Content

• Steps

Overcoming failure is looking for a new start in yourself. First, you must overcome the feeling of failure. Failure in a project, relationship, or goal can make you feel tired, but if you admit your disappointment and accept your mistakes, you can move on. Being optimistic about your reality will help you formulate new plans without forgetting your failures. Remember, the long-term goal is recovery: adaptability and survival. Each failure is an opportunity to become stronger and wiser.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Thoroughly Feel your disappointment

1. 

   Feel the emotions. When you feel defeated, you will have to overcome self-accusation, disappointment, and despair. Suppressing feelings of suffering can harm your health, relationships, and future success. Pay attention to each emotion. Take the time to name them, whether it's anger, boredom, fear or shame. This will help you get past them without affecting yourself or others.
   • Take time to process your emotions. If you try to overcome or let go of your disappointment before you understand your true feelings, you may act in a hurry.
   • Suppressing pain can affect your health, such as chronic pain, lack of sleep, and even a heart attack.

2. 

   
   
   Accept what happened. After feeling shocked and frustrated, you need to accept what happened. It can be difficult to move on if you just blame yourself or others, or pretend nothing happened. Write and reflect on what happened, the causes and the results of both. Just write down the facts, don't blame, judge or justify. You can write a journal or a letter to yourself.
   • If writing is not the right expression, you can find someone to talk to. A trusted friend or family member, or counselor can help you get past the denial.
   • Try to get the opinions of people who are involved - but not emotionally involved in what just happened. For example, a friend soon noticed signs of a fracture in your relationship.
   • If you are unable to overcome the denial - for example, you refuse to discuss or find out what happened, or don't want to consider things you could have improved on, or ignore the consequences - Find out what's stopping you. What are you afraid of if you learn about this failure? You may feel like a bad parent because your child is abusing drugs, and instead of facing the problem you are denying and giving them money to buy "clothes", even if you know that they will use the money to buy medicine.
   • Recognize irrational or excessive fears. Are you worried that your failure will put your intelligence and abilities into doubt? Do you imagine yourself being the only one going through this and you're being judged? Are you worried that people will be disappointed and fall out of love with you if you don't succeed?
   • Evaluate the results of taking or not taking action. What will you achieve with action? What would get worse if you didn't act? You feel that the relationship has failed, and to avoid the pain of breaking up, you refuse to date or revisit the mistakes in the relationship. If you don't take action, you will avoid rejection or the painful feeling of breaking up. But you also miss out on the joys and warmth of dating, and you may miss out on a wonderful relationship.
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Part 2 of 3: Thinking through Failure

1. 

   
   
   Practice rearranging things in a positive way. To be positive is to find optimism in any situation, even failure. Observe the situation where you feel a failure and see different ways to describe it. "Failure" is a subjective term. Instead of saying "I failed to find a job", you can say "I haven't found a job yet" or "The job search time is longer than I thought". Don't try to justify the mistake, affirm it without judgment, seek the best.
   • Another way to rearrange the situation is to find out why you were not successful, and then use that information the next time you go. The only way to find an effective way is to find a way are not effective.
   • Failure gives you the opportunity to learn until you get it right.
   • Athletes, scientists or successful people all have to try and fail many times, but they persevere until they reach their goals. Michael Jordan was dropped out of the basketball team in high school, but he trained hard and became one of the best athletes of all time.
   • Try using a sense of humor to encourage yourself when you are disappointed: "Well, I haven't found a job yet, but now I'm writing a great resume." Seeing humor in the situation take a step back and see things.
   • Humor is the key to recovery: smiling at yourself helps you overcome your biggest challenge.

2. 

   
   
   Identify negative thoughts. When you fail, you tend to beat yourself or even call yourself by name. Learn to identify common negative thoughts so you can let them go. These thoughts can be: thinking about all or nothing ("I did a great job the first time or should I give up"); serious matter ("That's terrible. There's no way for me to get up"); or label yourself negatively ("I'm a failure, impersonator.").
   • When these thoughts come to you, you must be suspicious of them. They come from the negative side, the critical side. Ask yourself "Is this true?" Seek evidence to support or defend against such charges.
   • Write affirmations against negative thoughts. If you continue to think of yourself as a failure, write "I am capable" on a sticky note and stick it in the mirror. Speak out loud to yourself and you can begin to change your negative thoughts.

3. 

   Stop repeating failure. You find yourself unable to stop thinking about what happened, over and over in your mind? This is repeating, instead of giving insight into what happened or how it can be improved, it only increases your negative feelings.
   • Keep a journal to let go of your obsessive thoughts.Writing your thoughts on paper can help you get rid of repetition and fear.
   • Instead of explaining, you should ask yourself "Ok, what did I learn this time?" You may have learned that you need to be at your appointment 30 minutes early to avoid being interviewed.
   • Practice mindfulness meditation to bring yourself back to reality. Mindfulness meditation helps you stop worrying about what happened in the past and focus on the present moment, you can start asking yourself: today What else can I do?
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Part 3 of 3: Restoration

1. 

   Find out the cause of the failure. What happened to get things wrong? Can you prevent that? Think about possible solutions you could have. Are your expectations real? Try discussing your wishes with your partner or groupmate to figure out how realistic it is.
   • If you fail to advance, request a meeting with your supervisor to discuss the matter. Wait until you have overcome the past and your disappointing emotions. Think about the reasons for the failure and look for future progress.
   • If you fail to find a job you like, try reading the online profiles of people who get it. Do they have a different educational background than you? Years of experience? Did they join the workforce at another time?
   • If you fail in love, ask yourself if you are placing excessive pressure or expectations on the other person. Do you understand their feelings? Do you support their project and their friendship?

2. 

   Set realistic goals. After you find the cause of your past failures, continue to set more realistic goals for the future. What do you want next? How do you act to be successful? Evaluate the reality of your new goal with someone you trust.
   • For example, if you are just halfway through and hoping to run 1km in 5 minutes, you are probably too ambitious. Try to aim to run faster in the next race. If last time you ran 1km for 10 minutes then try to run for 8 minutes this time. Please practice regularly.
   • If your previous goal was to publish the novel by the end of the year, this time, make a goal that is easier to achieve. The new goal might be to get feedback on the manuscript. Sign up for novel editing seminars or hire a freelance editor / writing instructor.

3. 

   Practice psychological contrasts. Balance positive thinking and realistic planning by practicing mental contrasts. First, visualize the desired goal being achieved smoothly. Let yourself visualize overall success for a few minutes. Next, imagine the obstacles you might encounter. Visualizing the obstacles on your way to reaching your goal can help you feel energized and more likely to solve problems. If the goal doesn't make sense, this exercise allows you to let go of the intention and focus on the more sensible goal.
   • Recognizing the obstacles between you and your goal is not negative and unhealthy thinking. Mental contrast exercises will help you learn not to cling to difficult or impossible goals.

4. 

   Change your approach. Come up with an idea and choose the most reliable one. Use mental contrast to test the solution in your mind. Wondering if you have the resources to make a new plan? What new problems will arise? How do you deal with it? How do you organize yourself before you start?
   • Avoid repeating the same error. The new approach should not be accompanied by strategies that could have been the cause of the previous failure.
   • Plan B. Even the best approach can fail because of unforeseen events. Make sure you play with a solid backup plan.

5. 

   Try again. With new goals, new plans are set up to achieve them. Take the time to reflect on the process when the steps begin to work. You can completely change your approach. You learn as you do, and the natural part of the process is adapting your approach. Whether you hit your goal or have to try it again, you'll reach a higher level of resilience. advertisement