Content

• Steps
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Empathy involves the process of trying to understand someone's problem from a different perspective rather than based on one's own point of view. Even if you're struggling with this process, you can support your friends and loved ones by learning how to reveal sympathy. You can take the following steps to do this, and while keeping your doubts or negative reactions private, you will find that you can develop a more sincere sense of sympathy. expectations.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Expressing Empathy

1. 

   Give the other person an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Ask to hear about their feelings, or about how they're trying to deal with their problems. You don't have to have a solution to their problem. Sometimes, listening with empathy is a great help.

2. 

   
   
   Use body language to show empathy. Even if you are listening to your partner, you can show them that you are truly attentive and sympathetic through your body language. You should face the other person instead of facing the other direction.
   • Don't try to multitask, and stay away from all distractions during the conversation. If possible, you should turn off your phone to avoid any interruptions.
   • Maintain open body language by not crossing your legs or arms. You can relax your hands to your sides. This will help convey the message that you are listening to the other person.
   • Lean towards the person. This will make them feel more comfortable talking to you.
   • Nod while the person is speaking. Nodding and doing other motivational gestures will help your partner feel more comfortable during the conversation.
   • Imitate your partner's body language. This doesn't mean you need to accurately copy the person's actions, but form the same body posture as the person (for example, face the person when he or she is facing you, keeping your feet facing the person) helps create an atmosphere of empathy.

3. 

   
   
   Listen first and comment later. In many cases, the person only needs you to listen as they explore their feelings and thoughts. This is an act of sympathy, even if you don't feel positive and helpful. Often times, if you give advice when the other person doesn't ask, you run the risk of making the person feel as though you were trying to make their experience your own.
   • "Listening without giving a solution," says author Michael Rooni, will allow you to give your partner a safe place to vent and process your emotions. You don't have to make them feel compelled to follow your advice, or like you are "taking over" their problem or situation.
   • If in doubt, you can ask, "I want to help you when you need it. Do you want me to help you with the problem, or do you just need a place to vent? For whatever it is?" I will always be with you ".
   • If you've ever encountered a similar experience, you can help out by offering practical advice or a method for coping. Present your advice as though it were a personal experience, not an imperative. Example: "I am so sorry you broke your leg. I know how bad this is because I also broke my ankle a few years ago. Would you like me to talk about how? Have I done to deal with it or not? "
   • Make sure you don't behave like you are ordering the person to take a particular action. If you want to give advice and the other person is excited to know about it, you can express it as an exploratory question, such as "Have you considered _____?" or "Do you think it would be better if you _____?". These types of questions express an acknowledgment of the opponent's decision-making ability and appear less bossy than saying "If I were you, I would ______."

4. 

   
   
   Use appropriate physical contact. Physical contact can provide a great deal of comfort, but only if it fits into the scope of your relationship. If you are too used to hugging someone in need of empathy, you can go for it. If neither of you is comfortable with this, simply touch the person's arm or shoulder lightly.
   • Keep in mind that some people may be feeling emotionally vulnerable or in such pain that you cannot enjoy the feeling of a hug right away, even though a hug is quite common in the interaction of both. Pay attention to your partner's body language and judge if he or she is open-minded. You might also ask, "Will a hug make you feel better?".

5. 

   Offer to help the person with their daily work. Someone who is going through a difficult time in life will surely be grateful for other people's support with his or her daily work. Even if the person seems to be handling them quite well, this gesture will show that you are available to help. You can ask them to let you bring food you cook from home or buy from a restaurant to their home. Ask them if you can help pick up the kids after school, either water the person's garden, or support them in other ways.
   • Mention a specific time you will be there to help, instead of asking if they will need you. This will reduce the need to think and make decisions in times of stress.
   • Consult before ordering food. In certain cultures or after the funeral, the person may have plenty of food left in the house. Better yet, help them do other things.

6. 

   Based on the religion that both share. If you both share the same religion or share a common view of your spiritual life, you can use this to build connection with that person. Ask to pray for the person or attend a ceremony with them.
   • Don't bring up your own religious views in the process of showing sympathy to someone who doesn't share the same thing.
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Method 2 of 3: Stay Away From Some Common Mistakes

1. 

   Avoid claiming that you know or understand the problem the person is experiencing. Even if you have had a similar experience, keep in mind that each person will have a different coping strategy. You can describe how you feel in the experience or provide helpful advice, but keep in mind that the person may be struggling differently than you.
   • Instead, say something like, "I can only try to imagine the difficulty this is causing you. I was sad when my dog ​​passed away."
   • Most importantly, never claim that your problem is more serious than that of the person (even if you really feel that way). You are there to support that person.

2. 

