Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: Describe your ideal partner
• Method 2 of 4: Determine your priorities
• Method 3 of 4: Making your relationship a success
• Method 4 of 4: Finding the “True”
• Tips

Choosing your life partner - the one you want to share the rest of your life with - is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make. It can be really nice and mutually enriching to spend most of your life with the one you love, but finding and choosing the right one can be a daunting task. Luckily most people go through that, so you're not alone: ​​in the US, only 5% of the total population has never married and is not planning to. If you have a realistic idea of ​​who is right for you, really do your best to find them, and really choose your relationship, you too can share the rest of your life with your loved one.

To step

Method 1 of 4: Describe your ideal partner

1. View yourself realistically and precisely. Your journey to find a life partner starts with you. To know who suits you best, you need to know exactly who you are. Know what you like and what you don't, what you are good at and what you are not good at. Know what you expect from life and what you expect from your partner. Be realistic and honest with yourself. If you find this self-examination difficult, you can ask your best friends to help you.
   • The most important: love yourself with all your mistakes. You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself. If you're trying to get into a lifelong relationship while having a negative self-image, chances are you will damage yourself and the people closest to you, so you should take this important first step before moving on.
2. Set your life goals. Two people who spend their entire lives together should agreeing on almost all (or even all) important life decisions. Disagreeing on an important non-negotiable aspect of your life can ruin the relationship even if two people otherwise get along perfectly. Be open and honest about these goals - fooling yourself about this can lead to lifelong regret and it is not fair to your partner. For further elaboration of this point, please refer to the "Priorities" section below. Below are some of those important questions that you should know the answers to before choosing your life partner:
   • Do I want children?
   • Where do I want to live?
   • Do I want to work or do the housework (or both)?
   • Do I want an exclusive relationship?
   • What do I want to achieve before I die?
   • What kind of standard of living do I want?
3. Draw your conclusions from previous relationships. If you're having a hard time thinking about what to expect from a partner or what you want with your life, you can think back to relationships you've had before. The choices you make, consciously or unconsciously, in your relationships can get you started on the kinds of things you look for in a partner, and perhaps the kinds of things you need to work on yourself to make a long-term relationship successful. can make. Below are a few questions to ask yourself about past relationships:
   • What did you like about your partner?
   • What did you enjoy doing together the most?
   • What did you disagree about?
   • What did you criticize your partner?
   • What did your partner criticize you about?
   • Why did it go out?
4. Ask a lot of questions early on in the relationship. When you meet someone new and start dating, talk about them. Ask what they like in a partner, what their life goals are, and what their long-term plans are. For long-lasting harmony, your partner's ethics, interests, spiritual beliefs and even diet can be important, so don't be afraid to ask about all those things!
   • You have to ask questions about all areas of life. For example, whether he / she smokes, uses alcohol or drugs. Does he / she have issues? Is he / she a supportive and understanding figure when you want to make important career decisions?
   • To be clear, these aren't questions you should ask right away on your first date. Asking very personal questions right away can get in the way of your attempts to build a relationship with someone. But you probably want these kinds of questions or important areas of life to be clear within a month or six of the start of your relationship.

