Content

• Steps

Many people work hard to initiate a long-term relationship, but they don't always know what to do to maintain love and affection once the relationship is established. Many real life problems, finances, parenting or other factors often prevent you from focusing on the love and happiness you feel for your partner. You can regain those feelings if you are willing to put in the time and effort.

Steps

Method 1 of 5: Communicating with a spouse

1. 

   Assert your needs clearly. Don't expect your longtime partner to read your mind. If you find yourself getting frustrated because the other person is not meeting your needs and wants, try talking about the needs you have outlined.
   • For example, you may feel as though your partner doesn't take you seriously because they don't tell you that they appreciate you. Chances are they appreciate and recognize all the things you do, but they don't say a word. In this case, you can tell them: “Sometimes I feel you are not loved. If only you would say thank you for what I did and thank you for that, I will feel you are appreciated ”.
   • Another example would be if you feel as though you are no longer attractive because they are not usually sexually suggestive. In this case, tell them how you feel and explain how you want them to act differently.

2. 

   
   
   Ask about your spouse's needs. When discussing your emotional needs, make sure you give emotional responses by asking what your partner needs. If they tend to be less emotionally open, you need to help them find the language to communicate their needs. Be patient and realize that they may need time to think about it before responding. If they need time, don't forget to keep track of the progress. When they talk to you, really listen and try to understand what they have to say.

3. 

   
   
   Be sensitive to your partner's needs. Once you have shared a need, you should try to act on that sharing. You can even create an “action plan” together to start meeting each other's needs.
   • For example, if your partner wants you to verbally share his / her appreciation, you can set a reminder on the phone to compliment them several times a week.
   • You could say, “Thank you for planning and arranging our upcoming vacation. I know you have been working so hard to make things go well for the whole family ”or“ It means a lot for you to wake me up and prepare breakfast before I go to work this morning. The little things you do always make my life more comfortable ”.
   • If your partner has shared that they want you to provoke sex more often, give it a try. Sometimes a little effort in romance can help in a long-term relationship. Don't underestimate the effect of pleasant surprise on your partner.

4. 

   
   
   Optimistic. Too negative can ruin a relationship with someone, and it's really bad for a long-term romantic relationship. Having clear, positive sharing and maintaining a positive outlook on life whenever possible will help maintain a happy relationship.

5. 

   Conflict control. Avoiding all conflicts is almost impossible, and avoiding conflicts is not always the best way to deal with them. Instead, think about managing conflict; this means avoiding them from time to time (just taking time for important things) and working to deal with them at other times.
   • If you and your partner disagree about the conflict management process (like if you want to discuss and resolve the conflict right away but they prefer to have some time to calm down first), you may need to be satisfied. round. Create a plan for how you will resolve future conflicts and respect each individual's preferences.

6. 

   Have a conversation about the "important point". Usually when people start dating, they have conversations about some real life events, dreams for the future, and ambitions. After being together for a long time, conversations can focus more on who is the one collecting the clothes drying or taking the kids to soccer. Trying to find time and space to have important life conversations and goals can help you feel closer to your partner again. advertisement

Method 2 of 5: Spend quality time together

1. 

   Schedule time to spend alone together. It may seem strange to schedule a date with your own partner, but it is important to keep your relationship a priority. Sometimes the only way to do that is to intentionally add it to the schedule. Invite the other person on a date, handle any necessary details like babysitting or transportation well, and get out and relax together.
   • Determine if you can make that habit, like dating every Saturday night. This can give you a chance to connect and chat about the workdays of the week.

2. 

   Pay special attention to how you look on your date. If you have been with your partner for a long time, they should already be able to see your best and your worst. While it's unrealistic (and perhaps unnecessary) to find yourself great whenever you're together, try “grooming” before going on a date. Think about your first appointment and spend more time preparing them so you can be sure to impress.

3. 

   Take time to have fun. Laughing can create strong connections and strengthen relationships. If you take the time to do something that makes you feel happy — and you do them together — you will feel closer to the other person. Try something new and fun together, or take some time to go out and do something fun.
   • Some of the new things you can try together are try playing a new sport, swinging risky, cross-country, golf, video games, board and card games, or even go join a sporting event together.

4. 

   Hold hand. Go back to the basics of a relationship and evoke intimacy according to the degree of sensitivity by holding hands. Maybe you held the other person's hand on your first date, so why not hold hands right now? Gently touching each other outside of your bedroom can help you feel close and renew your relationship.

5. 

   Flirting more and be considerate. Thinking about love is an action. Every day, find ways to show your spouse how much you care about them. Do it so they never forget that you love them.

6. 

   Maintain intimacy. Don't neglect your sex life just because you have other needs in life. If necessary, plan or schedule intimate moments. Add romance to your schedule, and chat about how to energize your love if it seems weak.
   • If you have a problem with your own sex, you might consider seeing a doctor who specializes in physiology.

7. 

   Remember the time to learn love. Go back to where you met or had your first date. If you have children now, go somewhere that you used to regularly before having children but didn't go there for a long time. Returning to these places with a new vision as a couple will help you remember where love started and appreciate the progress you made together.

8. 

   Create a ritual. Rituals can help couples (and families) to establish some common experiences and perspectives. Mark an anniversary, birthday, or a date that is uniquely meaningful to you through a ritual or tradition that brings you together. It gives you the opportunity to think about past years and predict the future. advertisement

Method 3 of 5: Feeling appreciated

1. 

