstances and are due to our own inner problems. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship yet? Maybe you still haven't learned to love yourself, which is why it is difficult for you to love another person? Take a close look at yourself and think about what negative emotions are holding you back from moving forward. If you learn to conquer these emotions, your love story will sparkle with new colors.
   • When a person starts a relationship, overwhelmed by their own fears and distrust of the world, they are likely to end in failure. We are afraid to trust the person and allow ourselves to be loved because of the fear that we are not worthy of it. These fears overwhelm us precisely when we most need love. To enable our love to blossom, we must overcome these fears.It's not that easy, but you can do it if you consciously look yourself in the face and want to improve.

Method 3 of 3: Let love develop slowly and gradually

1. 1 Move forward slowly. Have you seen how small children take their first steps? They are not yet sure that they can reach the wall, but they believe in themselves and hope to succeed. They step very slowly and carefully. Now the child comes to a place, and you see how an innocent infant smile illuminates his face. You feel like the baby is happy about his success. His eyes simply glow with happiness, and a victorious smile plays on his lips. Remember this as you develop your relationship with the person. Move forward slowly, remain calm and trust in fate.
   • New relationships are so exciting at first that it is during this period that most of us tend to commit rash acts. Try to keep a cool head as much as possible and move forward very slowly. This will help you avoid being overly emotional and protect yourself from future vulnerabilities.
2. 2 Spend time with your friends. Of course, when a new love has come into your life, the temptation is great to devote all your time to your loved one. Unfortunately, sometimes this leads to the fact that the relationship literally burns out. You become obsessive, suffer and hardly remember how you can live without another person. To avoid this, try to maintain your relationships with your friends. They were with you before you met love, they are in your life now, when love develops and exists, and they will be next to you later, when you need the help of friends to piece together your own broken heart. Don't lose close friends!
   • More importantly, friends can help you keep your peace of mind and see things in a healthy way. It is not only the ability to get sound advice that matters, but also the simple opportunity to spend time with good people. Your thoughts will not be occupied all the time by one single person, and you will remain a versatile, interesting person. After all, you have always been this or that, and your long relationship with friends only proves that.
3. 3 Keep a cool head. If you tend to fall passionately in love at first sight, it will be helpful from time to time (or more often) to turn on your head and think sensibly. At this moment, you look at your life (or at life in general) with an open mind and try to think logically. Here are a few thoughts to help contain your love frenzy:
   • This person is wonderful, we do not argue. But, reasoningly, he is hardly the most wonderful person in the world. After all, people are quite similar to each other.
   • Love comes and goes. Your previous relationship has exhausted itself, and it may very well happen that the same story will repeat itself with the current ones. You can try to get as much from them as possible while the relationship continues.
   • Emotions are fickle. You only experience them as long as you believe in their existence. As soon as you change your mind, you will stop experiencing these feelings. This means that your feeling that your emotions have taken over you is just a trick of your mind. These are just tiny molecules of hormones playing around in your brain - and nothing else.
4. 4 Take some time to cool down. You should not constantly wait for the object of love near his or her home, send bouquets of flowers, leave postcards with confessions on the windshield of a car, or beg the person to spend all their free time with you. Take a breather and try to focus on staying cool, calm, and collected. When emotions attack you, recognize the emotional attack. After that, you will have the opportunity to think rationally how to react to this emotional outburst.
   • If you feel yourself losing your cool, take a step back. Exhale and come up with a plan that will distract you somewhat.Play a computer game, call a friend, or go shopping. It is important to recognize in time that emotions are overwhelming you, and this does not meet your current interests. If necessary, call a friend and tell them that you are overwhelmed by excitement / love fever / craziness and ask them to distract you for a bit. After all, that's when we need friends.
5. 5 Let everything take its course. Sometimes people get so confused in their complexes that they try to remake reality to match their ideas about the right life and ideal love. They say, "I love you," too quickly, they marry too quickly and even end up too quickly. Give yourself time to get to know yourself and understand what exactly makes you behave in one way or another. Do you really love this particular person, or do you just need at least someone to whom you can say: "I love you"?
   • When you feel that everything is right, that everything is subject to an unknown force that you cannot resist, let everything take its course. If you try to control your feelings, you will only get more caught up in these ideas and feelings, and this will begin to affect your behavior. Instead, just go with the flow. All is well in due time.

Tips

• Don't forget to spend time with your friends. If you give up hanging out with them for the sake of your romantic relationship, your friends may not be there when you need their support.