Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

The line between self-expression and arrogance is thin. In many situations like job interviews, looking for a raise or a promotion, when you are dating or making new friends, you may want to talk well about yourself without upsetting others.People are often attracted and have a positive attitude toward those who say positive things about themselves, but you may find it difficult to choose the good things to express yourself without. seems to be bragging too much.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Express yourself skillfully

1. 

   Know when to express yourself. The most common situations that cause people to want to show themselves off are when they are building relationships, especially during a job interview or first date. In those times you will try to show your worth to the other person when they have very little information to comment on you beyond what you say.
   • If it's your first date, you might want your partner to impress you and get to know you better, but don't let the person think you're complacent or arrogant. A good way is to wait for your audience to ask first before you talk about yourself.
   • For example, when the person asks you if you have any hobbies, you could say, “I love running. Initially he just jogs around the neighborhood, then runs a little further each day. Last month he joined his first marathon. Have you ever run? I am looking forward to a new companion ”. That sounds more personal and humble than when you sit down and say, “You run really well. He just attended the marathon and finished second. This year he will attend three more marathons ”.

2. 

   
   
   Talk about your achievements in your team-centered expression. Self-presentation is often competitive and self-centered, but sharing the merits of performance reduces the likelihood of being perceived as presumptuous.
   • Research has shown that listeners generally feel more positive about those who use inclusive vocations (like "we" and "our team").
   • For example, if you are working at an architectural firm, and your team has just signed a contract to design a new building, remember to use the pronoun "we" instead of "I" when talking about city walls. this product. “After months of effort, we have just signed a contract to design and build a new public library. It's a great opportunity for our team, ”sounds better than“ I just won a great deal to build a new building. That will be a factor underpinning the rest of my career ”.

3. 

   
   
   Be careful when using the pronoun "I". Of course, you need to use first person pronouns in situations where you want to express yourself, but you should focus on emphasizing your accomplishments.
   • You should also avoid absolute statements like, "I'm the best employee out of the staff my former boss has," or "I'm the hardest worker out there." Such claims are less likely to be true even to the most successful people, moreover, it seems exaggerated.
   • Absolute speech when a speaker claims to be "best" or "best" (even if it is true) is often considered more rhetoric than true achievement.
   • For example, “It was I who had the idea of ​​creating a space where every employee can freely talk about their problems,” sounded more boastful than “I created a space for multiplication. you can speak comfortably ”.
   • Instead, try using statements like, "When I was working at the same place, I tried my best to work diligently and conscientiously".

4. 

   
   
   Turn boastful speech into a positive expression. Using teammate language and referring to your accomplishments but turning in the most humble way, you can make a positive impression and show your worth without being seen as boastful.
   • Here is an example of the rhetoric and simple but positive expression:
     • Positive version: “Our team was honored at the party last night. We had a great season and everyone is very excited. I was even chosen as the best player in the tournament. Indeed that was a surprise to me. I played very actively this summer, but I just played for passion and for practice. So I'm really happy to be awarded and recognized. I am very happy to help the team complete well the season.
     • Flaunting version: “My team was honored at the party last night. I had the best season, so I was very excited. They gave me the best player award, but it came as no surprise since I was always the top player all season. In fact, I am the most comprehensive player in this league ever. I can freely choose any team I like for next year, so maybe I'll move on to playing in a better team.

5. 

   See how you react to hearing other people express themselves. A good tip when you are still hesitant about expressing yourself is to consider your own reactions to other people's behavior: When you hear someone expressing yourself, think about what makes you feel. feeling they are bragging, and how they can be corrected so that they don't seem bragging anymore.
   • When you are worried that you are being overbearing, ask yourself, “Is that true? How do I know it's true? "
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Method 2 of 2: Have a sense of confidence

1. 

   Build true self-confidence by recognizing your positive qualities. You can start by listing your accomplishments in detail, how you have achieved them, and what makes you proud.
   • For example, you might be proud of your college graduation, because you're the first in your family to do so, and you'll graduate from college while still working two jobs.
   • This will help you realize that you really have a record, and at the same time have a deeper insight into those achievements.
   • Many of us generously praise others rather than praise ourselves. To take a more objective perspective and overcome your hesitation to praise yourself, think about your accomplishments and accomplishments from an outside perspective. You can do this by writing down positive things about yourself in the third person, similar to writing a recommendation or endorsement about a friend or colleague.

2. 

   Avoid just talking about yourself. Self-centered, self-centered people (and insecure people) often brag about themselves and their accomplishments, even when the other person doesn't listen.
   • Pay attention to signs of body language like absent eyes, glancing at your watch, or picking up fibers from your clothes. Those are the clues that people are bored listening to you and that it is time to stop. Stop talking about yourself and ask about that person.
   • Try to listen and respond by summarizing what the other person is talking with to show that you understand what they are saying. For example, “I heard you say…” It is both a compliment and a beautiful image of your personality. Listening attitude always makes a good impression on people, especially when you show that you understand.
   • Briefly. What you say will easily stick in people's mind if you can wrap your mind in a sentence or two. If you keep chattering about yourself for 15 minutes, maybe next time people will move away when they see you from afar because they think you are presumptuous and troublesome.

3. 

   Set self-improvement goals. Along with the recognition of your achievements, do not ignore the areas where you need to do better. The attitude of ignoring areas that need improvement can make people see you as a brag.
   • Acknowledging areas where you can do better will actually make your positive affirmations more credible, even making you appear even more knowledgeable in a particular area.

4. 

   
   
   Emphasize your skills if you are a woman. While men's achievements are often attributed to their skills, the same men's achievements are attributed to luck. Women who boast are often more heavily judged than men who share similar personalities.Thus, if you are a woman and are trying to show off your positive achievements, you must make sure to emphasize your skills alongside your accomplishments.
   • You can do this by detailing what you did to get there. For example, if you win a scholarship, spend more time describing the work you did for the reward instead of just mentioning the reward.

5. 

   
   
   Get help if needed. If you are suffering from depression, social anxiety or dealing with low self-esteem, seek help from a mental health professional. These problems will make it difficult or impossible for you to tell other positive things about you.
   • For example, people with low self-esteem often find it impossible to find good points about themselves, so that feelings of sadness, anxiety, and fear invade their souls.
   • A mental health professional can give you tools to build self-confidence, take steps to deal with depression and social anxiety, and help you find ways to change your thoughts and behavior. to make life better.

6. 

   
   
   Give everyone sincere compliments. Regularly praise others for what they've done and that you truly admire. Never give a fake compliment.
   • When you get complimented by someone, don't “initiate” a discussion about your great qualities. Be humble, accept praise, and say "thank you". If you have to say anything more, you could say something like, “I appreciate it when you realized that. That is what I am really trying to strive for in life ".
   • You don't need to respond to a compliment if you don't have something sincere to say. A simple thank you is enough.
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Advice

• Before you want to show off something about yourself, imagine that you are the other person and think if you are bored.
• Don't start hoarding things of material value to brag about them. If you ride a new sports car and wear a Rolex watch but are empty, no matter how much brag you have about your possessions, you won't feel more satisfied with yourself.

Warning

• Different cultures have different attitudes about how they present themselves. For example, Americans are often educated about personal values ​​and they talk about their accomplishments. In other countries, people are taught to be humble before others, and it is clumsy to talk about their accomplishments frankly. You need to respect those differences before you start talking about yourself.