Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to Let Feelings Out
• Method 2 of 3: How to break all ties
• Method 3 of 3: Moving on with your life
• Tips

Everything ends sooner or later, and this also applies to relationships. Now it seems to you that it is impossible to survive the separation, but it is not so. Over time - and with some effort - the pain will begin to go away and you will begin to feel like you again.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to Let Feelings Out

1. 1 Don't keep it all to yourself. Cry. Weep. Scream into your pillow. Shout out harsh words into the void. In the first step, you will feel unhappy. You need to come to terms with these feelings in order to let them go and move on.
   • Scientists have found that mental pain can be recorded in the brain as real physical pain. The brains of people undergoing trauma are like those of a cocaine addict. The best way to overcome heartache is to let your emotions out.
   • Denial will not do you any good.Negative feelings will not disappear and may even return in the future if you simply ignore them.
   • If you are used to overcoming emotions through physical activity, sign up for a gym or start punching a punching bag or a human dummy.
2. 2 Don't let yourself get angry. Perhaps deep down, you feel angry. This is fine, but you shouldn't turn your pain inside out or mask it with aggression. Anger will make you feel less vulnerable. You may feel that anger allows you to control the situation and directs your energy in a certain direction. However, in order to get over the pain and come to terms with the current situation, it is important to allow yourself to feel what lies behind the anger.
   • Anger is a secondary emotion. Perhaps behind the aggression is a feeling of abandonment, disappointment, a feeling of being used, rejected, or disliked. All these feelings make a person vulnerable, so anger can be a means of self-comfort.
   • To understand what is behind anger, listen to what you are saying to yourself. If you think that no one will ever love you, you may be worried about being rejected and not being loved. Try to document your thoughts throughout the day to see how you are feeling.
   • Anger can become obsessive. If you speak unflatteringly about your ex in front of friends or remember every unpleasant little thing in this person's actions, your thoughts continue to return to that person. In other words, anger blinds you and prevents you from moving on.
3. 3 Pamper yourself. Buy yourself candy, eat ice cream straight from the can. Buy a designer bag or new electronic device you've been dreaming of for a long time. Sign up for a spa treatment and dine at the trendy new bistro that everyone is talking about. Times are tough, so you need something to cheer you up, and that's okay.
   • When a person feels bad, he often gravitates for food that can calm him down. Scientists have found that self-indulgence is harmless, provided that the person does not abuse it and does not forget about his health.
   • Set limits for yourself. If you go into debt, pick up a bunch of unnecessary things at home, or gain 20 kilograms, you will get worse. Pamper yourself, but within your budget, and avoid actions that are more disruptive to you.
4. 4 Listen to music. You may want to listen to some sad music. Contrary to popular belief, sad music won't make you worse. Sad music will create the illusion that someone is feeling the same way as you and that you are not alone in your feelings. Also, crying and singing along will release your emotions. This will make you feel better.
   • The therapeutic effect of music has been proven by research. Music can slow your heart rate and help fight stress.
5. 5 Allow yourself to feel empty. When you cry, you may feel empty inside. Do not worry. This is a normal reaction.
   • Often times, the feeling of emptying is a real reflection of the exhaustion of the body. Crying and other forms of expressing emotions take a lot of energy. Because of this, a person may feel weak and unwilling to do anything.
6. 6 Talk to your friends. A close friend will help you get through this difficult period. Sometimes talking about your feelings allows you to let them out and move on. A friend will help you understand that what you are feeling is normal. Also, sharing your feelings will make it easier for you to understand them and solve the problem.
   • You can talk to a friend who will be ready to give you advice, or just a friend who can listen to you. Talking about emotions is just as important as getting your life in order.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Crisis Text Line

   
   
   Free 24/7 Crisis SMS Support Crisis Text Line provides free 24/7 SMS support in crisis situations. A person caught in this situation can text a message to 741741 to get help from a trained crisis psychologist. The service has already exchanged more than 100 million messages with Americans in crisis situations and is expanding rapidly.

   Crisis Text Line
   Free 24/7 crisis support by SMS

   Give yourself time if you find it difficult to talk about past relationships.A Crisis Text Line employee advises: “Opening up and talking about personal relationships can be challenging and takes courage. When it comes to sensitive issues, it is best to rehearse the conversation before reaching out to friends or family. Alternatively, write down everything you want to discuss so that you don't forget anything, or set a specific time and date when you can talk calmly. Most importantly, remember - do this only when you are ready. It's perfectly okay if it takes some time. "

   
   
7. 7 Keep a diary. If you don't want to burden your friends or if you are uncomfortable talking about feelings, write about them. There are many benefits to keeping a diary. A journal can help you understand your feelings and thoughts, understand the behavior of others, relieve stress, solve problems and resolve an argument (by trying to look at the situation from the other person's point of view).
   • You can write in a journal about your feelings or events that you cannot tell others.
8. 8 Limit the amount of time you allow yourself to feel sad. Of course, you need to allow yourself to feel sad, but it is important to understand that at some point it will be better for you to leave the pain in the past and move on. Bad relationships shouldn't stop you from growing and developing in all areas of your life. Give yourself time, but don't be afraid to come back to life and start doing what you used to do again.
   • Set a date or choose a time frame. Allow yourself to mourn the relationship halfway through the relationship. During this time, cry and worry as much as you need. After that, start living on, even if you still feel like crying.

