Content

• Steps
• Advice

Fear is a feeling we all experience, especially when starting a new, difficult job. The fear of failure is one of the most common and most harmful fears many people struggle with. However, failure is often the first step towards success. Brilliantly successful people like author J.K. Rowling of the series Harry Potter and billionaire entrepreneur Richard Branson talks about how often they fail and how failure makes them successful. Avoiding fear seems impossible; however, you can take a closer look at your fear of failure and manage it to create future success. Read on to learn how to overcome your fears and move towards your goals.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Adjusting Your Perspective on Failure

1. 

   
   
   See failure as lessons learned. When people are learning to master a skill or project, failure is an essential part of the learning process. Learning requires exploration and creativity, and both of these qualities give us an opportunity to find out what works and what doesn't. We cannot explore the depths of knowledge without trying. Seeing failure as a lesson will help you see it as a gift, not a punishment or sign of weakness.
   • Remember that many other people experience similar situations. Myshkin Ingawale, an Indian inventor had to test 32 samples of his technology before finding a successful one. He was able to give up and assumed he failed every time he encountered obstacles, but he continues to focus on learning from his mistakes and applying them to future experiments, and now His intelligence has helped reduce the maternal mortality rate by up to 50% in rural India.

2. 

   
   
   Re-evaluate your treatment. Often times, when the result is not as expected, we easily recognize the attempt as a failure. It is the "all or nothing" way of thinking and the deformed way of thinking that makes you evaluate things with absolute perspective rather than looking at them clearly. However, if we evaluate results as high or low efficiency with the aim of improvement, we are always capable of making positive changes.
   • Studies show that, typically, successful people face failure just like unsuccessful people, neither more nor less. The key entirely lies in how you interpret those failures. Don't let them make you believe you can't be successful.
   • Getting ideal results takes time and hard work. Success is a process. Don't let any sense of failure stop you from continuing with the process.
   • Don't leave the process, embrace it, understand that it will bring better results.
   • Remember that you cannot control or predict everything. See unforeseen fluctuations and changes as they are: external factors beyond your control. Only consider what is in your control.
   • Make sure your goals are realistic and achievable.

3. 

   
   
   Take action step by step. Rushing into a new adventure without being prepared can make things worse. You need to make an effort to overcome your fear or failure at your own pace without going too far from your comfort zone.
   • Try to find smaller steps toward a goal that you are comfortable with.
   • Think about your long-term and larger-scale goals related to those small steps that you know you can achieve.

4. 

   Be generous with yourself. Don't make fun of your fear because it comes up for a reason. Handle your fears, understand yourself, and understand yourself. The more you understand why you are afraid and what causes it, the better you will be able to handle it.
   • Write down your fears in detail.Don't be afraid to discover exactly what scared you and why.
   • Accept that those fears are part of you. Accepting your fears can help you regain control of them.

5. 

   Take note. Learning from the past is essential to building a better future for you. Keep a close eye on what works, what doesn't, and why. Plan every future action based on what you have learned from the past.
   • Improve your future plans by keeping track of what worked and what didn't help alleviate your fear of failure.
   • Learn to appreciate failure. Failure is also valuable and brings a lot of knowledge and success.
   • Experiencing failure allows you to learn from your failures and avoid similar failures in the future. You may still encounter challenges, hurdles and setbacks, but you'll be better equipped to overcome with the knowledge you gain.
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Part 2 of 4: Managing Fear of Failure

1. 

   Look deeper into your fear of failure. Often times the fear of failure is just a general understanding that we really worry about. If we consider that fear, we can discover that there are other fears behind it. These specific fears can be addressed and addressed once identified.
   • The fear of failure is often just a broad understanding of the problem.
   • We may worry about failure, but failure is often associated with other concepts like self-esteem and self-esteem.
   • There are links that attribute the fear of failure to shame.
   • Other fears may include being insecure from a risky investment or being humiliated in front of friends.

2. 

   Avoid personalizing and over-generalizing failure. It can be easy to interpret something as failure and mull over its lack of success. You can also take a single instance of failure and impose it on your whole life and yourself. You might think, "I'm a loser" or "I'm useless at that" when your efforts don't pay off as expected. While this is normal, it is of no use and is also not true.
   • Examine the monologues in your mind about the event. We often allow our thoughts to slip into unpredictable and unhelpful monologues. For example, when you are testing an invention and when the 17th test fails, you can hear a voice in your head like: “Yes, I can never get it right. I'm a failure. " Actually, the fact in this situation is simply that the test failed. That doesn't say anything about you personally or about your possible future success. Please separate these things from your thoughts.

