Content

• Steps
• Advice

Dealing with a stalker can be difficult.You may have to try to be kind and still have some space. Whether you want to see the person off your life forever, or change the frequency with which you meet them, there are many ways you can achieve your goals.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Set limits with the attachment person

1. 

   Take note of your feelings. Before you set limits, you have to know exactly how you are feeling. You may feel overwhelmed by the person's actions, so you may not be sure how you are feeling. Two common types of emotions you feel will be discomfort or frustration.
   • How do you feel when that person encroaches on your own time and space?
   • How do you feel when you are with that person and you wish for a price and not that?
   • Are there certain actions (eg not coming, calling late, etc.) that could cause those emotions?

2. 

   
   
   Decide what limitations you need. Once you have identified a specific emotion that is relevant to the wearer, you can set the limits as needed. Limits should be specific to the actions of the person who is stalking you.
   • For example, if the person calls you too much or too late, your limit will be to stop answering calls, or not pick up after a certain hour.
   • Set realistic limits that you can adhere to. Don't say that you'll never talk to the person again if you know you're not willing to do so.
   • Expect the results of those limits. If the person doesn't do what you want, what will you do?

3. 

   
   
   Speak directly. Communicate your limits with the person. Don't talk to them if you're feeling angry or upset. Be calm and assertive when setting limits. Tell the person that you are setting these limits to take care of yourself and not be mean to be rude or harm anyone.
   • If you are worried about having to talk to them, write down your limits so you won't be forgotten in the conversation.
   • For example, you might want to say something like “Thanh, you know I care about you and our friendship, and I've always wanted to be honest with you. Lately, I feel claustrophobic because you keep calling me eight times a day, so I want to set a limit of just one call a day. ”
   • Practice talking with a trusted friend or family member. Ask the person you practice to respond in the same way that the clingy person would.

4. 

   
   
   Be ready in case the person gets angry. When you set limits, you are changing the nature of your relationship with that person. The person may not like what you are doing and become angry. Note that the anger is not your responsibility, but the person's responsibility.
   • Don't let their anger change the limits you set. Just continue to follow the path you have chosen.
   • Let that person get angry and don't try to argue with them. For example, if the person says you are mean, rude, or selfish, don't try to explain to them that you're not.
   • You won't be able to have a constructive conversation with anyone if your anger arises.
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Method 2 of 3: Create distance with the person

1. 

   Limit your presence. If you've set a limit, reinforce it by only showing up when it feels appropriate. When you are no longer present often, the person may understand that you are taking those limits seriously. If the person calls you, you can choose not to pick up the phone. If the person texts you to invite you to meet, you may not respond, wait a few days before responding, or remind them of the importance of texting limitations.
   • Next time you meet them, you don't need to make any excuses. A simple denial is enough. Example: "You were so considerate that you invited me, but I don't want to go tonight."
   • You don't have to behave harshly, be impatient or even passively aggressive, like not responding to texts.
   • You may feel guilty or unhappy for distance yourself, but remember that you are doing this to take care of yourself.
   • While continually assertively reinforcing limits can cause fatigue and stress, it is important that you have been honest with yourself without hurting behaviors or getting in the way. get your own space.

2. 

   Learn to say "No". Rejection can sometimes be difficult, but it is essential when dealing with a clingy person. Saying "No" to the person is easier if you include another option. That choice should make the other person do something better for you.
   • For example, if the person asks you to go out, say, “Sorry, I can't go. I have homework. Why don't you invite friends or relatives to hang out with you? "
   • The person may complain because you refused, but be firm.

3. 

   Encourage acceptable behavior. As you set limits and distance yourself from that person, you are creating new rules for the relationship, and they need time to learn them. Encourage less clingy behaviors and be prepared in case the limits are broken. Please be patient. Changing this person's behavior may take time.
   • If they go to lunch with someone else, tell them that you were happy they had a good time.
   • Encourage them to meet other people and step out of their comfort zone. Let's say you feel very proud that they did.
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Method 3 of 3: Get the person out of life

1. 

   Create silence. Before you decide to exclude someone from your life, take a moment to see if that's what you want to do. Tell the person you think it's better for you to split up to meet new people and explore other interests. If it's your friend, let them know that you still care about them and want to be friends with them.
   • You could say, “I really appreciate our friendship and the time we spend together. I think it would be great if we both spend some time apart and meet new friends. ”
   • Be gentle and respectful when you speak, and don't judge the person. Avoid using phrases like: "You always ...", "You never ..." or "You can't ..."
   • Emphasize that you think this is the best solution for both.

2. 

   Let's talk honestly. If all measures have failed and you no longer want to see them again, let them know. Tell them that you want to end the relationship and the reasons for it. Be as frank as possible. This will be a difficult conversation.
   • You can say “I thought a lot about our friendship and the things that bothered me. I want to talk to you about it. ”
   • You can also say “I have to do what's best for me. I think we shouldn't be together anymore. Wishing you every success in everything. "
   • Before you chat with them, make sure this is what you want to do.

3. 

   Cope with guilt. You will feel very guilty for pushing someone out of your life. Your guilt is completely normal, and it will take some time before you return to normal. Be confident that you made the right decision, repaired your relationship with that person and did your best.
   • Accept that everyone comes and goes in your life, and that no one is perfect.
   • Learn from them and apply them to your relationships with others.

4. 

   Protect your decisions. It may take a while for the other person to get through the end of the relationship. The person may continue to try to contact you or approach you. The person may offer to talk back or persuade you to change your mind. Be firm with your decisions and don't give in to the other person's stubbornness.
   • If you respond to the person, you are sending a contradictory message. Responding to the person will encourage them to contact you.
   • If the person calls or texts you, you don't need to answer.You can block the person's number so that you don't have to know when they try to contact you.
   • Remember that you handled this situation in the best possible way and that you made the right decision.
   • You may have to remind the person that you no longer want to be with them or see them. Always be determined and determined.
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Advice

• Remember to always be honest with yourself. The person has a negative influence on you, so let them know it clearly and graciously.
• Don't be mean. This is something you have to be strict with yourself. If you are mean, the story will be different.
• Stay positive even if the person ignores you after you've let them know where they are.
• If this clingy “friend” is an introvert, and they keep in touch with you throughout the day, explain to them that you are busy with work and cannot talk or hang out.
• If you quarrel with that "friend", block their number and end the friendship completely. Don't feel guilty about ending the "friendship".