How to know if your ex wants to miss you

Author: Lewis Jackson
Date Of Creation: 8 May 2021
Update Date: 1 July 2024
Anonim
5 Signs Your Ex Misses You (Even if They Pretend Not To)
Video: 5 Signs Your Ex Misses You (Even if They Pretend Not To)

Content

The relationship is over, but it doesn't mean you and your ex are ready to leave each other. If you still have feelings for your ex and are wondering if he or she feels the same way, you will want to pay attention to how he interacts with you and how he or she behaves around others. However, the best way to find out is to have a genuine conversation with the person - interpreting their behavior is considered incomplete to determine if the person is interested in refreshing the relationship. Relational or not.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Observe your ex's behavior towards you

  1. Think about what you know about the person. Examining how you know about yourself, your ex, and your relationship is the best way to learn how to interpret the behavior you observed. Think about your relationship and how your ex communicates and deals with conflict. Is that person straightforward? If so, they won't hide their feelings and you will be able to tell if they miss you. Has the person ever run away from you when angry or upset? Perhaps their silence at this moment means they don't yearn for you - maybe they're upset, angry, and don't want to talk. Is that person someone who often grabs everything and immerses himself in the past? If that's the case, then maybe they're thinking a lot about you. Use your understanding of your ex and his or her personality to interpret their behavior towards you.
    • You should remember that the interpretation of behavior is selective through the observer's biases and desires (when it is a personal relationship), and as a result, you tend to see things that are not real. . If your ex likes texting and you haven't heard from them since you broke up, don't try to explain that the silence means he misses you. You should consider this behavior from a more objective point of view.

  2. Pay attention to how often your ex is in contact with you. If your ex does not remember you, they will only contact you when needed (for example, to arrange a time when they can come and remove their things from your home). If your ex misses you, they'll have a hard time resisting the urge to call, text, email, etc. for you.
    • Sometimes, your ex contacted you for no particular reason. The person might say something like “Hey baby! I'm just wondering how you are these days.
    • The exception to this could be when your ex is the one who ended the relationship, but at the same time expresses a desire to maintain the friendship. In this case, contact you may This is a sign that the person misses you, but it could also be as simple as wanting to maintain the friendship.
    • If your ex is often “drunk on the phone” for you, it means he gets in touch with you in the middle of the night after having had a few drinks (and since then, less restraint), chances are Assembly is that the person possesses some feelings that they cannot handle.

  3. Think about how your ex will behave when you contact you. If they contact you, they may be looking for an excuse to call so that they don't look like they're constantly in contact without a specific reason. The person may ask for advice or for help dealing with a problem. The person may also try to redirect the conversation to deeper topics. For example, they will talk about what they want to achieve in life or what they think they are about the life they want to live.
    • When your ex contacted you, did they "accidentally" call you by a nickname they used to use when you were both together? This misspoke may indicate that they still think about you.

  4. Pay attention to how long it takes them to get in touch with you. If you contact your ex, how quickly does he respond to your text or email? How long does it take for them to call you back? While an example of spending hours responding won't necessarily make any sense, if the person is constantly ignoring you for hours or days, they probably don't miss you as much as you might expect. .
    • If your ex is completely ignoring your calls and texts, avoid sending more messages or making more calls. If you miss the person, this is quite difficult to do; However, imposing a rule on yourself that you will not contact your ex will help you move forward.
  5. Observe the person's body language. If you are in the same place as your ex, pay attention to their body language around you. If the person avoids looking you in the eye, crossed his arms or legs, and doesn't smile, he might not be happy around you.
    • Although body language is a great indicator of a person's feelings in a given moment, it can't tell you everything. For example, maybe your ex misses you terribly, but acts as though she doesn't care about your presence. This is probably because the person is afraid of getting hurt again.
    • Try to observe the person's body language and combine it with the information you already have. For example, if their body language is saying they don't want to be around you, but they call you every day, maybe they really miss you, but feel defensive against you. presence.
  6. Pay attention to whether they show up where you usually go. If your ex shows up by accident at your company, or in a place where they know you often, this is probably not a coincidence. If you both get to know some friends, that person may find out about where you will be and "happen" to be there.
    • If your ex is in a place where you are, don't forget to observe their body language. Does your ex often glance in your direction? If so, they are also trying to observe your behavior.
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Method 2 of 3: Observe the person's behavior around others