Method 2 of 3: How to break all ties

1. 1 Avoid unnecessary contact. Do not call, write to the person and do not come across his eyes, supposedly by accident. If you want to leave the person in the past, you need to isolate yourself from him so that you and he can heal wounds.
   • Of course, this will not be easy if you study or work together. In this case, you should limit contacts as much as possible and leave only the interaction that is necessary for work or study. Do not try to avoid the person with all your might, but do not seek his company either.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Amy chan

   
   
   Relationship Coach Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a recovery camp that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after a relationship ends. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of people in just 2 years of work, and the camp has been noted by CNN, Vogue, The New York Times and Fortune. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

   Amy chan
   Relationship coach

   It takes time to accept a breakup. Renew Breakup Bootcamp founder Amy Chan says: “When you're in a relationship for a long time, your brain gets used to getting a dose of dopamine when interacting with a partner. After the break, your neural network should rebuild, taking into account the fact that your ex is no longer around. Over time, if you exclude all connections with a person, neural connections will weaken. Every time you interact with your ex in one way or another, view old letters from him or check his pages on social networks, these neural connections are activated again. So this is best avoided. "

2. 2 Don't follow the person on the internet. Stop checking his social media pages, reading his blog, or watching other pages. If you dwell on what the person is doing now, it will be difficult for you to move on.
   • If you still want to look at his page, remove him from your friends.
   • If the person has ever given you access to their accounts, ask them to change their password so you won't be tempted to spy on them.
3. 3 Don't settle for intimacy with this person. This applies to both emotional and physical intimacy. You are comfortable with this person, and perhaps even comfortable. Keeping in touch is not a good idea, however, as you will have to relive the breakup when the bond ends.
   • Do not have old memory sex with this person and do not sleep with him from time to time, maintaining a friendly relationship.
   • Such actions can negatively affect the emotional state of both men and women, but it is usually more difficult for women. Due to physical intimacy, women produce oxytocin, a hormone that induces feelings of attachment. Because of this, it will be difficult for you to forget the person - you will become more attached to him.
   • Emotional closeness is also dangerous, even if this closeness was in the past. This connection is deeper, which makes it difficult for you to completely break up with the person.
4. 4 Hide anything that reminds you of the person. Even if you cut off all ties and avoid direct interaction with the person, it will still be difficult for you to forget the person and move on if your home is filled with memorabilia.
   • It is best to collect all your things and store them somewhere until you can look at them calmly. You can not put things away (discs, films), but return them to the person.
   • Don't throw things away or burn them, no matter how painful it may be. What is thrown away cannot be returned. If you regret throwing away an expensive watch or an autographed poster of your favorite artist whose concert you went to with your loved one, you may regret it later.
5. 5 Start building friendships when you're ready. While it may seem impossible, it is actually possible to maintain a friendship with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. If you can't be friends, at least you will be able to respect each other and be calm in the same room.
   • Don't force yourself to become friends with the person. If you can't get over the pain, and communication only complicates everything, do not torture yourself.
   • Start building relationships only after you come to terms with the current state of affairs and realize that you no longer have a romantic interest with the person. Relationship psychologists say that a person needs time for the pain to subside, and for this it is necessary not to communicate. Then calmly talk to the person about what your relationship might be like.
   • Don't try too hard. If once you have already taken a step towards, but the person has not responded, accept the fact that it is impossible to keep the relationship, and live on.

Method 3 of 3: Moving on with your life

1. 1 Leave the house. Take a walk. Travel. Go to an unknown place or where you have already been. It’s important to get out of bed and start doing something, even if what you most want to do is lie down all day and watch sad movies.
   • Move. Exercise can help you cope with the pain. If you lie on the couch all day, you will begin to hate yourself.
2. 2 Chat with your friends. Friends can help you get through a breakup, even if you find it difficult to tell them what is in your heart. When you need to distract yourself and feel that someone needs you, spend an evening in the city with friends.
   • Your friends will appreciate it too, especially if you haven't spent much time with them due to relationships or post-breakup experiences.
   • Don't let your friends force new people on you if you're not ready for a relationship yet.
3. 3 Meet new people. This may seem like a daunting task, but it will make it easier for you to recover. As you meet people, allow yourself to think that there may be someone else who will appreciate you. You may also find that you have a choice.
   • Make new friends or start new relationships. Sometimes new friends are even better than new relationships, because there is no uncertainty in friendships. This will make it easier for you to recover.
4. 4 Love yourself. It's important to remember that you are worthy of love, no matter what someone else thinks or feels. Make a list of what you love about yourself: a smile, witty remarks, love of books, and so on. Make time for what matters to you if you decide to start a new relationship.
   • Do what you love, especially if in a previous relationship you did it less often, or did it just to impress.
   • Don't take all the blame on yourself. Understand that sometimes people just can't be together. This does not mean that you are to blame or that you are not worthy of love.
5. 5 Do not hurry. Don't force yourself to start a relationship if you're not ready. You will feel when you are ready. Don't push yourself and listen to yourself. One day you will realize that you can love someone again.
   • Pushing yourself back into a relationship or having sex with someone can make you feel worse, especially when you realize you've agreed to be intimate with someone you didn't even like.

Tips

• The tips above will help both in a situation where you were just in love with someone, and if you were in a relationship with the person.
• It is important to remember that everything takes time. Keep yourself busy and pay attention to yourself. This will help you stop feeling sad, crying, or thinking about the person too often.
• Do what you like. Think about what gives you pleasure. Draw, dance, chat with friends, play video games.
• To cry, look for quotes about heartbreak or unrequited love. They will tune you in the right way.