Method 2 of 4: Determine your priorities

1. Decide whether or not you want children. This decision is huge important; perhaps the most important decision you have to make with your partner. Yet there is a surprisingly large number of couples who do not discuss this in detail before starting a lifelong relationship. Raising a child can be the most beautiful thing you will ever do, but it is also a huge financial responsibility and you have to decide that for about 18 years (maybe even longer) you will be directly responsible for caring for your child. so it is not something to be taken lightly.
   • In the US, most people want children, but that is by no means obvious so don't assume until you are sure what your partner feels about it.
2. Decide how important your culture and religion are to you. For many people, cultural or religious traditions are very defining; others are agnostic or atheist and have little separate culture or tradition. Both are legitimate, but for some partners, someone on the other end of the spectrum is not a happy choice for a long-term relationship. Before you go into business with someone, it is important that you have a clear picture of whether or not it is important to you that your partner is in the same position.
   • To be clear, it is entirely possible that people of different race, faith or culture have happy lifelong relationships with each other. In the US today, there are more mixed couples than ever.
3. Think about how you want to handle your money. Money is an awkward topic to talk about, but it is important that two life partners agree on it. Money plays an important role in how your life turns out: it can determine how long the partners have to work, the type of work they do, the type of life they can live and much more. For anyone considering a lifelong relationship, it is essential to have an open conversation about how you want to save and spend as a couple.
   • As an example of the type of financial decisions couples need to make, consider this: if one partner wants to travel extensively and explore the world between the ages of 25 and 35, and the other partner wants to use this time to make a successful to build a career and save for a house, neither of them will likely get their way.
4. Decide how your partner should fit into your family (and vice versa). Our family shapes the way we think and behave for a lifetime. For anyone considering sharing their life with someone, it is imperative to have a clear understanding of how your partner should fit into your family. You both want to know what role you want your partner to play in your family (i.e. you and any children you may have) but also in your family (i.e. your parents, siblings, nephews / nieces, etc.) and vice versa, your partner should also thinking about you.
   • For example, for some couples with children, it is very important that one of the parents takes care of the children full-time. For others it is fine for a nanny to fill in the gaps. Or, some people want to live close to their parents and visit often, while others want to be more independent.
5. Decide what kind of life you want to live. This is an important decision, but fortunately it is usually quickly clear how your partner wants to live when you spend a lot of time together. You and your partner must have similar ideas about what you want to do in your spare time, how you want to interact with your friends, and what kind of material things you pursue. And although you are not talking about it everything need to agree with each other, you should certainly not disagree on matters that require important decisions or obligations.
   • For example, a couple in which one partner wants to watch wrestling every Monday night and the other partner wants to watch wildlife movies at the same time will probably work it out (especially if they decide to buy a DVD recorder). But if one partner wants to buy a house and the other doesn't, or one partner wants to "swing" and the other doesn't, that lifelong happiness is a serious obstacle.
6. Think about where you want to live. Sometimes location is the foundation of a couple's happiness. Many people want to live near friends or relatives with whom they have a good relationship, or in an environment where certain activities are possible. If two partners cannot be happy in the same environment, it becomes at the very least inevitable to be on the road a lot.

Method 3 of 4: Making your relationship a success

1. Let go of your expectations. If you are trying to maintain a relationship, you should not expect your partner to become someone other than he / she is. While it's possible that a couple can compromise on all kinds of important issues, and you can even change a little bit for your partner, essentially most people just stay themselves in the long run. Don't be under any illusions about your partner by attributing traits to him / her that he / she just doesn't have. And don't expect your partner to change significantly to please you.
   • For example, it's okay if you ask your partner (politely, of course) to take the dirt out every now and then - that's a topic you can find a compromise on. But it's not okay to expect your partner to suddenly decide that he wants kids if he doesn't already want to - that's a highly personal decision that cannot be reversed.
2. Be honest about who you are. Just as you shouldn't try to deny or change important traits of your partner, it is also important to do that with yourself. When you are dating, it can be tempting to try to please someone by distorting the facts about your past or present. But this not only leads to a feeling of guilt, it also increases the risk of problems in the future. If the other eventually finds out the truth, mutual trust in the relationship will suffer greatly.
   • For example, it's okay to dress a little nicer than usual for first dates, but you shouldn't pretend to be an agnostic if you're actually quite religious to please your partner. Misleading your partner about who you are - by lying or by withholding information about yourself - is a kind of trickery that most people have a hard time getting over.
3. Spend a lot of time with your potential partner. How can you best find out if you can spend a lot of time with someone else? Just try! To know whether a relationship can be successful in the long term, it is important to spend a lot of time in each other's company (preferably in all kinds of different situations). If you can get it out with someone for days, weeks, or months in a row, it might be the one.
   • You probably also want to know if they can get along with the people who are close to you (and vice versa). Take your partner to your social obligations and introduce him / her to your friends and family. If your partner gets along well with these people, you don't have to worry about it anymore.
4. Take your time. You're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, so there's no need to rush. Allow your relationship to develop. Don't stick to a casual schedule to take the important relationship steps such as dating, living together, and getting married. If you rush these decisions, you run the risk of finding yourself in unexpected situations with someone who may think very differently about life's priorities than you do.
   • You definitely want to hold off getting intimate with a potential partner until you get to know them better. In principle, it's quite possible to grow a superficial relationship into something serious, but your longer-term happiness shouldn't depend on sexual intimacy. If you get along well sexually, it is an important condition for a long-term relationship, but waiting gives you the opportunity to better discover whether you really fit together.
5. Monitor how you conduct yourself when your partner is around. If you find yourself acting unnaturally, pretending to feel differently that you actually do, or laughing at things you don't actually find funny, it could be a sign that you don't really feel comfortable with him / her in the neighborhood. But if you are relaxed and feel completely yourself when they are there, you are on the right track. It is important that you can be yourself with your partner nearby. Ultimately, likes no one full to keep playing a role - you don't want this to happen to you after 5 years of marriage.
6. Be willing to make sacrifices. No relationship is perfect. There will come a time when you will have to put your own needs aside for the sake of your partner. And you have to decide how far you want to go in that - in most good relationships there is a healthy balance between give and take from both partners.
   • When it comes to making sacrifices for the sake of your relationship, you need to be able to talk about small things like minor habits and behaviors. But big life goals shouldn't be in question, as a serious disagreement over them can be a sign that two people just don't fit together. For example, if you have a wife and children, it is a reasonable sacrifice to decide to go out with your friends a little less often. But you shouldn't do it to yourself not to have children if you really want children.

