Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Coping with the Anxiety
• Part 2 of 3: Be yourself in the presence of your adored object
• Part 3 of 3: Get to know your loved one better
• Tips
• Warnings

We all get a little nervous in the presence of an object of adoration. As a rule, excitement grows from feelings for this person and from the desire to receive reciprocity from him. Be yourself and relax a little so that your communication flows more naturally.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Coping with the Anxiety

1. 1 Remind yourself that this person is most likely worried too. Everyone gets nervous when they are around the object of their adoration, and that's okay! This is actually a very common occurrence.
   • Some people know how to behave confidently outwardly, despite the excitement seething inside. Even if the person behaves very calmly and confidently, they may be worried as much as you do.
2. 2 Think, what if the person finds your excitement charming? Each of us is unique and each of us likes different things. While many people are attracted to confident and outgoing personalities, there are those who are attracted by shyness and anxiety.
   • It's okay to admit that you're nervous because it gives the other person the opportunity to do the same. You might also add that you are worried for some good reason, such as because the person is very handsome or because you have a liking for them. This will help him calm down and not think that you’re nervous because you don’t like him or because you don’t know how to get rid of him.
3. 3 Make a joke in an awkward situation. If anything awkward happens, such as stuttering or spilling a drink, release the tension by laughing at the situation. Crack a joke or get ready for self-irony.
   • If this is your adored object says or does something awkward, in any case, do not laugh at him. Smile and say something encouraging, for example, “This happens even to the best of us,” or, “The other day, the same thing happened to me! Everything is good".
4. 4 Treat the subject of your adoration like an ordinary person. Many people like to attach great importance to their chosen ones or to put them on a podium. However, by taking a step back and reminding yourself that this is an ordinary person, you can calm down a little.
   • Behave nice, generous and courteous, while "not kissing the sand" on which the object of adoration walked. Treating him like a deity will only create unnecessary pressure from thinking that you must always act in a certain way.
5. 5 Behave naturally around the subject of your adoration. This may be easier said than done, but the more you try to behave in a certain way, the more obvious and fake it will seem. Take a few deep breaths and be yourself. This will make your behavior appear genuine and unique, rather than feigned and unnatural, which will induce your adored person to behave in the same way.

Part 2 of 3: Be yourself in the presence of your adored object

1. 1 Show your real personality. Many people mistakenly believe that they need to pretend to be who they are not in order to get another person to love them. Be yourself in the presence of the subject of adoration, and he will appreciate you for who you are.
   • To show your true nature, share your interests, hobbies, and music you love, tell jokes you find funny, and behave in a manner that is comfortable for you.
   • Never apologize for who you are! If the person doesn't understand or appreciate your individuality, consider whether it's worth pursuing a romantic relationship with them.
2. 2 Build a friendship with the subject of adoration. A great way to get comfortable in his presence is to make friends with him first. As you get to know each other better, focus on building friendship and trust between you. In the future, you will feel calmer and more comfortable around this person.
   • You can even try to behave the way you behave with your friends. Treating your adored object as a friend and thinking of it as a friend may help you feel more comfortable.
3. 3 Be confident in your appearance. This tip is especially true for girls. We often think that in the presence of a loved one we should always look perfect. However, showing confidence even when you don't look your best can help you relax around him.
   • Wear clothes that are comfortable for you. You don't always have to dress to impress. It is perfectly acceptable to wear jeans and a T-shirt or even sweatpants if you are spending time at home. If you're going out on a date with your loved one, figure out where you're going, or at least get an idea of ​​how to dress better. Dressing comfortably but in a way that suits your surroundings will boost your self-confidence.
   • Good hygiene also contributes to comfort and self-confidence. Make sure to shower and trim your nails regularly, and brush your teeth twice a day.
4. 4 Accept yourself for who you are. Many people believe that the most attractive quality of a person is the ability to love himself for who he is. Know your flaws, but accept them because it will help you relax more around anyone, especially your loved one.
   • Be kind and condescending to yourself if you do or say anything stupid. Chances are, your adored one will find it cute and adorable, and if this is an isolated occasion, it will quickly be forgotten.

Part 3 of 3: Get to know your loved one better

1. 1 Spend more quality time with your crush. One of the easiest ways to feel more comfortable around someone is to just spend more time with them. You can invite him to chat in private or plan a group event where many people will be present, including your chosen one. SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Maria Avgitidis

   
   
   Matchmaker and Dating Specialist Maria Avgitidis is the Executive Director and Matchmaker at Agape Match, a dating service in New York City. As a fourth generation matchmaker, for over 10 years, she has successfully combined the traditions of her family with modern psychology of relationships and matchmaking technologies to help clients meet their other half. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.

   Maria Avgitidis
   Matchmaker and Dating Specialist

   Our specialist agrees: “It's okay to feel 'butterflies in your stomach', but the more time you spend with your loved one, the more the excitement will fade away. Uncertainty grows out of the ego (part of the mind and personality) as a way to defend against rejection. "

   
   
2. 2 Ask your loved one open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are those that require a more detailed answer than just "yes" or "no." By learning more about the subject of adoration, you can find common interests and relax.
   • "What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?"
   • "What's your favorite childhood memory?"
   • "What's the coolest place you've visited?"
   • "What do you like most about your family?"
   • "What's your favorite genre of music?"
   • "Where do you like to spend your time the most?"
   • “If money wasn't an issue, what would you do with your life? Why?"
   • “If you were an animal, what kind? Why?"
   • “If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go? Why?"
   • “Have you traveled a lot? Where have you been?"
   • "What is your favorite hobby?"
   • "What's the most exotic dish you've ever tasted?"
3. 3 Answer questions about yourself honestly. It is very important to be honest with yourself, because pretending will ultimately backfire. A loved one at a certain moment finds out the truth, and then the chance for a relationship with him will most likely be missed.
   • Honesty will build trust between you. Think about how you would feel if you found out that your chosen one lied to you.
4. 4 Offer to do something that both of you enjoy. When you meet and date someone you love, suggest activities that both of you are interested in and that you both will enjoy. This makes it easier for you to break the ice when there are awkward pauses.
   • Spend time with mutual friends.
   • Go see a live music performance at a club or concert.
   • Play board games or video games that you both are familiar with.
   • Have a movie marathon with movies that you both enjoy.

Tips

• Always be nice to your loved one. This is very important for building trust and comfort, and it will lay a good foundation for a relationship. Even if the person does or say something embarrassing, be friendly to him - do not humiliate him. Showing respect will pay off!
• Don't take your adored item too seriously, and also tease it mildly by showing your excellent sense of humor.

Warnings

• Don't chase a relationship with someone who is trying to get you to do things you don't want. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a dangerous and frightening position.