3. 

   Refute perfectionism. Some people believe that perfectionism is synonymous with healthy ambitions or standards of excellence, but on the contrary, perfectionism can actually cause failure. Perfectionists are often obsessed with the fear of failure. They often label "fail" for anything that doesn't meet their irrational high standards. This can easily lead to attitudes like hesitation, because you are so worried about imperfection that you may never get it done. Set reasonable but ambitious standards and understand that sometimes your efforts may not meet them.
   • Studies have shown that perfectionist professors produce less research and material than professors who are adaptable and open to criticism.
   • Perfectionism can also increase the risk of mental illnesses such as depression or an eating disorder.

4. 

   Stay positive. It can be easy to focus on your past failures and let them hinder your future success. Instead of how bad things seem to go, focus on what is going well and what has been learned.
   • Even if your main goal is not achieved, you can still succeed if you learn from that experience.
   • If you only pay attention to negative aspects, the situation will go on just like that, completely negative.
   • By focusing on successes and positives, you will learn what works, and will better prepare you for the future.

5. 

   Keep moving forward. If your fear of failing at a new task or worrying about a failure is common, you can update your skills to address that fear. By practicing your skills and demonstrating to yourself that you are proficient in an area you value, you will increase your confidence. Recognize what you do well, as well as where you can further develop.
   • Reinforce the skills you currently have. Stay on top of the most popular practices that can be used with that skill set.
   • Learn new skills. By learning new skills, you will enrich your skill set and be better prepared for the variety of situations that may arise as you pursue your goals.

6. 

   Get into action. Real failure only happens when you never even try. Taking the first step in general is always the most difficult but the most important. It is natural to feel scared and uncomfortable when trying something new. There are several steps you can take to deal with this discomfort.
   • Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. Everyone has moments of discomfort or fear of challenges, even extremely successful business billionaires. Understand that the fear is natural and normal, and stop fighting it or overpowering it. Instead, take care of the work in spite of still feel scared.
   • Don't forget to divide your big goals into smaller ones. Knowing the small parts you know you can accomplish will make your big goal less intimidating.
   • The forward motion will provide you with new information and allow you to tailor your agenda for success.

7. 

   Facing failure. By actively coping with failure, you will find that failure is not actually as scary as it might seem. This is a method called exposure therapy, which can be used to reduce the effects of fear in your life. This type of practice will give you experience coping with fear or discomfort and discover that you can overcome it for success.
   • Find a hobby or activity that you are not proficient at. Start practicing and wait for the failures you face, understanding that they will only increase your chances of success in the future.
   • For example, try playing a new musical instrument. Failure often occurs during musical practice. This gives you more chances to feel more comfortable with failure. It will also show you that failure is not total or debilitating. Just because you miss a hundred the first time the Moonlight Sonate version doesn't mean you'll never get it right.
   • You could try asking a stranger for something as simple as a mint or asking for a discount on an item. Your goal is to fail, to make it successful, and to neutralize the fear that might influence your behavior.
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Part 3 of 4: Overcoming Panic of Fear

1. 

   Know when you are panicking. Sometimes the fear of failure can trigger reactions in the body similar to panic or anxiety caused by any other fear. The first step to stopping such a panic attack is to recognize the symptoms from the start. Look for the following symptoms:
   • Rapid heartbeat or irregular heartbeat.
   • Difficulty breathing or throat tightness.
   • Tingling, shivering, or sweating.
   • Your mind is reeling, dizzy, or feeling like you are about to faint.

2. 

   Deep breath. During a panic attack, you usually breathe short, quickly, and that will only prolong the panic state. Take control of your breath, and take deep, slow breaths to help you return to normal.
   • Slowly inhale through your nose for 5 seconds. Use your diaphragm instead of your chest to inhale. The raised part is then your abdomen, not your chest.
   • The same speed breath in through your nose. Make sure to expel all the air in your lungs and focus on counting to 5.
   • Repeat until you start to feel calm.

3. 