Method 4 of 4: Finding the “True”

1. Be proactive. There is someone for everyone to find - all you have to do is go and find them. If you're not doing your best to meet new people, try new things, or just get out of your house, the chances of meeting your one are minimal. So if you are looking for your life partner you have to start by taking action and getting out the door. Try to spend at least some of your free time in fun social events, getting to know new people, and just getting out into the wide world.
   • Most dating experts recommend a proactive approach. There are even those who think that you should put as much energy into it as you do in your career!
2. Meet people while doing something you enjoy. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to spend every Friday night in a noisy, overcrowded and overpriced nightclub to run into potential partners, nor do you need to be an impeccably dressed, courteous Hollywood type. Such an approach can be used some people work very well, but most of them succeed mainly by just doing the things they enjoy. If you do that, there is a good chance that you will meet people with the same interests and expectations as yourself, and you will immediately have similarities.
   • Even solo hobbies can be an opportunity to meet people. Do you enjoy reading comics and playing video games? Go to a conference! Do you like to paint? Go to an exhibition! Do you like to write? Join a writing course! There are fun activities for almost every area of ​​interest, so find out!
3. Be yourself. You're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with so doesn't it make sense to assume that you and your potential life partner should be completely honest about who you are? In fact, many people don't want to expose themselves completely until they get to know someone well. If you can take it, try to be completely true to yourself at all stages of the relationship right from the start: asking someone out, your first dates, getting to know each other better, making a commitment to each other, and everything that comes after. When you do that, you give your partner the opportunity to fall in love your true self, and he / she doesn't have to wait for you to dare to be yourself.
4. Do not be afraid. The road to finding your mate can seem dangerous. It may seem like there is almost no way you will find someone who is right for you, especially if you have recently been disappointed in love. But whatever you do, never give up and never let the fear that you won't find anyone will overtake you. All over the world, people are facing the same love-related difficulties that you may be right now. Everyone has a setback sometimes. There is no one right way to find your mate, so don't compare yourself to other people or couples. Don't let negative thoughts spoil your search for a life partner. Confidence, courage and perseverance are the key to finding the right person for you!
   • And as an added bonus: self-confidence is generally considered quite sexy! Confidence and courage are qualities that strengthen themselves and make you more attractive to potential partners: the more confident you have when dating, the more relaxed you will be, the more fun you will have and the greater your confidence will be in dating. next one date.

Tips

• Find out what interests you, what you like and what you don't, what your priorities are, and what is important to you. You cannot possibly expect exactly the same from your intended partner, but you must be able to trust that he / she respects and accepts those things.
• The secret to a successful relationship is simple - a sense of humor and complete honesty. Without it, you are left empty-handed.
• Never, ever allow anyone to abuse you, verbally or physically… it's just not acceptable and you have to get out of there as soon as possible.