   Create a map of love. Love Map is a physical representation of a spouse's relationship history. Even if you can't draw a map, you should pay attention to your spouse's emotional “landscape” and try to appreciate the long (often) road that brought you two together until final.

2. 

   Admiring each other. If you have a long term relationship with someone, then you've probably admired them before. He / she has features that you love and attract, and you don't think they always exist. Try to take an objective step back and look at your partner in a new way. Make a list of all the things you admire about them; You can even share this list with them later. However, the value of list creation is to renew your admiration for them.
   • You can try to encourage your partner to admire each other. It may be embarrassing to express and say "I think you should admire me and remember that you are amazing", you can discuss your desire to fully admire them and how you think will help. good for the relationship. This can spur emotional responses that can strengthen the relationship between you two.

3. 

   Build trust. Approach relationships with full confidence. If you think you trust them and deserve to be trusted, and let go of your fear, jealousy, and doubt, then your relationship will be good. Maintaining a healthy relationship takes time, but maintaining trust is positive from the start.
   • If you have a reason to trust your spouse, such as a betrayal in the past, you may need counseling together to re-establish trusting bonds.

4. 

   New commitment. You often make a commitment to a long-term partner, particularly if you are married, but it is beneficial to renew that commitment. A renewal of the vow or a formal ceremony is not required. You just need to decide to renew your commitment and talk to your spouse about it.
   • For example, you could say, “I know we've been married for 17 years, and we've been through a lot together. I just want you to know that I am promising myself for the happiness together, and I will try and be happy to continue to make our relationships and our lives better every day.

5. 

   Write a gratitude diary. A gratitude journal has been shown to help people appreciate what they have and be happier. Journaling that focuses on gratitude for all aspects of your life, including relationships, can help you feel happier and closer to your partner.
   • Even if gratitude is not directly beneficial to the relationship, doing something that makes you feel happier will affect the relationship.

6. 

   Practice taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself and feeling that your emotional needs need to be met can give you the energy and motivation to maintain a relationship with others. You may also feel grateful to your spouse for giving you time to take care of yourself.
   • Each person has a different concept of self-care. It means spending time alone in quiet reflection or taking time to do a favorite hobby or sport.
   • Give your partner the opportunity to take care of themselves. Give them time to take care of themselves and encourage them to pursue what makes them feel satisfied and happy. When you get back together, you often have energy and emotional space to spend more time in the relationship.
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Method 4 of 5: Get help for the relationship

1. 

   Know when you have a problem. If it seems that disagreement with your good intentions is becoming less friendly, you are losing your desire or ability to talk to your partner, you are often ignored when trying to get started. Discussion or intimacy, you may need marriage help.
   • Ups and downs are common in most relationships, but if your "low" doesn't seem to go away, then you probably have a more serious problem. The first step is to talk to your partner about feelings, but it will be necessary to have a concrete “solution” — such as counseling — in mind.

2. 

   Don't hesitate to seek help. Too many couples wait until they separate or are discussing divorce before they seek help. You can seek help to strengthen your relationship before the problem has passed the time to save your feelings.

3. 

   Seek a therapist or consultant. Find a doctor who specializes in marriage counseling. If you are uncomfortable with your doctor, look for another counselor like the one at church or the community leader, who is often trained in counseling couples.
   • Ask friends and family for some recommendations if you are comfortable with others knowing that you are seeking advice. If you know someone who has recently divorced, you can ask if they tried to seek advice before the divorce and if they will recommend a specialist for you.
   • Search online for "marriage counseling" with information in your area to find a professional. If you live in the United States, you can check the list on the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) website. If there are a few reviews available online, read them before choosing a consultant.

4. 

   Look for group classes or places for couples. If you feel that you don't need counseling but want to strengthen your relationship, research group classes or shelters towards relationship building. The person running these places is a counselor with the goal of strengthening the relationship rather than saving it, which may be more appropriate for some couples. advertisement

Method 5 of 5: Should you fall in love all over again?

1. 

   Remember why you fell out of love in as much detail as possible. If it is a matter of time, place, or other circumstances that undermine love, you can pick a few that matter. You need a good reason to love again, because there may be a good reason why you have lost love.
   • Don't rekindle romance if you broke up because of manipulation or abuse if you feel problems for the last relationship are not resolved, or the only reason you two get back together is " appeasement".
2. Ask yourself if the relationship is still good. Falling in love with someone in the first place is great, but only if you are both ready to commit to the relationship. If there are obstacles in life, such as distance, job, or a third person, then there is no reason to join the uphill battle. In other words, don't fall in love when things are not clear.
   • Don't fall in love again if you just want to comfort someone. Don't see love as an old friend you might visit from time to time or someone is sure to hurt you.
3. Give yourself time to get out of love. Are you really out of love? If you are hurt or angry, but still want to stay in the relationship, you may not have enough time to get over it. You do not have the perspective necessary to see things when you are alone. If you want to get back together, then you should go after him / her, but understand that you are still alive if you don't.
   • Don't rebuild your relationship just because you feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable by yourself. Falling in love in the first place will not help you understand yourself and it will not help you to correct other life issues. You should want to love them again, not need them to feel full.
4. Don't force everything. Love is a created emotion. If you think you're out of love and can't fall in love again, then perhaps the real meaning isn't so. People always have feelings of love and then not love, and although this is difficult, there is not always an explanation. Sometimes this just happens. However, by the same argument, your emotions only come out spontaneously from time to time, refreshing love when you think you don't have emotions. Ultimately the best advice for you is to live instinctively, be honest with yourself and your partner, and hope for the best. advertisement