Author:
Robert Simon
Date Of Creation:
17 June 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Ideological adultery is an affection that arises when your spouse is close and intimate with another person on an emotional level but is not having sex. Although they do not have a physical relationship, it is still considered an act of betraying the trust between the couple. To see if your partner is having an ideological affair, take note if they are indifferent or stop sharing everything with you, then look for suspicious messages or calls on their phone and see. examine the person's sneaky behavior.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Realize the distance
Realize your spouse stops sharing important thoughts. When you develop feelings for someone, your spouse is more likely to confide in that person, not you. It could be about dreams, hopes, fears or successes, and so on.
- Find out if your partner still shares things with you, as they usually do. Ask them questions and see how they react, and listen throughout the conversation to see what they're talking about.
- If you know your partner shares important information with someone else when you should have been first known, then it is a bad sign that you are no longer the person they want to share with.
"Emotional problems arise when my needs are no longer met, especially when they feel that their partner is not present for them."
Lauren Urban, LCSW
Psychotherapist Lauren Urban is a psychotherapist based in Brooklyn, New York with over 13 years of experience in therapy for children, families, spouses and individuals. She received her master's degree in social work from Hunter College in 2006 and works with clients to help them change circumstances and lives.
Lauren Urban, LCSW
Psychotherapist- Know if your sex life has changed. Although ideological cheating may not involve physical relationships, it can lead to physical separation between a couple. For example, having less sex than before or changing sex life, becoming more informal and less intimate.
- For example, your spouse may barely look at you, hug you, have sex in a hurry, or cease to cuddle each other after fun.
- The occasional guilt may cause your ex to want to have sex more often or suddenly care about you, give gifts, and so on.
Find out if your partner stays away. When people have other feelings outside of the world, they often become distant from their spouse. This happens because they are concerned that they might be found out or accidentally say something about someone else. If your partner becomes distant or doesn't talk to you, they may be having feelings for someone else.- See what your spouse does around you. Do they go to bed early, stay up late at work, or don't want to do the things they used to do together?
Notice changes in speech. With a new relationship, people often begin to share things with a "third person" instead of talking to their partner. You can see changes in how your partner tells you. They may not talk to you as often as they used to, and they may become quieter and less sharing.- For example, your spouse often talks about what happened during their day, but lately they don't talk about them much anymore. This could be a sign of cheating.
- If you suddenly realize that there are too many important things your spouse hasn't told you, then they may already have someone else to share it with, especially if you know they have a close relationship with you. anyone else.
- The changes in your spouse's attitude and way of talking can also be problematic. Consider if they start reacting uncomfortably to you or talking to you in a reluctant tone.
Be careful of blinding. Blinding is a trick when a person tries to convince a victim that what they see and know is not true or even a myth. If your spouse regularly tells you that the thoughts are not right or crazy and try to paint a very different situation from what you see, they are probably using the trick to fire up fool you.
- For example, if you hear your spouse share some important information with another person that they never trusted and told you before, they may try to convince you that they did. with you already. This confuses you with your memory, even if you are sure you haven't heard of it.
Method 2 of 4: Watch for signs of sneaky behavior
Pay attention to any secret interactions with others. If your spouse has an ideological cheating, they will try to hide the relationship. They may be away from home more because they have to go out to meet "the third person".
- You should also pay attention if they are talking on the phone, texting or chatting online with other people without mentioning it to you. When you ask, they may turn away by saying "nobody," "just a friend," or "a colleague."
Determine if your spouse is trying to hide your interactions with him / her. This is through whether they delete call history or text messages in their inbox, go somewhere to talk on their own phone or never let you be present when the two of them meet.
- The other half may not want you to see how they treat the "mystery person" because they behave completely differently.
Notice if the person is suddenly grooming. While the sentiment may not be sexually related, it doesn't mean your spouse doesn't want to impress him or her. Usually, people who cheat on adultery tend to dress better before going to meet other people, apply perfume or change their appearance to make themselves more attractive.
- Notice if your spouse has suddenly changed his appearance recently. This may be because they are in a different relationship.
- If your partner starts dressing differently to work, go to the gym or have dinner with a partner, that could be a bad sign.
Pay attention to your intuition. Often times, your intuition will tell you when something goes wrong in the relationship. This is especially the case when your spouse has feelings for someone outside. If your partner begins to change his words when talking about someone or if you feel that the relationship is not just a friendship, your intuition may be correct.
- If sensations tell you something is going on then need to look for other signs. Don't just rely on your intuition for confirmation, but don't ignore it either.
- Another red flag is when you advise your other partner to be careful about developing a close friendship with another person that he or she makes fun of and rejects.
Method 3 of 4: Evaluate your spouse's interaction with the other person
Observe inappropriate behavior or drastic changes in behavior. When people begin to have feelings outside, often behavior changes in a confusing and abrupt way. These behaviors manifest in many forms. Take note of anything too intimate or personal between your spouse and someone else.
- For example, your spouse can text or call him or her often. This usually takes place secretly in the evening. Consider anything your spouse shouldn't have done with anyone else.
- Also notice changes in your partner's habits such as staying up late, going to work earlier, spending more money, or drinking alcohol more often.
Notice your spouse's unusual behavior around other people. Adultery gives people a "way out" to become different or behave differently than when they were around their partner. If you find your spouse is with someone you suspect is a "third person", observe their reaction. Consider any differences from the way they treat you.
- For example, your spouse may feel more distant from you because of life pressures such as paying bills, work and responsibilities with family. When they are with others they can laugh, relax and have fun. However, your partner will feel anxious or uncomfortable around him or her in your presence.
Hear if the other half suddenly said anything about the person. When a person develops feelings for another person, your partner tends to compare you with that person or to show disappointment about things about you that they never mentioned before. Comments may come out randomly and not maliciously, but they show that your spouse is thinking about someone else.
- For example, the other half might say, "They find your jokes interesting," "The person also likes the kind of movie you like," or "They can catch up with what you say." Begin to notice if your partner says things like this often.
Method 4 of 4: Solve the problem
Talk to your spouse. If you think the person is having an affair, ask them. See if they are defensive, evasive, or angry. If you do not feel comfortable asking directly, you can ask about the "third person".
- Try not to accuse the person. Instead say, "I feel you are spending a lot of time with that person. This hurts me, it doesn't seem like we are as close as we used to be."
Keep calm. During your conversation, you need to stay calm. The result will go nowhere if both are angry. If your spouse denies or admits your closeness to another person, don't get loud or get angry. Instead, take a deep breath before reacting.
- If the person is in denial, this is an opportunity to discuss problems in the relationship, such as feeling distant or indifferent.
Evaluate your doubts. First, you need to find out why you are suspicious. Have they had an emotional or physical affair in the past? Have other people noticed your spouse's behavior? Is this rooted in your own problem? Evaluating these things will help you find a solution.
- Analyze your feelings. Are you jealous? Do you feel insecure? Have you been cheated on in the past? Maybe these have made you sensitive and skeptical.
- Talk to your significant other about how you are feeling. Sharing your insecurities or sad past can help you both build a stronger future.
- You can talk to a trusted friend or family member about your doubts. Choose someone your partner doesn't have aversion to, who can give you the most objective judgment. Make sure that the person won't tell anyone else what you shared as this could leave your spouse feeling betrayed.