   Relax your muscles. Your body can be very tense during a panic attack and this will increase feelings of nervousness. Exercise to release tension in your muscles by tensing, holding, and relaxing these muscles.
   • You can tighten and loosen all your muscles at once to quickly relax the entire body.
   • For better relaxation, start by stretching the muscles in your feet, holding it for a few seconds, and then relaxing. Gradually apply to upper body, stretch and release muscles in shins, thighs, abdomen, back, chest, shoulders, arms, neck, face.
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Part 4 of 4: Defeating Negative Thinking

1. 

   Try a method called STOPP. These are the initials of the steps to help you avoid reacting to immediate fear in situations. When you are faced with the fear of failure, practice the following:
   • Stop - Stop what you are doing. If you are doing anything, stop and step back from the situation. Give yourself time to think before you react.
   • Take a deep breath - Take a deep breath. Take a few seconds to cleanse your body with a few deep breaths. This action restores oxygen to your brain and helps you make smarter decisions.
   • Observe - Observe what's going on. Ask yourself a few questions. What are you thinking now? What are you feeling? What "scenario" is in your mind? Are you reviewing events? Are you making your point of view important? What are you focusing on?
   • Pull back - Back to look further. You look from the perspective of an objective observer. What would they see from that situation? Is there any other approach? How important is this situation in the grand scheme of things - does it matter 6 days or 6 months from now?
   • Proceed - Proceed based on your principles. Move forward with what you know and be determined to do. Do what works best with your values ​​system and your goals.

2. 

   Challenge negative inner voices. We are often our own harshest critics. You may find that your critical voice often makes you unhappy with statements like "I'm not talented" or "I'll never get it right" or "I shouldn't have tried it. ". Challenge these types of thinking as they come to mind. Those criticisms are futile but even more incorrect.
   • Think about how you can advise your friends. Imagine a friend or loved one is in your situation. Maybe your best friend is frightened by her decision to quit her career to pursue her dream of becoming a musician. What would you say to her? Would you immediately envision her failure? Or will you find ways to support her? Give yourself the compassion and confidence you have for your loved one.
   • Think if you are generalizing. Did you take a specific example and generalize it into your whole experience? For example, when your science project is unsuccessful, have you expanded to every aspect of your life and said things like "I am a failure"?

3. 

   Avoid exacerbating the problem. When you aggravate the problem, you fall into the assumption that the worst will happen. You allow your fear to lead your thoughts out of control, to seemingly logical heights. You can challenge this idea by relaxing and asking yourself to support your assumption.
   • For example, you may worry about failure if you change your major to something you really want to study but is challenging. Starting from there, your thoughts can gradually increase and become catastrophic: “If I fail that major, I will drop out of college. I will never find a job, will stick to my parents for life. I won't be able to date and marry or have children. ” Obviously this is an extreme case, but it's an example of how fear can lead your thoughts to wander around out of place.
   • Try to put your thoughts into perspective. For example, if you're afraid of changing your college major out of fear of failing, consider: what is the worst that could happen, and what would it be? In this case, the worst that could happen is that you are not good at organic chemistry (or whatever you like) and fail a few courses. This is not a disaster either. There are many things you can do to overcome this failure, such as hiring a tutor, studying more and talking to a professor.
   • The more likely case is, at first you will find the new subject difficult, but you will study, progress and complete college studies, delighted that you have pursued your passion.

4. 

   Realize that it is often you who criticize you the most. The fear of failure can arise from believing that people are watching your every move. You may feel that your every move is being noticed and rumored, but the reality is that most people are busy with their work and probably don't have enough time or energy. to keep track of your little things.
   • Find evidence against your assumptions. For example, you may be afraid to go to a party because you are afraid that you may say something stupid or make a joke that is ungainly. This fear of failure can prevent you from participating in social activities and socializing with others. However, you can consider previous experiences and the experiences of others to overcome this fear.
   • For example, you might think of a friend or anyone you know has been in an embarrassing situation. Surely you can find someone with a communication mistake. Have they turned away or been seen as a failure by others? Probably not.
   • Next time you find yourself afraid of facing failure and being judged for it, remind yourself: “Everyone goes wrong sometimes. I allow myself to make mistakes or look silly. That won't make me a failure either. ”
   • If you come across harsh judges or over-criticals, understand that the problem is with them, not with you.
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Advice

• You can get overwhelmed if you think about all the projects at once. Think in terms of smaller steps that you know you can accomplish.
• If you learn from an experience, it is also a success.
• Be generous with yourself, everyone is afraid sometimes.