   Avoid understating or rejecting the other person's feelings. You need to realize that the problem they are facing is true. Focus on listening to them and helping them deal with them, rather than telling them they are not worth the attention.
   • Try not to underestimate or dismiss the person's experience inadvertently. For example, if you are comforting a friend who has lost his pet by saying, "I'm sorry you lost your dog. At least not too bad - you can. have lost a loved one in that family, "you are dismissing the grief that the person has for their pets, even if you didn't mean to. Doing this can cause them to hesitate to share their feelings with you, or even feel ashamed of themselves.
   • Another example of rejection is a well-meaning statement like "Don't think so". For example, if your friend is having trouble with his body image after experiencing an illness and tells you they feel unattractive, don't respond by saying: "Don't think so! You're still pretty". This will make the person think they were "wrong" or "bad" because they had this thought. You can acknowledge their feelings without agreeing to it. Example: "I heard you say you don't find yourself attractive, and I'm sorry that it hurts you. Must have been bad. But I honestly think you still look very charismatic."
   • Likewise, don't say "at least not as bad as the other things you're dealing with." This statement will be seen as a rejection of the person's problem and also a reminder of other problems the person is facing in life.

3. 

   Avoid expressing personal beliefs that the other person does not share. The person may not feel comfortable with this statement, or they may feel offended. They will often feel insensitive or "out of freedom". It is even better to keep your focus on the people you are interacting with and the actions you can take for them.
   • For example, you might be someone who has quite a strong religious belief and you believe in the next life, but that person is not. Your instincts may want to say something like "At least now, the person you love has gone to a better place", but that person might not get comforted. from this.

4. 

   Don't force the person to use the solution you offer. You can point out a course of action that you think might be helpful for the person, but don't stress the person by constantly talking about it. You might think this is a pretty straightforward and easy solution, but understand that the other person might not agree with them.
   • Once you've stated your point, don't repeat it. You can mention it again when new news comes out. For example, "I know you don't want to take pain relievers, but I've heard of a safer and less side effects drug that you can take. Would you like to know its name for you?" Can I do more research myself? ". If the person refuses, don't go on talking about it.

5. 

   Maintain calm and kindness. You might think the person's problem was trivial and not as serious as yours. You might even get jealous of someone because their problem is so trivial. This is not the right time to raise this, and you will never get a chance to do so. It's best to politely say goodbye to the other person and leave, rather than expressing your discomfort.

6. 

   Don't be difficult or indifferent. Many people think "whip love" is an effective therapeutic technique, but this is the complete opposite of showing sympathy. If someone is upset or upset for an extended period of time, they may become depressed. In this case, the person should see a doctor or therapist; Trying to help them become "tougher" or "move forward" will not be the right course of action.

7. 

   Don't offend that person. This might seem pretty straightforward, but during times of stress, it can be easy to lose control of your emotions. If you find yourself arguing with the person, insulting the person, or criticizing their behavior, leave the place and apologize once you have calmed down.
   • You also shouldn't have fun in a way that is offensive to someone in need of sympathy. They will probably feel weak and vulnerable.
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Method 3 of 3: Using Helpful Words

1. 

   Be aware of an event or problem. Use these statements to explain why you are reaching out to someone in need of empathy if you know about the issue from someone else. If the person does initiate the conversation, you can respond with a verbal expression of how you feel about their feelings.
   • "I'm sorry".
   • "I hear you're having trouble".
   • "That sounds heartbreaking."

2. 

   Ask the person about his or her history of dealing with the problem. Some people respond to stress or grief by keeping themselves busy. They may not have taken the time to think about their emotional state. Make eye contact with them and use that clear statement that you are asking about their feelings, not about their daily life:
   • "How do you feel?"
   • "How is it going?"

3. 

   Show a supportive attitude. Make it clear that you will always be with the person. Mention a friend or relative who can help them, reminding them that everyone will be there when they need it:
   • "I'm always thinking about you".
   • "I'll be there whenever you need it."
   • "I will contact you this weekend to help you with _____".
   • Avoid using the popular "Remember to let me know if you need me to do anything". This statement will cause the other person to think about something they can count on for your help and that they may not be able to do this in a tough time.

4. 

   Let your partner know that it's perfectly appropriate to show your feelings. Many people often have difficulty expressing emotions, or feel like they are experiencing "wrong" emotions. You can use these phrases to let them know that this is okay:
   • "You can cry if you want".
   • "You can do whatever you want right now."
   • "You can feel guilty about it" (or anger, or any other emotion that the person has just expressed).
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Advice

• If you don't have skills in expressing your feelings or understanding, just making an effort to let someone you love know that you're doing your best for them.
• Empathy is completely different from empathy. When you show sympathy, you are providing concern and concern over the other person's suffering, but you don't necessarily feel it. When you have sympathy, you are actively visualizing that you are in the person's shoes - you are basically trying to "put yourself in the other person's shoes". You can try to imagine how the person feels so that you can better understand them. Nothing is "better" than anything, but seeing the difference will help.