  1. Check out the person's social media. If you are both still friends on social media, you should carefully observe the person's posts and interactions. Does the person often post quite a few vague and / or sad articles (sad songs about lost love, etc.)? Do they post comments on old photos of the two or "like" them? If so, this could be a sign that the person is struggling with the breakup.
    • However, keep in mind that social media is not an accurate description of what's going on in someone's life. Even ordinary people posting lots of photos that look like they're living the perfect life can be dealing with a huge emotional problem.
    • Don't go too far with checking your ex's social media. Respect your ex's privacy, and limit yourself to checking in at most once a day.
  2. Pay attention to how your ex behaves around you in social situations. If you are still meeting a group of friends you both know, observe carefully (but discreetly) how the person behaves when you are in the same group of friends. If your ex looks uncomfortable seeing you in a group of friends, and tries to avoid interacting with you, this may be because they are dealing with lingering feelings.
    • However, you need to be careful. They may still be dealing with their old feelings, but this doesn't necessarily mean they miss you. For example, your ex may be very angry with you because your actions hurt them. Try to judge their behavior based on the breakup context and previous interactions.
    • Notice if your ex is often making eye contact with you even when he or she is interacting with others. This may mean that they also want to observe your behavior to see how you feel.
  3. Chat with friends you both know. If you both have a few mutual friends you can trust they will keep your investigation private, ask them if they have mentioned anything about you. Your mutual friends should be able to give you insight into your ex's condition.
    • If you have a few mutual friends, but are afraid that they will let your ex know you asked about them, you can naturally ask the question. For example, instead of asking directly, you could say something like, “What am I wondering about? I know he has an important exam coming up, and I hope everything goes well. Maybe they will understand what you mean, but it won't be as obvious as saying "anything about me?"
    • However, you should avoid constantly bothering your friends about the subject. You can mention it from time to time, but if you talk about it often, they will get annoyed.
    • If your mutual friends say something like "Sorry, but I don't want to get involved in the situation", respect their wishes. This doesn't mean they don't care about you; it's that they care about both of you and don't want to be dragged into a "he says this, she says that" situation or has to choose sides.
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Method 3 of 3: Chat with your ex

  1. Decide if this is a good idea. The easiest and most direct way to determine if your ex misses you is to ask him or her directly. Unfortunately, for most people, this is the most frightening method; however, simply talking to the person is the fastest way to find out what's going on.
    • Be aware that depending on the person, some people will be dishonest with their feelings, especially if they fear you are trying to hurt them.
    • If you and your ex are unable to communicate without turning it into a fight, meeting and trying to talk about the subject isn't a good idea.
    • Asking the person upright may seem intimidating, but it will help you avoid long-term ambiguity - instead of spending time trying to interpret his or her silence or the meaning of the smileys he uses, you will know clearly whether he wants you both to get back together or not. If not, you can start trying to let go, move on and not waste your time on someone who no longer wants to date you.
  2. Contact that person. You can get in touch via text or email, but the fastest way is probably to call them. Keep the conversation as light and friendly as possible. Ask if he or she wants to go out for lunch or have coffee with you because you want to talk about something.
    • Understand that the person may refuse. If your ex refuses to see you, this is a good sign that he or she doesn't miss you, or that if he or she does, they aren't ready to see you. Try not to get angry. Instead, respect their wishes.
  3. Keep it light. If this is the first time the two of you have met since the breakup, the situation may feel awkward. Be as open as possible and try to keep the situation as light as possible. Ask them questions (for example, inquire about work or study), and let them know some of the things that are going on in your life.
    • Try to direct the conversation to light things and don't jump into talking about your relationship right away. This can help improve your mood, and let your ex know you're not trying to start an argument.
  4. Wait for the right moment. If you are at a restaurant or cafe, and are ordering food and / or drinks, you should wait until you receive them before discussing the reason for the meeting. This will help ensure that you are not continuously interrupted by the waiters waiting for you to order, bring you food, etc.
    • If you are ordering drinks, you should stay away from alcoholic beverages (if this is quite familiar to you). While you might think that drinking a few drinks will help you relax, it can also make you say something you didn't want or will make you more emotional.
  5. Be truth. Although it may seem intimidating, at some point you will have to state the reason for the meeting. Start by saying that you appreciate that the person has agreed to meet you, and that you want to talk about something you're thinking about.If you still have feelings for the person, be honest about it.
    • If you miss your crush, letting them know the truth about how you feel can make you weak, but it also means that he or she will open up more about how they feel for you.
    • For example, you could say, “The truth is I don't stop thinking about you. I know we broke up, and I respect your feelings, but I want to know your feelings for me ”.
    • You can do this over the phone or text message, but chatting face to face with the person will allow you to observe their body language and facial expressions.
  6. Decide what to do next. If your ex misses you, and you miss him too, it's time to decide what to do with these feelings. Try to have an objective conversation about why you broke up, and whether it's worth trying again.
    • If your ex doesn't miss you, you can move on with your life. Don't try to force them to feel when they can't.
    • Although it can be difficult, it is important to think logically about whether giving the relationship a second chance is a good idea. You may discover that you both miss each other, but getting back together is impossible. For example, if you are constantly arguing about fundamental values ​​(like your religion or ideas about how you live), giving it a second chance won't make it any different.
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Advice

  • Be prepared for whatever lies ahead. If you want to find out if your ex misses you because you want you both to get back together, be prepared to face the fact that your ex may have moved forward.
  • You need to let go of your pride when talking to your ex. It can be easy to be sarcastic and defensive if you are unsure of how your ex will feel towards you, but behaving in this way will keep them from being honest with you.

Warning

  • Don't calculate. You should consider why you want to investigate this. If it is simply that you want to feel as if you "won", you're not doing it for the right reasons.